Off-Topic Losing people to transgenderism support thread - Support group for trans widows and other people who lost loved ones to troonism

[Agarathium1066]

I dunno about that. Maybe it's not exactly porn as we men think of it but many FTMs consume a ton of smut before making that call. It's why they get so obsessed with being the 'uwu soft boy'.

Most FTM I have met regularly indulged in absolute craploads of yaoi and other increasingly weird pornography until deciding they wished to become the 'soft boy'. Which is something I've actually discussed previously that by being a woman they are already able to be in the traditionally submissive and 'soft' role.

The discussion never really managed to make any headway and it seemed lost on both individuals I had it with.

 

[Mrs. Addams]

I'm at about the 99% breaking point with my "closest" trans friend. I'm pretty sure he's schizophrenic, and part of why I've hung around as long as I have is that I've been trying to get him help, but nothing's improving, and friends are repeatedly telling me that they question my safety when we're alone at his house. (I'm not that scared myself as he's basically anorexic, but he's threatened suicide to manipulate people before and would probably do it again.)

But if I step away, I think one of a couple things is going to happen and I'm not sure which is best:
a) If I ghost, or do any clear breaking off, he'll go manic and blow up my phone as his broken brain invents a thousand reasons why I've stopped answering and what he can explain/manipulate and get me back. It would probably be wise to just block his number. He does know where I live.
b) If I tell him I'm a TERF and never thought he was a woman, he'll hate me forever. That actually might be the cleanest break.
c) I can become incredibly busy with work and just invent excuses for not showing up week after week until he stops asking.
d) Tell him I won't hang out anymore unless he fesses up to the doctors about the schizophrenia symptoms and starts treatment?

Does anyone have any better ideas? This is a super clingy person who goes manic and can become manipulative upon occasion. (And yeah, writing all this out sounds stupidly unhealthy and makes me wonder why we're still friends.)

 

[DumbDude42]

@Mrs. Addams

option a) is fast and drastic, a very effective way to stop him from annoying you, but it will make shit very awkward IRL if you do end up running into him again in the future.

option b) is the based chad move, but risky. if you hang around lots of leftists then dropping a "you will never be a woman" terf bomb on a suicidal tranny can get you canceled hard. i don't know if that's a concern for you, but should be considered before going through with it.

option c) can backfire if he's the kind of autist who can't take a hint, or the kind of narc who just refuses to step back, in that case he'll keep bothering and annoying you forever (or until you decide to go with one of the other options instead)

lastly, option d) seems like the most 'adult' choice and socially the least risky for yourself, cause when in doubt you can always take the moral high ground based on the classic "he is troubled, i tried to get him the help he needs, i won't be an enabler for his mental illness" narrative to justify your actions to others. but, again, it depends a lot on what kind of people you associate with.


my heart says to go with b) just to make the tranny seethe, but from a rational perspective i think d) is best.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

I'm at about the 99% breaking point with my "closest" trans friend. I'm pretty sure he's schizophrenic, and part of why I've hung around as long as I have is that I've been trying to get him help, but nothing's improving, and friends are repeatedly telling me that they question my safety when we're alone at his house. (I'm not that scared myself as he's basically anorexic, but he's threatened suicide to manipulate people before and would probably do it again.)

But if I step away, I think one of a couple things is going to happen and I'm not sure which is best:
a) If I ghost, or do any clear breaking off, he'll go manic and blow up my phone as his broken brain invents a thousand reasons why I've stopped answering and what he can explain/manipulate and get me back. It would probably be wise to just block his number. He does know where I live.
b) If I tell him I'm a TERF and never thought he was a woman, he'll hate me forever. That actually might be the cleanest break.
c) I can become incredibly busy with work and just invent excuses for not showing up week after week until he stops asking.
d) Tell him I won't hang out anymore unless he fesses up to the doctors about the schizophrenia symptoms and starts treatment?

Does anyone have any better ideas? This is a super clingy person who goes manic and can become manipulative upon occasion. (And yeah, writing all this out sounds stupidly unhealthy and makes me wonder why we're still friends.)

