Conrad Aaron Collins / Diginée / Digibro / Digibrony / Otaku Gonzo Journalism & the Pro Crastinators Podcast - Pedophile, Two-Faced Weeaboo Ponyfag Youtube Analyst Who Wants to be a Loli + Drama, Friends & Enemies

As a long time lurker of this thread watching Digi's descent into..whatever the hell he's become has been a strange mixture of hilarity, frustration and sadness. Don't get me wrong, I believed he was a faggot before but he gave a ray of hope to everyone stupidly obsessed with Anime in a "Hey I may be a splerg with lolita hentai posters on my wall but maybe if I dedicate myself to it, I can make a living talking in my hideous room that I don't clean and get paid for it." sort of way. For a while he was semi-decent at the whole analysis shit if not for the simple fact that it seemed like he actually watched what he was talking about unlike 90% of the other "ani-tubers" but he just had to go and fuck it all up and for what? Weed? A girlfriend? Troonshit? If the Trash Taste guys are what successful anime-adjacent youtuber career looks like then Digi represents the opposite of that spectrum.

If nothing else I really think Digi's life as a whole might be the greatest anti-pornography advertisement ever since there's no way someone whose brain wasn't fried off Yuri Yuri porn would make any of the decisions he's made in his life. I'd say he's a likely candidate for the 41% club but given how he's half-assed everything else in his life I think he'll probably just vanish off the web entirely at some point and live off his parents forever but who knows? Maybe his latest venture into shilling MCU will pay off. He always finds a way to surprise me with his horrible decisions. Cheers.
I mean... he always was a massive faggot but he was the dude. Guy talked about cool shit like Haruhi and Pani Poni Dash and he literally had a series detailing how anime was in the 2000s. And really after that anime never managed to live up to expectations, so it declined hard. And that was the magic of watching Digibro, he wasn't like the other sellouts in the anime community, he would give cool recommendations and he made good content. Then all of a sudden guy troons out and all we get is garbage (although that latest Lucky Star video was brilliant aside from the whole 'Konata is literally me' spiel).

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I guess all good things come to an end. This hobby was always fucking cancer.
 
I dont know if this was posted I didnt realize he renamed his channel.


But makes the anime about his sexual issues.

Also I checked out of this thread during the "RV" to the rap battle saga I assume he is homeless living with his parents right?
A now pretty out-of-date post of mine contains all the recap posts from others in reply quotes up to August 2021, with some further updates in Conrad's life I added up to November 2021.
 
Long time digi fan here.I have been observing the dude starting from Useless Anime Knowledge era(2014ish) but since then I grew steadily less and less care about him.I guess I enjoyed his meta-analysis of anime as a entire medium more than his current anime critiquing period/Patreon $5 video era where he start to dwindle down into more and more irrelevancy.
To me the thing that differentiate digi from every other run on the mill Anituber was that like Pause&Select it seemed like he genuinely has passion for the medium to prosper into better levels and have knowledge in it to the point he can analyze general trends with nuance that noone still seemed to achieve on a somewhat high subscriber count.Still to this day people like Gigguk&The Anime Man are more close to advertisers rather than media enjoyers in my eye.
Asterisk War Sucks is still in my opinion one of the best meta-commentary on the direction popular anime was heading at the time and still holds extreme validity on subjects it touches and Conrad back then genuinely seemed to attach to something on a personal level.
Even though starting from the pony era one side of me irk the fact that dude had an massive ego and lolita fetish.That's always without any exception is sign of regression ideal one posits to return a point of some childlike state which to me is essentially his 'Today' era which he somewhat lives in the fantasy of an highbrow while milking his own past experience with no end point,living like an infant looking through screen writing a over extended video script once every 1.5 month.
Weed and someone who literally skinwalk him as his girlfriend(May) just worsened his delusion of grandeur due to his narcissism via arrested development of his teenage years probably.It seemed like this somewhat trauma of him never became solved and just burdened under piles of self-depreciating humor of 'I'm a hobo loser who got paid to do this' and weed wax.
It's just extremely sad to see him regress to the point that he probably wouldn't even recognize nuances of his own previous scripts seeing that after all the time Anime Alphabet essentially is more dumbed down views of his previous writings on subjects with around 6 times more screen time than his earlier scripts(Reminding you that this guy is responsible for statements such as 'if everything can be summarized it should be' and 'you have no time in the world to see everything bad,so rather enjot all the good things medium offers that way you can help it even reach better heights.)
One side of me believes he doesn't even enjoy this facade,it's just that he mentally degraded himself so utterly hard that he can't even watch what made him great back then in the first place.That was why he deleted his past videos back then:Not because of some bullshit 'muh that's not me anymore so I will delete it :(' but rather 'I'm scared of myself in utter fear of existential dread'.I bet it felt extremely bad he had to make them public again.
You didn't grow up Digi,you literally just lost what made you special and mature in grasping a medium in the first place and you lost dignity to acknowledge that to yourself as well.Which is also the reason you have an ever growing weed addiction to disassociate from reality you crampled yourself in now with an ASPD retard hobo as a sidekick to you.
Also for anyone curious for teenage years trauma thing:Watch this video in it's entirety this with text written above in context:
Digi literally self-confessing the reality of the situation.mp4
 
