Do you like squirrels?

Solution
Fuck no. The neighbor spills pounds of peanuts off her porch trying to attract pigeons, but it mostly fosters a massive community of squirrels. My stairs are routinely slickened with squirrel piss and shit... until.

I get a livetrap, and smear a dallop of peanut butter on the trigger. Never takes more than 15 minutes wait to catch one.

Drown the varmits in a garbage can full of water. Throw the carcass on the roof for eagles/hawks/ravens.

I catch about four dozen a year, just to keep the population down.
Fuck no. The neighbor spills pounds of peanuts off her porch trying to attract pigeons, but it mostly fosters a massive community of squirrels. My stairs are routinely slickened with squirrel piss and shit... until.

I get a livetrap, and smear a dallop of peanut butter on the trigger. Never takes more than 15 minutes wait to catch one.

Drown the varmits in a garbage can full of water. Throw the carcass on the roof for eagles/hawks/ravens.

I catch about four dozen a year, just to keep the population down.
 
Solution
When I was a kid, we had a cat that really liked squirrels. Liked them so much he’d catch them, eat only their heads, and leave their decapitated bodies strewn in the yard. Shoveling and burying their bodies became a normal outdoor chore (we lived in a heavily forested area).

I miss that cat. Tougher and smarter than many people I’ve met irl.

Anyway, I like squirrels in as much as they’re a yardstick for how badass your cat is.
 
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Reactions: Aunt Carol
Not so much since I saw this in my yard.
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I always feel a little insulted when they do that thing where they run around to the back of the tree as you get closer, like you're going to forget they're there or something. I guess it's not the worst tactic but it still feels patronizing when they do it.

That's good, that's good, reminding the wildlife of its place by letting the juveniles of our species hunt them for sport.
 
I'd shoot squirrels if it weren't illegal. Annoying shits digging in my garden pots, eating plant leaves like the retards they are.

One of the pieces of shit chewed through a main pipe in my previous home and had the audacity to die inside the wall. Not only causing mold, requiring the siding be replaced, plumbing repaired, and attracted insects but by leaving their corpse the insurance company refused to pay for all of the damages as an "act of god".
 
They taste real good. Basically chicken with a bit of game. They are real good in dumplings. I actually don't make my kids kill. The eldest only likes putting holes in paper and the youngest doesn't care about shooting at all. The middle one is a hunter and he is making me set him up for deer next season. I used to be big into hunting but I don't have the time anymore. If you are implying that I am a psychopath by purportedly forcing my kids to kill poor cute animals, you are barking up the wrong tree. I raise poor cute animals from birth and then knock them in the head to stun them, slit their throats, and dismember them for the frying pan. It takes a lot more balls to take an animal in your hands and end it than shooting it from afar. By today's standard that would make me a psychopath, but somebody had to kill your hamburger.
 
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