What specifically makes you think "schizo" here and not something else? Because the manipulative behavior and a couple other clues suggest more of a personality disorder to me. If there is actual psychosis, that could be something else, yes- several options there. A schizophrenic is going to spend the majority of his time neither psychotic nor completely normal, though, but kind of flat and withdrawn and passive, with the negative symptoms that actually cause the majority of the disability for them.

If he really does have a manipulative personality disorder or at least many traits of one, the best way to cut ties will be the old "grey rock" approach. Being busy and unavailable and very quiet and uninteresting. He will have an extinction burst where he tries everything in the book to get a reaction out of you. If you get through that without responding, he will probably fuck off indefinitely.

Oh and your only response to suicide threats, ever, should be to say "very well then I will call an ambulance."

 

[Mrs. Addams]

my heart says to go with b) just to make the tranny seethe, but from a rational perspective i think d) is best.

Yeah, I agree with that. B sounds cool, but D does sound a lot more adult.

What specifically makes you think "schizo" here and not something else? Because the manipulative behavior and a couple other clues suggest more of a personality disorder to me. If there is actual psychosis, that could be something else, yes- several options there. A schizophrenic is going to spend the majority of his time neither psychotic nor completely normal, though, but kind of flat and withdrawn and passive, with the negative symptoms that actually cause the majority of the disability for them.

If he really does have a manipulative personality disorder or at least many traits of one, the best way to cut ties will be the old "grey rock" approach. Being busy and unavailable and very quiet and uninteresting. He will have an extinction burst where he tries everything in the book to get a reaction out of you. If you get through that without responding, he will probably fuck off indefinitely.

Oh and your only response to suicide threats, ever, should be to say "very well then I will call an ambulance."

Totally agree... He's hearing voices, so I think schizophrenia is a solid possibility. But there might be other stuff going on too.

And yeah... Gray rock is a good idea.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

Yeah, I agree with that. B sounds cool, but D does sound a lot more adult.

Totally agree... He's hearing voices, so I think schizophrenia is a solid possibility. But there might be other stuff going on too.

And yeah... Gray rock is a good idea.

So here's the $10k question: is he hearing voices or does he desperately want you to know that he is hearing voices? Even if he was coy about it, that can still be attention seeking behavior- "oh I have such a bad problem but I can't tell anyone for how they would JUDGE me so!" And attention seeking posturing as having a serious mental illness (and thus being so fragile and needy no one can leave him or tell him no) would be more in line with the rest of this guy's personality profile.

Schizos tend to come off as similar to autists, maybe more on the eccentric side but definitely awkward, rather than flamboyant and loud and needy. There's a reason "schizoid" is basically medical-ese for "loner." Lots of other disorders can cause legit hallucinations and delusions, besides sz. Manic or depressive episodes can include them, organic brain diseases, so on and so forth.

 

[Mrs. Addams]

So here's the $10k question: is he hearing voices or does he desperately want you to know that he is hearing voices? Even if he was coy about it, that can still be attention seeking behavior- "oh I have such a bad problem but I can't tell anyone for how they would JUDGE me so!" And attention seeking posturing as having a serious mental illness (and thus being so fragile and needy no one can leave him or tell him no) would be more in line with the rest of this guy's personality profile.

Schizos tend to come off as similar to autists, maybe more on the eccentric side but definitely awkward, rather than flamboyant and loud and needy. There's a reason "schizoid" is basically medical-ese for "loner." Lots of other disorders can cause legit hallucinations and delusions, besides sz. Manic or depressive episodes can include them, organic brain diseases, so on and so forth.

If he's faking it, he's playing the long game and has been doing it for two years. But it's possible... I don't think I have the medical knowledge to say for sure.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

If he's faking it, he's playing the long game and has been doing it for two years. But it's possible... I don't think I have the medical knowledge to say for sure.

Negative symptoms, which may appear to his friends as him simply falling off the map for a period, would get my attention for schizophrenia. Or evidence of formal thought disorder- that will be part of psychosis stemming from a mood disorder as well.

