Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Pig Cups]

No wonder he's the way he is. He probably has that article printed out and framed in his "studio".

Jack’s just like the proprietor of a has-been eatery that’s falling apart in atmosphere and QC. Most of these owners will have favorable reviews and articles from like, 1987, framed on the wall. The paper will be yellowed from age, yet these guys use it as a cope, because they cling to past praise and think it means jack shit in the present day. Much like Jack and his moribund channels.

1:35 "sun-dried tomatoes"
4:48 "roasted red peppers"
6:08 "sun-roasted tomatoes"
7:42 "roasted red.... uh.... tomatoes" (at this point I think Jack realized he fucked up)

With each passing upload, his brain gets closer and closer to the consistency of applesauce. As Joshua Perper said, “he is…deteriorating…at an accelerated rate!”

Even though he hates soda, he likes this. I'm guessing it's because of the Jack Daniel's brand, given his fixation with anything that bears his name. More of a bonus that Jack Daniel's is Tennessee whiskey. For once he isn't lying when he says he can barely lift his arm.

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This, after he made a huge fuss about soda being unhealthy and directed his audience to not buy it in his recently-recorded attempt to wax intelligent about frugality.

Fuck you, Jack.

Also, that abomination of a video is seriously reminding me of this one:

In both cases, you have a narcissistic fat faggot pushing advice that he *never* follows himself. The tips are about as autistic as you can imagine, even though the video was made during Jack’s more coherent years.

 

[The Southwest Strangla]

How has he not died of covid yet?

He’s proof that there is no god. There are people who got the virus and died but this sack of fat is dodging the C bullets. Maybe he is the chosen one lol

 

[FatJacksFatAssTongue]

Jack’s just like the proprietor of a has-been eatery that’s falling apart in atmosphere and QC. Most of these owners will have favorable reviews and articles from like, 1987, framed on the wall. The paper will be yellowed from age, yet these guys use it as a cope, because they cling to past praise and think it means jack shit in the present day. Much like Jack and his moribund channels.



With each passing upload, his brain gets closer and closer to the consistency of applesauce. As Joshua Perper said, “he is…deteriorating…at an accelerated rate!”



This, after he made a huge fuss about soda being unhealthy and directed his audience to not buy it in his recently-recorded attempt to wax intelligent about frugality.

Fuck you, Jack.

Also, that abomination of a video is seriously reminding me of this one:

In both cases, you have a narcissistic fat faggot pushing advice that he *never* follows himself. The tips are about as autistic as you can imagine, even though the video was made during Jack’s more coherent years.
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This list of tips from back in the day is mostly just fine. Too bad, because if Jagoff wasn’t such a fuckin’ hypocrite he likely could’ve dodged both Stroke #1 & Stroke #2 …

 

[ZipDisk]

Julia references the Mr. Rogers appearance. I thought that segment was awkward, but this later version made me dislike Jane Pauley, it felt like she was rushing the segment and being rude.

One thing I find fascinating about this later take is that Julia Child knew to use ingredients, but not to overuse them. The specific quote is "You can always add more"

I don't know if we've EVER seen Jack show restraint, aside from the lies about "one bite".

I've been paring my food back lately, mainly because of budget, but I've also noticed I no longer experience the disgusting over full feeling that I was honestly used to. Sometimes I might not have as much as I'd want, but I'm certainly getting enough to fill the need to eat.

Granted, you can't exactly put a fucking Wendigo on a diet.

 

[boxybum]

Since we know that Jack pregames his day with children's television, he should have tuned into Mr. Rogers while he was preparing this one. Julia teaches literal children how to make spaghetti Marco Polo, and explains that you should use steaming hot spaghetti, red pimento, finely chopped olives, tuna in oil, fresh parsley, and swiss cheese for this dish. She even teaches the class how to maintain a wooden cutting board and use chopsticks, skills I know Jack has yet to grasp. Her recipe is most likely simplified for her audience, but it's pretty far from what Jack's presenting.

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Couldn't he have just watched this video and copied the recipe directly from the show he supposedly loved? Hell, he could have used his fancy new mac book to splice in some snippets from this Julia episode as he was preparing his ingredients. But wait, that would actually take some sort of effort on his part.

 

[rubytintedchix]

Julia references the Mr. Rogers appearance. I thought that segment was awkward, but this later version made me dislike Jane Pauley, it felt like she was rushing the segment and being rude.

One thing I find fascinating about this later take is that Julia Child knew to use ingredients, but not to overuse them. The specific quote is "You can always add more"

I don't know if we've EVER seen Jack show restraint, aside from the lies about "one bite".

I've been paring my food back lately, mainly because of budget, but I've also noticed I no longer experience the disgusting over full feeling that I was honestly used to. Sometimes I might not have as much as I'd want, but I'm certainly getting enough to fill the need to eat.

Granted, you can't exactly put a fucking Wendigo on a diet.

That’s Joan Lunden not Jane Pauley.

