The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[RazorBackBacon]

It's not out of the realm of possibility after the foreclosure saga. That property is going to be dirt cheap and just sit there abandoned until god knows how long. We could have a Detroit situation where you can buy property for about $100 or whatever.

I know it's just throwing my money on a giant bonfire, but I still kinda want to do it. I'll turn it into an AirBnB for midwit New Yorkers who want a taste of the country life.

 

[Coccxys]

I know it's just throwing my money on a giant bonfire, but I still kinda want to do it. I'll turn it into an AirBnB for midwit New Yorkers who want a taste of the country life.

Fatten the alpacas up a bit, construct a large fire pit and get an assortment of bows, crossbows, spears etc. Turn it into a "kill and grill". Guaranteed people would pay to nail an alpaca in the face with a javelin and then grill it up.

 

[Temperance]

Another shot fired by Paul:

https://nitter.net/EntrancingStars/status/1529353172837277696#m
More confirmation that the FTM field serfs have left, I guess.


I took a look at the Tranch twitter account, but Penny hasn't posted on it in awhile. Some retweets a few days ago, but otherwise the last actual tweet (just some alpaca pictures) was on May 12th... Kind of curious.
I also couldn't help but wonder why he still has the Oglala Lakota grift tweet pinned.

Full thread: https://nitter.net/TenaciousRanch/status/1486781373541191686#m
Taking a look at the donation links makes it clear that this grift is truly dead.

The GFM is disabled (at only $7.6k of their original $50k goal): https://www.gofundme.com/f/mutual-aid-to-help-the-oglala-lakota
No one has bought anything from the Amazon Wishlist in forever (compare it today to a March archive - no change). Also, none of the items they added to the list on Jan 23rd were ever purchased.
That just leaves Penny's personal Paypal account...

Here's the last time they tweeted about the Oglala Lakota:

OK, so that at least explains why they disabled the GFM. They never bothered to make a new one though. Or update/remove the pinned grift tweet.

Anyway, my personal theory about all this is that Penny has mentally checked-out of the Tranch. I think he's trying to scrounge up however much cash he can manage by doing odd jobs and funneling any remaining grift money into his personal accounts - all in preparation to flee the Tranch sometime before winter (when shit will really hit the fan). If he's smart (lol), he would bail before Kevin returns from his UK trip. Unlikely, but it would be really funny.

 

[Ghostse]

Fatten the alpacas up a bit, construct a large fire pit and get an assortment of bows, crossbows, spears etc. Turn it into a "kill and grill". Guaranteed people would pay to nail an alpaca in the face with a javelin and then grill it up.

Sadly no "Tasty" rating.

Also, while the concept is solid, any alpacas on the tranch currently have been tainted by contact with the tranchers. The only real solution is to clense the site with nuclear fire and then near by set up a replica to educate everyone so these mistakes are not repeated.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Also, while the concept is solid, any alpacas on the tranch currently have been tainted by contact with the tranchers. The only real solution is to cleanse the site with nuclear fire and then near by set up a replica to educate everyone so these mistakes are not repeated.

 

[Oxyjen]

View attachment 3319891

 

[BoobWhiskers]

You know, was reading the hundred pages of uninterrupted autistic gun-related slapfighting going on in the thread about that awful Texas school shooting, and someone made an offhand comment of 'if you think hard, everybody knows a person or two who has some red flags'.

Is it bad that every single person who immediately sprung to mind is associated with the ranch?

 

[trickyzerg23]

I'll take my clocks but with Kevin in Bongland indefinitely, it would be a fantastic time for Penny and Jen to go out for a pack of smokes and never come back.

Penny's constipation prevents him from producing enough food for Jen to eat, though. They need a third.

 

[Open Window Maniac]

You know, was reading the hundred pages of uninterrupted autistic gun-related slapfighting going on in the thread about that awful Texas school shooting, and someone made an offhand comment of 'if you think hard, everybody knows a person or two who has some red flags'.

Is it bad that every single person who immediately sprung to mind is associated with the ranch?

No, because the Tranchers are the biggest flaggots ever.

 

[Old Fart]

Fatten the alpacas up a bit, construct a large fire pit and get an assortment of bows, crossbows, spears etc. Turn it into a "kill and grill". Guaranteed people would pay to nail an alpaca in the face with a javelin and then grill it up.

And if you shoot them with a Javelin, they're chopped and roasted in one go!

OK, so that at least explains why they disabled the GFM. They never bothered to make a new one though. Or update/remove the pinned grift tweet.

Updating their social media would be the daunting task of their Social Media Manager and we all know who that is, right?

 

[Cuckoman]

The land is cursed now, more dried up and fruitless than Haitian soil. They let the sparse greenery get eaten up and eroded the topsoil, replacing it with piles of alpaca shit so large they can be seen from Google Earth. The house has been fumigated with amhole and animal hoarding, along with the general roughness 6+ men can do to a place on the inside. I wouldn't want to be the one in charge of saving it.

The joke is on whoever is stuck with this burden. Either Fat Paul's mom or the bank.

The ashes from burning the house will replenish the soil.

 

[Open Window Maniac]

The ashes from burning the house will replenish the soil.

Salt would replenish the soil better than the ahses from the Tranch house.

 

[The Final Troondown]

Nah. Turn it into an actual alpaca rescue

nuke it from orbit

Spoiler

to improve the land

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

Salt would replenish the soil better than the ahses from the Tranch house.

Get Patrick Tomlinson on the line.

 

[Squirrelcop]

Buy the plot and turn it into Chad Ranch.

 

[Boris Blank's glass eye]

Buy the plot and turn it into Chad Ranch.

You'd have to spend decades to rehabilitate that land.

 

[Free the Pedos]

Make it a model farm for monogamous heterosexual trad couples to learn how to homestead.

 

[AnOminous]

Those seams are lumpier than a bowl of Nana's oatmeal. If the cosmetic shit looks this bad, how bad is everything behind the drywall?

I guarantee humidity is going to wreck that shit and they're going to end up with black mold and the house basically totaled.

You'd have to spend decades to rehabilitate that land.

Unfortunately it's not going to be these parasitic troons who do that, but the taxpayer out of whatever catastrophic superfund Colorado has for environmental remediation. These scum should be in prison for what they did to that land. Male prison.

In a ruder time, your neighbors would have tarred and feathered you for shit like that.

 

[Open Window Maniac]

In a more civilized time, your neighbors would have tarred and feathered you for shit like that.

FTFY

 

[Aunt Carol]

I know there's not going to be Tranny Waco and there's probably not going to be Tranny Jonestown.

If everyone leaves the Tranch but Penny and his wards, that barren land would be ideal to go slowly mad on. Building bizarre cement sculptures out in the desert--that's pretty much an American tradition. Penny has the can-do spirit and the outsider art skill level. He couldn't pull off a Coral Castle, but he's definitely got a Salvation Mountain in him.