The Stop Drinking (or using other substances) thread - Hello, my name is "kiwi farmer", and I am an alcoholic.

[mindlessobserver]

Was a casual drinker up until 2020. Played indoor soccer a couple times a week and was in the best physical condition of my life. Then the pandemic happened. The stress level at work went through the roof and I ended up going through a break up. I started drinking every night. Stopped sports. Beers turned into hard liquor. I've gained a lot of weight. I stopped seeing my friends. I've lost interest in any of my hobbies. Clearly I'm depressed.

Recently I've been trying to pull my head out the sand and have been fighting to not drink. I'm very much an alcoholic that is drawn to the sauce like a moth to a light. It's like I'll make the decision to not buy a bottle of liquor and then when I'm out driving or I go to the grocery store, my rational thoughts completely disappear and I just go into robot zombie mode.

I've been reading your guys' posts and I'm very much considering the advice of the of the more helpful Farmers. Wish me luck.

Depression is definitely a symptom of alcohol overuse. Rather perversely it also makes you want to drink more.

 

[Fliddaroonie]

Was a casual drinker up until 2020. Played indoor soccer a couple times a week and was in the best physical condition of my life. Then the pandemic happened. The stress level at work went through the roof and I ended up going through a break up. I started drinking every night. Stopped sports. Beers turned into hard liquor. I've gained a lot of weight. I stopped seeing my friends. I've lost interest in any of my hobbies. Clearly I'm depressed.

I hit that point a whiles back. It's a very easy hole to fall into, and I found myself doling out self-recrimination to myself a whole lot over it. Please don't whale on yourself for it, if you are? What I found I needed was a little bit of kindness towards myself, as "hurdurr, Flidda you're a piece of shit for letting this happen!" was totally was not working, and was making me more depressed, leading to more drinking, and it's a vicious circle. You can do this, frend <3

 

[mindlessobserver]

I hit that point a whiles back. It's a very easy hole to fall into, and I found myself doling out self-recrimination to myself a whole lot over it. Please don't whale on yourself for it, if you are? What I found I needed was a little bit of kindness towards myself, as "hurdurr, Flidda you're a piece of shit for letting this happen!" was totally was not working, and was making me more depressed, leading to more drinking, and it's a vicious circle. You can do this, frend <3

Just too add. Alcohol weight drops off quick. People forget just how many calories are in liquor. If physical well being and appearance is important, watching that weight crater can be very motivating. I lost 20 lbs on my first quit attempt in 3 months.

 

[Iron Jaguar]

I was drinking pretty much every night for the last...IDK...five years or so. My work keeps me active and I also do regular weight training, but I was starting to get way too fat.
I stopped drinking beer and soft drink about 6 weeks ago, and also cut out all sweets/desserts etc. I basically have no sugar in my diet, and the excess weight is steadily dropping off. I actually lost 2 kg within the first week.

 

[mindlessobserver]

Managed to go to a restaurant/bar and not order a beer. Withdrawal is hitting me like a ton of bricks right now. Just a headache and a lack of appetite no shakes or any of that stuff thank God.

4th of July is coming up God help me. Everyone I know is going to be getting hammered. If I can get past that I think I will be on the right track. Really have to try and stop this time, as I started noticing psychological symptoms. Mostly irrational anger/fear. I also started making dumbass posts on the farms. Not good signs.

 

[field rice mouse]

Managed to go to a restaurant/bar and not order a beer. Withdrawal is hitting me like a ton of bricks right now. Just a headache and a lack of appetite no shakes or any of that stuff thank God.

4th of July is coming up God help me. Everyone I know is going to be getting hammered. If I can get past that I think I will be on the right track. Really have to try and stop this time, as I started noticing psychological symptoms. Mostly irrational anger/fear. I also started making dumbass posts on the farms. Not good signs.

Have you talked to your relatives about this? You mentioned it after your Easter episode and if you prepare this time you can avoid getting off track again. If you really have to drink then set a hard limit and never ever drink when in a bad mood.

Was a casual drinker up until 2020. Played indoor soccer a couple times a week and was in the best physical condition of my life. Then the pandemic happened. The stress level at work went through the roof and I ended up going through a break up. I started drinking every night. Stopped sports. Beers turned into hard liquor. I've gained a lot of weight. I stopped seeing my friends. I've lost interest in any of my hobbies. Clearly I'm depressed.

Recently I've been trying to pull my head out the sand and have been fighting to not drink. I'm very much an alcoholic that is drawn to the sauce like a moth to a light. It's like I'll make the decision to not buy a bottle of liquor and then when I'm out driving or I go to the grocery store, my rational thoughts completely disappear and I just go into robot zombie mode.

I've been reading your guys' posts and I'm very much considering the advice of the of the more helpful Farmers. Wish me luck.

If you can go back to indoor soccer and reaching out to your friends and explain your situation to them (and hopefully they can understand) I think it would be a good start. I have a friend with similar alcohol and depression issues caused by lockdowns to the point where he burned bridges with friends. He also tried to return and mend those friendships although a bit guarded. I hope things can work out well with you and him.

