Defendant: Ethan Oliver Ralph - Ethan Ralph's Documented Legal Troubles & Other Court Docs

[Spergichu]

THIS IS NOT A THREAT. THIS IS A PROMISE!

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I don't know who you are but seeing as though you are br*tish, I believe you should be euthanized by your local animal shelter asap.

 

[Temperance]

Ralph's claims in regards to the reckless driving charge:

• GUARANTEES that he won't get any jail time.
• Thinks he'll probably get a fine and have to do some community service and/or traffic school.
  • Doesn't even mention the possibility of losing his license.
• Thinks he won't have to attend court in person.

Pretty optimistic of him. I think there's a real possibility that he could lose his license or get some jail time, so it will be interesting to see how it goes.

He's terrified of jail. Listen to this cope in the second video.

 

[FFinfo]

Ralph's claims in regards to the reckless driving charge:

• GUARANTEES that he won't get any jail time.
• Thinks he'll probably get a fine and have to do some community service and/or traffic school.
  • Doesn't even mention the possibility of losing his license.
• Thinks he won't have to attend court in person.

Pretty optimistic of him. I think there's a real possibility that he could lose his license or get some jail time, so it will be interesting to see how it goes.
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He's terrified of jail. Listen to this cope in the second video.

>Midwest Midwits
Actually kind of catchy phrasing from the Southern Sex Offender.

 

[Telemeter]

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He's terrified of jail. Listen to this cope in the second video.

LOL.

Specially loved the "Im not afraid of anything!".

Was so afraid of confronting an aquarium employee he took a piss on his mother's grave.

@2:14 "I wouldn't be eating this slop!" So apparently he't not eating up to 5 star standards these days. And this is coming from a guy who digs out burgers from trash cans.

 

[Gold Star Commissar]

Community service… in advance of your court date? What?

 

[TherapyMan]

Ralph's claims in regards to the reckless driving charge:

• GUARANTEES that he won't get any jail time.
• Thinks he'll probably get a fine and have to do some community service and/or traffic school.
  • Doesn't even mention the possibility of losing his license.
• Thinks he won't have to attend court in person.

Pretty optimistic of him. I think there's a real possibility that he could lose his license or get some jail time, so it will be interesting to see how it goes.
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He's terrified of jail. Listen to this cope in the second video.

Ralph's cope about coming out of jail more fit and healthy is just really pathetic. Imagine lacking such a control over your life that you cannot physically make healthy decisions for yourself and your only avenue to even hope to getting in shape would be having all your life-related decisions ripped away from you. How sad.

Community service… in advance of your court date? What?

Ralph basically said that it's in his future, not that he's completing it in advance of his court date. Since Ralph is being very specific here about what he thinks he will be required to do, it sounds like he has spoken to his attorney and his attorney has either worked out a deal with the State or informed him of the likely outcome of pleading guilty.

I'll gladly take tophats and trashcans for saying this, but I unironically hope the only person he kills while driving recklessly and acting like a general white trash menace is himself.

I just hope he wraps his car around a tree or something and and does not plow straight into a car with children n it.

Ralph is a walking murder-suicide. There's no chance he doesn't bring someone down with him. It's just a matter of who. This is why I sort of hope that he ends up in jail somehow, even though I know he likely won't.

It's all fun and laughs until he plows through a family of four, and everyone says, "Why didn't someone stop him, the signs were all there."

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Given his numerous traffic violations in the past, being at fault for totaling his car last year and now a new reckless driving charge I’d love to know what Gunt has to pay for insurance. His insurance premium will probably close to his truck payment after eating this recent misdemeanor.

 

[DSP's Tax Lawyer]

Given his numerous traffic violations in the past, being at fault for totaling his car last year and now a new reckless driving charge I’d love to know what Gunt has to pay for insurance. His insurance premium will probably close to his truck payment after eating this recent misdemeanor.

Probably nothing since the Progressive insurance claims guy is a big fan of the killstream

 

[Keranu]

1

Probably nothing since the Progressive insurance claims guy is a big fan of the killstream

@PhoBingas give this comment a DRINK! reaction for me.

