Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[Meriasek]

I was thinking, I feel like Fatrick goes to great lengths to avoid the term "cyberbully". Like, it's the most fitting term for what's happening to him. I can't really call the OnA Rascals stalkers, because they haven't had to stalk anything. Fatrick freely provides all the information, he keeps the same publicly known phone number, and responds to everyone, including the cyberbullies.

This is the same person who uses infantilizing terminology in so many other ways (calling people child, telling people to "be quiet when the adults are speaking", referring to "time-outs" and "tantrums"). Why would he avoid the most apt childhood term for his opponents: bullies?

Maybe he was bullied really bad in school, and he wants to avoid using the term because it makes him feel weak? Like, calling them 'stalkers' makes him feel more self important or something?

Anyway, I feel like a strong emphasis on how he's being bullied and can't stop his bullies might tilt him. Use his habit of infantilizing others back on him.

I'd say he knows he's gonna get bombarded with the "How the fuck is cyberbullying real" pic if he called it cyberbullying, but that would imply he can actually think that far.
So I think you're right, he won't consider it "bullying" because he thinks of himself as a big strong man who is above such childish things. Instead he is under ATTACK, under THREAT by STALKERS and CRIMINALS who want to destroy his life because he's a political firebrand or whatever, and not just a fat retard that's easy to poke. Fat's being the posterchild of unwarranted self-importance as usual.

To be fair, he is a big man. As in, monstrously fat. Never forget that.

 

[SixPennyWalnut]

If he never pays it, that means he can never have more than a couple hundred dollars in his bank account at any given time, he can never have savings or retirement, he can pretty much never do anything nice. Also, his wife is on the hook as well. So Quasi will get to garnish whatever she is making at that SEO company. It probably won't ever get paid but it doesn't change the fact that their lives are ruined over it

Both of their credit ratings will be completely decimated by it. They were probably low anyway, especially since she’s already been declared bankrupt.

 

[RazorBackBacon]

This is the same person who uses infantilizing terminology in so many other ways (calling people child, telling people to "be quiet when the adults are speaking", referring to "time-outs" and "tantrums"). Why would he avoid the most apt childhood term for his opponents: bullies?

He wants to be the adult in the room. Childhood bullies don't bully the teacher. If he calls his trolls cyberbullies, he puts himself on the same developmental level as them.

 

[Ophelia]

Is there fucking anything this fat retard doesn't try to put himself adjacent to? If you brought up the Columbia disaster he'd tell you all about his totally real 2nd uncle who was in mission control when it happened.

aTalkers forced my great uncle twice removed to ram the Titanic into an iceberg, infant.

My second cousins perished on Alderaan, child.

I was thinking, I feel like Fatrick goes to great lengths to avoid the term "cyberbully".

Everyone gets bullied.
Important celebrities and icons get stalked.

 

[SeniorFuckFace]

This shit is gold...

 

[SixPennyWalnut]

I love that his cousin is called Jake Raven and that he’s an actual elite sniper with a beautiful family.

It’s so on the nose it’s hilarious. He literally looks like Pat put though a filter to look handsome and in shape.

It’s too good to be true.

 

[Spunt]

A cool, handsome sniper called Jake Raven sounds like a character in a terrible Tom Clancy ripoff/fanfic novel. I would say it sounds like a character Pat would write, but Pat would call him "Sniper McShooty" and make him a teenage lesbian.

 

[MilkThePig]

I would say it sounds like a character Pat would write, but Pat would call him "Sniper McShooty" and make him a teenage lesbian.

A teenage transgender non-binary lesbian marine......IN SPACE!!

 

[Johnny Anal Beads]

"My name is Magnum Gunner, and I'm here to eat bratwurst and blow Fonald Plump's head off.

...and I'm all out of brats."

So then he viciously sucked off the Space President... IN SPACE!!

 

[ImportantOpinions]

Ever since the judge ordered him to pay Quasi's attorney fees, he's behaved like he's on the Amazing Race. Vacation after vacation after vacation after vacation. Luxury hotels, expensive steakhouses, stay for 10 days it's not like you have a job to get back to. I mean off the top of my head, Chicago, Detroit, DC, Hawaii, Las Vegas, Los Angeles, Denver, Costa Rica, Tampa, I think somewhere in Kentucky or Tennessee where he bragged about going to a Mexican restaurant and ordering en espanol.

Remember, this is Patrick Tomlinson, the toughest motherfucker in the world who cries that the FBI should arrest everyone that hurts his feelings. The current plan is to pretend he's a successful author with the time and money to vacation anywhere he pleases, before telling Jerry Jen he's bankrupt and can't pay Quasi. The problem is sweaty, we already figured that out.

The Nadolski incident proved he's a stupid lying baby who resorts to THAT DID NOT OCCUR THAT DID NOT OCCUR when things don't go his way, but that was just him not getting a restraining order. This is him intentionally and publicly ignoring a court order, smugly confident that he'll suffer no consequences. The only outcome is I fought the law and I won. Which is funny because he might go to jail over this. He perjured and fabricated evidence in the lawsuit. He perjured himself again with Nadolski, lying that he never sent texts back to Andrew egging him on.

