Containment What If?

[A-№1]

I was just being

There's nothing inherently wrong with being optimistic about Chris. I mean he could get his shit together tomorrow and start leaving a decent, normal life. You'll just win more bets being pessimistic.

Do you think he still would've "Soul Bonded" with Barb then?

The "Love Quest" could've still been ongoing if not.

Only two things could have prevented Chris from inevitably fucking Barb.

1. Separating the two of them so they're no longer living together.
2. Chris finding a sweetheart from the ground up who was willing to be his Barb replacement fuckmommy, and was even more available than waddling down the hall to Barb's bedroom whenever he felt like doing some soul bonding.

I don't think he would an hero himself,

Chris is too selfish to kill himself.

 

[Ophelia]

Chris is too selfish to kill himself.

And cowardly. And inept.

If he didn’t have toontown, he’d have some other cope. Maybe he’d have been calling himself a prophet had he lived earlier.

 

[TayandYou]

And cowardly. And inept.

If he didn’t have toontown, he’d have some other cope. Maybe he’d have been calling himself a prophet had he lived earlier.

If Chris lived during the Stone Age, would his tribe have considered him a shaman?

 

[Pointless Sperg]

If Chris lived during the Stone Age, would his tribe have considered him a shaman?

Only if you told him twice.

 

[TayandYou]

Only if you told him twice.

That's a good reference right there.

 

[Ophelia]

If Chris lived during the Stone Age, would his tribe have considered him a shaman?

He wouldn’t survived childhood. He might have been left to the elements at an early age throughout most of history.

 

[Hitagi Senjougahara]

What if Chris ends up getting out of prison and becomes a spokesman for the legalization of incest?

 

[PipTheAlchemist]

Any kid raised by Chris would never write a tell all book about how bad of a parent Chris was or even conspire to troll him. They wouldn't have the mental capabilities. They'd be one of those feral children raised by wolves in the forest because Chris would put no effort into raising them right and Barbs too old, lazy, and senile to raise a child these days. Kid probably wouldn't even get toilet trained and Chris would just let them shit on the floor. He dump a pile of baby food on a used paper plate and occasionally hold them but most of Chris's time would be spent playing with toys and video games while screaming at the top of his lungs for the baby to stop crying. If the kid did survive infancy Chris would just plop it in front of the TV all day like his parents did. By the time the kid was old enough to go to school it would be mute, filthy, unsocial, and only able to communicate with others by screaming at them or repeating phrases they learned from the TV. By that time the state would take away the child and Chris would barely notice.

That's honestly the best-case scenario. The most likely situation is Chris kills his kid. Whether via a tard-rage directed at the kid, or just plain incompetence

 

[TayandYou]

What if Chris ends up getting out of prison and becomes a spokesman for the legalization of incest?

That's less of a what if and more like a when.

 

[Yksi_Toveri]

If Chris lived during the Stone Age, would his tribe have considered him a shaman?

My ancestors would have "accidentally" speared him in a hunt.

 

[Nointey]

What if Chris was a gun collector and instead of toys his room was filled with multiple types of guns?

 

[TayandYou]

What if Chris was a gun collector and instead of toys his room was filled with multiple types of guns?

Randy Stair would have been the one contacting Chris from beyond the grave for WCT instead.

 

[Strange Wilderness]

What if Chris was a gun collector and instead of toys his room was filled with multiple types of guns?

He'd be Jace Connors but actually real this time and it would all end with him accidentally blowing his hand off with his Deagle.

 

[Dr. Silvestrechu]

What if Chris is telling the truth and he was just bullshitting to Bella?

It's a horrendously stupid thing to bullshit about, but Chris is horrendously stupid.

Did he bullshit to Null and the police as well?

 

[A-№1]

He wouldn’t survived childhood. He might have been left to the elements at an early age throughout most of history.

This.

At best Chris would have been used as bait in the sabertooth trap.

Of course in the Stone Age, neither Barb nor Bob would have lived to the age where they had Chris, so there's that to consider.

 

[TayandYou]

Did he bullshit to Null and the police as well?

If he's stupid enough to bullshit to Bella, why not?

But he most likely wasn't bullshitting.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

If he's stupid enough to bullshit to Bella, why not?

But he most likely wasn't bullshitting.

Of course he was bullshitting. It was just "big talk", because nothing impresses people like saying you fucked your mom.

(Having said that, I wonder what Chris means when he says "big talk". It might be another CWCism.)

 

[ScaliasGhost]

He'd be Jace Connors but actually real this time and it would all end with him accidentally blowing his hand off with his Deagle.

RIP Deagle Nation

 

[AnOminous]

Of course in the Stone Age, neither Barb nor Bob would have lived to the age where they had Chris, so there's that to consider.

I'm not sure about Bob. He was a smart and competent dude in his early life apparently, and the least unlikeable of the whole family.

 

[A-№1]

I'm not sure about Bob. He was a smart and competent dude in his early life apparently,

Yeah, it's hard to say about Bob without knowing his medical history. He could have been the one out of five who lived past 40. Chris and Barb would have been cave bear chow walking waddling.

and the least unlikeable of the whole family.

Which isn't really saying much.