🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[MeltyTW]

Surely declaring that hatred for your child’s family is your “fuel for life” will persuade a judge to give you unsupervised visitation, Gunty. Keep it up, genius!

through the fucking glass like a hannibal lecter child molester lmfao . this is ralphs reality.

 

[AltisticRight]

It's stunning how Nicky Rackets is better at literally everything than Ralph is. He's raising his large brood with his faithful wife in a large house he bought them while streaming to tens of thousands of people.

Meanwhile Ralph's only son doesn't even bear his name.

Well, Nicky isn't good at being fat, short, a drug addict, an alcoholic, and he has no verified bird account. Total RALPHAMALE victory.

 

[Hyacinth Bucket (Bouquet)]

Well, Nicky isn't good at being fat, short, a drug addict, an alcoholic, and he has no verified bird account. Total RALPHAMALE victory.

That's true. I guess he'll have to close his both-focusing eyes and cry himself to sleep on a pile of money.

Oh, there's another thing Rackets has that Ralph never will: Metokur's respect.

 

[AltisticRight]

That's true. I guess he'll have to close his both-focusing eyes and cry himself to sleep on a pile of money.

Oh, there's another thing Rackets has that Ralph never will: Metokur's respect.

Absolutely, and he pays more taxes too.
How can Nick recover?

 

[Blewberry Nausea]

He was ashamed he lived and leeched off of her his entire life so he would never mention her. Then she goes and dies once he abandons her for his dear Pantsu.

Now that she’s dead, and doesn’t need rides to dialysis, he can safely promote her to sainted status.

We all know Ralph called Sandra x10 worse names than Vickers ever did and nobody could ever hurt Sandra like her own son did.

If I ever have to question my value in life I can look at Ethan Ralph and know the grandfather of my son never said he would probably be better off if I were dead because I valued taking off on trip leaving my kid and wife alone so I could go have ‘five star days‘ getting shit faced and felted while having a front butt and carrying a murse because I hated my own life that much. It is almost like he provides a service to the dregs of society so they others don’t have to feel so shitty. Except nope he just is like that naturally.

ETA Holy shit I didn’t even have the whole story this wasn’t even about Rozy but his other kid Xander who he isn’t even supporting and didn’t get shit for his first birthday but kiwis did! The absolute fucking state you gunt tard! I know you are reading this too you shithead you are the garbagiest father. Kill yourself!

 

[Dr Doctor]

Saying he wont take care of his children because a fictional character wouldn't is amongst the most pathetic shit Ralph has posted.

 

[PaladinBoo]

Ralph is a little cranky about all the corn and kiwi toys Lil Xannie got for his birthday:
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For posterity, the rant in question:
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For as much peacocking and posturing that Vickers does he is right on this. Ralph you got your son nothing for his first birthday. Instead you went out and took a several thousand dollar vacation in Portugal. As @AltisticRight says, you could have easily gotten a W out of this. All you had to do was send either cash or a Walmart gift card for a 100 bucks or so. What would the Vickers do? Between the baby food shortage and inflation they would be forced to accept and use your gift. If they didn't they would have looked like petty and dumb assholes. But no, instead you bitch on Twitter like a teenage girl or tranny about how evil the Vickers are for accepting gifts that the Farms sent for your son.

PS. Hope Xander likes the nightlight I got him for his birthday. More then what you will ever give your son.

 

[3322]

For as much peacocking and posturing that Vickers does he is right on this. Ralph you got your son nothing for his first birthday. Instead you went out and took a several thousand dollar vacation in Portugal. As @AltisticRight says, you could have easily gotten a W out of this. All you had to do was send either cash or a Walmart gift card for a 100 bucks or so. What would the Vickers do? Between the baby food shortage and inflation they would be forced to accept and use your gift. If they didn't they would have looked like petty and dumb assholes. But no, instead you bitch on Twitter like a teenage girl or tranny about how evil the Vickers are for accepting gifts that the Farms sent for your son.

PS. Hope Xander likes the nightlight I got him for his birthday. More then what you will ever give your son.

