Trashfire 5/23/2022 Gunt Goes to Portugal 2 - The Double Pounder

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What will happen?

  • Nothing but 5-star days, a-logs BTFO stay mad.

    Votes: 272 24.9%
  • Beaten by another pimp of underage hookers. Purse and zirconia ring stolen.

    Votes: 251 23.0%
  • Monkeypox from gay pride parade.

    Votes: 143 13.1%
  • Arrested.

    Votes: 142 13.0%
  • Return to find out that his horse galloped away with ReRollRozy.

    Votes: 119 10.9%
  • 2-5.

    Votes: 164 15.0%

  • Total voters
    1,091
  • Poll closed .
I really hope Cog doesn’t do that. Knowing cog he would be such a sped that he would actually end up getting beaten up in Portugal.

The only IRL ahoggin’ I would not be angry at is if somebody would just shout “GUNT” while‘s streaming on the streets of Lisbon.. I have no idea why but I really think of somebody calling him Gunt in Portugal with a Portuguese accent would be really fucking funny.
And knowing ralph he would chimp out
When I got to the stream one of his bigger donators was on a call saying he did not think it was a good idea and I agree with you and him for a number of reasons.
 
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tfw you're famous shock jock muckraker gonzo journalist, globetrotting entertainer and playboy Ethan Ralph, and the local mamacitas of Portugal are mirin' your svelte physique

lisbonstare.jpg
 
I really hope Cog doesn’t do that. Knowing cog he would be such a sped that he would actually end up getting beaten up in Portugal.

The only IRL ahoggin’ I would not be angry at is if somebody would just shout “GUNT” while‘s streaming on the streets of Lisbon.. I have no idea why but I really think of somebody calling him Gunt in Portugal with a Portuguese accent would be really fucking funny.
And knowing ralph he would chimp out
Would he even know it if someone TTSed "I AM THE GUNT! KNEEL BEFORE ME AND TREMBLE!" in Portugese?
 
Going on holiday alone isn't that bad, it can be a lot of fun. I mean when you have a newborn and fiance at home that you never take anywhere however it's pretty shitty. The thing with gunt going on holiday alone is, he's not being adventurous or exploring and having fun, he's eating fast food and sitting on his ass seething on twitter and reading kiwi farms, that's pathetic.
If you're going on a trip by yourself you gotta either stay at the shittiest hostel you can find and spend the whole trip out drinking/clubbing with europoors you meet there or do some Thoreau shit and seek total isolation in nature. Ethan Ralph cannot do either of these vacations because he is so repulsive he would never be able to make friends at a hostel and there is not a bear-proof can on the market that can contain his massive fat gunt so he cannot safely camp in most of the US and Canada. He might be short enough that he could sleep in a bear-proof box that's bolted down to concrete but his, uhh, width and depth might present an issue.
 
If you're going on a trip by yourself you gotta either stay at the shittiest hostel you can find and spend the whole trip out drinking/clubbing with europoors you meet there or do some Thoreau shit and seek total isolation in nature. Ethan Ralph cannot do either of these vacations because he is so repulsive he would never be able to make friends at a hostel and there is not a bear-proof can on the market that can contain his massive fat gunt so he cannot safely camp in most of the US and Canada. He might be short enough that he could sleep in a bear-proof box that's bolted down to concrete but his, uhh, width and depth might present an issue.
You also need to be prepared to rape some swedes gf because the hostel you checked into was fake. Don't believe me? Look how dark your skin is. We know what those nostrils mean.
 
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He's not moving to the place that put him in the hospital within 72 hours of arrival last time, that's just stupid. He went back to Portugal because he had to for some reason. It can't be a good reason or it wouldn't be a secret.
Turns out you can strap a lot of heroin into that gunt bifurcation, and any drug sniffing dog that gets near it ends up vomiting.
 
Have we seen the five star hotel Ralph is staying in yet? I figured he’d be showing off his sweet ass accommodations to own the haters. He can only aimlessly waddle around with a selfie stick for so long.

No way he’d stay in some cheap shady air bnb with a shared bathroom again. Hotels are cheap af in Lisbon, so he must be at one of city’s five star hotels like The Four Seasons or Palácio Príncipe Real. Those places are a drop in the bucket to a successful $1k a day streamer like Ethan Ralph.
 
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