Grace Lavery / Joseph Lavery & Daniel M. Lavery / Mallory Ortberg - "Straight with extra steps" couple trooning out to avoid "dwindling into mere heterosexuality"

[escapegoat]

Micah is so unhinged that Jesse Singal, upon discovering that Micah compared him to Goebbels and called for his execution by hanging, basically just backed away slowly.

That dude’s got a fucking screw loose, and when they finally find his dungeon full of mutilated animals and snuff porn, no one will be surprised.

All of which bodes very badly for Cliffe.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

Wild that a community that Gretch constantly contributes to that spins up hatred and bile to bring down others would actually do this. They never seem to realize that their targets are actually one of the good people this time and that it shouldn't be allowed.

“They” the Twitter (?) community, or “they” Gretchen?

 

[AirdropShitposts]

“They” the Twitter (?) community, or “they” Gretchen?

All of em, the mob is never supposed to turn back on you because you're the protagonist.

 

[Trianon]

A not-at-all-unhinged Mallory update:

 

[Law]

As far as her husband, if you asked her I'm sure Nicole would say Steve was thrilled to be cucked by a giant troon and playing sugar daddy by proxy.

I'm here for transwidow Steve. I hope he comes here and vents.
I'm really interested in the stories of men who end up with FTMs. The younger ones just seem like scumbags who will use enby-troon-cultspeak if it means they get to touch a vagina. But the older ones, with marriages and kids? I wonder what goes on there.

Who actually hangs with, let alone hooks up with the troon who writes JKR death fanfic?

An insane woman who's having a manic phase?

I'd actually interpret posting pictures like this as a kind of power play (being overly prissy about your house is a middle class thing; upper class people can afford to not care because they already have social power, so what are you going to do about it?)

Big Martin Shkreli livestream energy.

Gretchen is driven into a murderous rage whenever someone doesn’t react to his kingly ideas and performances the way he wants.

Dis gon be good.
When will Gretch the Wretch get a thread?

Is Nicole in some weird competition with Mallory?

A Dumb-Off? The Life Ruination Olympics? A Race to the Bottom?

 

[David Glowie]

That dude’s got a fucking screw loose, and when they finally find his dungeon full of mutilated animals and snuff porn, no one will be surprised.

All of which bodes very badly for Cliffe.

I predict an abuse arc. Cliffe writing interminable screeds with the word "gaslighting" in every paragraph and Gretch screeching that society just has it in for beautiful trans wammenz while spraying a Hot Allostatic Load all over the place.

 

[Law]

of which bodes very badly for Cliffe.

"Why are you calling me a final girl when I'm clearly non-binary transmasc?"

 

[Prescription Bugs]

I know we’re supposed to be jerks and all here on the farms but the resurrection of this thread and the milk available here, quality and full of photo documentation, is just, well it has made my week.

Thanks guys. Top notch material. Excellent catch!


Now back to being an asshole!

 

[Law]

Maybe Manic Phase Nicole read Manhunt and was so repulsed and terrified by its contents that she decided becoming "girlfriends" was a way to stop Gretch from hunting her down and burning her alive, or whatever it is he publicly fantasizes about doing to wealthy white women?

Steve can afford brand-name Lithium so I don't know what his angle is here. I hope the kids are with a nanny or something while Mom e-dates fat men who probably have skeletons in their closets and on their hard drives.

Gretch strikes me as a hardcore grifter who is only here to soak up Nicole's clout (when you're spiritually merged with Twitter being a Toast founder is like being a best-selling author I guess) and proximity to money (will he buy boat-sized lingerie on Steve's credit card?).

Maybe Mallory will retaliate by becoming girlfriends with Kevin Gibes? Seriously how do you top this?

 

[homewayhalf]

The speculation that Mallory must be seething over this…. I don’t see it. It’s not like Nicole turned lesbian with someone else. Gretchen is a man. Mallory knows she isn’t, part of the reason why she’s a ball of terminal cope. It’s not like Nicole changed sexualities and bypassed her.

 

[Octavia]

Jesus fucking Christ. I just read the OP since this thread was the most recently bumped one and the title intrigued me.
Never has a post on KF made me feel sick, not even spoiler tagged neovag butchery, until this OP. I refuse to believe that Joe didn't gaslight his partner into cutting ties with their family and permanently mutilating themselves, it's truly sickening. It should honestly be considered domestic abuse. It's disgusting that he gets paid 100k to indoctrinate people at university.

Go ahead and hat me since I'm not contributing anything, I deserve it.

