Grace Lavery / Joseph Lavery & Daniel M. Lavery / Mallory Ortberg - "Straight with extra steps" couple trooning out to avoid "dwindling into mere heterosexuality"

[OttoWest]

Thank goodness Nicole’s fling seems relegated to greater Worcester, and doesn’t seem to involve Auntie Gretchen coming to visit a household with very young children.

Here’s Micah defending infamous pedo artist and fellow incest aficionado Matt “Madd” Wienecke aka Stwawbwewymilk:



Matt also has a thread here, but his comics are pretty NSFL and will probably get you on a watchlist somewhere.

We all know that Micah is not arguing in good faith about artistic freedom and depictions of taboo subjects in fiction, so that excuse does not hold.


400 lbs. Literal acres for Nicole to rub ointment into his yeasty folds.

 

[Trianon]

Not 'anyone has ever said about me'. Things 'a thin person has ever said about me'.

Wow-ee, he is going to murder her, isn't he? He's going to be found in puddles of her blood wearing her skin muttering about how now he's a real thin white woman writer.

Ugh, somehow I glossed right over that when I first read it. Maybe people are weird about fat/thin relationships because you say things like this.

I can only pass on what I see on Reddit, but the deep lore of Nicole and Steve getting together is that she worked at the same hedge fund and was one of what she called the stable of cute girls that took the genius money guys out to lunch when they started the job to make them want to stay. She also has said that Steve once had sex with an ex while trying to break up with said ex, and also Nicole spit in an ex's burger when she visited their cookout because Nicole is insane.

Thank goodness Nicole’s fling seems relegated to greater Worcester, and doesn’t seem to involve Auntie Gretchen coming to visit a household with very young children.

Here’s Micah defending infamous pedo artist and fellow incest aficionado Matt “Madd” Wienecke aka Stwawbwewymilk:
View attachment 3515794
View attachment 3515791
View attachment 3515790
Matt also has a thread here, but his comics are pretty NSFL and will probably get you on a watchlist somewhere.

We all know that Micah is not arguing in good faith about artistic freedom and depictions of taboo subjects in fiction, so that excuse does not hold.

View attachment 3515811
400 lbs. Literal acres for Nicole to rub ointment into his yeasty folds.

Ah, well. Personally do not remember a single instance of Lolita enjoying anything, or any indication that we can trust the account of a pedophile about how desirable he is. Yikes. Like, try to read the stuff before you use it as an example.

 

[MistressCaridad]

Mallory's most successful writing has been short, light-hearted pastiches or comedic rewrites of classic authors. Weird Al does that and has well-received original work.

You hate in others what you hate in yourself.

No, no, look at Weird Al's pathetic finger painting "comedy" on Twitter:
View attachment 3512007

Nobody would subscribe to a Substack to get this low brow unsophisticated material.

As a wise man once said, “He who hates Weird Al hates life”, or something like that. I know it actually was “He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life” but what the fuck ever. I’m not surprised that Mallory hates her life though considering that she wakes up next to Joe every morning.

Ah, well. Personally do not remember a single instance of Lolita enjoying anything, or any indication that we can trust the account of a pedophile about how desirable he is. Yikes. Like, try to read the stuff before you use it as an example.

Yeah, that was the whole point of Lolita, Nabokov wrote it in a disgusted reaction to the Sally Horner case and made it abundantly clear that the “sexy little vixen” was purely the pedo’s constructed fantasy. The actual little girl behind the fantasy had no voice in the matter and ran away from him the first real opportunity she got. Jesus, pedo logic is so fucking gross and unnatural.

 

[Norman B. Normal]

A not-at-all-unhinged Mallory update:
View attachment 3508832

Weird Al Yankovic has been a universally beloved and fabulously successful entertainer for almost 40 years. Mallory is trapped in a sham marriage with a sociopathic narcissist who looks like an overflowing trash bag and clearly hates her. But sure, Weird Al is the one who's wasted his life.

 

[Pencilvester]

Here’s Micah defending infamous pedo artist and fellow incest aficionado Matt “Madd” Wienecke aka Stwawbwewymilk:

Graphic depictions of rape and child abuse:
Unflattering descriptions of fat people:

Confirmed:

Joe clearly also thinks it's a badge of being kweer + totally getting laid.