One side of me believes he doesn't even enjoy this facade,it's just that he mentally degraded himself so utterly hard that he can't even watch what made him great back then in the first place.That was why he deleted his past videos back then:Not because of some bullshit 'muh that's not me anymore so I will delete it 'but rather 'I'm scared of myself in utter fear of existential dread'. I bet it felt extremely bad he had to make them public again.
You didn't grow up Digi,you literally just lost what made you special and mature in grasping a medium in the first place and you lost dignity to acknowledge that to yourself as well.
Digi literally self-confessing the reality of the situation.mp4
Video mentioned is "Digibro's Decompression Chamber [Nov.22]". This was peak Digi for me.

In a certain sense I believe Digi when he mentioned becoming the human content machine was a way for him to not have to think about his mental issues. Lots of people run away from problems. But I don't believe Digi suffers from gender dysphoria. I believe being locked in his room on questionable (not saying bad) upbringing, not having any responsibilities aside from his youtube life and mostly online friends didn't turn his crazy either. It was the singular, autistic level focus on anime. I don't think anime promotes transgenderism or LGBTQwhatever agenda, at least not more than western media. But yes, Digi latched onto those elements and the idealized anime form (loli or otherwise). Sometimes I wonder if he brainfucked himself living 24/7 surrounded by young looks anime girl posters. Even though he quit anime youtube, just look at him. Music career not working out? First thing he grabs back to for security? Anime.

I'm saying this as someone who was close to falling down the same rabithole. I spent every waking moment thinking about anime like I was having intrusive thoughts. I think that same think can happen with someone playing World of Warcraft, or being a fan of Lord of the Rings, Star Wars or Star Trek and making those things their identity. But to qoute Ssethtzeentach: "I have a brain parasite; and its called anime."

And now hear me out cause' I'm going to do some heavy armchair psychology here. Why don't Shounen youtubers (people covering, DBS, One Piece, One Punch Man, Jujutsu Kaisen, Black Clover and Chainsaw-man/Bleach TYBW soon) troon out? Right. Because those things are a male power fantasies. He watched a lot of moe stuff and was even hiding the fact from his brothers at first. Now "what is even is 'moe'". I don't know but I don't think it's healthy to keep watching these shows if you're above a certain age, at least watching them unironically. Digi's brain quite possibly imprinted the need for "cute" or "moe" things into his every day life.

I think UB describes the "moé" infatuation part quite well, especially the part about idealized people:


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I bet at a later age, when his looks have truly fallen below the current stage and his brain rotten from drug use, he will have a moment of reflection and see the truth. Probably laughing at how stupid this all was. Unable to go back.
 
Video mentioned is "Digibro's Decompression Chamber [Nov.22]". This was peak Digi for me.

In a certain sense I believe Digi when he mentioned becoming the human content machine was a way for him to not have to think about his mental issues. Lots of people run away from problems. But I don't believe Digi suffers from gender dysphoria. I believe being locked in his room on questionable (not saying bad) upbringing, not having any responsibilities aside from his youtube life and mostly online friends didn't turn his crazy either. It was the singular, autistic level focus on anime. I don't think anime promotes transgenderism or LGBTQwhatever agenda, at least not more than western media. But yes, Digi latched onto those elements and the idealized anime form (loli or otherwise). Sometimes I wonder if he brainfucked himself living 24/7 surrounded by young looks anime girl posters. Even though he quit anime youtube, just look at him. Music career not working out? First thing he grabs back to for security? Anime.