EDIT: Lol thanks for the DRINK! @PhoBingas

 

[Derpy]

Maybe his latest charge is the reason Ralph is staying away in hiding from his place in Richmond. Perhaps he knows that now that no insurance company will want to underwrite him now and without insurance he can’t keep his truck that he barely owns. Wasn’t the move announced shortly after the latest charge? Ralph in hiding from the repo man?

 

[UCantCCPMe]

Doing 65 in a 30. That cop probably saved your life. I want you to think about that Ralph. Think about the people that could have been killed by your reckless driving. Its fortunate that it was really was wreckless, cause you being retarded behind the wheel could have gotten somebody sunsetted; maybe even kids Ralph. Be sure to thank that officer when you get to court. A possible year or two is better than the 10-15 years you would get for vehicular manslaughter, you stupid fuck.

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

Doing 65 in a 30. That cop probably saved your life. I want you to think about that Ralph. Think about the people that could have been killed by your reckless driving. Its fortunate that it was really was wreckless, cause you being retarded behind the wheel could have gotten somebody sunsetted; maybe even kids Ralph. Be sure to thank that officer when you get to court. A possible year or two is better than the 10-15 years you would get for vehicular manslaughter, you stupid fuck.

Moralfag alert

 

[UCantCCPMe]

Moralfag alert

So saying "hey retard, driving 30 mph over the speed limit might have gotten someone killed and you'd be up the river for a decade or so" is moralfagging now?
I didn't know pointing out dangerous behaviour and subsequent consequences of said behaviour is just being a moralfag.

"Son, don't stick your dick in that electrical outlet, you'll burn your pecker off"

"STOP MORALFAGGING ME DAD!"

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

So saying "hey retard, driving 30 mph over the speed limit might have gotten someone killed and you'd be up the river for a decade or so" is moralfagging now?

No it's always been moralfagging. Do you chastise friends and relatives who speed too? You've never went over the speed limit yourself?

 

[UCantCCPMe]

No it's always been moralfagging. Do you chastise friends and relatives who speed too? You've never went over the speed limit yourself?

Not 30 miles over, not double the speed limit. It's dangerous and can get innocent people killed, that's why it's illegal in the first place. But no, me and the cops are all just a bunch of moralfags cause we don't agree that your hero Ethan Ralph should be allowed to drive around like speed racer with his gecko bug eyes, no doubt under the influence of some substance. Excuse the fuck outta me.

 

[Mundane Ralph]

Not 30 miles over, not double the speed limit. It's dangerous and can get innocent people killed, that's why it's illegal in the first place. But no, me and the cops are all just a bunch of moralfags cause we don't agree that your hero Ethan Ralph should be allowed to drive around like speed racer with his gecko bug eyes, no doubt under the influence of some substance. Excuse the fuck outta me.

I'm doing 100 in a 55 while I type this

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

Not 30 miles over, not double the speed limit. It's dangerous and can get innocent people killed, that's why it's illegal in the first place. But no, me and the cops are all just a bunch of moralfags cause we don't agree that your hero Ethan Ralph should be allowed to drive around like speed racer with his gecko bug eyes, no doubt under the influence of some substance. Excuse the fuck outta me.

You don’t think they would have busted him for a DUI if he was under the influence?

Seems like youre just assmad you drive like a Korean meemaw and can’t drift and get no bitches.

 

[UCantCCPMe]

You don’t think they would have busted him for a DUI if he was under the influence?

Seems like youre just assmad you drive like a Korean meemaw and can’t drift and get no bitches.

Not if he's just high on weed, which is just stellar for reaction time btw.

You'll be really assmad that your hearse only does 30 after you Paul Walker yourself to impress some skank bud.

 

[Mundane Ralph]

I'm 10 dabs, a pint of vodka, and couple lines of ketamine deep and I'm drifting through the neighborhood with the highest concentration of deaf child signs. Let's goooooo

 

[Fannyscum]

I think what Vickers is saying is that Ralph took a conviction for a sex offence when he didn't have to?


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Apparently the DDA was shocked that Ralph plead no contest. What a gigantic self-own if true. Also fuck off Spectre:

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