What I am seeing with this guy just from a distance and your descriptions rings bells for Cluster B and they will fake all kinds of other more exotic symptoms to get attention, or even convince themselves they really have those things, all as part of the "look at me, I hate you, don't leave me" nature of their personalities. They are very prone to trooning out too because they essentially are empty inside and will grab whatever the zeitgeist has to offer to fill the void.

Doesn't really matter from your end though. You just need to excise the troon without getting harmed.

 

[Darkholme's Dungeon]

I'm at about the 99% breaking point with my "closest" trans friend. I'm pretty sure he's schizophrenic, and part of why I've hung around as long as I have is that I've been trying to get him help, but nothing's improving, and friends are repeatedly telling me that they question my safety when we're alone at his house. (I'm not that scared myself as he's basically anorexic, but he's threatened suicide to manipulate people before and would probably do it again.)

But if I step away, I think one of a couple things is going to happen and I'm not sure which is best:
a) If I ghost, or do any clear breaking off, he'll go manic and blow up my phone as his broken brain invents a thousand reasons why I've stopped answering and what he can explain/manipulate and get me back. It would probably be wise to just block his number. He does know where I live.
b) If I tell him I'm a TERF and never thought he was a woman, he'll hate me forever. That actually might be the cleanest break.
c) I can become incredibly busy with work and just invent excuses for not showing up week after week until he stops asking.
d) Tell him I won't hang out anymore unless he fesses up to the doctors about the schizophrenia symptoms and starts treatment?

Does anyone have any better ideas? This is a super clingy person who goes manic and can become manipulative upon occasion. (And yeah, writing all this out sounds stupidly unhealthy and makes me wonder why we're still friends.)

I would suggest heavily thinking before committing to do a/b/d. There was an 17 year old murdered in my friend's town because she refused a 28 year old man schizo/narc the other day:

https://www.fox21news.com/news/crime/blood-everywhere-details-on-walgreens-murder-scene/

Spoiler: Offtopic, but relevant for your personal safety

No matter what you do, you should carry a firearm. I know most women (Assuming because of the profile name) are against firearms, but you're really, really not gonna win against someone who's either angry enough to not give a shit, and/or also on drugs. I've heard/seen stories of some meth heads who needed an entire engine crew and ems (5+2) to hold them down so they don't kill somebody before. Please don't also think police will arrive to save you, if at all. Rural areas like where I live have a 30+ minute response time. Cities like Dallas/Houston/Most blue voting areas are so underfunded because muh social programs (money laundering) and defund the police they may miss over 30% of all charlie/delta calls. Charlie/Delta calls (terminology varies by department) = Murder, arson, rape, assault with deadly weapon, etc (Fire department version is anything life threatening like stroke, house fire et al. that authorizes lights and whistles)

And please, also train with a firearm. I have responded to call(s) because of lack of training on holster draw causing an discharge into the femoral artery. Make sure to readup on your local laws as well, although a women can basically get away with the "I felt threatened" excuse almost 90% of the time you should probably make sure what you shouldn't do. After all, juries are emotional beings.

Try not to become a statistic. I will be very happy since I get tired of washing bodies off the road pavement.

@Ser Prize,
It wouldn't be lack of foundational thinking skills, it would be lack of individualisim plus a societal trend towards individual helplessness.

 

[Mrs. Addams]

Negative symptoms, which may appear to his friends as him simply falling off the map for a period, would get my attention for schizophrenia. Or evidence of formal thought disorder- that will be part of psychosis stemming from a mood disorder as well.

What I am seeing with this guy just from a distance and your descriptions rings bells for Cluster B and they will fake all kinds of other more exotic symptoms to get attention, or even convince themselves they really have those things, all as part of the "look at me, I hate you, don't leave me" nature of their personalities. They are very prone to trooning out too because they essentially are empty inside and will grab whatever the zeitgeist has to offer to fill the void.

Doesn't really matter from your end though. You just need to excise the troon without getting harmed.

Yeah, that totally could be. The tattered remnants of what used to be his social circle claim he's gone from identity to identity over the years. He's destroyed most of his friendships in that process.

