I'm stoned and bored so I decided to poke around and find out about Daltons family, since it's never something I looked into.
Found this obituary, with this comment posted on it. That's clearly Daltons retardeese, so we can assume all the people listed are his family.
Where I'm a little confused is I'm not 100% sure how he's related to these people. All of Wanda's listed children are doing well. They're insurance agents, they own reality companies, they all seem to have nice houses and happy marriages, and Shelia in particular seems to be doing very well. I'm pretty sure Terri and Kenny aren't his parents, and Ronnie and his wife sure don't look right.
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Okay never mind I figured it out.
I think Dalton is possibly adopted, or is the product of an affair. Donna and Ronnie were divorced, and list Dalton as their only child. Neither Ronnie nor Donna look like they have the melanin to make Dalton.
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Daltons father
Ronnie is on the left, with his
new wife and set of kids he isn't ashamed of (Even though he named his son Cash rotfl)
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Donna, who seems responsible for cursing the Colclasure name. She was the one who lived in the trailer that burnt down, and I suspect, was an accident Ronnie would like to forgot.
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That said, there's really not much I've found online about them.Ronnie has an insurance office and is into rodeos and letting his wife groom their daughter into a future buckle bunny. Donna seems to have possibly moved to Texas, but even looking around under her maiden name, I didn't find a lot. No huge rap sheets, they just seem like fairly average people.
It's really weird. He has a really seemingly nice family. Looking through all of their Facebooks and IGs, they seem like intelligent, normal people. They do things as a family frequently, and they have nice homes, and successful children. They go on vacations and have hobbies that aren't meth and sleeping in $500 vans. It's really kind of shocking that Kim doesn't have enough self awareness to realize that she's in a different caste than they are, and she needs to leave them alone. She's never going to be a part of that family. She has absolutely nothing to offer them. They've already written off Dalton, and at least he's apparently related to them. But Kim? Kim is joke fodder. Donna may have a slight bit more involvement, but even she clearly doesn't give a shit.
But there we have it. The only family worth a shit in the whole Sammieverse is somehow Daltons absentee fathers family.