Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[I am Jack's dead arm]

This looks like what that Dyno-Rod employee encountered when he lifted the drain cover off of Dennis Nilsen’s septic tank.

Reading that text aloud sounds so…childlike. Aside from the “BIRRA” misspelling, the vocabulary is so pedestrian and juvenile. Jack really can’t express himself like an adult at all lol. And he’s adding different seasonings to adjust the flavor to his liking? Great. Pretty much guaranteed that this abomination he’s creating will taste nothing like Birria, therefore defeating the purpose entirely since it won’t be the legit dish. And anyone he serves it to will be clueless and give him a quizzical look upon Jack telling them it’s BIRRA, since the taste is bound to be way off.

Let me guess, he adds a shitton of salt, a bottle of basic bitch hot sauce, and 12 unchopped thawed out garlic cloves.

 

[Staffy]

View attachment 3492304

Nice, a bucket of medical wastee

Edit: the liquid literally looks like the nasty gunk or sewage that seeped in some mummy's sarcophagus, which everyone also wondered about.

 

[Sev07]

Get you sponsor

 

[Adamska]

View attachment 3492304

First off, very cool Jack figured out why stews are so useful. Second, nice job, he somehow made an even worse version of the same thing he just did; will really justify to the IRS why he's trying to cheat them on food bills there. Thirdly, it's called a consomme if you're just talking about the birria water you dip on the quesabirria. Fourthly, hooray we're gonna be spammed with this shit like we used to get spammed with his fucking terrible and repetitive chilis; really trying to undo the death of the channel right there.

Oh, and before I forget: lastly, Jack has once more fucked up the difference between stews and soups. I legit don't understand how the fuck he keeps doing this. He does this with these two and he does the same fucking thing when talking about dough vs. batter. How in the fuck can you be this consistently wrong.

 

[Fialovy]

View attachment 3492760

Get you sponsor

August is comfort food month? Isn't most popular comfort food, like more for cold weather?

 

[Whatthefuck]

August is comfort food month? Isn't most popular comfort food, like more for cold weather?

Yeah, I legitimately don't understand what stroked out fever dream made him think August in the South was the time to start thinking comfort food. Trust and believe, it's the last fucking thing we're thinking about.

You know, he could have done a Southern cooking series that would both cater to his disgusting need for all the fat and present actual Southern summer food. He could have done pimento cheese, fried green tomatoes, potato salad, jello salad. Look, I'm not saying it's pretty or palatable, but is any of his shit anyway? At least it's a coherent series.

 

[Pig Cups]

View attachment 3492760

Get you sponsor

Every time I see garbage like this, I can’t help but wonder just how much TJ Services would’ve charged for their graphic design work, since they’ve *clearly* demonstrated that they have the expertise.

I once debated contacting them to try and get a quote, but decided against it. Anything above 11¢ would be too exorbitant anyway.

 

[Joe Mayo]

For those unclear, this video explains the phenomenon beautifully.

Great scene. Dennis Hopper and Christopher Walken have amazing chemistry.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

Also, was he always this rude or is this the result of ongoing soul rot that he has experienced over the years? He generally looked a lot more upbeat in the old days (he was always a douchebag though) but then again its to be expected after his stroke and now failing channel.

Oh no he's always been a rude asshat to everybody but back then it seemed to be tempered a bit. Now? He's just a boomer getting angry because he's a boomer.

Wow, so lazy, you can just throw it in a pot and simmer it? How crazy is that. Dumbass doesn't even know that birria literally is stew.

But this one has that special Jagoff twist to it that makes it simpler to make and winds up tasting worse but he's okay with it because it takes less time.

For those unclear, this video explains the phenomenon beautifully.

Totally off topic but this is possibly the best scene in the movie. Two acting legends speaking Tarantino.

Oh, and before I forget: lastly, Jack has once more fucked up the difference between stews and soups. I legit don't understand how the fuck he keeps doing this. He does this with these two and he does the same fucking thing when talking about dough vs. batter. How in the fuck can you be this consistently wrong.

It's because his chili always has the consistency of soup. As such he doesn't know what a proper stew looks like.

August is comfort food month? Isn't most popular comfort food, like more for cold weather?

Depends on what you consider comfort food.

Spoiler: comfort food sperging

As far as I'm concerned it's food that makes you feel better or is something you eat when you've had a hard day and just want a little something good.

My idea of comfort food? A freshly baked baguette, some soft cheese like a camembert or blue brie with bonus points given if it's a washed rind cheese or one made with raw milk, some olives, some cold cuts like prosciutto, coppa or just plain ham, assorted veggies and a glass of red wine. Maybe two. When I'd come home with that Mrs. Sebben would know I just had a bad day. Luckily she likes that stuff as well.

