Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[cactus]

Tess saw how much attention and sympathy she got for the mere act of stepping on a LEGO and decided she needed to ramp it up like most narc liars do when they need a dopamine hit.

Maybe she did step on a piece of plastic, but it barely did any damage, it just hurt, and she decided to exaggerate for them asspats.

Edit: I'm half asleep, just realized you said the same thing in not so many words.

 

[formerfatcow]

The truth comes out

 

[Meiwaku]

The truth comes out
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Message from scrote:

You know I think you're really beautiful, but I liked you mostly out of spite for my ex who idolizes you and it wouldn't be fair to anyone if i pursued this. I'm actually really flattered but a famous model I'm hot enough though, haha

Holy shit LMAO this is why he didn't say "you're cute" back! Imagine being a spite date LMFAOOO serves you right bitch

He is being very generous to call you a famous model though giving that you no longer do any work...

 

[idomyfoodbucketlist]

The truth comes out
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That's... humiliating. And bizarre? I'm getting troll vibes from this guy. Something just feels really fishy here.

 

[M.T. Graves]

Jesus Christ, why would she post that? That’s not cute or quirky or anything like that. That’s straight up sad and makes her look like a joke. Any attention is good attention for her I guess.

 

[NoReturn]

You fail hard as a suppahmodel, when a Texan farmer lady outshines you in charisma. I checked Melissa's Instagram. She seems to be fun. And she hasn't managed to write about her amazing meet up with her fam Tess. But she and hubby were in Joshua Tree. Which may be more worth sharing.

She and her husband seem like genuinely delightful people.

The truth comes out
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Comments on that one:


The follow up:

That's... humiliating. And bizarre? I'm getting troll vibes from this guy. Something just feels really fishy here.

Tess has my sympathy, but she shouldn't feel humiliated about this. The dude just seems like a complete weirdo. That's not on her.

 

[Alpaca Autopsy Expert]

Wow, Tess seems to be matching up with a lot of white men on these dating apps. Didn’t she set her preferences to “any gender” and “any race”??

 

[TheGoodNamesHaveBeenTaken]

I think the entire date was a made up story.
Now it comes out he did it to spite his ex?

I didn't watch the video but I assume we are hearing this all from tess?
The end result is all her followers rally around her and pat her ass.
She would rather have that than a good date.

 

[multiverse]

I think the entire date was a made up story.
Now it comes out he did it to spite his ex?

I didn't watch the video but I assume we are hearing this all from tess?
The end result is all her followers rally around her and pat her ass.
She would rather have that than a good date.

Two different guys. The one who said his ex was obsessed with her was explaining that he only liked her profile because of that and wasn't actually interested in going out with her; he has never met her.

The guy she had one date with was horrified that she'd been oversharing all about him on social media and told her he's not interested in having his personal business blasted online like that.

These two separate humiliations are something she thinks is good content. Which is why she will die alone.

 

[Daddy's Little Kitten]

"magnetic personality"

Because she's a fucking planet.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

Two different guys. The one who said his ex was obsessed with her was explaining that he only liked her profile because of that and wasn't actually interested in going out with her; he has never met her.

The guy she had one date with was horrified that she'd been oversharing all about him on social media and told her he's not interested in having his personal business blasted online like that.

These two separate humiliations are something she thinks is good content. Which is why she will die alone.

This is helpful because if it was the same guy it wouldn’t make any sense.

Jesus Christ, why would she post that? That’s not cute or quirky or anything like that. That’s straight up sad and makes her look like a joke. Any attention is good attention for her I guess.

She likes to think that she’s bagging on “mediocre white guys” but the thing she doesn’t seem to realize is that this is all she has. It’s a lot like her pretending to be queer or gay. She has no real options but pretends she does which falls apart the moment she tries to date these guys she supposedly can’t stand.

She thinks she’s part of the in crowd laughing at the outsiders/low status guys when she’s outside looking in. It aligns perfectly with her brother revealing that Tess was a bully versus the bullied and her reputation for shit talking people the moment they’re out of earshot. She seems to dish/bash these guys but the difference is these guys aren’t just trolls to her, she tries to be with them. No woman she knows is ever going to point this out to her so it’s up to us.

Tess will never acknowledge she’s a low status woman. So she will keep getting into these situations because she refuses to acknowledge reality and find solutions. If she wants better guys, she’s going to have to lose weight and change her attitude, which isn’t going to happen at this point.

 

[Grand Duke Snowfall]

With all this talk about the sand and her stench I’m just wondering. How often does she actually clean herself? So many areas of her body have to be impossible to reach. How long until we get a post about her getting stuck in a bathtub a la President Taft?

 

[lamp shade]

"The public life was not for him."

That's his way of saying she's weird for posting all about the date, but you know Tess interprets it as him not being ok with the cELeBriTy LiFeStyLe.

 

[TheGoodNamesHaveBeenTaken]

The truth comes out
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Looks like she's wearing clown make up there.
You know how some people get a few procedures done and then just keep going until they look like some sort of alien?

Tess is like that with make up and fillers.
Somehow she thinks she looks good in that.
She doesn't look good, she doesn't look human.
It looks like a pair of wax lips came to life.