I would suggest heavily thinking before committing to do a/b/d. There was an 17 year old murdered in my friend's town because she refused a 28 year old man schizo/narc the other day:

https://www.fox21news.com/news/crime/blood-everywhere-details-on-walgreens-murder-scene/

Spoiler: Offtopic, but relevant for your personal safety

No matter what you do, you should carry a firearm. I know most women (Assuming because of the profile name) are against firearms, but you're really, really not gonna win against someone who's either angry enough to not give a shit, and/or also on drugs. I've heard/seen stories of some meth heads who needed an entire engine crew and ems (5+2) to hold them down so they don't kill somebody before. Please don't also think police will arrive to save you, if at all. Rural areas like where I live have a 30+ minute response time. Cities like Dallas/Houston/Most blue voting areas are so underfunded because muh social programs (money laundering) and defund the police they may miss over 30% of all charlie/delta calls. Charlie/Delta calls (terminology varies by department) = Murder, arson, rape, assault with deadly weapon, etc (Fire department version is anything life threatening like stroke, house fire et al. that authorizes lights and whistles)

And please, also train with a firearm. I have responded to call(s) because of lack of training on holster draw causing an discharge into the femoral artery. Make sure to readup on your local laws as well, although a women can basically get away with the "I felt threatened" excuse almost 90% of the time you should probably make sure what you shouldn't do. After all, juries are emotional beings.

Try not to become a statistic. I will be very happy since I get tired of washing bodies off the road pavement.

@Ser Prize,
It wouldn't be lack of foundational thinking skills, it would be lack of individualisim plus a societal trend towards individual helplessness.

I appreciate the thoughts... One of the questions I'm wrestling with is how badly he could break with reality (to become dangerous) since one of my friends told me she's seen him smash his own windows when he looses it.

I'm thinking the wisest (and kindest) course is to simply become way too busy to hang out with him and throw the blame on my notoriously inconstant job.

Anyhow, not to take over the thread with a problem I totally created by not being blunt earlier.

 

[Plunkie]

Welp, time to strap in.

So around mid-May, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me out of the blue. I was "surprised" with this information coming home from work and finding half of her things gone. She only gave me a cryptic closure: "I've just run out of things to talk about". Which was odd, because every day we spent together was amazing. She was very much a girly girl and I loved being able to provide for her. Hell, I had bought a ring that matched her personality perfectly and was intending to pop the question a week or so after the breakup date before it happened. Over the next three weeks of her slowly moving shit out of the house, I tried to press her into telling me the real reason why she wanted to break up and never got far.

I learned later from a friend of hers (who was leaving her friend group I guess) that she was transitioning into a man. She used Discord for a lot of her cute hobbies like sewing, crocheting, gardening, etc., and had apparently gotten swept away into a tranny server. She never showed any signs throughout the relationship. But her friend showed me some chat logs of my girlfriend stating her plans...that she was going to leave me, that me being a bigoted Christian (my religion never played into our relationship ever) wouldn't be the "appropriate environment". She "wanted an environment of affirmation, not one that would spread negativity", which I assume meant that she didn't want her decision challenged by me. Couldn't try to talk her out of it because she blocked me on every possible platform.

So this whole thing kinda shattered my entire reality of her. But I'm doing about as good as I can be right now. I just wonder how long the troon cult had been silently indoctrinating her.

 

[sasanian]

So this whole thing kinda shattered my entire reality of her. But I'm doing about as good as I can be right now. I just wonder how long the troon cult had been silently indoctrinating her.

I feel you man. It gets better eventually. It's hard to give up on someone you care about.

Pretty much the same thing happened with my girlfriend, down to the Discord grooming and staying quiet about trooning out until weeks later (fortunately we did not live together). I wish there was a better way of knowing when people were being indoctrinated so you could get them out before it's too late. I guess they're pretty good at getting their victims to stay quiet until they're fully into it, though. I sometimes wish I had been more proactive in figuring out what she was doing on Discord. On the one hand, she's not my child. On the other, if it stopped her from going through with these things it would definitely be worth it.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

Oof. These are grown women- what the actual fuck is going on over at Discord that's getting to them like this? Is it like the sissy hypno porn but with yaoi? Actually curious what kind of indoctrination is happening.

