A Kiwi Farms game of FATAL: Abandon all hope, ye who enter here

Dynastia said:
Will I get a blindness debuff if I attack by biting? Seems like I can't possibly miss.
Click to expand...
Yeah. ANY attacks made while you're blind get rebuffed. Thanks fatal.

Anyway, I rolled your attack and you miss. Your victim is still to shocked to attack. Next combat round you will start to lose LP from suffocation.
 
Alright guys, just a reminder that I won't be updating today or tomorrow and you shouldn't feel obligated to either.
May you have a fatal new year.
 
  • DRINK!
Reactions: ActualKiwi
Splendid Meat Sticks said:
Alright, well first off the priest gets his spell off! He rolls to hit Azazel and does so. The spell he used is intestinal wreathe, reproduced below.
Intestinal Wreathe
Level 3
Magic Points 24
Discipline Earth
Range 500'
Area 1 target creature
Duration: 2^(level of caster) (so in this case, 8 rounds)
Effect: Your intestines come out of your ass and begin to strangle you. They don't go back in once the spell is over.


Azazel can't attack while he's engaged in wrestling. However, he's much stronger than the priest, and it's the caster's strength that determines how strong the target's guts are. Azazel manages to avoid having his windpipe crushed and breaks out of the wrestling. This ends the spell and his turn.



Alright, the last peasent defending the priest is able to parry your maul with his fucking dagger, because FATAL doesn't include any modifiers for weapons with different masses. However, he only has one attack and you have two, and your second one hits his right shoulder, killing him.



Magic clothing is dangerous to put on in FATAL. Oh, and you have really bad luck. The girdle that I randomly rolled is the Cursed Girdle of Gelation from page 725. You can try to take it off when you first put it on by rolling your Intuition vs TH 17. You got a 3d10 roll of 7, and a -3 modifier, so you don't take it off. Now you take 1d10 LP per turn as your veins turn to ice. This first turn, I rolled 10, so you lose 10 LP. You can no longer remove the belt, and are now a slave to it. Once you die, you still be alive, although I can't find any rules on how the dead regenerate LP, so I guess you'd technically have 0 LP (I'll research this and let you know.) You will be compelled to "Dramatically play god." You get to choose which god to impersonate. Since the Fatal supplement that describes the gods is only about 10 pages long and clearly very unfinished, feel free to just make one up.
Oh by the way, you're now totally immune to any form of fire, so it's not all bad.


Your attack instantly snaps his arm and kills him, but it also snaps the magic staff he was holding. Time for a roll on the random magical effects table! My 1d200 roll gives me 164. Everyone within 3d10 feet of the priest now gets a 1d10 bonus with the pewtersmithing skill! The book doesn't specify whether either of those rolls are made on a per person basis or if they're just made once for everyone, so in the intrests of sanity, I'll say that it's 23 feet and a +8 bonus. Everyone but Dynastia and Master Debater get this bonus.

And to answer your question, there are rules for suffocation: you take 1 LP of subdual (read: easily healed)



You miss and the peasent hits you in the torso for 1 LP of damage. Check your BPP.



We're in uncharted territory rules-wise here. You guys might have to pull him out.


The rest of the peasents realize that this is a fight that they can't win, and they begin to flee back to the town square where more townspeople are waiting and setting up a makeshift army to kill you guys. They could possibly have more casters too. The only peasent remaining can't move because a bugbear is stuck up his ass.
The pesent who was on fire has finished removing his clothes. He's now in just his underwear, but he's badly burned. He turns to run, but he's hurt, so he doesn't get away very fast.
Click to expand...

BPP?
 
I'm going to grab the peasant that's stuck on @Dynastia 's head, and attempt to pull his ass off of the kobold.
"Foul Titan, you have incured the wrath of KALIHAR! Unhand ye fare maiden!"
 
Body Part Points. Of you lose all of your BPP in an area, that part becomes useless. If it's the face, head, or torso, you die.
 
Where are the quadratic equations?
 
Is it bad that I'm finding this kind of fun? Like, we've had instiens rip out of people's ass and try to kill them, a kobold get their head shoved up someone's ass, and a belt that turns you into a fireproof zombie.
It's so retarded it's hilarious. It's like a bunch of edgy 12 year olds with a math fetish tried to make an RPG.
Goddamnit, I'm actually enjoying FATAL. Probably because I.m not doing the math.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Ravelord, WireSponge, GabeRegan and 2 others
Randall Fragg said:
Is it bad that I'm finding this kind of fun? Like, we've had instiens rip out of people's ass and try to kill them, a kobold get their head shoved up someone's ass, and a belt that turns you into a fireproof zombie.
It's so retarded it's hilarious. It's like a bunch of edgy 12 year olds with a math fetish tried to make an RPG.
Goddamnit, I'm actually enjoying FATAL. Probably because I.m not doing the math.
Click to expand...
Yeah, this game is Fucking killing me. But I'm not even choosing the worst or dumbest spells or items. These have all just been random! There are way waaayyy, worse things in the rulebook.
@Null please feature this so that my pain won't be in vain.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Vitriol
Alright guys, I know we all got off schedule because of the DDOS, but ideally I'd like to keep going. Are you all up for it? We could become known as one of the few groups to successfully run a game of FATAL.

