Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[The REAL MagnaRyuu]

I want Ozzy to hurry up and die so bad. Every time cobra goes on at length about how a washed up singer who peaked in the 70’s and is most notable for having destroyed his brain and shuffling around murmuring limey fuckin nonsense on a reality tv show is “god” to him and listening to him get so emotional I get thrilled.

Just the thought of cobras reaction to the news of Ozzy passing gives me butterflies. It would would be delicious. He loves Ozzy more than any family member, the guys is so retarded he has his name tattooed on his body. He proclaims, close to tears, Ozzy is his god.

Every time I see Ozzy’s name in a headline I get so excited. “Oh please, let this be IT” I think before I read it and it’s some dumb bs. I don’t REALLY want Ozzy to die. I just really like the IDEA of Ozzy dying

 

[TomBradysVagina]

Clint reliably does his taxes but I don't think Josh is showing Clint yearly transaction reports from PayPal. I'm sure the IRS considers livestream donations to be taxable income. I hope Clint is on top of that because if he isn't, Josh will eventually get reported for this by someone. He's gunna end up having to pay a gigantic fine, he might even be spending some time with DragonLordFrodo in J-Block by next year.


If Clint gets him at like 9 AM, there's a good chance he'll be 2-3 beers in and he'll be.....well, not acceptable but not shittered. Drunk enough to tell the same bad jokes but not hammered enough to talk about child molesters in front of Aunt Pearly.

New law in effect this year. Paypal reports direct to the IRS for accounts moving more than $600. I wonder if they'll ask paypal to provide previous years for accounts that are suddenly popping up this year.

 

[Clint's Burden]

SHe's been streaming for 11 hours?!

Yup. I know. This person is absolutely obsessed with Josh. I think they spent 11 hours straight watching Josh, texting Josh and talking about Josh on a livestream.

I'm gunna try to keep an eye on this one.

Edit: That's a little disconcerting.

 

[TomBradysVagina]

Every time I see Ozzy’s name in a headline I get so excited. “Oh please, let this be IT” I think before I read it and it’s some dumb bs. I don’t REALLY want Ozzy to die. I just really like the IDEA of Ozzy dying

Sorry to double post, i dont know how to add a quote to a previous one.

You might be in luck. Ozzy is going in for neck surgery. Maybe he'll get one last high from some fent and Ketamine and slowly slip away.

 

[charlesdickens]

Josh ain't gonna be interested in her since she's in an open relationship. He's too intimidated to deal with women in-person anymore. Stephanie got a Josh that benefited from the social circle of Job Corps. His relationship with Summer was set up by Rasta King Jeremy and even then it's really charitable to say she was his girlfriend. He can barely keep his old long-term friends these days, he's pretty much resigned to Warlord.

Next year's tax season will be big, I am hopeful. This is the one variable that will really shake up things. He's going to owe a ton and he already blew past the new minimum in the first month, so he's going to be owing a lot more than he ever has been. I can see a failed attempt at covering it and Clint forcing him to seek actual employment since it'll be a lot even if Clint chips in. Josh's alcoholism is so far gone at this point, he's absolutely screwed in trying to find a job. He is just not capable. It's going to be a reality check for Clint at least since his boglim boy will carry a significantly more financial burden to him. I doubt anything like rehabilitation or a group home, but it's the taxes that are the low key sleeper that will rattle the boy's comfortable living come next April.

 

[Potion_Time]

This is unironically the best vocal cover he's ever done. I'm genuinely impressed.

 

[The REAL MagnaRyuu]

Yup. I know. This person is absolutely obsessed with Josh. I think they spent 11 hours straight watching Josh, texting Josh and talking about Josh on a livestream.

I'm gunna try to keep an eye on this one.

Edit: That's a little disconcerting.
View attachment 3374794

Somebody gotta use Cobras brand of therapy on her(?) and hit her(?) with the “Okay do it”.

Or just tell her to take her seroquel, shut up, and get off the internet

 

[I.B. Niggin]

This is unironically the best vocal cover he's ever done. I'm genuinely impressed.

It's Keenan Cahill all over again but goth and smells good.

 

[The Southwest Strangla]

 

[crying and shidding]

This is unironically the best vocal cover he's ever done. I'm genuinely impressed.

our dark lord is singing in such incredibly high notes that my mere mortal ears can't even begin to pick up, but I already know this is one that our grandchildrens grandchildren will be watching time and time again alongside their families.

I can see a failed attempt at covering it and Clint forcing him to seek actual employment since it'll be a lot even if Clint chips in. Josh's alcoholism is so far gone at this point, he's absolutely screwed in trying to find a job. He is just not capable.

pre covid I thought it was possible he could pick up another shit tier wendys dish washer type job again, but he just obviously wasn't interested in it. then as things progressed he basically turned it up to 11, more shitty food, more drinking, more doordash and grocery delivery and liquor delivery, and less of basically everything else he did (however little that was) and he literally just sat in his apartment truly let the rot set in for the past 2 and a half years. these days I'd say he is completely unemployable apart from internet pheromone soap salesman. imo there is two possibilities with josh, either he stays the same and continues to rot, or something will cause some kind of serious intervention that will cause him to change; and he'd truly have to undergo a very serious lifestyle change to resemble any sort of normalcy.
I have a cousin who was honestly worse off than cobes in many ways, jobless, often homeless and a terrible drunk for like 10+ years, he got into a car accident like 3 years ago where him and his friend were driving drunk and they got into a head on collision with another drunk driver going like 60+ and he was the only one who survived because he had a seatbelt on and he was in the passenger seat. he spent like 18 months in the hospital and doing physical therapy and shit, he gets out and finds a job making like 60k (in small town nowhere where he lives this might as well be like 200k), buys a trailer, some land, a truck, a dog, and finds an actually decent girlfriend that lives with him now. completely turned his life around, but it took a near death experience for it to happen.
so do I think josh is capable of making a change? yeah, I've found in life even the most unlikely people can. but do I think it's likely? nah not really, but every now and again shit happens that surprises you. it's just the way she goes toobz.

