Brianna Wu / John Flynt - DEAGLE NATION STILL LIVES

[AnOminous]

3) "One of Brea’s pet peeves was when people mispronounced her name on paper. It wasn’t Bre-ah, the sound that made Brea wince, that was like a name straight out of a porno movie. No, her name was pronounced ‘Bray,’ a single strong, independent syllable, just like Brea herself." Just like Chris with CWCville, Brianna too needs to invent some autistic pronounciations.

More like "bray," the sound made by a braying jackass.

Which is incidentally the dictionary definition.

2.2 Of animals: formerly the cry of horses, oxen, deer, etc.; now chiefly used of the ass.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Someone needs to tweet "Boogya!" at Wu.

Tequila is totes a guy's name.

 

[millais]

Yes, I also thought that Tequila was another sorority girl that was hanging out with Holiday and friends, so it came as a shock to me that he is supposed to be a drug addled biker.

But there were some bits of the first draft I found entertaining. For obvious reasons, I was amused by the part where Brea(nna) crashed her car and blew up the college campus solely because she was deprived of her Nyqu-- caffeine. Also I liked the parts that kept mentioning drywall in the context of dormroom construction, because it seems really out of place. And the part that mentions Holiday listens to "All Things Considered" on NPR even though it is totally out of character for Holiday, but you just know that John must have had a hard-on for the radio show back in the day so he had to shill it somewhere.

 

[Dr. Merkwurdichliebe]

1) What's so unusual about her ethnicity?

Just for starters, the idea that Australian is an ethnicity is pretty funny.

Flynt seems utterly confounded by everything humans use to define one another. Race, ethnicity, nationality, and gender all appear to confuse him. His lack of general knowledge, his inability to write clearly, his outlandish claims of success as a journalist and a software engineer, his bizarre claims of persecution, and his classic presentation of the symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder remind me quite a bit of Iconoclast. I think Flynt might deserve a new moniker -- the Bad Tranny of College Journalism. In fact, I'd pay good money to see Flynt and Iconoclast locked in a room together.

 

[Solzhenitsyn]

Yeah, I had a laugh at the "half Australian" and "Australian features" thing as well. It's such a useless term. Australia as a nation has only existed for little more than 100 years, and for about a third of that people stridently identified themselves as British. That's ignoring the fact that many of us already have mixed backgrounds due to the various waves of immigration after wars and the White Australia policy meaning you could only stay in the country if you were popping out kids for a white man.
For a moment I was going to give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that he meant Bray was half-Aboriginal, half-Asian, which would be an unusual mix I guess, but then I remembered that Flynt likes his Mary Sues to be white as snow and fuckable.

 

[Von Clausewitz]

First Known Draft - Prologue and such
Second Known Draft - First part of "Main" story

I am only a few paragraphs in, but: My god, it's full of stars...

It is like someone took a dozen teenagers and distilled the bad writing out of them. Apparently it has got everything that makes you cringe, when you find some very, very, VERY early attempt of you trying to write story. If this would be a movie, I would place it somewhere between Space Mutiny and The Room. The most astonishing thing is, that it is so bad it easily penetrates the language barrier, which should shield me from horrors like this.

 

[vertexwindi]

I gave it a go, and

The party last night had been spectacular, but considering Allison’s epic social schedule it hardly deserved memory.

I'm already regretting this.

 

[Bonesnap]

A six pack and six dabs later, I finally have the courage to dive in.

Spoiler: An accurate self-assessment

The Starbucks clerk finally had their coffee order ready to go. Even though it was just black coffee and had taken a long time to be served, Brea gave her a very generous tip. Brea was aware she had numerous faults, and downplayed them with a smile, a wink, and a lantern on the problem. But certainly, giving and generosity were not one of them. Brea gave whatever she could, whenever she could. She didn’t take any pride in it, and didn’t think it made her superior to other people, giving was just a natural reflex.

That sounds just like our Donkey Brea-Brea

 

[NegaCWC]

For a moment I was going to give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that he meant Bray was half-Aboriginal, half-Asian, which would be an unusual mix I guess, but then I remembered that Flynt likes his Mary Sues to be white as snow and fuckable.

I entertained this idea as well, and then I remembered that John actually drew Brea as a white woman:

Spoiler

Look at that head goddamn.

 

[SteelPlatedHeart]

I entertained this idea as well, and then I remembered that John actually drew Brea as a white woman:

Spoiler

Look at that head goddamn.

Says too much cleavage is out of style while wearing what is basically a tube top.

Okay.

 

[Bonesnap]

The climax of this epic sees Brea Anatomata triumphantly achieving what John Walker Flynt never could

Spoiler

Brea flicked her eyes, locking her gaze with Allison for a moment. It was just enough to communicate “Do you believe this guy?” Finally, the girls heard the words they were waiting for.

“… Brea Anatamata!”

It was Brea’s moment on stage. She took a step or two then preformed her “wink and wave,” with one eye gleaming and her hand on hip, she made a “V” with her fingers. For that moment she was the pop princess she often fantasized about being. People screamed wildly for her. She took the diploma in one hand and the microphone in the other.

“Was there ever any doubt that we would make it?” Brea paused, eating up the cheers from the crowd. “Caio bello! I am getting the hell outta here!” People cheered for her as hard as they could yell.

Also this

Carmet Criser had never met Minuete before she’d gotten the call. The call that had taken her from a hot bar stool and an even hotter blond boytoy. Now she was here. Carmet had gone through police academy training, but had been fired months into job. It wasn’t for incompetence, because Carmet could freaking kick some ass.

