The Great Gunt Bounty Hunt - Ethan Ralph is on the run like a greased pig telling everyone they will never find him. Inevitably, they will. Post clues and speculation here.

  • 🐕 I am attempting to get the site runnning as fast as possible. If you are experiencing slow page load times, please report it.
Status
Not open for further replies.
I think the thought of literally everywhere you go it would take 1 person to recognize you and boom, your location is outed. Every fast food run, every Wal-Mart trip, every everything is a potential sighting. While he may be short, he is definitely recognizable. Even to people who have never used or heard of KF. Even some mega fan thinking they are cool because they spotted Ralph somewhere and took a picture ruins the whole game.
Fortunately for us he is incapable of taking the DSP approach to being paranoid. WWE Champions just doesn't hold a candle to a real casino. He's also too proud to admit to poverty and use it as an excuse for never going more than a half mile from the pigpen. So there will be far more opportunities for sightings out in the wild.
 
OK, so we have a couple new developments:

1) Greased Pig really thinks he can outsmart all his AAAYYY-LAWGZ so so far he hasn't doxed himself outright like he once did. Since 320 W Danner has a driveway running to the back yard, I find it likely that the Guntatruck will be parked behind the house as to hide it, not only from us but from the repo guys. Dunno how long Pantsu and Rozy will stick around in West Memphis though, so Meigh's car may not be there for very long, or it may get parked in back with the truck.

2) It's likely that Ralph will take all the junk in his former pigsty that he couldn't bring on a plane, load it in the Guntatruck, and hit the road for Arkansas. I'm not sure if Greased Pig could drive for 12 hours straight, given his physical condition. Even healthy people have gotten blood clots and suddenly slumped over fucking dead while driving from trying to drive for a half-day or more straight, only stopping for food, gas, and to use the little pig's room.

After a while Ralph's pants are gonna start "biting" into the bottom of his gunt. Considering the size of the gunt, it could happen in only a few hours. PL: I had this happen to me when I was a lot fatter, and normal sized people have no idea how fucking PAINFUL it is to have the top of your jeans biting into the bottom of your gunt to the point that it leaves deep red creases. After a while you simply HAVE to stop and rest. On top of that, Ralph's spindly legs are gonna start aching and get numb from lack of blood flow.

I'm not sure he could drive from Richmond to West Memphis in one fell swoop, which of course doesn't mean he won't try.
Yeah I like to tour Historical Sites in various places so I've done a few long drives, Ypres to the Swiss border following the WW1 Battlefields, part of the old Silk Road from Tehran to Mt Bisotun and down to the ruins of Persepolis, etc long drives like that take it out of you, you have to stop and walk around for a while to get the circulation back and restore your concentration which goes numb after hours and hours of just road.
If you don't take breaks you end up daydreaming and rear ending a truck.
Longest I did was Seattle to New Orleans. It took me 5 days. Never again.
I still say Ralph is a couple hundred miles of Richmond. It would take a day to get to Memphis and back and he has too much stuff to fit in the Gunt Truck, I can't see him making that drive two or three times.
 
Last edited:
It would take a day to get to Memphis and back and he has too much stuff to fit in the Gunt Truck, I can't see him making that drive two or three times.
I don't actually think he has much to move since he himself has said new place is furnished. That to me says no bulky furniture which means basicly his :story: studio:story:which is already at West Memphis. Everything that Ralph owns minus furniture could fit in a Chevy Spark.
 
I don't actually think he has much to move since he himself has said new place is furnished. That to me says no bulky furniture which means basicly his :story: studio:story:which is already at West Memphis. Everything that Ralph owns minus furniture could fit in a Chevy Spark.
didn't he also say he was selling his old furniture? I swear i saw a clip or tweet about this.
 
Ethan ain't moving to Mexico, ya really think he could stand being around Mexicans every day and not get killed for the pure Ralphamale energy he exudes?

Any place he can afford in the US is gonna be jank. If he's lucky it'll have a new coat of paint and the cheapest LVP from Home Depot put down, but it'll be some crap house with questionable remodeling no matter what.
 
Ethan ain't moving to Mexico, ya really think he could stand being around Mexicans every day and not get killed for the pure Ralphamale energy he exudes?

Any place he can afford in the US is gonna be jank. If he's lucky it'll have a new coat of paint and the cheapest LVP from Home Depot put down, but it'll be some crap house with questionable remodeling no matter what.
Ethan Ralph has embraced to wigger self and has moved into a ghetto. He da realest nigga out dere mane.
 