LMAO 2+ partners a month is such an absurdly low threshold for gay men. This is who's high risk (Not Mallory).

 

[Russiahatesfags]

Do you think that Steve just doesn't take this seriously at all? That he's like, ok Nicole, enjoy your weird pretend relationship hobby, I'm busy.
Gretch Kevetch is also probably loving all this narcissistic supply.

I picture him in his office with stacks of money and his excel spreadsheets to make him happy. I think he genuinely prefers it there?

It seems like reading Nicoles deleted twitter would give more info about Steve, if anyone was interested,

Spoiler

but I'm just too excited about the pete buttegieg anecdote and how he saved her from an incipient sexual assault in an undisclosed drinking location.

lmao but what the fuck? pete,5'7 135 lbs, saved her from a group of big scary men?!! in a drinking establishment??!!!
What did he do, challenge them to a debate? stand on a cardboard box and slap them with his gloves?
I think the real end of the anecdote is Elizabeth Warren came into the bar and kicked everyone's ass out of there, including pete's . Then she picked up an ODouls and said I love drinking this alcohol

--I dont think the Pete Buttigieg story ever happened

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

I’m not surprised that Mallory hates her life though considering that she wakes up next to Joe every morning.

*Mornings when he's not waking up to someone else(s).

 

[mrae]

The story of Pete 'saving' Nicole or whatever evolved, going from he got her away from some sketch dudes in a bar in that low-key way people do to him saving her from (not so) LITERAL RAPE. Nicole was also tagging him and his campaign on twitter before Micah threw his shit fit, mentioning that she went to Harvard with him and being very 'NOTICE ME.' Honestly, giving the max campaign donation was probably more about getting the campaign's attention in case he took off in a big way, rather than about thanking him for an incident that had happened almost 20yrs before.

Regardless, both Micah and Nicole now speak of their meet cute as if Micah's harassment would have been 100% justified if not for this story, which is the real lunacy to me. Have a little dignity.

 

[MistressCaridad]

*Mornings when he's not waking up to someone else(s).

Good point, I wasn’t thinking about what a cuck Mallory is. Reason for her to hate her life even more.

 

[AirdropShitposts]

LMAO 2+ partners a month is such an absurdly low threshold for gay men. This is who's high risk (Not Mallory).
View attachment 3518051 View attachment 3518052

This dude is talking about piss orgies where he personally did stuff with 15-20 men (at some point you lose track!) and he sounds so much more sane and logical than most of the lolcows on here.

COVID? Monkeypox? Trauma? "Trauma"? Fascists? Roe being struck down? Whatever this dude has his priorities in order, it's not spending all day on Twitter REEEEEEEing about everything, it's guzzling piss.

 

[behindyourightnow]

I hate that I agree with you. This man is not throwing a tantrum and calling people fascists because they said that women don't have penises, or calling comedians murderers, or claiming that trannies were the main victims in the Holocaust, or crying about meanies laughing at him for being fat in between tweets about burning his enemies to death. He just knows what he likes (drinking strangers' piss) and follows that dream.

 

[Prescription Bugs]

What is with the Weird Al hate? He’s a legit musician without the humor. With the humor he’s fun and silly. And you don’t have to take all the intro to lit classes at your local community college to understand the jokes.

He makes people laugh. He’s zany. He was in VH1 and MTV along with the big dogs back in the day.


Mallory is so stupid in so many ways but the Weird Al hate is annoying.

He has 5 million followers on Twitter… Five times as many as Gene Simmons so for vintage musicians, apparently people still like Weird Al.


Mallory has become distinctly and thoroughly unlikeable of late. Sad but true

I didn’t know how Mallory and Nicole managed to botch the amazing card hands dealt them but boy they sure did.

 

[MistressCaridad]

What is with the Weird Al hate? He’s a legit musician without the humor. With the humor he’s fun and silly. And you don’t have to take all the intro to lit classes at your local commmnity college to understand the jokes.

He makes people laugh. He’s zany. He was in VH1 and MTV along with the big dogs back in the day.


Mallory is so stupid in so many ways but the Weird Al hate is annoying.

He has 5 million followers on Twitter… Five times as many as Gene Simmons so for vintage musicians, apparently people still like Weird Al.