 

[Plunkie]

On the other, if it stopped her from going through with these things it would definitely be worth it.

I thought long and hard about this too. I don't know much but I do know that when someone adopts a belief system, it's nigh impossible to remove them from it. They have to be the one to decide to leave it.

I had a nightmare a few days ago where she came back and knocked on my door, admitted she fucked up, etc...but she'd had facial, top, and bottom surgery. I love her but I couldn't do that.

 

[Darkholme's Dungeon]

So this whole thing kinda shattered my entire reality of her. But I'm doing about as good as I can be right now. I just wonder how long the troon cult had been silently indoctrinating her.

I'm sorry for your loss, but you should be glad you have dodged a bullet further down the line.
As for how long, it depends. Most of this shit starts with subliminal messaging. Some people are much more vulnerable to subliminal stimuli then others. Others just seem to be able to reject it entirely. People who seem to have a strong sense of self-identity, cynicism and critical thinking skills seem to be more capable of rejeciting it.

@Larry David's Opera Cape
See above.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

I'm sorry for your loss, but you should be glad you have dodged a bullet further down the line.
As for how long, it depends. Most of this shit starts with subliminal messaging. Some people are much more vulnerable to subliminal stimuli then others. Others just seem to be able to reject it entirely. People who seem to have a strong sense of self-identity, cynicism and critical thinking skills seem to be more capable of rejeciting it.

@Larry David's Opera Cape
See above.

I'm trying to picture what kind of subliminal messaging would be directed at a woman chatting on a server related to crochet or gardening that would get her to log on to the troon forum. "The way you talk about pruning your arbor vita is very masculine, have you ever experienced chest dysphoria?"

 

[Plunkie]

I'm trying to picture what kind of subliminal messaging would be directed at a woman chatting on a server related to crochet or gardening that would get her to log on to the troon forum. "The way you talk about pruning your arbor vita is very masculine, have you ever experienced chest dysphoria?"

I mean, I've tried out several Discord servers for general things. When I started out on Arch Linux, I joined a discord for it to ask some questions.

But even that server had a "general" or "meme" channel, usually swarming with trannies that I tended to avoid just because I wanted to know how I fucked up my linux installation

 

[Darkholme's Dungeon]

I'm trying to picture what kind of subliminal messaging would be directed at a woman chatting on a server related to crochet or gardening that would get her to log on to the troon forum. "The way you talk about pruning your arbor vita is very masculine, have you ever experienced chest dysphoria?"

I hope it wouldn't be that retarded (It probably is). But the initial push is subtle. Something innocuous along the lines of seeing the server go "We're happy to welcome the new LGBTQ member(s) who are the cornerstone of our server!".
But usually, I think deep down inside, anyone who takes this bait has some deep, deep dissatisfaction somewhere in life.

But if you are confident in who you are, and that your identity is entrenched so it may not be challenged by such elementary farce then you would likely just ignore it.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

I hope it wouldn't be that retarded (It probably is). But the initial push is subtle. Something innocuous along the lines of seeing the server go "We're happy to welcome the new LGBTQ member(s) who are the cornerstone of our server!".
But usually, I think deep down inside, anyone who takes this bait has some deep, deep dissatisfaction somewhere in life.

But if you are confident in who you are, and that your identity is entrenched so it may not be challenged by such elementary farce then you would likely just ignore it.

Yeah I can't imagine someone who is perfectly happy and normal really being taken in by this shit. But, if she's insecure and guilt- motivated like a lot of liberal women, the need to find some way to become lgbt could be enough.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Troons are a workshy bunch; they have all day and all night to chat on Discord. If someone's looking for a fix of human interaction at off-peak hours, or just a reliable group of pals who are always already there when you log in, it's going to be heavily those troons who live online.

Same as the tranny janny phenomenon, except with providing the illusion of friendship instead of free labor.