Ethan Ralph has embraced to wigger self and has moved into a ghetto. He da realest nigga out dere mane.
He was already living in the ghetto. Just not in shitty row home or apartment complex. Virginia's largest prisoner reentry programs are based in his part of richmond and is where they home felons and sex offenders.
richmond.png
it's hard to see because of all the sex pests, but ethans home is directly center
 
He'll dox himself within a week of moving. He's way too stupid to keep a secret. He's going to film himself giving a tour in his newest crack shack, living large to own the ahogs, and reveal some piece of identifying information.
I've seen people doxed from the reflection in their eyes, airplane sounds, and an energy drink. Ralph would basically need to disable his webcam and talk to his audience with text to speech to truly avoid getting dawkxt.
People are just overthinking it. I mean maybe Uncle Howard decided to be his fairy goduncle but it’s more likely Ralph just found another cheap crappy place to rent, in the more rural areas west of Richmond.

Ralph’s options are limited. He’s poor, he’s “self-employed”, he’s got a criminal record and bad credit. If Pantsu left him getting a cheap white trash rental for a single man is way easier than a place for baby mama, baby and pets. He might have a few more choices if Pantsu is around to put her non-felon name on the lease, but Ralph finding a shitty place without a family in tow is easier.
Why would Ralph try to rent a place without Pantsu and his child? People are much more likely to rent to families than convicted, unemployed felons. How hard is it to assemble a decent pic of the Ralph family alongside a cutesy story to boost his odds of getting the place he wants. At least that's my experience renting. It's hard enough for a single working man to get a place to rent since everyone wants to rent to women and families first, i don't imagine Ralph's situation makes it better.
 
Last edited:
Okay hear me out, what if Ethan Ralph is actually the vessel for a fallen angel like in that one movie with Denzel Washington and he knows he can do whatever the fuck he wants and live wherever because we actually don’t know he can just switch bodies and become someone else.
if he could switch bodies why the fuck would he stay in that beater
 
I've seen people doxed from the reflection in their eyes, airplane sounds, and an energy drink. Ralph would basically need to disable his webcam and talk to his audience with text to speech to truly avoid getting dawkxt.

Why would Ralph try to rent a place without Pantsu and his child? People are much more likely to rent to families than convicted, unemployed felons. How hard is it to assemble a decent pic of the Ralph family alongside a cutesy story to boost his odds of getting the place he wants. At least that's my experience renting. It's hard enough for a single working man to get a place to rent since everyone wants to rent to women and families first, i don't imagine Ralph's situation makes it better.
Are you kidding? I mean maybe it’s a bonus for a married couple, with a stable employment history who are looking for a house in a nice suburb after a job transfer.

Ralph is a fat unemployed drunk who looks like a trailer park boys side character that has a baby mama, infant and three fucking pets. They might as well be holding a sigh “I’m going to trash your place with dirty diapers, food smeared on walls and cat shit.”

I own rental properties and I try my damndest to avoid renting to people with small kids and more than one pet.

But a unemployed, unmarried couple with a new baby (plus pets) is almost a guaranteed cluster fuck. Landlord is going to get fucked when they spilt up and the baby gets used to extract sympathy or pity.

I don’t think landlords base decisions on cute family photos, but if any do they definitely wouldn’t rent to Ralph and Meigh.
 
Are you kidding? I mean maybe it’s a bonus for a married couple, with a stable employment history who are looking for a house in a nice suburb after a job transfer.

Ralph is a fat unemployed drunk who looks like a trailer park boys side character that has a baby mama, infant and three fucking pets. They might as well be holding a sigh “I’m going to trash your place with dirty diapers, food smeared on walls and cat shit.”

I own rental properties and I try my damndest to avoid renting to people with small kids and more than one pet.

But a unemployed, unmarried couple with a new baby (plus pets) is almost a guaranteed cluster fuck. Landlord is going to get fucked when they spilt up and the baby gets used to extract sympathy or pity.

I don’t think landlords base decisions on cute family photos, but if any do they definitely wouldn’t rent to Ralph and Meigh.
This right here. Ralph has no employment history for at least 15 - 20 years. Even his LLC is less than 2 years old and its debatable that he's filed any proper taxes as Gator has told us he's used it to funnel gambling losses on the business PayPal. May is also unemployed. At this point, any location that isn't a crackhouse would require either a under the table cash deal, a co-signer which would mean Harry, Howard or an incredibly stupid Cozy streamer / paypig.

During this current financial climate housing costs have gone through the roof and have made rental prices shoot up as well as place rental properties in high demand. This allows landlords right now to be choosey. Any halfway intelligent landlord just has to run a background check (which is pretty standard) and all of a sudden you get revenge porn, felony assault, restraining orders and links to a site called "Kiwi Farms" documenting every terrible thing this guy has done, lol.

As much as people like to think there are ways around the law and bureaucracy, unless they are wealthy enough to buy people off and not care with a lot of extra costs, or willing to live an incredibly broken and shitty lifestyle, the world, the law and the government will almost always catch up to you.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back