Mallory has become distinctly and thoroughly unlikeable of late. Sad but true

I didn’t know how Mallory and Nicole managed to botch the amazing card hands dealt them but boy they sure did.

Yeah, and also, Weird Al is a celebrity among celebrities in the sense that most of the artists whose songs he’s parodied have absolutely loved them because they’re 1) very well done because he’s a talented guy and 2) funny without having to resort to being mean spirited.

The only thing Mallory is famous for is being shitty at giving advice (the older, no-nonsense lady who did Dear Prudence before her was much better) and being an unattractive troon who gets cucked by ("multiple) even more unattractive troons

 

[Russiahatesfags]

Thank goodness Nicole’s fling seems relegated to greater Worcester, and doesn’t seem to involve Auntie Gretchen coming to visit a household with very young children.

Here’s Micah defending infamous pedo artist and fellow incest aficionado Matt “Madd” Wienecke aka Stwawbwewymilk:
View attachment 3515794
View attachment 3515791
View attachment 3515790
Matt also has a thread here, but his comics are pretty NSFL and will probably get you on a watchlist somewhere.

We all know that Micah is not arguing in good faith about artistic freedom and depictions of taboo subjects in fiction, so that excuse does not hold.

View attachment 3515811
400 lbs. Literal acres for Nicole to rub ointment into his yeasty folds.

This guy should be on a registry. That is fucked up shit.

 

[White-Kettle Shufflepunk]

Maybe Mallory’s just jealous Weird Al can be celebrated for literal generations for being funny and joking around the margins of pop culture without being a forgettable cypher of irony.

 

[AirdropShitposts]

Has anybody even bothered to attempt to be the successor to Weird Al? I'm sure there's tons of people doing funny parodies on YouTube, there's certainly tons of people doing different style covers, but Weird Al is so much bigger than that and you don't really realize it at first because you just consider him the wacky parody guy who plays the accordion. Everybody loves if he parodies them, all kinds of celebrities will do his music videos probably for essentially nothing, his personal life is unimpeachable, his business stuff is pretty perfect like how he asks to do a parody even though he never has had to, he uses the parodies to get people in so they hear his other music, etc. It's really a near impossible combination that helps explains why he's lasted so long despite doing something that on its face (especially to people like Mallory) seems fairly easy and a few others will get successful with something once.

 

[White-Kettle Shufflepunk]

Also, he’s clearly fucking immortal.

 

[Trianon]

Maybe Mallory’s just jealous Weird Al can be celebrated for literal generations for being funny and joking around the margins of pop culture without being a forgettable cypher of irony.

I guess a true artist would be three levels deep into whatever niche thing MALLORY ORTBERG is into today. If you're joking about things people are familiar with and can relate to, you are a POSER.

He's better than Mallory because he has no hate in his heart.

 

[White-Kettle Shufflepunk]

Telling jokes for grown ups and telling jokes for kids are seperate skills, each with their own hurdles. Telling jokes for both is like being the fucking Avatar.

I find it quite appropriate that for the past few pages we’ve basically talked about Gretchen and how good Weird Al is instead of Grace. All that arsehole ever wants is attention, and we’re proving for a fact he’s the most boring part of his circle.

 

[Dr. Butt]

Thank goodness Nicole’s fling seems relegated to greater Worcester, and doesn’t seem to involve Auntie Gretchen coming to visit a household with very young children.

Here’s Micah defending infamous pedo artist and fellow incest aficionado Matt “Madd” Wienecke aka Stwawbwewymilk:
View attachment 3515794
View attachment 3515791
View attachment 3515790

Micah is very clearly in the category of male rapists, manipulators, domestic abusers (both emotional and physical) that usurp the language of recovery to secure victims. I don't know what specific type of predator he is, but the rage he displays at any implication that he may lose access to depictions of violent rape can only come from someone with a literal hatred of women. He is angry at the fact that he is both too ugly to get laid and too weak to rape, and idiots like Nicole are the perfect victims for him. I don't usually type such grammatically poor comments, so my apologies for going low-effort here, but reading these posts about Matt revealed to me a very frightening male who will absolutely hurt his sexual partners.

ETA: With regards to Weird Al, he's also about a thousand times better looking than Mallory and Joe, and nearly twice Mallory's age.