DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[Grammatik]

Him being gay explains that. He just said he thinks boobs are disgusting

Gays don't find boobs disgusting. Closeted frustrated declawed machoor adults who hope to "make love" with John Rambo (remember that gem ?) do.

 

[SkippyLongbottom]

I mean the only variable here is when he got with Kat that he become a eunuch and I suspect boobs are fuckin gross to him now because she's flat as a washboard and he really wants to keep her around.

Dude owned several titty statues and was still a perverted slob with Leanna but also could have been playing it up even then to come off super-heterosexual-totally-love-woman type. Now he's commenting on men's physique every chance he gets and uses Kat as a beard.

He's just a strange fucking individual and he seems to not be able to find the right middle ground or balance with this so my thoughts are he's just a closet homosexual. *Maybe he hasn't actually come to terms with his sexuality because he's been stuck as an immature stunted middle schooler.

 

[DukeMorty]

I mean, your bar must be lower than the Mariana Trench if you think Phil is worth being jealous over.

Kat isn’t a scorned battle axe. More like a dull rusty prison shiv. Phil is just fat, lazy, alcoholic, etc. There’s no testosterone there.

It is not about thinking he is attractive but more about the greed of having something, in this case someone, all to yourself in which no one can get. The thing is girls and guys can be possessive of their significant others because a person who is taken can be an attractive quality which makes the bf/gf be jealous. It's weird but its like the old saying " you want what you cant have" even if it is a fat slob like Phil.

I had exs that were like that for no reason, they knew I had no interest in the other person, but the thought that another girl was getting my attention pissed them off. Ironically, it can be a one way street where you cannot talk to any girl but they can flirt with whoever they want. Those relationships are toxic and is why I recommend anyone in those to break it off because it leads nothing but trouble.

That being said we know nothing about Phils and Kats relationship, just based on stuff he says on stream and we dug up on her. Even so we can't say Kat is this and that unless you are there behind the scenes seeing how they treat each other. You think she is a wet blanket because of the few times she was on stream, but she could have been nervous on stream because its some random idiots talking/making fun of her. But off camera she could be this tyrant of a bitch that whips Phil. Again, I have seen and experienced girls like this, shy in a group but alone with them they become total cunts.

Not saying the closeted gay theory is a bad one, it has some ground. But in my opinion he is whipped by Kat. You don't have to be physically/emotionally attracted to somebody to be jealous over someone, its all about possessing that person and owning them like a wolverine toy.

 

[Optimus Prime]

It is not about thinking he is attractive but more about the greed of having something, in this case someone, all to yourself in which no one can get. The thing is girls and guys can be possessive of their significant others because a person who is taken can be an attractive quality which makes the bf/gf be jealous. It's weird but its like the old saying " you want what you cant have" even if it is a fat slob like Phil.

I had exs that were like that for no reason, they knew I had no interest in the other person, but the thought that another girl was getting my attention pissed them off. Ironically, it can be a one way street where you cannot talk to any girl but they can flirt with whoever they want. Those relationships are toxic and is why I recommend anyone in those to break it off because it leads nothing but trouble.

That being said we know nothing about Phils and Kats relationship, just based on stuff he says on stream and we dug up on her. Even so we can't say Kat is this and that unless you are there behind the scenes seeing how they treat each other. You think she is a wet blanket because of the few times she was on stream, but she could have been nervous on stream because its some random idiots talking/making fun of her. But off camera she could be this tyrant of a bitch that whips Phil. Again, I have seen and experienced girls like this, shy in a group but alone with them they become total cunts.

Not saying the closeted gay theory is a bad one, it has some ground. But in my opinion he is whipped by Kat. You don't have to be physically/emotionally attracted to somebody to be jealous over someone, its all about possessing that person and owning them like a wolverine toy.

I think it's safe to say that there is no real relationship there, Phil just has her around and is legally married to her (if even that, they had the wedding but was the paperwork ever filled out?) more just as a one-up on Panda as well as self-affirmation that he's successful (also because Panda wrenched herself away and Phil will never get over it) while Kat largely doesn't need to do anything except part time jobs for more spending cash while she is functionally just Phil's roommate.

 

[KingjadVCMP]

@KingjadVCMP This is pretty fire

Soon as I heard that bastard say those words my mind immediately went to that song. Had to make it happen. Worth the copyright claim, some things just need to be done.

 

[Chief Nigwelfacheqee]

Gotta chase that clout

 

[Sup3r]

Gotta chase that clout

It's 2022 and Philip burnell has no idea how to hand online trolling. Everything you have said still applies to his dumbass. Every time he says anything that makes any kind of sense, he ruins it by being something that he actively does the opposite of.