 

[Law]

The speculation that Mallory must be seething over this…. I don’t see it.

She seethes about a lot of random stuff.
I could also see her secretly being glad that Nicole is now in for a rough, embarrassing time if the speculation that she secretly hates Nicole is correct. But she can't say "oh dating a transwoman is hell watch out Nicole" because of her relationship with Joe.

It’s not like Nicole turned lesbian with someone else. Gretchen is a man. Mallory knows she isn’t, part of the reason why she’s a ball of terminal cope.

Everybody knows Stretch(pants) Gretch is a man, including Gretch. But Mallory can't say that he's a man, otherwise the entire house of cards that her life is built on unravels.
Even if Mal isn't seething, this is still quite the plot twist.
I expect either manic grand-gestures or depressive pizza-n-cryposting from Mallory.

 

[Boris Blank's glass eye]

Maybe Mallory will retaliate by becoming girlfriends with Kevin Gibes? Seriously how do you top this?

Becoming gorlfriends with Kev only to cuck him with Fedposter J or even Boss Troon Pennywise himself. I wonder if that'd be enough to make Kevkev move back in with his poor mother or send him on a couchsurfing odyssey.

 

[Law]

Becoming gorlfriends with Kev only to cuck him with Fedposter J or even Boss Troon Pennywise himself.

Don't threaten me with a good time! Now I'm going to be disappointed when she just stays home and does nothing.

 

[jellygender]

Everybody knows Stretch(pants) Gretch is a man, including Gretch. But Mallory can't say that he's a man, otherwise the entire house of cards that her life is built on unravels.
Even if Mal isn't seething, this is still quite the plot twist.

Yes, I don't know that Mallory is still actively pining over Nicole; that was a pretty long time ago. But at the end of the day, Nicole still chose a dude over her – creamy acres of a dude – so it can't feel great.

Nic + pre-T Mal would have been a vastly preferable relationship outcome for each of them, and a vastly preferable outcome for the world at large. It is curious that they are both women who ended up seeking self-destruction via severely damaged, sadistic MTF cuckoos.

 

[Prescription Bugs]

Yes, I don't know that Mallory is still actively pining over Nicole; that was a pretty long time ago. But at the end of the day, Nicole still chose a dude over her – creamy acres of a dude – so it can't feel great.

Nic + pre-T Mal would have been a vastly preferable relationship outcome for each of them, and a vastly preferable outcome for the world at large. It is curious that they are both women who ended up seeking self-destruction via severely damaged, sadistic MTF cuckoos.

I guess I just don’t get the rules of attraction for millennials. Is the new rule, “I’m attracted to anyone who is going to get me internet attention?”

He no cute. He no sexy. He write rape fantasy. He acres of imitation Mrs. Doubtfire.

 

[cherrysour]

I want to see every KiwiFarms user b*rned al*ive.

Cool. Counterpoint: he WNBAW.

I do feel kind of bad for La Cliffe, though. You don’t volunteer to rub antifungal ointment onto Micah’s south 40 from a place of life satisfaction and high self-esteem. Not to mention what happens to the rich girl in Manhunt.

Spoiler

Her boyfriend eats her alive while armed TIMs kill her friends and destroy her apocalypse bunker.

I guess I just don’t get the rules of attraction for millennials. Is the new rule, “I’m attracted to anyone who is going to get me internet attention?”

He no cute. He no sexy. He write rape fantasy. He acres of imitation Mrs. Doubtfire.

He’s the Comic Book Guy with a close shave and Goth lipstick.

 

[White-Kettle Shufflepunk]

I guess I just don’t get the rules of attraction for millennials. Is the new rule, “I’m attracted to anyone who is going to get me internet attention?”

It‘s basically super old-school: attraction is a choice. Just like how we used to give gay people or folks in arranged marriages shit for not powering through sex they were incapable of enjoying, not we extend that treatment to anyone whose sexuality is rooted in something tangible rather than another person’s sophistry.

 

[Aunt Carol]

A not-at-all-unhinged Mallory update:
View attachment 3508832

Mallory's most successful writing has been short, light-hearted pastiches or comedic rewrites of classic authors. Weird Al does that and has well-received original work.

You hate in others what you hate in yourself.

 

[Law]

You hate in others what you hate in yourself.

This could be added to the thread title honestly.
Shoutout to Nicole for being a wealthy white woman who's a writer, who dates an unhinged psychotic lardball who wrote and published an entire book about how he wants to murder and torture wealthy white women who are writers.