 

[Jack of the Lantern]

He’s proof that there is no god. There are people who got the virus and died but this sack of fat is dodging the C bullets. Maybe he is the chosen one lol

Despite all of the warnings over obesity being an aggravating factor for severe Covid, every deathfat on this site (and Jack will always be a deathfat to me) who got Covid waddled away relatively unscathed. Someone needs to study these people.

 

[Whatthefuck]

That’s Joan Lunden not Jane Pauley.

You're correct. I noticed, in Julia's later years, that when she did shows like this that they did tend to rush her. It always bothered me because it's not like her mannerisms aren't known. When she did her show with Jacques Pepin you get a little of that from him, but it's absolutely not rude. He moreso keeps her on task. I always got the sense that she enjoyed cooking so much that she could get in the weeds about the process. In fact, if you read her recipes, they're very thorough to the point that simpletons don't have the patience for them (see: Jack). When they were written, though, they were intended to give the average cook the knowledge and confidence to cook just the way Julia does as long as they just follow the steps. We all know that Jack does not have the patience to really give respect to the process of cooking the food. I think that may be one of his defining features.

If I was dedicating an entire month to my supposed idol then I'd respect her enough to BUY her work, properly cite it, research the times she demonstrated it and either refer to that or splice footage. What I wouldn't do is scour mommy blogs for a bastardization and then bastardize that and call it my "idol's" work. He could buy Mastering the Art of French Cooking, which is a staple in kitchens of even serious home cooks along with The Joy of Cooking, and at least be able to transcribe the source recipe and then make "modern adjustments" if necessary. Of course, that would require this asshole understanding what ingredients are appropriate for substitutions or are more in line with modern tastes.

I wish he'd do a terrine. I know he won't, but I'd fucking love it. Maybe a pate. It'd be glorious.

 

[desudesu]

Reminder that Jagoff bought Julia Child's books for performative reasons, and for his shriveled walnut brain to enjoy the sweet dopamine hit from Facebook reacts.

He is, however, so retarded and lazy that, despite having the fucking books sitting in front of him, he choose to copy paste adapted recipes from random blogs on the internet.

The books are also not cheap too. Last time I checked it costs upwards of $40+ for a used copy on ebay. Jagoff doesn't care - it's Mommywife's Amex anyways.

 

[rubytintedchix]

I have more of the “little birdie” singing…

I removed some identifying information, but here’s the gist of what was said.

Spoiler: Fart fart fart

Jack writes off every OTG food purchase. The Vegas trips had to have been write-offs as well not only for the OTG reviews, but he used to have a customer out there that bought his sauce so he could use that delivery as a write-off. I don’t know if he still has any customers out here in the west anymore. When they first moved to TN, his father-in-law used to make the deliveries for him to the 3-4 brick-and-mortar customers he had. Not sure what happened once they moved out there and who, if anyone, took over the delivery. I’m sure he switched to drop-ship because he changed sauce manufacturers.

Jack is just so full of crap. I think it’s common knowledge that Tammy didn’t go to college. Jack told me that you just find a small, former college that burnt down or something and say you went there. They have no way of looking you up because the campus is now defunct. That’s where Tammy’s college “degree” is from. Some defunct college in south Orange County. He told me this personally!

Then in the same breath, he’ll virtue signal that he doesn’t believe in copying music files and having non-purchased music. Really? But it’s okay to rip off recipes and call them yours and fake college degrees? Really?

That’s all the tea I have this week.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

Jack’s just like the proprietor of a has-been eatery that’s falling apart in atmosphere and QC. Most of these owners will have favorable reviews and articles from like, 1987, framed on the wall. The paper will be yellowed from age, yet these guys use it as a cope, because they cling to past praise and think it means jack shit in the present day. Much like Jack and his moribund channels.



With each passing upload, his brain gets closer and closer to the consistency of applesauce. As Joshua Perper said, “he is…deteriorating…at an accelerated rate!”



This, after he made a huge fuss about soda being unhealthy and directed his audience to not buy it in his recently-recorded attempt to wax intelligent about frugality.

Fuck you, Jack.

Also, that abomination of a video is seriously reminding me of this one:

In both cases, you have a narcissistic fat faggot pushing advice that he *never* follows himself. The tips are about as autistic as you can imagine, even though the video was made during Jack’s more coherent years.
View attachment 3389317
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That's just Jagoff acting like he has willpower and telling his fat son that he needs to eat better because Qtard Cali was a chubby little kid and Mushbrain when he was small wasn't. But that was because his Mom was on food stamps and his Dad was an alcoholic or something.

 

[Kosher Salt]

Sure, but what about the lions and bears and hyenas and shit?

Also I might just be too high tonight but do ALL creationists deny evolution? Like I know the whole point of creationists is that they don't believe in evolution, it's just weirding me out tonight.

I think the general consensus among ark-believers is that if zoos can manage to handle predators why couldn't an ark. The story does say that extra food animals were brought on board. It doesn't really say whether the extras were to provide food for carnivores, or to feed the people on board, or to ensure that the prey animal population would have a head start so they weren't immediately killed off once the doors are open and everything's set free. Probably some combination of all those factors.

