Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[FatJacksFatAssTongue]

This pasta is dry as the desert heat. No doubt this EyeTalian YouTube chef (over a decade now) has never heard of reserving a couple ladlefuls of the pasta water. He obviously just completely drained the whole thing and let it rest to room temperature (??).

Fat retard didn’t even think to try and add some olive oil or butter to help the dried/canned ingredients integrate. And it’s clear he made a last minute executive decision to just go ahead and use the full pound instead of only half the box. Then, *surprise*, stroked out and didn’t double up all the other stuff, yuck.

 

[Aunt Myrna]

I absolutely love how he keeps repeating "we are doing it just the way she wrote it", in all of the Julia videos. This completely unforced lie, to bring a sense of reverence and more importantly to justify going off his low carb """diet""". When it's no different than any other recipe research he does. It makes no sense when finding actual source material isn't hard for someone as famous as her. Instead we get yet another mommy blog recipe adapted from another blog which adapted from a proper cookbook source. And we know this because proper sources cite their work, Jackass. So even ignoring that the last link in the chain is a stroked out retard, we're 3 levels removed from the real thing at a minimum.

 

[Helvítis Túristi]

let's see where fatty stole this recipe from

*google search for julia child's spaghetti marco polo*

and it's the first result

recipe and cooking instructions once again stolen word for word

What are the chances he'll steal another recipe that turns out to be vegetarian?

 

[仙草茶]

Even though he hates soda, he likes this. I'm guessing it's because of the Jack Daniel's brand, given his fixation with anything that bears his name. More of a bonus that Jack Daniel's is Tennessee whiskey. For once he isn't lying when he says he can barely lift his arm.

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He's such a consoomer I cannot think of something more marketable than canned sugar, caffeine, and alcohol. Also isn't Tam Tam gonna throw a fit over this?

 

[rubytintedchix]

Even though he hates soda, he likes this. I'm guessing it's because of the Jack Daniel's brand, given his fixation with anything that bears his name. More of a bonus that Jack Daniel's is Tennessee whiskey. For once he isn't lying when he says he can barely lift his arm.

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Alcoholic confirmed. I wonder what recipe he’ll try where he’ll sneak it in. Probably pull pork or ribs.

 

[Baby Yoda]

My apologies for being late, but did Jack get vaccinated?

 

[仙草茶]

My apologies for being late, but did Jack get vaccinated?

He literally avoided places with mask mandates for fat on the go. What do you think?

 

[Baby Yoda]

He literally avoided places with mask mandates for fat on the go. What do you think?

How has he not died of covid yet?

 

[ZipDisk]

D-E220

Frosted flakes lookin' fat redact. [OBJ] [OBJ]

I'm surprised how stilted and uncomfortable that fred rogers video was, they really do polish the hell out of every segment in modern TV.

On to the abomination

Jack seems angry at his ingredients again. He's clearly mad this doesn't come with shitty marinara.

He didn't bring out his mothers' shitpot, I guess that's retired? Thank fuck.

Ay-rab talian called the pasta "macaroni"

He once again overdoes the spices, to ensure a nasty crunch in every bite.

And shreddy cheese on top of course.

So an oily nasty, crunchy mess. I'm sure it's AMAZING.

Eats right off the serving plate, doesn't even have the decency to pop out a paper plate.
Oh who am I kidding, he's either going to eat the entire thing or dump it in the garbage.

I'm honestly surprised he didn't force mechanically seperated chicken into the recipe.

 

[仙草茶]

How has he not died of covid yet?

He's survived 2 or 3 strokes now perhaps his genetics has a far more satisfying demise in mind, no?

 

[Boys Club Rhetoric]

How has he not died of covid yet?

My working theories are:

1) God, or the deity of your choice, is a royal cunt and won't let him die, and instead takes other people far too early in exchange

2) At this point I assume he has a natural immunity to it alongside his seeming immunity to salmonella.

 

[AnOminous]

I hope zombie Julia Child comes back and rips his lungs out and feeds them to him.

 

[Charlie Delicious]

 

[rubytintedchix]

How has he not died of covid yet?

He’s probably had it with no symptoms and was a super spreader as he waddled his fat ass around the finest BWW, Arby’s and Chili’s chains in the suburbs of Nashville. He’s definitely a super spreader of salmonella if nothing else, anyway.

 

[Chicken Lo Mein]

How has he not died of covid yet?

Jack is destined to go out with a bang: freak accident, megastroke, murder-suicide on the behalf of Hammy, etc. I, for one, look forward to Jack's death being preserved on some form of digital media, either by a restaurant patron or perhaps a livestream.

 

[rubytintedchix]

I hope zombie Julia Child comes back and rips his lungs out and feeds them to him.

She hasn’t?

 

[Aaway]

Jack is destined to go out with a bang: freak accident, megastroke, murder-suicide on the behalf of Hammy, etc. I, for one, look forward to Jack's death being preserved on some form of digital media, either by a restaurant patron or perhaps a livestream.

i remember in one of the old polls asking posters to predict when and how jack would die, someone responded with "beaten to death by a gang of angry chefs" and i'm really hoping they end up being right

 

[ZipDisk]

Have you noticed Jack's favorite booth at BWW is fucking filthy? I wonder if they reserve that seat for him, or if he self selects.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

Which boggles the mind because the one man responsible for making electric cars popular is very much right wing. This is truely the most bipartisan idea: the left want it for being easier on the ecosystem, the right want one because it's from Musk.

Same concept with anti-vaxers: Who the fuck cut the red tape for pharma companies to make the vaccine? Trump! Without him, we might still be under mandates while the vaccine might roll out this year...maybe.

The people that make these crazy accusations aren't known to be the deepest thinkers out there. It's all reactionary and based on either politics or social issues that happen to be happening right now. It's on the right and it's on the left. Neither side is pure and blameless in this.

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It's not even the right recipe which shows he just got it off somebody's website.

Spaghetti Marco Polo, at least how Julia did it, has the following ingredients:

Tuna - from a can.
Red pimentos, not roasted red peppers.
Green onions.
Black olives.
Walnuts.
Swiss cheese.
And it calls for fresh herbs, not dried ones.

There's a lack of garlic and tomato in it. But trust Mushbrain not to actually research the recipe but just Google it and find the first one.

It looks like Julia Child made this recipe with Mr. Rogers. It was meant to be an easy recipe for kids. Tells the kids to get adults to do all the chopping for them.

That's exactly the reason why. It was a way for kids to be able to make a simple dish that the family could enjoy.

 

[jitter]

Even though he hates soda, he likes this. I'm guessing it's because of the Jack Daniel's brand, given his fixation with anything that bears his name. More of a bonus that Jack Daniel's is Tennessee whiskey. For once he isn't lying when he says he can barely lift his arm.

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You guys missed his "joke" and the ridiculous irony coming from Jack. He's calling people who buy this lazy.