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My SO's dog is getting put down today and the entire family is a wreck. From what I understand there's an excess of fluids in his lungs that's basically making him slowly drown, plus he's 15 which just makes everything worse and the chance of recovery is near zero. I'm doing my best to be good moral support since I recently lost a dog myself last month, but I always feel like I don't have the right words. All I can do is say that I'm here. (:_(
 
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I lost another snake of mine. She was 17 and got to a point where she wasn’t eating on her own and was too dangerous to force feed.

My SO's dog is getting put down today and the entire family is a wreck. From what I understand there's an excess of fluids in his lungs that's basically making him slowly drown, plus he's 15 which just makes everything worse and the chance of recovery is near zero. I'm doing my best to be good moral support since I recently lost a dog myself last month, but I always feel like I don't have the right words. All I can do is say that I'm here. (:_(

My cat died and I feel like shit.
Peace, kiggers. Lost a couple of fur balls myself back in the day. Friends, family and fur balls- it never gets easy.


Almost passed out on the sidewalk today because of the thing from yesterday. I had to find someplace and hack up things from my lungs that no human being should have in there and wait until I could see color again.
When you got to the hospital some hospitals will bug your cell phone with requests to fill out a survey. Usually I will ignore crap like that. But after today I opened up and I let both barrels loose and reloaded enough that I felt I had to screen shot my comments lest the authorities take a look at me. The medical community is a combination of corrupt and incompetent in many places now, and I'd sooner trust a used car salesman over a junker than some bald headed skinny faggot in a pair of scrubs.

At least I got to gorge on some really damn good pizza today. Another special deal at a local grocery store. The pizza was usually nastily priced, but because of Memorial Day they are desperate to move it. It's great stuff, so good it's amazing so the dungeon freezer is full again. Only put hot sauce on one piece to kill my bad mood.
 
The more I reflect at work and during my commute the more I resent my family. I rebelled, but they were extremely strict and basically wanted me to be a nu-male and not criticize the government. Missed out on spending a summer with my close friends including teenage crushes when I was much younger because they smoked weed and family went through messages and sent me to grandparents for example, three of the girls have since done professional modelling.

They want me to date single moms, volunteer for Ukraine, and get offended that I'm anti-refugee. I kind of expected it to work out, but now I'm coming to realize that I missed out on some great experiences because the TV said so.
 
Got my MRI back on my coccyx/sacrum and it uh, looks kind of fucked but I'm not a doctor. Waiting for the orthopedic surgeon to call and lay it out for me. Am being supplied with the right pain meds for the time being thanks to him, so the pain only half makes me want to die instead of fully, and that's a blessing.

Hope everyone else is having a good day for me ♡
 

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pretty annoyed at the reviews i see on GPUs recently
bitch i know prices are too much but don't fucking mention it or at least include some defect or evidence of poor quality for it to be a one star
 
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there is no such thing as hate crime laws in my state for gay, lesbian or bisexual people, Pretty funny amirite? That's pretty fucking scary, actually.
Police won't do shit unless you're black, so it doesn't matter.
 
Made the wrong decision for my elderly rat today.

[Slight but relevant digression: I don't know exactly how old she is because of my habit of collecting secondhand rats (indeed, she is thirdhand) but she has to be at least three, maybe even three and a half, which makes her very elderly indeed. One of the signs of extremely elderly rats is that just like humans, they sometimes go a bit doddery. In her case, she developed an extreme dislike of leaving her cage, despite being an adventurer in her younger years, and me carrying her even a couple metres away from the cage became upsetting for her. She even gradually began refusing to eat outside the cage, which made life difficult when her jaw muscles went and I had to supplement her diet with soft foods. I had to lock her cagemates away in their carry basket until she was done eating, otherwise they'd mercilessly mug her for her dinner.]

So this morning when I checked her I saw the unmistakable signs of respiratory failure I had two choices: one, I could take her to the vet and have her euthanised, which would be a faster death but highly distressing for her because it'd involve taking her out of the cage, or two, leave her be and let her make her own exit. I chose two, and it was the wrong decision, because she's lingering a lot longer than I thought she would and she's in a lot of pain.

I've checked and there is a 24 hour vet a couple suburbs over. Guess I'll take her in. It's not what she wants but at least it'll be faster.
 
Bad news / good news blog post.

Bad news - Had to try to go someplace today. Health condition is so bad I got 4 minutes away from home and had to go back. I'm... not good. I'll make it, but I am reverting back to the early days of this illness and I'm past the point of, "Nottu thisu shittu againu."

Good news - - Haven't said much about it in a long time, but I JUST FINISHED CATALOGING THAT JEW / DEM PEDO PROJECT STUFF! Thousands and thousands of pieces, over 420 folders... I'M DONE AND DON'T HAVE TO DO MUCH UNLESS MORE COMES IN! I'M FREE!
I hate you dems and jews so gosh damn much. There's a few repubs here and there, but you sick ass satan's crowd- I hate you do damn much.
I have my last special thing to dump in a fun folder. I thought I'd share it. It's good- no worries.



And a little celebratory music. I've been jamming for a while and feel the weight of so much evil off of me. I feel dirty knowing these people aren't hanging from trees right now. I'm free.
Please indulge my elation. I'm seriously close to tears right now. My black heart might turn red again someday.
 
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