I'm saying this as someone who was close to falling down the same rabithole. I spent every waking moment thinking about anime like I was having intrusive thoughts. I think that same think can happen with someone playing World of Warcraft, or being a fan of Lord of the Rings, Star Wars or Star Trek and making those things their identity. But to qoute Ssethtzeentach: "I have a brain parasite; and its called anime."

And now hear me out cause' I'm going to do some heavy armchair psychology here. Why don't Shounen youtubers (people covering, DBS, One Piece, One Punch Man, Jujutsu Kaisen, Black Clover and Chainsaw-man/Bleach TYBW soon) troon out? Right. Because those things are a male power fantasies. He watched a lot of moe stuff and was even hiding the fact from his brothers at first. Now "what is even is 'moe'". I don't know but I don't think it's healthy to keep watching these shows if you're above a certain age, at least watching them unironically. Digi's brain quite possibly imprinted the need for "cute" or "moe" things into his every day life.

I think UB describes the "moé" infatuation part quite well, especially the part about idealized people:


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I bet at a later age, when his looks have truly fallen below the current stage and his brain rotten from drug use, he will have a moment of reflection and see the truth. Probably laughing at how stupid this all was. Unable to go back.
I don't think it's not watching masculine anime per se, and I don't think it's an issue of being radicalized by anime, but I think that there is something about certain individuals that connect them with certain anime that exacerbate their mental illness. A couple years ago I was reading about a speed date event in Akihabara for otaku, and the woman otaku had two demands one of which was no Love Life fans because apparently they're crazy and weird. Digibro's favorite anime is K-on. Both Love Life and K-on are anime with an all teenage girl cast with an almost exclusive male fanbase n which they basically just talk for 20 minutes, and sometimes play music. I've watched a few episodes of Love Life, and I found it extremely boring, I don't understand the hype at all. I've never watched K-on because by its reputation I know I wouldn't be interested but there are men who find those anime intensely fascinating though so I don't think that the anime is changing them, I think it just worsens whatever is already there. I think these litmus test anime are Moe anime that are made by adult men for adult men, that create a fantasical idealized version of teenage girl life. Take a look at Sailor Moon for example, which was made by an adult woman for teenage girls; as far as I know no troon is interested in Sailor Moon at all. and yet they're obsessed with Love Life, K-on, Lucky Star etc. so I don't think it's an issue of liking manly anime or not, I think it's an issue of liking Moe Slice of Life anime
 
I don't think it's not watching masculine anime per se, and I don't think it's an issue of being radicalized by anime, but I think that there is something about certain individuals that connect them with certain anime that exacerbate their mental illness. A couple years ago I was reading about a speed date event in Akihabara for otaku, and the woman otaku had two demands one of which was no Love Life fans because apparently they're crazy and weird. Digibro's favorite anime is K-on. Both Love Life and K-on are anime with an all teenage girl cast with an almost exclusive male fanbase n which they basically just talk for 20 minutes, and sometimes play music. I've watched a few episodes of Love Life, and I found it extremely boring, I don't understand the hype at all. I've never watched K-on because by its reputation I know I wouldn't be interested but there are men who find those anime intensely fascinating though so I don't think that the anime is changing them, I think it just worsens whatever is already there. I think these litmus test anime are Moe anime that are made by adult men for adult men, that create a fantasical idealized version of teenage girl life. Take a look at Sailor Moon for example, which was made by an adult woman for teenage girls; as far as I know no troon is interested in Sailor Moon at all. and yet they're obsessed with Love Life, K-on, Lucky Star etc. so I don't think it's an issue of liking manly anime or not, I think it's an issue of liking Moe Slice of Life anime
I don't think you two are even really disagreeing here.