 

[Big Nasty]

"Fuckin sickos.... eeerrddfffff... bitches.... shit...."

 

[Clint's Burden]

This is unironically the best vocal cover he's ever done. I'm genuinely impressed.

Does an entire vocal cover with his microphone muted, doesn't even check the video just uploads it anyway.

my man

 

[The Southwest Strangla]

I want Ozzy to hurry up and die so bad. Every time cobra goes on at length about how a washed up singer who peaked in the 70’s and is most notable for having destroyed his brain and shuffling around murmuring limey fuckin nonsense on a reality tv show is “god” to him and listening to him get so emotional I get thrilled.

Just the thought of cobras reaction to the news of Ozzy passing gives me butterflies. It would would be delicious. He loves Ozzy more than any family member, the guys is so retarded he has his name tattooed on his body. He proclaims, close to tears, Ozzy is his god.

Every time I see Ozzy’s name in a headline I get so excited. “Oh please, let this be IT” I think before I read it and it’s some dumb bs. I don’t REALLY want Ozzy to die. I just really like the IDEA of Ozzy dying

That’s what I’ve been saying. I want to see cobra cry like a baby. Ozzy has surgery this coming Monday, So there’s hope

sucking that food down like it was warlord dick....he even got spunk all over him

 

[Potion_Time]

sucking that food down like it was warlord dick....he even got spunk all over himView attachment 3375121View attachment 3375122View attachment 3375124

It's like watching Renfield eat.

 

[I.B. Niggin]

sucking that food down like it was warlord dick....he even got spunk all over himView attachment 3375121View attachment 3375122View attachment 3375124

He's literally Kano disgusting Goro in Mortal Kombat 95

 

[unnatural mayonnaise]

"I hate rapists more than I hate mongooses"

"I hate chimos more than I hate mongooses"

Paraphrased - It wouldn't work say if she liked mongooses, because I like cobras.


Can somebody enlighten me as to this mongoose hatred?

 

[I.B. Niggin]

"I hate rapists more than I hate mongooses"

"I hate chimos more than I hate mongooses"

Paraphrased - It wouldn't work say if she liked mongooses, because I like cobras.


Can somebody enlighten me as to this mongoose hatred?

It might just boil down to the simple autism of mongooses and cobras being mortal enemies.

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

Can somebody enlighten me as to this mongoose hatred?

The Mongoose will kill a Cobra, I think they actively predate them and with Josh the Cobra coming out the loser is an unthinkable sin.

 

[Bixby Snyder]

Josh the Cobra coming out the loser is an unthinkable sin.

He really is fucking delusional...

I wonder if Clint ever tried to teach him how to eat properly. I knew someone who was slow and ate with a 'monkey power grip', or basically just held the utensil in a fist and tipped their entire fucking head when eating. Him eating everything like a fucking burrito that is falling apart would embarrass the fuck outta me, and that's not even getting into the homeless-looking part, I don't blame the rest of his family for slowly cutting him outta their life.

I want Ozzy to hurry up and die so bad.

Can someone use one of Josh's wands and cast a death spell on Ozzy?

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

I wonder if Clint ever tried to teach him how to eat properly. I knew someone who was slow and ate with a 'monkey power grip', or basically just held the utensil in a fist and tipped their entire fucking head when eating. Him eating everything like a fucking burrito that is falling apart would embarrass the fuck outta me, and that's not even getting into the homeless-looking part, I don't blame the rest of his family for slowly cutting him outta their life.

If you look at how he eats he holds his food weirdly - He holds a Burger in a almost cupping manner and eats all around the outside before moving in on the centre assuming he can pick up what he's cooked. It's one thing to eat corn on the Cob like a typewriter starting at one end working towards the other and rotating it around, but cobes seems to eat Burgers like that it's honestly fascinating to me because apart from the obvious things there are many little mannerisms of his that are just odd.

I'm a big believer in Family is Family and you need to look after them but there are limits to that and Cobes is that guy who you want to help but he's to far gone and too unwilling to accept help on anything other than his own terms in what essentially ends up as enabling him and not criticising his ideas or actions.

When it comes to Cows I'm not interested in 99% of them, I'm into trying to work out where the Human stops and the Bovine begins and how they function as a person or more to the point where they stop being able to function and Cobes is honestly fascinating to me as he somehow manages to ride the cusp of being non functional and functional at the same time and how he's doing a Social, Famillerial and Financial juggling act without falling over and trying to work out where it's going to go in the end, I don't wish him Harm I want to see him stop drinking, smoking and get his shit together but it's not going to happen.