Hey there, subject of thread. A couple of things.
What does your username mean?
Have you considered therapy for your body dysmorphia and ... other issues? If you know you have body dysmorphia, then how can you ever trust your self-assessment of your looks? And if you don't trust the people giving their opinion, positive or negative, how can you blame your appearance? If you've been officially diagnosed, then it's likely you've had psychiatric help in the past - are you receiving it now? If not, why not?
What does your ill mother think of Shannon?
Do you have friends or hobbies outside of the internet?
Really, the question is - have you tried to get better?