Quick recap:
Dynastia is now choking to death inside of a peasent. He loses 4 LP.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Whatisgoingon and Doc Cassidy
Splendid Meat Sticks said:
Alright guys, I know we all got off schedule because of the DDOS, but ideally I'd like to keep going. Are you all up for it? We could become known as one of the few groups to successfully run a game of FATAL.

Quick recap:
Dynastia is now choking to death inside of a peasent. He loses 4 LP.
Click to expand...
I'm still good. I'm going to attempt to pull the peasant off of Dynastia's head.
Someone really needs to make a log of this and post it on /tg/ or something...
 
In the spirit of teamwork, Gregek Kuruhuluret will hold onto Dynastia while Randall attempts to wrench the peasant from her head.
 
Last edited:
Sybil will check the priest's corpse for anything shiny and interesting to offer her new fire deity.
 
Dynastia will struggle hilariously and squeal like an unfigged ADF.
 
Glaukon just stares at the scene, wondering if he's ever seen anything more amusing, and deciding he hasn't.
 
Randall Fragg said:
Is it bad that I'm finding this kind of fun? Like, we've had instiens rip out of people's ass and try to kill them, a kobold get their head shoved up someone's ass, and a belt that turns you into a fireproof zombie.
It's so retarded it's hilarious. It's like a bunch of edgy 12 year olds with a math fetish tried to make an RPG.
Goddamnit, I'm actually enjoying FATAL. Probably because I.m not doing the math.
Click to expand...

It's basically a poorly modded Dwarf Fortress Adventure Mode played with tabletop rules. You know, the kind of mod where you're afraid to fast travel because the rain might cause everything made of leather to catch fire.
 
  • Like
  • Agree
Reactions: The Gourd Thief Goblin, Whatisgoingon, Randall Fragg and 3 others
Randall Fragg said:
I'm still good. I'm going to attempt to pull the peasant off of Dynastia's head.
Someone really needs to make a log of this and post it on /tg/ or something...
Click to expand...

Azazel said:
In the spirit of teamwork, Gregek Kuruhuluret will hold onto Dynastia while Randall attempts to wrench the peasant from her head.
Click to expand...

Alright, you guys manage to pull him off (1d100+30 + 1d100+71 =166), but he takes one more point of damage to his face. However, the 4 LP of subdural damage that he lost will all be healed in (1d6) 3 minutes.

Burned Man said:
Sybil will check the priest's corpse for anything shiny and interesting to offer her new fire deity.
Click to expand...

You find 3 sp, regular clothes, a belt, and several pouches hanging from the belt. He also has a wooden walking stick. Each pouch has one spell ingredient inside. They are as follows:
  • The severed eye of a blind person
  • dirt
  • The corpse of a miscarried infant
  • a chemise
  • a chastity belt "worn by a woman who mysteriously became pregnant anyway"
  • a "captured vaginal belch (queef)" in a jar
  • the "Breast-milk of a bitch" (no word on what kind of bitch they mean)

Dynastia said:
Dynastia will struggle hilariously and squeal like an unfigged ADF.
Click to expand...
k
ActualKiwi said:
Glaukon just stares at the scene, wondering if he's ever seen anything more amusing, and deciding he hasn't.
Click to expand...
k
 
Splendid Meat Sticks said:
Alright, you guys manage to pull him off (1d100+30 + 1d100+71 =166), but he takes one more point of damage to his face. However, the 4 LP of subdural damage that he lost will all be healed in (1d6) 3 minutes.



You find 3 sp, regular clothes, a belt, and several pouches hanging from the belt. He also has a wooden walking stick. Each pouch has one spell ingredient inside. They are as follows:
  • The severed eye of a blind person
  • dirt
  • The corpse of a miscarried infant
  • a chemise
  • a chastity belt "worn by a woman who mysteriously became pregnant anyway"
  • a "captured vaginal belch (queef)" in a jar
  • the "Breast-milk of a bitch" (no word on what kind of bitch they mean)


k

k
Click to expand...
...those are some classy spell ingredients. Definitely beats a pinch of bulls dung or diamond dust..
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back