- Joined
- Sep 17, 2021
Maybe Jim will just call the cops and Gunt will get George Floyd'd.
Trashfire 5/23/2022 Gunt Goes to Portugal 2 - The Double Pounder
- Thread starter bonusmp3
- Start date
-
🐕 I am attempting to get the site runnning as fast as possible. If you are experiencing slow page load times, please report it.
- Joined
- Sep 13, 2019
Possibly the funniest thing to come from this entire experience was me showing my coworker the fight vid yesterday and then trying to speedrun explaining Ralph to him. His exact words were "this can't be a real person, right?".
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
It's amazing how many real people are so completely ridiculous that they'd be completely unbelievable as fictional characters. You'd be like "you gotta be shitting me."
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2019
Ralph has the potential to eclipse chris chan in the annals of lolcow-dom (and he may have already started).
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
- Joined
- Sep 13, 2019
My entire life has been magnetically attracting fucking bizarre people but Ralph is truly spectacular.
- Joined
- Feb 28, 2019
Ralph is 5' 7"?
He's at least 350. Probably closer to 400. I would not be surprised at all to find he's gone past the 400 level, but that's when the problems standing upright and walking start appearing. However alcohol can turn that around (as in, you won't feel the pain as your spine starts to break apart), and if you're in shape, you probably can handle it. Think Ralph takes long walks around the trailer park at night or hits the gym to stay in shape?
Also, fun fact, Ralph is about 20-50 pounds away from needing one of these:
Or maybe his eternal fiancee wipes his ass for him. Who knows?
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
He can't out-do Chris unless he digs up his mom and fucks her.
- Joined
- Jun 12, 2021
Next thing we know ralph is going to start posting doctor notes about how he won fights.
- Joined
- Sep 13, 2019
Ralph is 5'3" TOPS. My guess is he probably weighs around 280. Remember, muscle weighs more than fat and this nigga has ZERO muscle. He could probably use the wiping wand though. When I saw that he doesn't wear underwear in the fight video, it made total sense. Those manties would be a fucking mess because you know damn well this fuck can't wipe for shit and is a legit animal who wouldn't invest in a bidet.
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
Could there be a Faces of, may Allah forgive me for saying the word, Gamergate where we do before and afters?
Before Gamergate.
After Gamergate.
Before Gamergate.
After Gamergate.
Dafrunk89
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 7, 2018
- Joined
- Jun 12, 2021
I love the constant sperging and all the autism pics about his height where they measure him to bowling balls, grills, rims, hats, soda bottles, etc.. I hope those continue. But ralph posted that video long ago standing in a door frame with a measuring tape taped to the wall to show he was 5'11'' without showing the actual measuring tape touching the ground. However he forgot you can measure from the top down since he was standing in a standard 80'' door frame, it showed he was 5'3''/5'4''
Of all the things Ralph should be insecure about his height is the weirdest one IMO, although I'm not a manlet so maybe it really is that psychologically taxing.
- Joined
- Jan 9, 2020
OMG "Whistleblower" in the report?
Oh man, let's get a Senate hearing for our beloved victimized "whistleblower" Ethan Ralph.
Oh, that's just too good. Is whistleblower Portuguese for "Fat ass that blows smoke"?
Oh man, let's get a Senate hearing for our beloved victimized "whistleblower" Ethan Ralph.
Oh, that's just too good. Is whistleblower Portuguese for "Fat ass that blows smoke"?
- Joined
- Sep 13, 2019
As a tall fellow, I've had manlets legit rage at me for no reason other than they're tiny. It's confusing. These little tiny fellas should embrace the fact that they don't have to go out of their way and spend stupid money on size 16 shoes or ever get popped in the chops by a low hanging ceiling fan. Sure, they have to ask an actual man for stuff on the top shelf but w/e.
I don't follow Ralph much, mostly just turn up when he gets beaten up. If he'd just walked away or called them idiots people like me wouldn't even know he was in Portugal or who the fuck Cog is, and his pride would've been much more intact. But he couldn't, his ego and poor impulse control meant he had to guntcharge them and then get slapped down.
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2020
If you told a normal person Ralph's portugal stories they would think you were bullshitting them.
- Joined
- Nov 3, 2016
wtf bros Ralph is blowing the whistle on two right wing british patriots to have them thrown into jail? Pretty snakish if you ask me.....
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
I believe that "whistle" is Portugese for an extremely large and dark penis, and "blower" means what it obviously says.
I made that up just now but I'm sure it's true.
- Joined
- Feb 1, 2020
This is his most Chris-like aspect.
When I'm autistically describing CWC to people, I always have to interrupt myself because there is so many details and events. It's easy to forget to mention something that provides context to a future event and easy to ramble.
This same thing happens when I talk to someone about Ralph now.
I know it's a pseudo-joke that he's the new Chris, but he's really just a modern day version, with more wigger and less autism.
- Joined
- Aug 5, 2021
How does the Ralph timeline check out in terms of before and after CWC’s arrest? Did his lolcowness pick up afterwards? If so I’m convinced he caught some kind of It Follows-esque curse from CWC. Maybe he just needs to find someone else to pass it to.