Regarding creationists, Christian does not equal creationist, so if you say "creationist" you're basically already limiting your category to the people who deny evolution. However there are a few general types... there are people who believe in a literal six-day creation (and a seventh day of rest). There are also people who believe that God just set a general plan in motion and let evolution finish the process (the so-called "day-age" theory is that each "day" in the creation story corresponds to an era of evolutionary history).

If we're talking about literal six-day creationists, they tend to disbelieve evolution to the point that they think mutations tend to cause variety but (even given unlimited time) won't change an animal into a different "kind" of animal. They believe that God created a limited number of "kinds" of animals, and mutations can increase the variety within a kind but they'll never cross some sort of invisible boundary that defines the "kind." (Scientists of course do the best they can, you know, but they're not God, so "species" and "kind" are not perfectly equivalent. )

Of course there are also plenty of Christians who aren't creationist.

 

[Jack of the Lantern]

Jack's been on a tear today. Get your s ready.

Newsflash - it's hot in the summer, especially if you're stuck in a beachball of insulating adipose.



Reverend Dr. Jack has graduated from the Facebook theology program:



A reminder that Jack is ALWAYS RIGHT:



Reece steps up to start the inevitable angy DFE.


Jack inches ever closer to just telling us how he really feels about those black people:



My God, he's still going:

 

[Quixotic Man]

Jack's been on a tear today. Get your s ready.

Newsflash - it's hot in the summer, especially if you're stuck in a beachball of insulating adipose.

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Reverend Dr. Jack has graduated from the Facebook theology program:

View attachment 3390131

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A reminder that Jack is ALWAYS RIGHT:

View attachment 3390132

Reece steps up to start the inevitable angy DFE.
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And finally, Jack inches ever closer to just telling us how he really feels about those black people:

View attachment 3390140

Goddamn you [OBJ] I really wanted to know what Emoji Jack could possibly be punctuating economic advice with, the boomer fuck.

 

[AnOminous]

Jack is destined to go out with a bang: freak accident, megastroke, murder-suicide on the behalf of Hammy, etc. I, for one, look forward to Jack's death being preserved on some form of digital media, either by a restaurant patron or perhaps a livestream.

I hope he pisses off one of the murder pastors at the murder churches he likes to attend.

If I was dedicating an entire month to my supposed idol then I'd respect her enough to BUY her work, properly cite it, research the times she demonstrated it and either refer to that or splice footage.

Jack would fuck that up. The Julia Child people are actually pretty aggressive about protecting both the image of Julia Child as well as the copyrights and trademarks. He'd do something stupid and get copyright struck even if weens did not immediately find her pretty easy to find IP agents and snitch on him.

 

[desudesu]

Update: Jagoff's JULAY IN JUNE announcement video got struck by the WGBH Educational Foundation (aka the TV station of Julia Child). Fatty is going to seethe and rage, and because of this, cease the entirety of Julay in June - calling it!

GET YOU KARMA.

Edit: This is the archive of the copyright-struck video. Many thanks to @Neko GF our resident archivist:

Archive (1080p):
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[Aaway]

Update: Jagoff's JULAY IN JUNE announcement video got struck by the WGBH Educational Foundation (aka the TV station of Julia Child). Fatty is going to seethe and rage, and because of this, cease the entirety of Julay in June - calling it!

GET YOU KARMA.

View attachment 3390268

might be for the best because aside from the roast chicken video that has 18k views because someone posted it on r/cringe, the "julia in june" videos are struggling to even break 3k views

that is incredibly pathetic even for a dead channel like CWJ

 

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

Update: Jagoff's JULAY IN JUNE announcement video got struck by the WGBH Educational Foundation (aka the TV station of Julia Child). Fatty is going to seethe and rage, and because of this, cease the entirety of Julay in June - calling it!

GET YOU KARMA.

View attachment 3390268

IIRC, this video actually used footage of Child on her programs and that's why they struck this one. But since his recipe videos are just using secondhand knockoffs of her recipes with no actual footage, I wouldn't guess WGBH would file strikes against those.

 

[rubytintedchix]

Update: Jagoff's JULAY IN JUNE announcement video got struck by the WGBH Educational Foundation (aka the TV station of Julia Child). Fatty is going to seethe and rage, and because of this, cease the entirety of Julay in June - calling it!

GET YOU KARMA.

View attachment 3390268

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAJAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

*breathes*

Ahahahahahahabahhahahahahahahahaha

God laughs. But mostly me.

 

[captkrisma]

Jack would fuck that up. The Julia Child people are actually pretty aggressive about protecting both the image of Julia Child as well as the copyrights and trademarks. He'd do something stupid and get copyright struck even if weens did not immediately find her pretty easy to find IP agents and snitch on him.

Jack's defense in this is that a majority of the recipies weren't directly from Julia Child, but from mommy blogs. This puts Jack in a slight bind, because if he admits to lying and stealing, then he's a poor Christian role model and Julia in June was nothing but a lie. If he doubles down on the "this is exactly how Julia made it" ruse he runs the risk of getting further IP smacks.