It doesn't have to be a bowl of Grandma's chicken soup.

Yeah, I legitimately don't understand what stroked out fever dream made him think August in the South was the time to start thinking comfort food. Trust and believe, it's the last fucking thing we're thinking about.

You know, he could have done a Southern cooking series that would both cater to his disgusting need for all the fat and present actual Southern summer food. He could have done pimento cheese, fried green tomatoes, potato salad, jello salad. Look, I'm not saying it's pretty or palatable, but is any of his shit anyway? At least it's a coherent series.

Yeah but that takes effort and as much as he likes to consider himself part of the South, he's not. He doesn't like Southern food unless it's BBQ and then he's all in.

 

[AnOminous]

He doesn't like Southern food unless it's BBQ and then he's all in.

He doesn't even like most kinds of Southern barbecue and is confused when it isn't what he gets at some strip mall chain restaurant.

 

[EatBeforeYouEat]

We can add Birria Tacos addiction to Jack's ever-growing list of vices. He has been talking about em for like 3 weeks now.

 

[rubytintedchix]

If Jack and Tammy could have waited 3-4 additional months, they would have had their pick of an actual pure BREAD beagle of their choosing, for free or at least for a nominal cost for rehoming.

 

[Adamska]

He doesn't even like most kinds of Southern barbecue and is confused when it isn't what he gets at some strip mall chain restaurant.

He threw a fucking baby tantrum and stopped his gluttony tour early over Carolina style only using pork because he also wanted Beef and how dare places he went to not have beef. Even though nine times out of ten the fat fucker orders pork ribs; the only beef he tends to go for being brisket.

Absolutely pathetic.

 

[Super Hans]

He threw a fucking baby tantrum and stopped his gluttony tour early over Carolina style only using pork because he also wanted Beef and how dare places he went to not have beef. Even though nine times out of ten the fat fucker orders pork ribs; the only beef he tends to go for being brisket.

Absolutely pathetic.

God forbid regional tastes exist. But wasn't he also just bitching that tacos in SoCal are better than whatever slop he gets at strip joints?

 

[Joe Mayo]

If Jack and Tammy could have waited 3-4 additional months, they would have had their pick of an actual pure BREAD beagle of their choosing, for free or at least for a nominal cost for rehoming.

Given the way Jack treats HOPE, I'd say those beagles dodged a bullet. Besides, Jack wanted a puppy so he could use it as a prop to breathe life into his ailing channel.

He threw a fucking baby tantrum and stopped his gluttony tour early over Carolina style only using pork because he also wanted Beef and how dare places he went to not have beef. Even though nine times out of ten the fat fucker orders pork ribs; the only beef he tends to go for being brisket.

Naturally. Only Kansas City, Texas and Santa Maria-style BBQ use beef, because the Great Plains, Texas and California all raise cattle, whereas the Deep South uses pork because pigs are cheap to raise and don't need much land.

 

[AnOminous]

Given the way Jack treats HOPE, I'd say those beagles dodged a bullet. Besides, Jack wanted a puppy so he could use it as a prop to breathe life into his ailing channel.

And all he really did was show he's so fucking dumb he doesn't even know what a beagle is and got gypped with a fake one.

 

[Pig Cups]

I know, I know…off-topic…

Great scene. Dennis Hopper and Christopher Walken have amazing chemistry.

Fun fact: The laughing and “you’re a cantaloupe” were unscripted. It was just left in because it worked so well.

Totally off topic but this is possibly the best scene in the movie. Two acting legends speaking Tarantino.

I consider it my favorite in all of film. The usage of the Flower Duet from Lakmé in conjunction with Hopper essentially committing suicide by pissing Walken off is genius, given that the duet occurs at a point in the opera when the titular character also commits suicide. Better that than having the room silent (like in Django) imo.

 

[RL Steinbeck]

For those unclear, this video explains the phenomenon beautifully.

While I can’t confirm eggplant specifically, I can say Jack’s definitely part vegetable.

 

[AnOminous]

His ego is so fragile and when he got called out, he went deflected and went on the defensive. Goddamn Jack, you fucking cried on national tv. You have a wife and kid, and you break down like a child. Hahahaha.

And instead of coddling him they gave him a look of utter contempt and basically called him a phony faggot to his face.

 

[EatBeforeYouEat]

Excuse my apprentice-level photoshop skills. I do not have a $3000+ macbook.