Grace Lavery / Joseph Lavery & Daniel M. Lavery / Mallory Ortberg - "Straight with extra steps" couple trooning out to avoid "dwindling into mere heterosexuality"

[squirreltail]

ETA: With regards to Weird Al, he's also about a thousand times better looking than Mallory and Joe, and nearly twice Mallory's age.

Weird Al is the only fuckable person in this thread.

 

[kaien]

Weird Al is the only fuckable person in this thread.

Also been married for 20 years. If anybody thinks Joe and Mallory are gonna make it that long, well, I'd be happy to offer you odds.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

Yeah, and also, Weird Al is a celebrity among celebrities in the sense that most of the artists whose songs he’s parodied have absolutely loved them because they’re 1) very well done because he’s a talented guy and 2) funny without having to resort to being mean spirited.

The only thing Mallory is famous for is being shitty at giving advice (the older, no-nonsense lady who did Dear Prudence before her was much better) and being an unattractive troon who gets cucked by ("multiple) even more unattractive troons

No, Emily was awful! But yeah, when Mallory became NuPru, and then became Daniel, the advice evolved/devolved to being constantly through Daniel's personal lens, rather than reflecting 98% of advice-askers' actual (likely) lives. Even the questions were sometimes edited/updated to rephrase in gender-vague terms, but even those edits couldn't keep up with Mallory's increasingly weird and personal centering when supposedly being an agony aunt/uncle for others' benefit. And poor Evan (Urquhart)*, whose paid job it was to, among other things, manage the commentariat, had to run interference on complaints.

*also trans and later poly, but a non-cow, afaik

My current thinking about Mal's Weird Al comment is

a) missed the memo that after age 15, you don't have to prove your coolness/intellectual elitism (lol) by hating everything with mass popularity, and

b) Mal is unable to comprehend anyone who doesn't put their own personal, private life and choices at the center of their public experience. Daniel, like Joe/Grace*, has made a life and career of making their personal life/expression not just synonymous with but 100% Venn overlapping with their careers.

In other words, Weird Al irritates because his professional output is in no way about, reflective of, channeling, working through, or otherwise manifesting his personal struggles, hang ups, and/or self-definition.

When you perceive your self /your sex-life/yourself as the center of everything, you cannot appreciate anyone who makes a life and a living not doing so. Apparently.

 

[squirreltail]

When you perceive your self /your sex-life/yourself as the center of everything, you cannot appreciate anyone who makes a life and a living not doing so. Apparently.

also because genuinely talented people don't need to sperg their personal life everywhere. Mal/Joe/Nicole/etc are all midwit narcissists.

 

[MistressCaridad]

No, Emily was awful! But yeah, when Mallory became NuPru, and then became Daniel, the advice evolved/devolved to being constantly through Daniel's personal lens, rather than reflecting 98% of advice-askers' actual (likely) lives. Even the questions were sometimes edited/updated to rephrase in gender-vague terms, but even those edits couldn't keep up with Mallory's increasingly weird and personal centering when supposedly being an agony aunt/uncle for others' benefit. And poor Evan (Urquhart)*, whose paid job it was to, among other things, manage the commentariat, had to run interference on complaints.

Yeah, I think I worded that wrongly. Emily was much better than Mallory was what I was trying to say in that she at least tried to be practical and didn’t make everything about herself like Mallory did.

I also remember Evan. He at least had a sense of humor and mostly didn’t take himself too seriously. Poor guy had a shitty thankless job jannying the comments.

 

[Dr. Butt]

Yeah, I think I worded that wrongly. Emily was much better than Mallory was what I was trying to say in that she at least tried to be practical and didn’t make everything about herself like Mallory did.

I also remember Evan. He at least had a sense of humor and mostly didn’t take himself too seriously. Poor guy had a shitty thankless job jannying the comments.

If I was an online advice columnist, my answer to every question sent to me by someone whose apparent only source of advice is an online advice columnist would be "Just kill yourself".

 

[OttoWest]

*also trans and later poly, but a non-cow, afaik

Vanessa “Evan” Urquhart shows up on the semi-regular in the Troon Social Media thread. She is assuredly a cow, just a very boring one.

