Trashfire 5/23/2022 Gunt Goes to Portugal 2 - The Double Pounder

[Slimy Time]

If he gets through this trip without catching some hands, he's going to run around using it as a win, even though it's led to clear apt pictures of him looking like the saddest fat bastard sitting on a bench by himself, being the stereotypical fat American tourist.

 

[Tiger Jack]

Forrest Gunt

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Life is like a box of poopoo. You know what you’re gonna get but you keep eating anyway.

 

[Lolcow Farmer]

What really bothers me is that the Portuguese, like all latin people. are quite chill if you do not have a negative impact on their daily routine. Now imagine you take your infant children down the streets of Lisbon and you smell cheap cigar smoke followed by a deluge of hollerin' by an obese American. It must suck to live in a tourist destination.

 

[Trigger Me Timbers]

Has ralph given any formal reason why he’s back in Portugal?

Even if drink a fifth of turpentine and try to lower my IQ to the average kill stream viewer, I don’t get the appeal.

• Going back to Portugal kind of just reawakens all the Memes and jokes at Ralph’s expense about him getting beaten the fuck up.
• Ralph will stream less when he’s out in Portugal just by virtue of having to be quiet in his hotel room and not being able to host bombastic debates or anything crazy whiles sitting on a street bench.
• Makes him look like the biggest fucker on earth leaving a literal newborn and his wife who is completely alone with no one supporting her, America 1st by the way.

Or is the average Kill Stream viewer just that stupid and placated that they will just happily drool and clap to see ralph smoking a cigar outdoors and trying to take creep shots of women’s breasts?


I don’t wanna make any assumptions about this trip because the last Portugal trip I posted something along the lines of “nothing interesting will happen“ and boy was a fucking wrong. If he keeps trying to take creep shots of women’s breasts I’m pretty sure that’s some massive dude in a wife beater will beat the shit out of Ralph if he catches him streaming her chest to his 200 (ish, cozy numbers so…) live viewers.

 

[Exceptional individualist]

What are the chances he got that fresh new haircut so the pimps wouldn’t recognize him

 

[frari]

he'll get murdered this time.

 

[The Wokest]

there's no fucking way anything happens during this trip.

 

[A Logging Company]

Has ralph given any formal reason why he’s back in Portugal?

Even if drink a fifth of turpentine and try to lower my IQ to the average kill stream viewer, I don’t get the appeal.

• Going back to Portugal kind of just reawakens all the Memes and jokes at Ralph’s expense about him getting beaten the fuck up.
• Ralph will stream less when he’s out in Portugal just by virtue of having to be quiet in his hotel room and not being able to host bombastic debates or anything crazy whiles sitting on a street bench.
• Makes him look like the biggest fucker on earth leaving a literal newborn and his wife who is completely alone with no one supporting her, America 1st by the way.

Or is the average Kill Stream viewer just that stupid and placated that they will just happily drool and clap to see ralph smoking a cigar outdoors and trying to take creep shots of women’s breasts?


I don’t wanna make any assumptions about this trip because the last Portugal trip I posted something along the lines of “nothing interesting will happen“ and boy was a fucking wrong. If he keeps trying to take creep shots of women’s breasts I’m pretty sure that’s some massive dude in a wife beater will beat the shit out of Ralph if he catches him streaming her chest to his 200 (ish, cozy numbers so…) live viewers.

Here are the current theories going around as to why he decided to go back to Mooristan:

• Has business related to the last beating/purse robbery
• Was somehow triggered by a private call with Andy about the fight
• Own the ayylogs real good this time
• Get away from May and the baby
• Fuck underage whores

These are not mutually exclusive of course.

 

[MindYourSeabiscuits]

Something I thought about just now, isn't it illegal to make money while you're on a tourist visa in most countries? And wouldn't taking donations count as making money?

 

[Gondola Enjoyer]

A friend in high-school used to say you have to get your ass kicked to kick ass.
Soon Ralph will be unstoppable.

You get your skull shattered by bats to build up immunity against harder impacts. Five or so more Portugese beatdowns, and he'll be immune to any kind of blunt force.

 

[Slimy Time]

Or is the average Kill Stream viewer just that stupid and placated that they will just happily drool and clap to see ralph smoking a cigar outdoors and trying to take creep shots of women’s breasts?

Yes, the answer is yes.

 

[Squirrelcop]

• Get away from May and the baby

Yeah, I think thats the main reason. Babies cant be milked for revenue as long as it once was possible, plus kids are fucking annoying. Plus plus May is old news now that she gave birth, so new red meat has to be obtained, no matter how many purses he might get stolen on his Love Quest.

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

Abandoning your wife and kids to go on a solo holiday is pretty based, actually.

Respecting women, even your baby momma, is simpery of the highest order. In fact, you should only be nice to any woman in order to get sex.

That's just standard operating procedure. You understand?

Was the tweet you’re lampooning his defense against suicide baiting?

“If you say you’re gonna kill yourself to get pussy that’s actually badass.”

 

[Mr E. Grifter]

Was the tweet you’re lampooning his defense against suicide baiting?

“If you say you’re gonna kill yourself to get pussy that’s actually badass.”

He said if you simp for sex it's fine.

Yet, I'm pretty sure all people who simp do so because they want to have sex with the person in question, even if it is never going to happen - so Ralph's basically being fucking retarded yet again.

 

[verissimus]

there's no fucking way anything happens during this trip.

Never underestimate the rage pig.

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

He said if you simp for sex it's fine.

Yet, I'm pretty sure all people who simp do so because they want to have sex with the person in question, even if it is never going to happen - so Ralph's basically being fucking retarded yet again.

Ah I see so the guy who has made multiple blatant claims accusing others of simping and saying simping is what’s wrong with America is now ok with simping as he’s been caught simping. Funny.

 

[AGPinochet]

My opinion is that this trip is in his Pickled pig mind a way to own the ayy-hawgs, because to ralph going to a foreign country and not getting your ass kicked is somehow an achievement.

 

[Trigger Me Timbers]

• Was somehow triggered by a private call with Andy about the fight

This is possible, in the call Andy may of said something like "C'mon Ralph, everyone is calling you a weak chump since Portugal, you should fight me to prove them wrong!"

And Ralph in his drug addled mind desperately trying to not fight Andy took that as "If I go back, I can change public option!". Maybe he will have an off camera fight and say he found the "4 big Moorish men" who beat him up and kicked all there asses whiles smoking a cigar.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Lol this nigger couldn’t afford to fly business or first class. His broke ass flew COACH to Portugal



What a fucking loser. One of the perks of having the kind of income he claims to have is never having to fly coach. But you can’t buy counterfeit business class tickets from street sellers so he flew in cattle class. Or, in his case, pigpen class.

 

[WWE Champion]

I hope this time his Gucci glasses will stay in Portugual. Him beeing back in Portugual means he paid the hospital bill / had a traveller insurance I assume.