Men generally don't compete with women, so they sometimes end up seeing women as a refuge from the people who have power over them. Women compete with other women constantly, so the idea that femininity is this paradise of cuteness and friendship feels stupid and dishonest to them. The problem anime all play into this by showing sad, isolated men a world devoid of male judgement, which causes them to associate all their problems with their gender, because they don't understand women enough to notice that these shows leave out female judgement as well.

Sailor Moon uses cute imagery, but the girls in that show deal with real problems and anxieties, some of which tie into being female. Makes sense; it was written by a woman.

If someone was obsessed with tv shows where literally all problems were caused by a racial minority, you wouldn't be surprised when they started acting racist in real life. Consuming a shitload of media where removing all masculinity creates a world of pure comfort plays out the same way.
 
To quote the late Shinichiro Watanabe as he lied upon his deathbed telling his beloved children Himiko and Naruto how disappointed of them he was:

"Anime was a mistake."
 
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To quote the late Shinichiro Watanabe as he lied upon his deathbed telling his beloved children Himiko and Naruto how disappointed of them he was:

"Anime was a mistake."
I always more gravitated towards Hayao Miyazaki's version: anime made by people who only consume anime was a mistake. What he was worried about was anime glorifiying anime for the sake of it, instead of artistic pursuit.

The only thing that always bothered me about this statement was that when Hayao Miyazaki made his fame there was way more money available for production. Newer productions need to advertise or sell and we all know why ecchi anime exist; sex sells. You actually need money and a lot of it to go for that full artistic persuit without pandering.
 
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This was peak Digi for me.
Same for me:Which is why it baffles me even more so that everything he talks and criticizes in that video applies to him now even more than the time he is refering.It makes me genuinely feel bad for him(even if it's all self-inflicted).
I always more gravitated towards Hayao Miyazaki's version: anime made by people who only consume anime was a mistake. What he was worried about was anime glorifiying anime for the sake of it, instead of artistic pursuit.

The only thing that always bothered me about this statement was that when Hayao Miyazaki made his fame there was way more money available for production. Newer productions need to advertise or sell and we all know why ecchi anime exist; sex sells. You actually need money and a lot of it to go for that full artistic persuit without pandering.
I think the problem now is that his critique of self-insert parody of anime mocking degenerate fans trope being harmful is become standart of anime at this point and it seems like an normative approach nowadays that created it's self-circuit of incesteous relationship with itself on a microcultural level like fans are degenerate,anime is encouraging degeneracy(or at least abjection from normal behaviour),anime affirms itself via fans to produce more to of this shit,anime fans feel catharsis even though they don't do anything substantial to help themselves.
From Miyazaki's own work(I've mainly watch Mononoke and Spirited Away)it seems like he has an pretty anti-escapist outlook on life which is admirable to say the least.
To me he kinda hates that his main audience is the utmost single thing he despises most which is degenerate losers that make the capital afloat.
Video mentioned is "Digibro's Decompression Chamber [Nov.22]". This was peak Digi for me.

In a certain sense I believe Digi when he mentioned becoming the human content machine was a way for him to not have to think about his mental issues. Lots of people run away from problems. But I don't believe Digi suffers from gender dysphoria. I believe being locked in his room on questionable (not saying bad) upbringing, not having any responsibilities aside from his youtube life and mostly online friends didn't turn his crazy either. It was the singular, autistic level focus on anime. I don't think anime promotes transgenderism or LGBTQwhatever agenda, at least not more than western media. But yes, Digi latched onto those elements and the idealized anime form (loli or otherwise). Sometimes I wonder if he brainfucked himself living 24/7 surrounded by young looks anime girl posters. Even though he quit anime youtube, just look at him. Music career not working out? First thing he grabs back to for security? Anime.

I'm saying this as someone who was close to falling down the same rabithole. I spent every waking moment thinking about anime like I was having intrusive thoughts. I think that same think can happen with someone playing World of Warcraft, or being a fan of Lord of the Rings, Star Wars or Star Trek and making those things their identity. But to qoute Ssethtzeentach: "I have a brain parasite; and its called anime."

