Defendant: Ethan Oliver Ralph - Ethan Ralph's Documented Legal Troubles & Other Court Docs

MadStan said:
Hey Ralph,

Wanna know what your future looks like? Look into my crystal ball you ball of shit-wax.

You're going to have child support. Car payments. Rent. Increased insurance on your car. Plus the cost of providing for your baby you have on your doorstep. Utilities. Your web presence. Probably child support on that in a year when she walks away forever. Lawyers. Lots of Lawyer fees. Court fees,. Fines.

Gambling. Drugs. Being able to even buy a young girl drinks or drugs to rape her. Trips to Atlantic City, LV, Portugal? All gone. Alllllllll gone.

You aren't even going to have enough money on hand to maintain even your rock-bottom existence. You just won't ever have enough ever again.

Ever.

Miss a payment and she will be on your ass. Fuck up a single time you are in jail. Miss a single car payment we will make sure the repo guy knows where you live.

You are so close to being on the street you don't even know just how close you are, you are literally one whisker away from being a derelict. Those walls you feel crushing in on you were all erected by you, and we're gonna help give that little push they need to come crashing down to bury you. Look out the window, that's life staring right back at you with all of us...laughing at you.
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Fren this post is so cringe Ralph had to read it on his show. It was so cringe I thought for sure it was written by ChristorianX. But I find it and its you.
Unwind your supervillion seeth a little and go touch grass maybe.
 
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MirnaMinkoff said:
Very likely it’s some whole other cluster fuck is going on. Something has him very spooked. Hides out for a month, announces he’s moving, suddenly says he’s going to pay child support, and is going to do community service.

If he’s got to do community service he won’t be moving very far away any time soon. I’d say he’s just trying to move across state lines because he’s scared he’s going to end up in jail in Virginia very soon. His latest class 1 misdemeanor seemed to freak him out extra hard.
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I really do hope we get some kind of idea of what's been going on soon, so many odd things happening in such little time that if it were anyone else I would chalk up to IRL shit that's
none of my business, but Ralph flagrantly airs his dirty laundry often enough that I find it a little bit suspicous he hasn't even come up with some lie to explain it all and own us aylawgs.
 
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Americunt said:
I really do hope we get some kind of idea of what's been going on soon, so many odd things happening in such little time that if it were anyone else I would chalk up to IRL shit that's
none of my business, but Ralph flagrantly airs his dirty laundry often enough that I find it a little bit suspicous he hasn't even come up with some lie to explain it all and own us aylawgs.
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Counts passed the threshold, it's full blown AIDS. He wants to die in West Memphis, not jail. It's how he worked it out with the Vickers, he just wants to see the boy one time before he passes.
 
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Chode said:
Counts passed the threshold, it's full blown AIDS. He wants to die in West Memphis, not jail. It's how he worked it out with the Vickers, he just wants to see the boy one time before he passes.
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Oscar-tier script in there somewhere. Degenerate brute's sins catch up with him and he only has so much time left to make it right with the only kid he cares about.

The Gambler, the story of Ethan Oliver Ralph starring Jonah Hill.
 
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Looks like Ralph can add a civil case for the Maryland traffic accident to the list, which makes me think his insurance didn't pay out:
Maryland court.JPG
civil.JPG
 
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Ralph’s lawyer must love him. Always getting in trouble, racking up all those billable hours…
I wonder if lawyers have a name for clients like Ralph? I mean, besides white trash. Petty criminals that get into legal trouble often enough that have to keep one on retainer, but never quite fuck up bad enough that they end up in jail for an extended period of time. Sort of like a whale, but for the legal profession?
 
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Tiger Jack said:
Ralph’s lawyer must love him. Always getting in trouble, racking up all those billable hours…
I wonder if lawyers have a name for clients like Ralph? I mean, besides white trash. Petty criminals that get into legal trouble often enough that have to keep one on retainer, but never quite fuck up bad enough that they end up in jail for an extended period of time. Sort of like a whale, but for the legal profession?
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I think the term you're looking for is "the degenerate who put two of my kids through college"
 
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stalkerchild said:
Looks like Ralph can add a civil case for the Maryland traffic accident to the list, which makes me think his insurance didn't pay out:
View attachment 3530211
View attachment 3530210
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Interesting to note Ralph's insurance company isn't listed as a defendant.
So this means the guy is sueing Ralph personally, right ? I would think if insurance didn't pay, they'd be listed as a defendant. But I don't know I've never been in a court being sued before.
 
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An automatic clown said:
Interesting to note Ralph's insurance company isn't listed as a defendant.
So this means the guy is sueing Ralph personally, right ?
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What are the odds Ralph didn’t even have insurance? I’m guessing driving without it is a crime in VA, so he would have been done for it months ago if so, right?
 
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Null said:
LOL remember when he bragged about his insurance payout being soooOOOO YUGE 🆗 🆗 💯 that he bought a second car with it?
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what people need to understand about Ralph is he will simply never admit to taking an L no matter what. This is a guy who after being hospitalized with a broken face tried to flex because the hospital gave him Valium, No matter the circumstance, he will try to spin it into a win.

“It’s actually awesome that I lost my foot to diabetes because now I get a badass motorized wheelchair and get to park closer than all you faggots”
 
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John Andrews Stan said:
What are the odds Ralph didn’t even have insurance? I’m guessing driving without it is a crime in VA, so he would have been done for it months ago if so, right?
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You can pay to drive without in VA ($500/yr) but will be held personally liable. Ralph might've been penny smart and dollar foolish and paid to drive without because he thinks he can drive, only to be personally liable for damages now.
 
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