 

[mindlessobserver]

Hit Day 7, I think I am over the hump. Last 4 days have been brutal. Became really depressed, lost all energy and generally just moped around the house being super unproductive this weekend. Also had unquenchable thirst, which was delightful.

Woke up this morning feeling alot better. Still have a splitting headache but it's slowly fading.

Now comes the hard part.

 

[Goyslop Muncher]

I don't remember if i posted this already but here's what made me mostly quit for good. One day about a year ago I woke up with the worst hangover I'd ever had. 10x worse than normal. I looked up my symptoms and i think I had the beginning signs of Wernicke syndrome. Also known as wet brain. After about two days of recovery I didn't feel the same but I was "normal". Now a year later I feel mostly back to normal but I still have some symptoms that started after that hangover that haven't gone away. I'm hoping they do eventually.

 

[mindlessobserver]

Headaches have finally stopped. For the most part. Mostly just a dull ache behind my eyes, but nothing too serious. Still waking up feeling hung over in the morning, but it's nothing a cup of coffee doesn't fix. Seems I also developed a furious caffeine addiction on top of everything else lol.

The fact that it took over 2 weeks to get through withdrawal is pretty motivating to press on, as I don't want to have to do that again. At the stage where I've accepted I have to be "that guy" at any parties or social functions who literally cannot have one drop. Still feel the reflex urge to be drinking something when not working. Coping that itch with lemonade. It's not the same

 

[XYZpdq]

I took a break for a few days from drinking to make sure I could sleep soundly and not have bugs under my skin and shit, that wasn't an issue.
but holy shit was I feeling that lack of carbs since I bike my ass around everywhere and sucking down beer is cruise control for carb

 

[mindlessobserver]

I took a break for a few days from drinking to make sure I could sleep soundly and not have bugs under my skin and shit, that wasn't an issue.
but holy shit was I feeling that lack of carbs since I bike my ass around everywhere and sucking down beer is cruise control for carb

Spaghetti and Rice are good for making up the lack.

 

[XYZpdq]

Spaghetti and Rice are good for making up the lack.

yeah I was def MORE PASTA
not having to boggle about booze soaking into the rice and pasta was nice too

 

[Slobs]

I'm trying to quit drinking for probably the 100th time at this point. I feel like this might be the one though, and the sad thing is that I'm not doing it because I found the motivation. In fact it's the opposite, I'm extremely exhausted, more than I ever have been. I've been depressed and lethargic for a long time but lately I can't bring myself to do anything at all, not cook, not eat, not entertain myself, not read, not think, even turning over in bed sucks the life out of me. I've heard that alcohol can deprive you of nutrients, and I suppose this is what 10 years of being deprived of them does to you.

I've accepted that I can't ever fully recover or get back everything that I've lost, but I'm hoping that at the end of this I'll have a life worth living again. I hope that those of you who are on the fence about quitting will start the process earlier than I did, and with a lot more sincerity than I ever gave it.

 

[Goyslop Muncher]

I've heard that alcohol can deprive you of nutrients

Start taking a B complex vitamin. Also d3 and k2 together will help a lot with depression.

 

[Mittens]

I'm trying to quit drinking for probably the 100th time at this point.

I have a lot of experience with this if you want any help. Although, 4/5 of the alcoholics I have known and cared about are dead at this point. Can't claim I have a good success rate.

Basically quitting sucks to do, and over a significant period of time -- not like ripping a bandaid off quick, and you have to really really want it in order to endure. A contest of wills.

And that's the easy part, the hard part is staying dry. The relapse rate is depressing.

Personally I say always look on the bright side, that you're trying to quit is better than dudes drinking mouthwash to stop shaking.

 

[Goyslop Muncher]

I'm trying to quit drinking for probably the 100th time at this point.

Have you tried Suboxone? I was on it for a while and it helped a lot during my worst. If you asked a doctor for it they'd write you a script, but depending where you live you might have to go to a psychiatrist to get it. It's worth a shot.

 

[Slobs]

I have a lot of experience with this if you want any help. Although, 4/5 of the alcoholics I have known and cared about are dead at this point. Can't claim I have a good success rate.

Basically quitting sucks to do, and over a significant period of time -- not like ripping a bandaid off quick, and you have to really really want it in order to endure. A contest of wills.

And that's the easy part, the hard part is staying dry. The relapse rate is depressing.

Personally I say always look on the bright side, that you're trying to quit is better than dudes drinking mouthwash to stop shaking.

Yeah, I've managed to quit for a while before, usually lasts only a couple months but managed an entire year once. Family events, seasonal events, and things like stores stocking up big piles of cheap beer because it's the summer are really rough when you're in the early stage of quitting. What always seemed to get me after staying sober for a while though was family and friends suggesting that it'd be fine to have a drink or two with them now that I was "better", with comments like "it's fine to enjoy yourself" or "it takes the edge off", but for an addict that's not a slippery slope it's a fucking pitfall.

Have you tried Suboxone? I was on it for a while and it helped a lot during my worst. If you asked a doctor for it they'd write you a script, but depending where you live you might have to go to a psychiatrist to get it. It's worth a shot.