Spoiler: More Micah/Gretchen shit

@Dr. Butt when I was digging up dirt on Micah, I found pictures of him next to his younger sister and it’s always stayed with me just what a giant he is next to her and imagining that bulk looming over her in an argument. His family seem like typical bleeding heart liberals, but it’s one thing to be a handmaiden to a stranger, it’s very much another knowing your son or brother loves writing about rape constantly and in graphic detail. Hopefully he kept his hands out of her and mom’s panty drawers.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

Vanessa “Evan” Urquhart shows up on the semi-regular in the Troon Social Media thread. She is assuredly a cow, just a very boring one.
]

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

I picture him in his office with stacks of money and his excel spreadsheets to make him happy. I think he genuinely prefers it there?

Given his line of work the crypto and tech stock tanking might be keeping him very distracted. People forget that very rich people can get caught short and have “liquidity issues”. All those mountain of money are tied up as collateral to make more money and leverage/ margin calls can be a bitch.

I’d think Nicole’s “affair” with a flaccid dick, out of state, tranny is the most outrageous, yet absolute safest, type of affair she can have. No PIV sex. Steve probably views it on the same threat level as her relationship with Mallory - ie something to keep Nicole occupied now that the kids are in school.

I’d bet good money Steve regularly bangs very expensive hookers. Nicole is the mommy homemaker. I doubt Nicole and Steve sleep together much. Her having a non-sexual relationship/ infatuated with an impotent man in a dress is as daring as it gets. She’s not ready for the sexual troon humiliation orgy that Mallory volunteered for yet.

 

[Dr. Butt]

Given his line of work the crypto and tech stock tanking might be keeping him very distracted. People forget that very rich people can get caught short and have “liquidity issues”. All those mountain of money are tied up as collateral to make more money and leverage/ margin calls can be a bitch.

I’d think Nicole’s “affair” with a flaccid dick, out of state, tranny is the most outrageous, yet absolute safest, type of affair she can have. No PIV sex. Steve probably views it on the same threat level as her relationship with Mallory - ie something to keep Nicole occupied now that the kids are in school.

I’d bet good money Steve regularly bangs very expensive hookers. Nicole is the mommy homemaker. I doubt Nicole and Steve sleep together much. Her having a non-sexual relationship/ infatuated with an impotent man in a dress is as daring as it gets. She’s not ready for the sexual troon humiliation orgy that Mallory volunteered for yet.

Don't forget that to reach true elite status, you need to be married. Yes he was a billionaire, but male careerists in his sphere do eventually have to secure a wife and child, even if it's a sham, to ensure a consistent stream of the income they've achieved. I don't pretend to know how to do that type of fake fooking work, but to succeed in meetings and make deals that make your pile of money give birth to further piles of money, you cannot be single much past the age of 45-50. Even then you're pushing it; that's why they have the baby right away when they marry late.

His image and trustworthiness go down in the eyes of many people he'd be "working" with if he stays single. Personally I now think that Steve never wanted to get married, and getting with Nicole (a no-maintenance flake who also makes him look good to internet plebs) is a win-win for both of them.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

Given his line of work the crypto and tech stock tanking might be keeping him very distracted. People forget that very rich people can get caught short and have “liquidity issues”. All those mountain of money are tied up as collateral to make more money and leverage/ margin calls can be a bitch.

I’d think Nicole’s “affair” with a flaccid dick, out of state, tranny is the most outrageous, yet absolute safest, type of affair she can have. No PIV sex. Steve probably views it on the same threat level as her relationship with Mallory - ie something to keep Nicole occupied now that the kids are in school.

I’d bet good money Steve regularly bangs very expensive hookers. Nicole is the mommy homemaker. I doubt Nicole and Steve sleep together much. Her having a non-sexual relationship/ infatuated with an impotent man in a dress is as daring as it gets. She’s not ready for the sexual troon humiliation orgy that Mallory volunteered for yet.

How old is Steve? And how long have they been together?

He may have enough money not to be like this, but many men with money and a long-term marriage stay married despite being checked out/the marriage being empty bc they don't care about shit except passable outward appearances. So long as they can have compartmentalized affairs but have the wife /family playing their roles, they'll stick with it rather than ending the shell of a marriage. Much cheaper, preserves the veneer, and accords with their Daddy Mommy control issues.

 

[AirdropShitposts]

Do you like long incoherent Twitter threads about how everything is proof of the Literal Genocide by the fascists about to take power because Evan has tons of tweets for you!