He doesn't actually care about Xander, this is all about his grudge with the Vickers. The only reason he even wants visitation is because he would consider it a win over the Vickers and something that would piss them off. He has no interest in providing for either of his children, he never even set up a nursery for Rozy, Meigh's parents had to throw her a baby shower and buy her baby-shit like a carseat and bassinet because Ralph couldn't be assed.

He doesn't think about getting Xander a gift that would make Xander happy or something that could be useful in taking care of his son, he probably hasn't had a single thought like "is Xander happy?" "is Xander safe?" "are they taking good care of him?" he only thinks "if I get Xander a gift then Faith or Vickers could use it to get a win against me". Ralph is a horrible narcissist who has no empathy for his own children.

 

[Blue Miaplacidus]

Meigh's parents had to throw her a baby shower and buy her baby-shit like a carseat and bassinet because Ralph couldn't be assed.

This is something I think a lot of people don't think about. Pantsu had to last minute post a baby registry to her twitter and literally beg ralphs audience for baby things, and then had to drive while 9 months pregnant alone to her parents to get the fucking essentials. He literally didn't get rozy anything except for a fucking stupid ass onsie to commemorate his first lisbon beatdown. Abandons his first kid, and could give a fuck about the second, unless of course it's to grift on the bird app. Despicable.

 

[3322]

This is something I think a lot of people don't think about. Pantsu had to last minute post a baby registry to her twitter and literally beg ralphs audience for baby things, and then had to drive while 9 months pregnant alone to her parents to get the fucking essentials. He literally didn't get rozy anything except for a fucking stupid ass onsie to commemorate his first lisbon beatdown. Abandons his first kid, and could give a fuck about the second, unless of course it's to grift on the bird app. Despicable.

I bet Rozy still doesn't have a real nursery, I'm sure we would have seen pictures of it by now cause he would show it off. Hell the last picture we saw from inside their house was Meigh on a bunch of dirty pillows with no covers. Xander lives a million times better than Rozy ever will and that is with no support from Ralph whatsoever. He can't even take care of the baby that lives in his house.

 

[Blue Miaplacidus]

I bet Rozy still doesn't have a real nursery, I'm sure we would have seen pictures of it by now cause he would show it off. Hell the last picture we saw from inside their house was Meigh on a bunch of dirty pillows with no covers. Xander lives a million times better than Rozy ever will and that is with no support from Ralph whatsoever. He can't even take care of the baby that lives in his house.

Oh she definitely doesn't have a bedroom 100% "she's just an infant she don't need a room". Besides their shitbox is so small with ralph's bootleg streaming studio there's legit no room left, except for tucking her away in this little crawl space.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Saying he wont take care of his children because a fictional character wouldn't is amongst the most pathetic shit Ralph has posted.

Ralph seemed to have ignored the part that Don provided full time domestic help for his wife Betty. There was a woman who watched the kids, cleaned house and helped with meal prep six days a week in the Draper home. When Don left Betty at home he did so knowing she had full-time domestic help and plenty of money.

Ralph just likes to focus on the character flaws of fictional characters because that’s all he ever has in common with them.

If Ralph had taken lessons from his favorite fictional character Tony Soprano he would have taken care of his mother, gotten married, had legitimate children and known how to fight.

If he wanted to be like Don Draper he’d need to be a combat veteran, lose weight, work out, be handsome af, and have a successful career. But instead Ralph will decide that fictional Don Draper wouldn’t worry about leaving his girlfriend and two month old daughter “for no particular reason.” vacay instead.

 

[smellybutthole]

KRIST IS KYANG BIATCH!

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

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KRIST IS KYANG BIATCH!

Ralph cleverly wins another internet beef with sound logic and quick wit.

 

[McSchlomo]

"Scared of stuffed birds and rattling corn".
As smug and self-fulfilling that response was, ole'Vicky sure knows how to sodomise the rage pig dry.

