Trashfire 5/23/2022 Gunt Goes to Portugal 2 - The Double Pounder

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What will happen?

  • Nothing but 5-star days, a-logs BTFO stay mad.

    Votes: 272 24.9%

  • Beaten by another pimp of underage hookers. Purse and zirconia ring stolen.

    Votes: 251 23.0%

  • Monkeypox from gay pride parade.

    Votes: 143 13.1%

  • Arrested.

    Votes: 142 13.0%

  • Return to find out that his horse galloped away with ReRollRozy.

    Votes: 119 10.9%

  • 2-5.

    Votes: 164 15.0%
  • Total voters
    1,091
  • Poll closed .
It kinda looked like ralph was lunging in for a low blow. Not only is he a pussy that can't defend himself, but he's a double pussy that goes for a sneaky nut-shot. His only form of self defense is hollering, either hollering over someone that's dunking on him in an argument or hollering for da poh-leese (aka real men) to come protect him from the consequence of his own retarded actions.

Ralph is seriously the greatest lolcow of all time, what did we do to deserve being this blessed?
 
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Trying to catch up because of course whenever Ralph does the dumbest shit live, you miss it.

Anyway, I'm amazed how much he's lying about the entire incident which was live streamed and archived.
  • Claims 2v1 - obviously not true since Cog is filming the entire thing
  • Claims it was an "ambush"- He attacked Cog first
  • Claims Cog's friend was waiting to ambush him behind him - Huge X
  • Claims Dan was wearing brass knuckles - video shows it's not the case
  • Claims "they" split some woman's head open -WTF? Ralph there is VIDEO of the entire thing, why are you lying like a lunatic?
  • Claims he "will" press charges - When? Why the fuck wouldn't he have done it when the police came? What is he waiting for?
  • Starts sperging about amd threatening Metokur almost immediately showing he has learned nothing from his mistakes
  • Has spent the last few hours reteweeting anyone who is on his side and blocking anyone who isn't. Great way to spend a vacation seething like a woman on twitter after you get the shit beat out of you
Then a few things that made Ralph look pathetic:
  • As other's have pointed out, Ralph has no idea how to fight other than running up to someone and calling them names, that seems to be the extent of his experience with "fights", he has no idea what to do and is not very good at what happens after that
  • He's so bad he doesn't try to protect his head from a single punch, he just sits there and takes it like a bitch (although to be fair he looked completely out of it during the first round of punches to the head)
  • He obviously thought "let's go bitch" and posturing would be enough to get him out of fights since it works when he does it online. Unfortunately for Ralph not how it works IRL
  • Again, like a bitch his only "attack" the entire fight (other than whatever he did to Cog to start the fight which was probably just shoving him) is to spit blood at Dan, talk about pathetic.
  • Ralph retweeting glamour shops of himself (while trying to hide the results of the fight in the original picture used for the shop) has to be one of the most womanly things he's done. No scratch that, this entire day reeks of estrogen, everyone knew Ralph was bitch made but now there is 100% confirmation and video evidence
At this rate if he really does try to go to Metokur's house he's likely to get shot by Jade (who let's face it, would be justified after all the threats he's made against her) or some other insane shit like that.
It's too bad this is Ralph's most enjoyable content, since he won't be able to keep it up for long before getting himself killed or seriously injured.
 
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KikeKiller1488 said:
cozy.tv

cozy.tv

A new home for livestreams
cozy.tv cozy.tv

Baked is watching Gunts beatdown
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The absolute state of his chat. Copium is a hell of a drug.
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Dr. Puncherillo said:
I now believe the gunt suffered from a rare species of toxoplasma. An autistic breed that can't get itself eaten, only the host beaten up. Probably contracted in Portugul and it has now rewired his brain to go back and catch hands.
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If you're right, hold on for the Shark fishing expedition. That may be the only way to get himself eaten but I could see it coming.

Automaton_Type_2B said:
Pantsu's twitter is COMPLETELY silent.
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Hard to load a U-Haul and tweet at the same time.

ThatDarnIrishMan said:
Ralph's twitter is pretty boring right now. It's literally just coping and retweeting his alt accounts saying "Was a 2 on 1 and they jumped him from behind with weapons. Not a fair fight."

Well, it's that or still crying about Jim. The only dude not really involved in this. Can't wait til he blames Gator for this somehow.
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I'm putting my bet on this being blamed on everyone who wished him a happy birthday on New York local television. So we'll get Null and Flam too at least.




On a completely separate note, I feel we could cast this out as a trailer park boys episode at this point.

Jim is Julian
Ralph is Cyrus
People like Cog and Jesse are a revolving Cory and Trevor

Any thoughts on a Ricky, Lahey and/or Randy? Or any others I don't have
 
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Does this mean that Porktugal III is incoming? And the inevitable Porktugal IV, V, VI... etc after he gets beaten up each time
 
Fools Idol said:
During these shit shows I like to find music that is thematically appropriate. My proposal is Life on Mars by David Bowie. Sing along fellow alogs:

It's a God-awful small affair
To the girl with the mousy hair
But her mummy is yelling, "No"
And her daddy has told her to go

But her friend is nowhere to be seen
Now she walks through her sunken dream
To the seat with the clearest view
And she's hooked to the silver screen

But the film is a saddening bore
For she's lived it ten times or more
She could spit in the eyes of fools
As they ask her to focus on

Sailors fighting in the dance hall
Oh man, look at those cavemen go
It's the freakiest show
Take a look at the lawman
Beating up the wrong guy
Oh man, wonder if he'll ever know
He's in the best selling show
Is there life on Mars?

It's on America's tortured brow
That Mickey Mouse has grown up a cow
Now the workers have struck for fame
'Cause Lennon's on sale again
See the mice in their million hordes
From Ibiza to the Norfolk Broads
Rule Britannia is out of bounds
To my mother, my dog, and clowns
But the film is a saddening bore
'Cause I wrote it ten times or more
It's about to be writ again
As I ask you to focus on

Sailors fighting in the dance hall
Oh man, look at those cavemen go
It's the freakiest show
Take a look at the lawman
Beating up the wrong guy
Oh man, wonder if he'll ever know
He's in the best selling show
Is there life on Mars?

Five star day king, Never change Ralph.
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I personally like Bowie's "Five years" for Ethan, as that's all he's got.
 
Yagrum Bagarn said:
And usually they're gigantic genetic clusterfucks thanks to all of the cousin fucking and their parents breeding with similar genetic abortions. We built ourselves up, distinguished ourselves from the British physically, mentally, and culturally but we have these groups of pure trash that are breeding themselves back to what we strove to hard to get away from for so long.

And don't think that these inbred trailer trash fuckwits are liked in the South, we hate them more than most. We have to deal with white trailer trash and ghetto niggers all the time and consider them to be equal to each other.
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Ghetto niggers tend to be pretty inbred too, given they spend their lives in the same hoods and no one knows who their dad is, you end up with a bunch of half siblings and half cousins producing retarded spawn who go on to repeat the cycle.

Which adds to your point about niggers and trailer trash being functionally similar. I've lived in the South for a time and can agree with that probably like 90%. They aren't identical but are very similar in their behaviors.
 
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Insanely Retarded said:
Again, like a bitch his only "attack" the entire fight (other than whatever he did to Cog to start the fight which was probably just shoving him) is to spit blood at Dan, talk about pathetic
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Congratulations, Ralph is going to respond to your KF comment specifically in the next killstream and liken himself to Rocky or some other father analog
 
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