And now hear me out cause' I'm going to do some heavy armchair psychology here. Why don't Shounen youtubers (people covering, DBS, One Piece, One Punch Man, Jujutsu Kaisen, Black Clover and Chainsaw-man/Bleach TYBW soon) troon out? Right. Because those things are a male power fantasies. He watched a lot of moe stuff and was even hiding the fact from his brothers at first. Now "what is even is 'moe'". I don't know but I don't think it's healthy to keep watching these shows if you're above a certain age, at least watching them unironically. Digi's brain quite possibly imprinted the need for "cute" or "moe" things into his every day life.
I think he has no true attachments like anime ever in his life which is also extremely distressing-He used his development years on an allure of an obscure hobo personality and on obsessive alternative reality to hide himself towards.
I do agree that moe is extremely degenerate also.I remember trying to watch Manabi Straight because digi was suggesting(and I wasn't aware of his mental pit yet) and feeling extremely repulsed from it.It's so uncanny like 'noone acts like this irl and you shouldn't support this'.I think he was subconsiously feeling shame via his acts which is why he tried to cover(back then-nowadays his receptors are probably fried to anything complex to reach in emotional state via weed which probably increase his grandeur self image).
On the irony thing,sure it's possibility on how unreal situations in it occurs but to me digi use it as an cope ailment to hide his true intent of regression(It's not like I am that degenerate-While covering my room with 15 year old girls like an literal creep)
Shounen does have mostly teenager audience that uses character tropes there to idolize and grow with it on a pyschological level but even then you would expect 30 something year old person like digi would grow out of that to more complex literary levels like idk actual literature maybe (or at least more mature analysis of it as an literary trope) but he's a manchild with dwindling mental capacity so no I guess.
Also glad you didn't pitholed yourself in same manner as Digi Keeper,seeing people at least not degenerating is always a good thing even on a fundamentally humanist standpoint
"Anime was a mistake."
Rather entire allure of it back then gathered bunch of degenerates to the point they became the majority of audience which in turn created a market system for degeneracy pandering entertainment to make themselves affirm their detachment from reality.
It's just that as time goes on with development of tools in average consumers hand it's more easy to  convince yourself of doing significant rather than actual development.
There's still probably good anime being made(or at least tried to being made-I'm looking at you Konaka) but in an oversaturated market with majority of audience expecting something to smirk rather than actually experience different through repetitive standardization each season(with major broadcasters further encapsulating this notion straight out of something like Infinite Jest) it's getting less likely.
 
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If you want to find a red flag in Digi's life for trooning out it isn't moe, it's MLP. When Digi decided to go on his way to join the 41% he took most of the PCP with him with ease, and it's no wonder he did, if you take a quick look at the brony community you'll find out troons are pretty common there. They even got Chris Chan.

The brony fandom hinges on the belief that it's okay to be girly, that they are dudes who like My Little Pony and they are cool for it. They follow the shitty meme/mantra that is "love and tolerance" religiously, writing copious amounts of sexually degenerate fanfiction to prove how tolerant they are. That leads to troonery.
 
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Thanks for this, it was very informative. I was a long time fan and even once I started not liking the content towards the end of the May relationship, I tried to keep up with what was going on with Digi, but around the trooning was around when I started to tune out almost completely. Only the May kidnapping and May breakup really got me coming back for a while wondering what was going on. In some ways it feels like I missed a lot and not much at the same time. Definitely going to have to go back through the pages of this thread and some of the Ygg-era content to get further context.
 
I'd say he's a likely candidate for the 41% club but given how he's half-assed everything else in his life I think he'll probably just vanish off the web entirely at some point and live off his parents forever but who knows?
Digi's parents will likely die when he is between the ages of ~40-50. At that point, their considerable assets will be distributed among Conrad and his two brothers. I would guess that Conrad only manages to make that money last 5 years at the very most. At this point, he will be very old, ugly, and unhealthy, and the amount of drugs that he needs to just feel decent will be higher than ever before. He will probably not have a single friend in his life left that is interested in anything other than sharing drugs. He will find himself as a penniless, haggard middle-aged troon whose last friends have dumped him now that he has no money left for drugs (including whatever HRT blend he's taking at that point). It will be a life so miserable that even a wimp like Conrad will start thinking hard about 41%ing. (This assumes that his drug habits haven't already killed him by this time, which is also highly likely.)
But makes the anime about his sexual issues.
In a certain sense I believe Digi when he mentioned becoming the human content machine was a way for him to not have to think about his mental issues.
Conrad is in his 30's now, and still obsessed with his teenage experiences. Conrad's problems--social awkwardness, loneliness, sexual frustration, feeling overwhelmed by having to make decisions about his future, and so on--are all completely normal things for teenagers to experience. Contrary to all the elaborate excuses and psychoanalysis he has attempted to do, Conrad's story is not special at all. He's just holding onto all of that because it's the only substance he has...

