Seeing Jack in a big-boy outfit makes me think of Bob Dole. He'd put a pen in his contracted right hand (war wound) so it didn't look too weird in photographs or come across like he was making a fist.
Made and shipped from Shenzen, China.
That caption is a blatant lie. Jack is pretty much the embodiment of the "Ugly American" stereotype.
TBF, most "patriots" have a schizophrenic attitude towards the U.S. where they claim to love it but spend most of their time bitching about how teh librulz are "ruining" it and flying Confederate flags the other 364 days of the year.
I love it when Evangelicals try claiming the Founding Fathers as their own, even though in reality they ranged from deist to full-on atheist.
That's the historical knowledge I expect from someone with a beluga whale shaped head that was a communications major drop out.
It's object permanence for a morbidly obese, beluga whale headed moron.
Jack is an asshole but not to the point of QTardism as well. Some of them actually want the U.S. to revert from a mature democracy to a totalitarian dictatorship where Trump is worshipped as a God and everyone that doesn't think like they do is executed by the Military for going against the Rule of Patriots, and some even go further like Nick Fuentes and actively wish that the U. S. be destroyed, rooting for China and Russia to take over, while still claiming to be patriots!
Deists still believe in God.
Yeah but that was a couple weeks ago. He sees other fucktards walking around with patriotic regalia and has to do the same. And while he'll probably go see some fireworks he just won't set them off himself.
Yeah except they tended to be non-denominational and deists with a couple atheists for flavor. In other words they might have believed in God or something along those lines but they'd look at Jagoff and the megachurch he goes to and call that an abomination.
Deists believe in a god, or some kind of supreme being which might not even be conscious. What they don't believe in a God, as in capital G Christian kind of God. If they did, they'd be called "Christians".
Oh god, imagine Jack trying to set off fireworks one-handed/armed. Or for that matter, holding a sparkler. Say goodbye to digit number two, maybe an eyeball too if we’re lucky.
Jack lighting fireworks in his mobility scooter: "Back up Jack. Put it in reverse Jack. Oh Lord, Lord Jesus!"
Now I'm picturing Jack's stroke arm going up in flames after he tries using it to hold a sparkler.
That grease fire ain't gonna be an easy job to extinguish!
In true Jack fashion, I expect the outer layer of skin to be charred and burnt but the rest to be completely untouched.
"Hey guys, welcome to the Cooking With Jack show. I've decided to do something a little different for the Fourth of July. You know how we like cutting the pineapple in mid-air? I just found out there's a kind of firecracker that's nicknamed the pineapple. So I've decided to go ahead and stick a couple of those in this pineapple and see what happens."
