The pests tend to have a problem thinking emotionally rather than logically - when mysteries like this pop up, people choose the best/funniest outcome and circlejerk each other's biases. I'm really starting to believe this was a false flag.
1. Missing Niki. She was "away"? Where? By herself, she doesn't have a job that requires her to travel, maybe she was visiting family that hate Patrick? Whatever the case, if this was a false flag, Niki may have heard the plan and been like "yeah I'm fucking outta here, I ain't going to prison for this shit" and let Patrick deal with the consequences of his plan. There's also the theory Niki or a family member called in the swat, but that's far-fetched.
2. His twitter silence before the swatting. To the point where many (including yours truly) speculated he had to have been on vacation because his tweeting took a noticeable dip. Home Alone Patrick was doing what exactly besides tweeting, his primary addiction?
3. His twitter silence after the swatting. Anthony Cumia (someone asked if he was a pedophile a few pages back, the answer is YES) got fired from O&A after being assaulted by a black lady in Times Square, he went on a drunken tweet rampage against her littered with all sorts of racist shit. Yet Patrick didn't log onto his account and rage-tweet while in a heightened emotional state, he stayed silent as the pests put the puzzle together.
So let's try to construct a narrative that makes logical sense here?
The contact form trolling is getting worse and nobody seems to care. Patrick comes up with a self-SWAT plan, Niki's away, he'll be wearing only a bathrobe so the cops know he doesn't have a concealed weapon. Niki leaves, he paces around the hovel rehearsing the conversation in his head. Charming the police to get them on your side, making them finally realize they need to step in and do something about this. Barely has time to make smug comments about Republicans with all the anxiety. But hey, he's gotten away with several false flags against the cyberstalkers (YouWillNeverFindMe1488, the erasable marker vandalism, the guy on his CCTV that isn't him) so this would should be fine too?
The night arrives, either Patrick (through one of those third party apps the pests text him with) or someone close calls in the scare. Patrick calms his nerves by getting drunk, goes to bed and waits for the knock. The cops show up and don't start coddling him. They're rough, they handcuff him, they want to know where Niki is and not hear his lectures about cyberstalkers. This infuriates him, and with alcohol confidence starts screaming at them that he's the victim and how dare they treat him like this. He also starts crying, because these cops aren't going to focus 100% of their attention on helping him defeat the stalkers.
Cops leave, nobody knows shit. Patrick says nothing on twitter about being swatted, despite the victim points he'd get. Slowly the pests get pieces of the puzzle: the dispatch to his hovel over a "shooting" leads to lurking the facebook page leads to a neighbor sending over the audio. Pests start texting him quotes from the video, imposter children are tweeting the youtube video in his twitter. He realizes they'll probably find a way to get the bodycam footage.
So, only AFTER we get the audio, now Patrick takes a day to come up with his version of the truth. In spite of a very serious crime that could have gotten him shot by a trigger happy cop, he fills the story with actual tough guy facts (it took FOUR of them to cuff a badass like me) and flirty sex Pat references (it was the worst time I was naked and in handcuffs!)
So yeah, he planned a false flag but it backfired and didn't go the way he wanted, so he decided "yeah nobody needs to know about this". The pests find the audio for no reason other than he chose to scream and wake up his neighborhood at 1am, causing him to finally fess up on twitter.
To be a fly on the wall at the Milwaukee PD right now. I think the Chicago cops who investigated the Jussie hate crime knew it was a hoax immediately, but took their time until they had the evidence needed to arrest him.
hef's kiss:. The rascals broke him to the point while in a tense situation, he's making himself look like he's in paranoid psychosis to his local PD.
Attention Science Fiction Fans! 