They wouldn't prescribe that here, not for alcoholism at least. Not to mention Suboxone can be dangerous and addictive in itself.

 

[Buff Wellington]

Yeah, I've managed to quit for a while before, usually lasts only a couple months but managed an entire year once. Family events, seasonal events, and things like stores stocking up big piles of cheap beer because it's the summer are really rough when you're in the early stage of quitting. What always seemed to get me after staying sober for a while though was family and friends suggesting that it'd be fine to have a drink or two with them now that I was "better", with comments like "it's fine to enjoy yourself" or "it takes the edge off", but for an addict that's not a slippery slope it's a fucking pitfall.

They wouldn't prescribe that here, not for alcoholism at least. Not to mention Suboxone can be dangerous and addictive in itself.

A running joke in rehab in my state was that if we ever came back, say that we were heroin addicts to registration.... its much easier to get appropriate meds, have insurance cover your stay, and even have some job security.
As it was, I had an entire 5th in me when I went - they were overall pretty happy, because it made the paperwork much easier.

I remind myself every day how hard it was to quit, and it thankfully makes even having a beer no longer worth it.

 

[thejackal]

I was drinking pretty much every night for the last...IDK...five years or so. My work keeps me active and I also do regular weight training, but I was starting to get way too fat.
I stopped drinking beer and soft drink about 6 weeks ago, and also cut out all sweets/desserts etc. I basically have no sugar in my diet, and the excess weight is steadily dropping off. I actually lost 2 kg within the first week.

Pretty much where I'm at. I was consuming probably about 30 units on average a week for the last 5 years. Really during the pandemic I went from a few drinks every few days to a few (or more) drinks every night. Started turning into fat and I found myself about 25lbs heavier then I was even with regular working out and staying active. I mean I can still bang out some pretty intense workouts and miles on the treadmill but at my age it's time to either figure it out in moderation or descend into full blown alcoholism.

Today is day 5 with no booze at all. I haven't had a single physical withdrawal symptom which is awesome and something I was worried about (guess I'm not quite a hard case yet) but sleep is a bit hit or miss (2 nights have been great, two have been OK at best) but the mental gymnastics are hard. Funnily enough I bought a six pack the other night and haven't touched it, which is something I never do if it's in the fridge. I told myself I'd buy some so if I was bored and wanted one I'd go ahead and just have some around. Maybe it's actually helped me stay abstaining, knowing it's just a short walk into the kitchen away.

Boredom is probably the hardest part after work. I'm currently single so don't have a partner to shoot the shit with and pretty much all my friends are drinking buddies as well. Just watching a lot of TV and playing some vidya or doing a little basic workout.

The thing I notice the most is just how much better my emotional IQ is already. I can shoot the shit at work and get things conveyed to the clients so much better. That is a great reward. I think I'm going to try and go two weeks and then see how it goes from there with moderation. I've been reading a lot of stuff about successful moderators and it's something the rehab industry tries to keep hidden. But there are a lot of people that were heavy drinkers that figured out how to moderate in middle age.

 

[Fliddaroonie]

Pretty much where I'm at. I was consuming probably about 30 units on average a week for the last 5 years. Really during the pandemic I went from a few drinks every few days to a few (or more) drinks every night. Started turning into fat and I found myself about 25lbs heavier then I was even with regular working out and staying active. I mean I can still bang out some pretty intense workouts and miles on the treadmill but at my age it's time to either figure it out in moderation or descend into full blown alcoholism.

Today is day 5 with no booze at all. I haven't had a single physical withdrawal symptom which is awesome and something I was worried about (guess I'm not quite a hard case yet) but sleep is a bit hit or miss (2 nights have been great, two have been OK at best) but the mental gymnastics are hard. Funnily enough I bought a six pack the other night and haven't touched it, which is something I never do if it's in the fridge. I told myself I'd buy some so if I was bored and wanted one I'd go ahead and just have some around. Maybe it's actually helped me stay abstaining, knowing it's just a short walk into the kitchen away.

Boredom is probably the hardest part after work. I'm currently single so don't have a partner to shoot the shit with and pretty much all my friends are drinking buddies as well. Just watching a lot of TV and playing some vidya or doing a little basic workout.

The thing I notice the most is just how much better my emotional IQ is already. I can shoot the shit at work and get things conveyed to the clients so much better. That is a great reward. I think I'm going to try and go two weeks and then see how it goes from there with moderation. I've been reading a lot of stuff about successful moderators and it's something the rehab industry tries to keep hidden. But there are a lot of people that were heavy drinkers that figured out how to moderate in middle age.

If you don't mind me asking, do you think alcohol free beer might help with being on booze focussed social situations? So much socialisation is tied with drinking it can be isolating. I've found that helps me personally. Cocktail bars especially, are in my experience very happy to make lovely alcohol free drinks too which is nice.

I found having cigs in the flat helped me kick smoking too. Knowing they were there if felt I needed one meant I didn't want one, perversely.

Whatever is working for you though, I hope it continues.

And I totally get the better mental feeling. Work is super stressful but my manager has noticed I'm taking stuff well and coping great which is amazing.