 

[Water-T]

Jesus Christ, why would she post that? That’s not cute or quirky or anything like that. That’s straight up sad and makes her look like a joke. Any attention is good attention for her I guess.

I think something is off here, but I suspect this is all manufactured by Tess for attention, or to "prove" her ka-weer-ness, or judging from the line about the ex, it's some bizarre "take that" aimed at Nick. The most likely explanation is that the guy is real, but either stood her up or bailed in the middle like the last guy did and she made this text up to save face.

The whole "famous model" and "you're so beautiful" crap sounds exactly like how a fake text from a narc would sound like.

EDIT: OK, so I saw her follow up video, and it's all still a clown rodeo.

I love that line about "mediocre white men", when that's all Tess pursues despite getting reject by them over and over and over again. It says a lot about her when "mediocre white men" are the only people she can draw her dating pool from.

That whole "HE COULDN'T HANDLE MY HIGHLY VISIBLE CELEBRITY LIFESTYLE!" is 100% grade A bullshit. Dude ghosted her and Tess made that up to save herself the embarrassment.

 

[NoReturn]

Follow-up#2

She likes to think that she’s bagging on “mediocre white guys” but the thing she doesn’t seem to realize is that this is all she has. It’s a lot like her pretending to be queer or gay. She has no real options but pretends she does which falls apart the moment she tries to date these guys she supposedly can’t stand.

Tess will never acknowledge she’s a low status woman. So she will keep getting into these situations because she refuses to acknowledge reality and find solutions. If she wants better guys, she’s going to have to lose weight and change her attitude, which isn’t going to happen at this point.

Tess lacks any of the things necessary to attract the sort of man she wants.
She's not physically attractive enough to bag one on looks alone, but she also lacks the personality that might outweigh (heh) her body as well. She could also have tried the "female breadwinner" approach and snagged herself an attractive house-husband, but she can't afford that either.

 

[Gramlol]

"The public life was not for him."

That's his way of saying she's weird for posting all about the date, but you know Tess interprets it as him not being ok with the cELeBriTy LiFeStyLe.

And he's right- if I found my date posting my text messages and blabbing endlessly about me to hundreds of thousands of followers before we met, no way will dating feel comfortable. Because any slight offence will be posted online. It's like a person in a bad marriage knowing a partner can call an in-law to side against them, except this time it's hundreds of thousands of Instagram idiots. You'd worry about getting cancelled for not paying for dessert.

Filming yourself incessantly is such young teen behavior, it's not compatible with being treated like a normal adult.

 

[rocknrollmartian]

And he's right- if I found my date posting my text messages and blabbing endlessly about me to hundreds of thousands of followers before we met, no way will dating feel comfortable. Because any slight offence will be posted online. It's like a person in a bad marriage knowing a partner can call an in-law to side against them, except this time it's hundreds of thousands of Instagram idiots. You'd worry about getting cancelled for not paying for dessert.

Filming yourself incessantly is such young teen behavior, it's not compatible with being treated like a normal adult.

Yeah, and this happened with Nick, especially when things really soured and their breakup was imminent.

Trying to be in a relationship with Tess would be a nightmare for hundreds of reasons. Her nasty narc insecure peabrain wants constant affirmation, validation, ego inflation, and attention, plus she's moody, needy, and bitchy on top of being a histrionic oversharing perma-victim on social media.

 

[Water-T]

And he's right- if I found my date posting my text messages and blabbing endlessly about me to hundreds of thousands of followers before we met, no way will dating feel comfortable. Because any slight offence will be posted online. It's like a person in a bad marriage knowing a partner can call an in-law to side against them, except this time it's hundreds of thousands of Instagram idiots. You'd worry about getting cancelled for not paying for dessert.

Filming yourself incessantly is such young teen behavior, it's not compatible with being treated like a normal adult.

Exactly. Dude must have seen her video where she gets needy and unfairly accuses him of bailing on their date merely because he wasn't propping up her fragile ego frequently enough to satisfy her., or thinking that there was something wrong with him just because he didn't compliment her at the time of her choosing.

No ration person is going to put up with that, because it'll just get worse with bitchy narcs like Tess.

It's a vicious cycle: Tess acts toxic like this because all her prior men in her life left her, but also they left her precisely because she acted so toxic to them. Until Tess realizes that she's too selfish, clingy, and demanding, she'll never make it past the first date.

 

[Meiwaku]

Exactly. Dude must have seen her video where she gets needy and unfairly accuses him of bailing on their date merely because he wasn't propping up her fragile ego frequently enough to satisfy her., or thinking that there was something wrong with him just because he didn't compliment her at the time of her choosing.

No ration person is going to put up with that, because it'll just get worse with bitchy narcs like Tess.

It's a vicious cycle: Tess acts toxic like this because all her prior men in her life left her, but also they left her precisely because she acted so toxic to them. Until Tess realizes that she's too selfish, clingy, and demanding, she'll never make it past the first date.

The funnier part is I don't think the dude just "saw her video", dumbass probably sent him her entire socials and tiktoks about him or whatever.