 

[Russiahatesfags]

Given his line of work the crypto and tech stock tanking might be keeping him very distracted. People forget that very rich people can get caught short and have “liquidity issues”. All those mountain of money are tied up as collateral to make more money and leverage/ margin calls can be a bitch.

I’d think Nicole’s “affair” with a flaccid dick, out of state, tranny is the most outrageous, yet absolute safest, type of affair she can have. No PIV sex. Steve probably views it on the same threat level as her relationship with Mallory - ie something to keep Nicole occupied now that the kids are in school.

I’d bet good money Steve regularly bangs very expensive hookers. Nicole is the mommy homemaker. I doubt Nicole and Steve sleep together much. Her having a non-sexual relationship/ infatuated with an impotent man in a dress is as daring as it gets. She’s not ready for the sexual troon humiliation orgy that Mallory volunteered for yet.

actually I have always wondered about the man whos been financing this ever-growing menagerie of people. he has a lot of responsibility. he's like the head of household for 6 or 7 people here, one of whom demands 4000 acres of silk pillowcases and other perverted expenses no doubt
I did a very cursory search and found that he is nearly 20 years older than Nicole, (54)
So that explains that.

Spoiler: of possible interest

In 2015 it looks like he started an LLC out of his utah address called Fenrir (his spirit animal, maybe? Just seems appropriate for like a cyclist living in mormon country )
Could be sus that the company is alternately spelled in records as Fenrir, Fenrrir, or Fenrirr, these deliberate typos seem like ways to keep the company under the radar. but it could be nothing.

It was incorporated again in 2017 with a different agent. I have no idea if that's normal or if this is even a real company--people create fake LLCs in relatively harmless/only slightly illegal ways all the time.

it's listed as "computer systems design". But one of the agents refers to it as a proprietary trading firm.
Maybe not of interest--its not his thread and this could all be inconsequential anyway-- but it was just five minute search as I said, could be more interesting developments out there somewhere,

I wonder if the secret agent NSA security person Joe used to reference was actually steve or someone steve agacent.

 

[Trianon]

How old is Steve? And how long have they been together?

He may have enough money not to be like this, but many men with money and a long-term marriage stay married despite being checked out/the marriage being empty bc they don't care about shit except passable outward appearances. So long as they can have compartmentalized affairs but have the wife /family playing their roles, they'll stick with it rather than ending the shell of a marriage. Much cheaper, preserves the veneer, and accords with their Daddy Mommy control issues.

Ninja'd, but yeah, he's 54-55, and Nicole is about to turn 40. I don't know how old Micah is.

 

[OttoWest]

Ninja'd, but yeah, he's 54-55, and Nicole is about to turn 40. I don't know how old Micah is.

Micah just turned 33 in May.

 

[Boris Blank's glass eye]

Micah just turned 33 in May.

That's a rough fat 33.

 

[White-Kettle Shufflepunk]

That's a rough fat 33.

These people age in dog years. It’s almost as though the human body is complicated and shouldn’t be messed with without good cause.

 

[David Glowie]

Telling jokes for grown ups and telling jokes for kids are seperate skills, each with their own hurdles. Telling jokes for both is like being the fucking Avatar.

While I really don't know who Mal is making jokes for these days. (Other than herself). I never see anyone, no matter how woke, no matter how obscure the pronouns in the bio, share any of her Substack writings, or retweet her.

 

[Law]

What is with the Weird Al hate? He’s a legit musician without the humor. With the humor he’s fun and silly.

Troons hate humor almost as much as they hate their mothers.
To make someone laugh, you need to have enough empathy and intelligence to see things from their perspective. Transgenderism is all about taking yourself as seriously as possible all the time.
They may dress like clowns, but the genuine human joy and connection that comes from humor is beyond them.

Micah is very clearly in the category of male rapists, manipulators, domestic abusers (both emotional and physical) that usurp the language of recovery to secure victims.

Wierd AL could probably write "The DARVO Song" and have it be funny and clever.

In 2015 it looks like he started an LLC out of his utah address called Fenrir

I fucking knew he had a fursona.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

Do you like long incoherent Twitter threads about how everything is proof of the Literal Genocide by the fascists about to take power because Evan has tons of tweets for you!

I need an emoji for JFC.

...So who are worse: Millenials or Zoomers? Rhetorical.