That's how this ends. It won't be as satisfying as CWC getting arrested for mommy sex, but Piggy getting thrown in the pen because he couldn't tell the truth will be a wonderful day to shitpost. Can't wait to see the dumb facial expression in his mugshot.

 

[r00]

I love that his cousin is called Jake Raven and that he’s an actual elite sniper with a beautiful family.

It’s so on the nose it’s hilarious. He literally looks like Pat put though a filter to look handsome and in shape.

It’s too good to be true.

The sad reality of his ridiculous life is far more engaging than the wildest garbage fiction he could ever shit out, but he is too much of a clueless, self-important narcissist to ever draw from it.

 

[Meriasek]

A cool, handsome sniper called Jake Raven sounds like a character in a terrible Tom Clancy ripoff/fanfic novel. I would say it sounds like a character Pat would write, but Pat would call him "Sniper McShooty" and make him a teenage lesbian.

Shooter Goodhitson, part time full spectrum combat instructor, part time political firebrand. His enemies are trying to get him... But they're just children compared to him.
OC donut steal

 

[Ophelia]

It won't be as satisfying as CWC getting arrested for mommy sex, but Piggy getting thrown in the pen because he couldn't tell the truth will be a wonderful day to shitpost. Can't wait to see the dumb facial expression in his mugshot.

With CWC, satisfaction was mixed with horror because of the nature of the crime. It was also tempered by the knowledge that he’d have an easier time because he’s a tard and trans. Patso facing consequences for money crimes and being treated like everyone else will be an unmitigated delight.

 

[Fartificial Insmelligence]

Credit to fricklefrackle over on the OnAForums. Here's a table of piggy's reddit stats:

View attachment 3516491

Cuckold Personals, Fatrick?

 

[Pat's Pointer Finger]

is this an edit or is r/autism really one of his top subs?

He had a thread or two in r/autism and also a few in r/idiots where he responded to every post for months. Those numbers are real

 

[AnOminous]

Some of the funniest stuff on the site is cataloged in this thread, like the Eurhythmics phone call remix and that image from the OP where multiple impersonators are all Childing each other on Goodreads. Even the absurd stuff like Wookietexting becomes more funny than it has any right to be. I've genuinely laughed out loud at Patrick way more than any other lolcow.

For some reason I bust a gut every time I see that Wookie. I think it's that this moron responds even to that. It's like a contest to see if it's even possible to find something so low effort and retarded that this nearly subhuman moron won't fall for it like a gullible sucker. He's the perfect troll victim.

The misspelled word in his pinned tweet is a nice touch, too. I pointed it out here when he first made the mistake, but he doubled down and pinned it. What a moron.

Something I both love and hate about Carlin is his universality and the fact that anyone of any political bent can enjoy his humor, other than the contrarians who hate him because of his popularity (or okay just because they don't think he's funny), and he'd probably like the people who hate him more than his fans.

Because the part that I hate about him is that literally every idiot who loves him is absolutely certain that he would share their political views, when in actuality, no matter who you are, he thought your political views are stupid, that you're stupid, and that even having particularly strong political views at all is stupid.

In case I didn't make it clear, my point is that Patrick S. Tomlinson is fat.

The sad reality of his ridiculous life is far more engaging than the wildest garbage fiction he could ever shit out, but he is too much of a clueless, self-important narcissist to ever draw from it.

He is the anti-Kilgore Trout, except instead of being a terrible fictional author who was himself fascinating for good reasons, he is a real terrible author who is fascinating because he is an utterly pathetic retard. Also Kilgore Trout wasn't fat.

 

[Fanny Trucker]

This is the same person who uses infantilizing terminology in so many other ways (calling people child, telling people to "be quiet when the adults are speaking", referring to "time-outs" and "tantrums"). Why would he avoid the most apt childhood term for his opponents: bullies?

I think you pretty much nailed it in your post, the term bullies sounds childish, and his top insult is calling other people children, so calling his enemies "bullies" would be reducing himself to that same juvenile level, and he will never do that, only other people can be children

 

[r00]

Some of the funniest stuff on the site is cataloged in this thread, like the Eurhythmics phone call remix and that image from the OP where multiple impersonators are all Childing each other on Goodreads. Even the absurd stuff like Wookietexting becomes more funny than it has any right to be. I've genuinely laughed out loud at Patrick way more than any other lolcow.

OnA rascals have been responsible for a some of the funniest antics on the entire internet. They are just unstoppable pisstaking mischief machines. I hope one day technology can revive the old subreddit. I still laugh when I think about the Michael Richards bot popping up all over the place shouting "HE'S A NIGGER, HE'S A NIGGER" and getting good botted right to the top of the bot rankings. I can't even look at anything Vizio without smirking.

 

[Mr Moonface]

GOOBERGRAPE!!!



Piggy is thirsty:

 

[Ophelia]

Piggy is thirsty:

View attachment 3518557View attachment 3518558

Just say you’re jealous of your ex for getting with PCJ and be done with it, Pat.