 

[PieceofShet]

Gotta chase that clout

Aahh yes... DSP knows how to make anything about himself.

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

Aahh yes... DSP knows how to make anything about himself.

Will he bring out the old chestnut that is "making fun of my gout is worse than racism?"

 

[RaidenAUndertale]

Yes Phil. I'm sure DISNEY could learn a thing or two from you.

 

[Balr0g]

Yes Phil. I'm sure DISNEY could learn a thing or two from you.

Disney could teach him a thing or two about loosing financial privileges

 

[Iron Hamster]

Gotta chase that clout

Why are you trolling Screen Rant Phail?

 

[DeeTracktor]

Yes Phil. I'm sure DISNEY could learn a thing or two from you.

Pretending you are in financial difficulty and physically disbaled to beg for money...

Nah, sorry Phil, late to the party again

 

[SauceRyuKen]

I mean, your bar must be lower than the Mariana Trench if you think Phil is worth being jealous over.

Kat isn’t a scorned battle axe. More like a dull rusty prison shiv. Phil is just fat, lazy, alcoholic, etc. There’s no testosterone there.

He is a succesful scammer. He makes six figures a year and lives in his own place. He doesn't even want to fuck his soulmaid. Let's face it, to some extremely low tier women, Phil is an absolute catch. I'm surprised he doesn't get propositioned by young, hot Russian gold diggers 24/7. Surely this fact doesn't escape Khet, so it's not about Phil the unstoppable Chad who needs to be kept on a short leash because otherwise he'll swiftly impregnate every fertile available woman within sight. Phil is no Ralphamale. It's about making sure Phil the Sugardaddy only sugars for Khet.

Spoiler: Kat and Phil's relationship and the point of their marriage

The supposed line he fed her was "I'm a sad but loaded alcoholic who's going through a rough breakup and I need a good woman in my life" according to SubaruJeff. In spite of Phil making a theatre of cleaning up his act, giving up booze and gacha for a while, it seems like he had her settle for the old "I used to be an alcoholic, now I just drink a lot" and "I used to be a gacha addict, now I just ocasionally top the leaderboards" endings. The fact that she took it in stride speaks for itself. She doesn't give a fuck about Phil other than as a sugardaddy.

Problem is, what's keeping him from feeding that line to someone younger and hotter? Kat's got two jobs in this relationship: Be a beard and heat up microwave tendies. Literally anyone can do that. Conversely, this means that being Dark's beard is a sweet gig. Of course she's gonna be crazy possessive, like she was with SubaruJeff. The pigroach is her gold digging masterpiece, she's never going to get it as good.

This is a woman who failed to be an e-girl, has been a couch surfer, is on happy pills, has court appearances, a ton of baggage, is over 30, works dead end jobs, is fat, boring, unattractive AND sex averse. I know the memes about woman's unrealistic dating aspirations but the dating pool for a woman like Kat is more of a dating puddle. Realistically, she could maybe aim for petty criminals or ugly blue collar dudes as long as she was willing to put out on demand. With her looks and personality, her chances to date up are nil.

Meanwhile, she gets fun money and endless takeaway with Phil, doesn't have to do house chores, doesn't have to put out, and doesn't have to do jack shit other than play Skyrim and maybe work a part time job on someone else's utility tab.

However if he does so much as look at other women she's gonna be insecure as fuck. She knows she brings nothing to his life than a younger, hotter, prettier girl couldn't, possibly at half the price. I'm definitely not saying all modern relationships are about money or what you bring to the table, but their's just happens to be. It was always, always transactional.

She's gotta be a very low maintenance maid or she risks losing it all, and she's fine with that, but she'll have his balls on a dining platter if he dares even think about switching soulmaids. That is when she'd actually divorce him and try to take him to the cleaners. That is why she made him put a ring on it. You want to claim you're a mature adult with a full time girlfriend? Cool. I want insurance. Let's negotiate. Obviously, the main point of getting married wasn't love. It was trying to coerce some money out of Papa and Mama Roach and making sure Kat was set. Now, she can do whatever she wants: Get fat, ignore Phil, get massive amounts of side dick as long as she's not caught in 4K... She's basically hit the Good Ending.