Ralph, you bought your son absolutely nothing. I'm absolutely sure the Vickers would appreciate a $100 Walmart gift card, that will also give you bragging rights, think about it. Vickers threatened to throw whatever you gave Xander away, and piss on your dead mum's portrait framed in the most expensive Chinese dorrah store piece of shit frame. How would you own them? Digital gift cards, what are they gonna do, not fucking use it? They'll look completely retarded, especially with all the baby food shortages and inflation going on.

Holy fuck, you can even write in an email, something along the lines of:

Vickers would look like a cunt for bashing your mum to the ground (not that she can burn beyond the depths of Hell) and all his retarded antics would make him look like a jerk.

But no, you're gonna cry about plushies. Grow the fuck up, this is so embarrassing.

This is so true. There are so many small wins he could regularly score, even with the people in this forum, where he could at least get "us" to admit "ok that was pretty good". Especially considering the massive turboretards he is usually up against. I actually even think he is smart enough to think that himself, its just that that gets entirely overwritten by all his other personality traits.

On a related note, Hot take: I actually don't think Ralph is particularly stupid. He just has a shit ton of problems (inside and out) that completely kill off any clever thought he ever has before it gets to the part of his brain that would result in any action.

Thats not to say I think he is smart either, to be clear.

Am I being too rainbowy with that thought?

 

[RollerGator]

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KRIST IS KYANG BIATCH!

I hope one day Ralph is struck by lightning and we can have an Ethan Ralph vs God Almighty thread.

 

[ComedyEnjoyer]

On a related note, Hot take: I actually don't think Ralph is particularly stupid. He just has a shit ton of problems (inside and out) that completely kill off any clever thought he ever has before it gets to the part of his brain that would result in any action.

Thats not to say I think he is smart either, to be clear.

Am I being too rainbowy with that thought?

I tend to agree honestly, we saw Ralph before he destroyed himself and he was capable of thought - he's just melted his brain on various drugs since then. Which honestly it why he's such a great cow. He's no bumbling idiot, he has the intellect to really put into motion the terrible terrible ideas that his drug and booze soaked brain tells him to do. Truly stupid people aren't nearly as proactive at self destruction.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

This is something I think a lot of people don't think about. Pantsu had to last minute post a baby registry to her twitter and literally beg ralphs audience for baby things, and then had to drive while 9 months pregnant alone to her parents to get the fucking essentials. He literally didn't get rozy anything except for a fucking stupid ass onsie to commemorate his first lisbon beatdown. Abandons his first kid, and could give a fuck about the second, unless of course it's to grift on the bird app. Despicable.

Ralph still has the baby registry pinned to the top of Pantsu’s Twitter asking for randos to buy things “for their little one due in April”. Pathetic.

Ralph needs to fuck with Jesse again to get May some much needed diapers dropped off while he’s on vacay.

 

[UnLimiTed-Lbs]

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KRIST IS KYANG BIATCH!

I love that someone made a valid point about asking god for guidance and forgiveness, something that a normal Christian would do, and Ralph immediately lost his shit because it goes against his vendetta.

 

[AltisticRight]

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KRIST IS KYANG BIATCH!

This is so pathetic. Instead of praying for his son to have a good birthday and good health (he needs it, 50% are Ralphagenes) or wish his angelic stallion to have its paedophilic demons exorcised, he's going to pull this kind of Blasphemous diatribe. I'm sure your prayers at that shrine with the same name as your ex-wife Fatima Nora will be answered, the rage pig that commits every sin in the book on a daily basis. I hope you get struck by lightning and it's streamed.

Thats not to say I think he is smart either, to be clear.

Am I being too rainbowy with that thought?

He could have turned around and asked Cog and Dan to have lunch together, then goad them into admitting they got donations to fly over and follow him around like flies to faeces and call that "kind of sad, there's better things to do". Cog will get a fucking thread here and people will mock him for being on the dole while spending $100 to fly to a foreign city and waste time.

But no, he must weaponise his gunt and get thrown to the Lisbon pavement 4 times like a game of whack'a'mole, have his pig head assaulted relentlessly as he spits his plaguepig slime out like a fat octorock.