It was because she had been caught using a fake id to sell used panties to a sexshop for perverts that liked school girls, because she was totally broke.

Those disgusting old men fetishizing schoolgirls, they probably also obsess over anime for preteen girls where all the main characters wear schoolgirl outfits, like the pedophiles they are.

 

[PantsOfDesire]

I entertained this idea as well, and then I remembered that John actually drew Brea as a white woman:

Spoiler

Look at that head goddamn.

It's curious that she seems to have the neanderthal prominent brow ridge, and even more curious that a brow this prominent would be far more common among male neanderthals. And what is that flesh rectangle on the side of her head? Some kind of external brain pack where she stores her mad engineering skillz?

 

[Accel_Rider]

Now I'm no medical expert or physicist, but wouldn't embedding really hard and sharp shit beneath your skin do more damage to you than anything you hit? Is wuw lad just going out of his way to be edgy?

Nah, I think John is just really stupid.

 

[Bonesnap]

Sometimes authors make the mistake of dating themselves, as in, making references to things that won't be relevant a dozen years later. It can't always be avoided, authors can't predict the future. Here we see one example, while not super egregious, it does show that John's habit of constant wanking over the latest tech fad has been going strong for at least 12 years:

“That’s a nice cell phone,” Minuete started. “Can I take a look at it?” Carmet was actually giddy, removing the pink phone from her belt clip. “It’s the new Motorola, I can swap the faceplates to match what I’m wearing!” she said handing Minuete the tiny phone. Minuete looked at the phone for a moment with disembodied interest.

Then she threw it out the skyscraper window.

See also the woman's characteristics reduced to "ditzy" and "fashion-obsessed".

But here we see the extremely rare and possibly unique example of an author literally dating themselves.

After a night of thought, Brea was more excited than ever at the decision to move to DC. And more nervous then ever about what that meant for her relationship with “John”. She was at “John’s” apartment door, trying to get up the courage to knock. She was reliving their entire relationship in her mind, appreciating the subtlety.

The two paragraphs immediately after that line are a one-two punch of narcissism, delusion, projection, jealousy and honest to god misogyny.

Brea was cursed the way all unique women were cursed in having guys being too nervous to approach her. Maybe they didn’t think they had a shot, or figured she already had a boyfriend. And although Brea certainly was attractive, she wasn’t a typical beauty. Instead of being blond and busty, she was a stylish, petite knockout with a unique sense of fashion. All the same, guys were attracted to her from the incredible energy of her personality. But she was seldom actually asked out.

Despite all the progress women had made in this century, the simple truth is that guys weren’t quite comfortable with driven, intelligent women. There were simply too many sweet-natured blue eyed, blond haired clones that were easy to impress at Bishop. Why complicate maters by meeting someone as unique as Brea?

A petite knockout in the caliber of Lurch of The Addams Family

 

[Yellow Yam Scam]

Sometimes authors make the mistake of dating themselves, as in, making references to things that won't be relevant a dozen years later. It can't always be avoided, authors can't predict the future. Here we see one example, while not super egregious, it does show that John's habit of constant wanking over the latest tech fad has been going strong for at least 12 years:



See also the woman's characteristics reduced to "ditzy" and "fashion-obsessed".

But here we see the extremely rare and possibly unique example of an author literally dating themselves.



The two paragraphs immediately after that line are a one-two punch of narcissism, delusion, projection, jealousy and honest to god misogyny.



A petite knockout in the caliber of Lurch of The Addams Family

I didn't understand this post at first but then it unfolded like a mystery novel.

 

[Von Clausewitz]

It's curious that she seems to have the neanderthal prominent brow ridge, and even more curious that a brow this prominent would be far more common among male neanderthals. And what is that flesh rectangle on the side of her head? Some kind of external brain pack where she stores her mad engineering skillz?

I wonder how Wu realized, that she couldn't just publish these comics of brain-dead, deformed, stylish, mary-sueish, asshole, sorority girls under her deadname alone. Wu is obviously still lacking the social sensitivity to realize on her own how creepy that is. I would really like to know the thought process behind adding the non-existant Lauren Milovy as a co-author.

 

[PantsOfDesire]

I wonder how Wu realized, that she couldn't just publish these comics of brain-dead, deformed, stylish, mary-sueish, asshole, sorority girls under her deadname alone. Wu is obviously still lacking the social sensitivity to realize on her own how creepy that is. I would really like to know the thought process behind adding the non-existant Lauren Milovy as a co-author.

Wu is pretty dishonest, and wasn't any better when she was John. Maybe a marketing ploy to encourage women to take in interest? Perhaps a shield John could use if a woman should accuse John of being sexist.

 

[Norvic]

That McDonalds ad is incredible. I don't exactly work for Saatchi & Saatchi but even I know that starting your advert by telling people your product is terrible is unlikely to impress. Irony yes, sarcasm no.

It's good to know that Wu was having delusions of grandeur long before her $23 million VR idea.

 

[Norvic]

I would really like to know the thought process behind adding the non-existant Lauren Milovy as a co-author.

I expect you meant it in jest, but is there any suspicion that the other employees at Wu's animation company were fabrications? At the time of the court decision to wind up Soc. Unc. the other people with stock in the company were listed as uncontactable. It's a bit of a conspiracy theory with not a shred of hard evidence behind it, but it's an interesting possibility. I do have a hard time believing that anyone could read the stuff Wu wrote and think that this was a venture worth putting time in to. Plus as far as anyone can tell, Soc. Unc. never produced so much as a single frame of actual animation, so you have to wonder what exactly these employees did.

 

[Sarcastic Username]

Guys, they haven't revealed that stuff yet. Please self-delete.