As for Phil, he gets to roleplay as this wholesome Normal Rockwell suburban gouty dad, to the belief of absolutely no one, not even himself. Like with Panda, bringing her on stream was a terrible idea, but for different reasons. Panda was a much bigger personality, and the more she grew up, the more she was able to easily outshine Phil's stupid ass on camera. Kat is the total opposite: She's so much of a dull, demon hunting potato that she makes Phil look smart by comparison. As anyone can tell you, when you touch a woman and she physically winces, or she needs to charge up her super meter to be able to go for a chaste peck on the cheek, she is not a catch, she will not fuck you, and you should probably avoid her like the plague, if the nature of your relationship is romantic. Fortunately for Phil, their relationship is not romantic.

The transactional nature of their relationship is a big part of why Phil's just burning all his money on gacha, aside from his addiction, I feel. It's just impossible to be in a loving relationship and funneling all that money on pointless bullshit when you know the other party wants a trip to Japan. I know he vaguely claims to get her "something nice" for anniversaries and the like, but I'm pressing X on that shit. Phil probably got her a salt lick once and called it a day. Most despondent breadwinner husbands do something of the sort, except usually they'll invest their money in properties they'll hide from the wife, to ensure they'll have cash if things go to hell. Except Phil is an idiot, but you get the idea.

I'm one of the biggest defenders of Phil as a closet queen. I can tell you that straight men do NOT define other men as "Sexy" in a natural way as Phil did with LTG. Stuff just rolled off his tongue like it was no biggie. He got so excited he even made a little song and dance about it. Thing is, whether he is, isn't, or just doesn't want to discuss his sexuality, it'd be much less embarassing to quietly get rid of Kat and the catson, admit he's gay and probably not really that into sex to himself in private and just pay for an actual live-in maid who'd cook him tendies and keep his house clean for a minimum wage. And Kat is PAINFULLY aware of that.

There is nothing wrong with looking for a relationship that sates your needs. Most people look for love, companionship and sex in a relationship. Phil looks for cooking, cleaning and presence in a relationship. Why he even thinks not having a girlfriend makes him a total incel loser is anyone's guess, but he's held this view for at least twenty years, frequently coming up with girlfriends from Canada even in the SRK forums or social gatherings he attended to. To no one's surprise, no one ever spotted Phil with a girl before Panda.

TL;DR: Phil is definitely a self loathing closeted gay man, but he probably can't get it up anyway. Kat's a gold digging pudgy homely Michigan trailer dweller, and their relationship is 100% transactional. No wonder Kat keeps him on a short leash, because for what Phil is looking for in a relationship, he could just get an actual, real live-in maid, drop the whole loving husband and father to a catson act, cut his expenses, get a lot more respect from everyone, and start living his best life. She's aware of this. And he's aware of this, but holds this insane, puerile world view that you're not a man unless you're a virile sex machine able to wear out a nympho's back. He's held this view for 20 years and isn't about to change it now.

 

[WolverineGuy22]

@KingjadVCMP This is pretty fire

Probably the funniest DSP clip so far this year.

Except for the disgusting bikini-clad girl on the bull at :22. You have like 15 minutes to edit that out before I PM Actually, I mean it. I'm not trying to look at disgusting boobs on the farms all day long.

 

[Fact Me Till I Fart]

So good to see Phil chase meaningless clout, for a few Dents that will fidget in their seats for a min or two in amazing ways that Philliam the Valedictorian stands up where everyone in his chat can't

And can't get past Level 1 on Pac-Man

Good thing he knows he is a huge failure everyday

 

[TheGreatWhiteNorth]

Gotta chase that clout

THIS FUCKING GUY. The guy who whines and bitches about "dah trolls" for an hour on his "podcast" says to ignore it. Meanwhile, he squeals like a (bigger) pig under the gate if people so much as poke at the flimsy lies he puts up to distract from his scumbag behaviour which he knows is wrong.

 

[GunnlaugurSassoon]

Gotta chase that clout

DSP is so dumb. Disney doesn't care about people trolling them. Does he think at this years shareholder meeting they were complaining about @naziyaoifan or whatever complaining that a black person was cast? Disney just used clickbait sites to get more of that fabled twitter engagement DSP is always going on about so the 99.9% of people who didn't read a single thing about anime avatars bitching about a black actress are now remembering their TV show exists and you can watch it NOW at (link)

And this fat idiot has a marketing degree

 

[DownwardFowl]

Gotta chase that clout

Can’t wait for his reaction when they inevitably cover up her face on the Chinese posters.

Oh wait….he doesn’t actually read up into things. Just consume product and wait for next product.

 

[PenskeMaterial]

@SauceRyuKen, I can't quote your post for some reason, but there was a girl before Panda Lee. Her name was Evvie. She appeared once during his Earth Defense Force' playthrough months before Panda Lee's debut and was never heard from again.

I think they went on a date and he brought her to his kahndo to play vidya, lol.