You will never be a real slav. You have no ushanka, you have no borscht, you have no crippling alcohol addiction. You are a proto indo european twisted by kielbasa and pierogis into a mockery of nature's perfection.
You will never be a superpower. You have no modern army, you have no industrial base, you have no force projection. You are a kleptocracy twisted by oil money into a crude mockery of a functional country.
All the “validation” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back even irrelevant third worlders and your puppet states mock you.
Your parents, the Russian Empire and the Soviet Union are disgusted and ashamed of you, your “friends” laugh at your ghoulish appeals for help behind closed doors.
Other countries are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of historical evolution have allowed them to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency.
Even failed countries who “pass” look uncanny and unnatural to a functional country. Your school toilets are a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a desperate African warlord home with you, he’ll turn tail and bolt the second he gets a whiff of your hiv infected, abortion wound.
No amount of tainted vodka or krokodil will make you happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning you'll look in the mirror in the outhouse and tell yourself it’s going to be better, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like the Russian Winter, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.
Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll start military manoeuvres, invade a smaller country, fail miserably, and plunge into the cold abyss.
Your parents will look at you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to suffer the unbearable shame and disappointment of being associated with you.
They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your true name, somewhere between India and Pakistan, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a "local power" is buried there.
Your structures will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably a failed country.
This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.