The thing about addictions is that they slowly eat away at your humanity. Every other concern in your life shrinks and is eventually forgotten, and if your addiction progresses to a certain stage, every piece of your personality is reshaped to chase that supply. Conrad has two broad addictions: Drugs (substance abuse) and narcissistic supply (confirmation of his self-image, an aspect of pathological narcissism). The process of hollowing out seems complete at this point: Every relationship he has feeds these two addictions: His parents give him money, which he spends on drugs, and seem to play along with his gender bullshit. Riley gets him drugs and confirms his gender identity. Bird does drugs with him and confirms his gender identity by being his boyfriend. His old friends seemed to play along with the gender identity part, but did not help him get drugs, so they had to be discarded. It seems like that old nostalgia and "introspection" about his earlier years are like looking at a more complete, more human version of himself. But even this is fading: As he reimagines all of those memories as being part of his gender identity, they too are being lost as perhaps the last aspect of Conrad that is fully human.

I appreciate that video that was linked above of a younger Digibro trying to recall his experiences with teenage depression. I've watched that video multiple times, and it is one of the best commentaries on depression I've witnessed. This is the kind of thing that, as he observes, an older person can't remember in such detail. I think by the time I was 25, it would have been too late for me to remember those experiences in that level of detail. It's remarkable that in 5.5 years, Conrad has regressed to such a degree. I don't know what else to say about it.
 
Where else is there for people like him to go?

How does he grow up?
The answer would be forcing himself to grow up by surrounding himself with people that make him not being able to regress since from all of my observation he totally lacks self-control and discipline and needs restraint from outside effect(due to it affecting his perception of outside hurting his narcissistic ego)
The problem is at this point everybody left around him are either
A.people who enable his behaviour to grift more(Riley,Bird,Mint)
B.people who accept him no matter what since they have no other choice left(his parents)
And he lacks any credibility&personal nuance to trade for that deal of people giving enough of a fuck to him to help him on a genuine level.
To be honest at this point he lives in a such a facade that he even distances and tries to eradicate his personality to a nothingness,I don't even think he could perceive something that human if I'm being honest here.
 
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Conrad is in his 30's now, and still obsessed with his teenage experiences. Conrad's problems--social awkwardness, loneliness, sexual frustration, feeling overwhelmed by having to make decisions about his future, and so on--are all completely normal things for teenagers to experience. Contrary to all the elaborate excuses and psychoanalysis he has attempted to do, Conrad's story is not special at all. He's just holding onto all of that because it's the only substance he has...
One traditional explanation of narcissism is that narcissists are too insecure to fully separate from their parents, so they have a hard time understanding that the care and attention they get is a result of the parents choosing to provide it. Instead, they end up seeing friends and family as appendages, where your mother giving you money is as obvious as your own hand putting food in your mouth.

The problem is they feel like literally nobody exists except for them, so they can't form real relationships. Everyone they meet is just different shades of being more or less like the narcissist, the idea of "getting to know" someone does not compute because, at least emotionally, there is only one person. Human inner life is mostly made out of connections with other people, so narcissists waste their lives trying to fill the void with generic validation (the source of attention doesn't really matter because the narcissist is almost a blank slate anyway) and judging the world by how much it superficially resembles themselves (narcissism isn't just being egoistic, it's trying to turn the world into a mirror).

One of the weirdest things about watching Digi's downfall over the last few years has been the realization that there's just not much to him. All those opinions which made him famous weren't based in any deep convictions, and those friends he rose with quit mattering the moment they became inconvenient. He was just a whiny, insecure kid who tantrum'd his way into a 50k/year career, then tantrum'd his way out; and now that it's over he's a vegetable who stammers out clickbait for weed money.
 
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