Grand Jury speculation thread

[DeeCeeBees]

I wonder if Chris will be banished from the realm and downgraded from Virginia citizen status to West Virginia citizen status.

 

[Deborah "Debbie" Grayson]

Why bother with expensive DNA tests when they can just taste/smell/colour-test it for Fanta?

Think people, think!

 

[I swear she's 18]

You think they'd call Chris up to the stand at the grand jury? I feel like it'd be a good move with the prosecutors hoping for a chimp out when they bring forward accusations and how he tried to defend his actions. Such as bringing up soul bonding. Show he has no self control, no remorse, and acts on impulse.

 

[NuancedTardWrangler]

Personally I think it's him just not being able to cope with the fact reality doesn't actually center around him and his whims

Exactly. Before the idea guys, Chris believed that he was special and that everyone else was just a troll. The whole idea of a “jerkop” or “manajerk” stems from Chris’ warped view of reality. Now that he’s incarcerated, he’s just going to retreat into his own world because he can’t handle consequences.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

If Chris goes go Prison, he will be gang raped. Full stop. All prisons have dirty guards. The fee for them to look the other way is incredibly cheap. Chris is the closest to a woman they have seen in years/decades.

You underestimate the prison population. There are always young, hairless twinks inside ready to take dick.

Hairless Twink > Hideous ape with unwashed ass.

Chris is just going to get his ass kicked for being a sex offender.

 

[Ophelia]

Which is the joke. Being declared unfit for trial due to mental incompetence is a fate worse then death.

As seen in the DC Comic “Arkham Asylum: Living Hell.” An asshole pleas insanity because he doesn’t want to go to prison. The judge sends him to Arkham. Hijinks ensue.

People shouldn’t get their criminal justice system education from comic books and HBO dramas.

---

“Chris isn’t high functioning!” He’s not flopping around on the floor making googoo noises, so yes, he is. But there’s reasons why we don’t use that term anymore.

---

“Why isn’t Barb being charged too? Doesn’t that prove rape?” Maybe because she’s an elderly woman. The prosecution can choose not to charge her even if they suspect it was consensual. We truly don’t know.

 

[RodgerDodger]

I can't afford that much alcohol.

That;s why you use low quality moonshine. It's dirt cheap. Highly concentrated. and can cause blindness, which prevents you ever reading about the motherfucking motherfucker again.

 

[FightenGnome]

Chris Chan vs Virginia, here we go.

Time to prove for real that Virginia is for Virgins (A.K.A. Virginia isn't for motherfuckers).

 

[RodgerDodger]

A question to those that know more than me. But if this wasn't Chris and just a regular case what would be the reasons for it going this way?
Like why would a regular adult incest case take a year before being brought before a grand jury.
Sorry if it was asked and answered earlier.

In my experience, when I have seen things heading in this general direction (and no I have not seen the motherfucking element) really the thing driving on the Prosecution is more the Elder Abuse aspect of it. It's not "He Fucked His Own Mother" it's "He Fucked HIS EIGHTY YEAR OLD MOTHER!" They are probably focusing on the Incest Charge because it is ickily the most straightforward and has the most options. But the underlying motive driving the Prosecution is almost certainly that he is abusing his very elderly mother. They may also have some pressure from the County Family Protective Services on this point. Remember this started as a call to them. They're the ones who got the initial TRO. Just because we have not seen them does not mean they are out of the picture. And a safe bet is they would protest any deal that allows Chris to get out and return to that house and his precious China.

 

[Vindeo]

calling it now. the judge is a kiwi and opens with:

“alright mr. ian brandon anderson i understand in your naivety you have raped your mother and seem to think your innocent. a mr. michael snyder has came all the way from israel with irrefutable evidence of this.”

 

[Deborah "Debbie" Grayson]

Exactly. Before the idea guys, Chris believed that he was special and that everyone else was just a troll. The whole idea of a “jerkop” or “manajerk” stems from Chris’ warped view of reality. Now that he’s incarcerated, he’s just going to retreat into his own world because he can’t handle consequences.

I occasionally go back and binge the early-to-mid parts of Geno’s documentary. Just background noise when gaming or somesuch.

It is scary how much which everyone just chalked-up to innocent sperging was actually him losing touch with reality and seeking more and more comfort in actual delusion.

Like all his rewrites of his encounters with mall cops. Or the run-ins with Walsh, culminating in him using his comic powers against her in her office. Then you have all the copycat sagas where his brain literally melts when other people depict his characters behaving against how they do in his delusions. Rosechu doesn’t have a fucking pickle, Sonichu doesn’t have assburgers, damn it!

There was so much more wrong with him in addition to the ‘tism starting already in his late teens to early twenties.

 

[A Wumpa Fruit]

If Chris goes go Prison, he will be gang raped. Full stop. All prisons have dirty guards. The fee for them to look the other way is incredibly cheap. Chris is the closest to a woman they have seen in years/decades.

Naaaah man, come on, the real life is not a movie

Chris will be ignored by everyone, that, somehow, he hates even more

 

[TestTubePuppy]

It would be very very very very very difficult to prove that Chris was insane.

I didn't say he was. But Heilberg would have been remiss to not delay things so he could get Chris evaluated. If nothing else, it might give him some sort of mitigating factor. When you're defending an adult man-baby who fucked his dementia riddled mom, any kind of defense helps.

 

[TestTubePuppy]

“Why isn’t Barb being charged too? Doesn’t that prove rape?” Maybe because she’s an elderly woman. The prosecution can choose not to charge her even if they suspect it was consensual. We truly don’t know.

Just as a heads up... Normal people would never even consider that incest like this would be consensual.

Sorry for the double post.

 

[A Wumpa Fruit]

Exactly. Before the idea guys, Chris believed that he was special and that everyone else was just a troll. The whole idea of a “jerkop” or “manajerk” stems from Chris’ warped view of reality. Now that he’s incarcerated, he’s just going to retreat into his own world because he can’t handle consequences.

You are forgetting all his warped cartoon ideas about the law, the cartoon satire lawyers, the jury with all reflectors and jokes, the classic cartoon trope of "the character is declared not guilty by the judge, there´s a giant celebration and the character goes home, the end"
He´s already feeling the reality punching his tard, dirty face, let´s just see the rest of the show

 

[Clock]

If Chris goes go Prison, he will be gang raped. Full stop. All prisons have dirty guards. The fee for them to look the other way is incredibly cheap. Chris is the closest to a woman they have seen in years/decades.

If Chris DOES get put in genpop, which probably won't happen considering he's not all there in the head, he's not going to be fucking RAPED. If anything bad will happen to him it's going to be he's killed. Chris is a fucking troon going to hick country prison. A SEX OFFENDER troon, no less. IN HICK COUNTRY PRISON. Sex offenders are essentially subhuman in jail.

This ugly rapist troon comes into genpop and starts talking about he's Jesus? You kidding me? There's always a fair population of religious nuts in jail because that's the easiest thing to turn to on a whim. All it takes is one guy to figure Chris is talking heresy, get unbelievably pissed and fashion himself a shank, and wait until Chris is cranking his hog in the shower to pounce. Since he's a sex offender, probably no one's about to rat.

Or maybe Chris just spergs out and pisses off a gang leader, which very well may happen, I mean, this is Chris we're talking about here.

 

[Digital_Disaster]

He needs to be put away for life.

 

[MeganDodgedABullet]

calling it now. the judge is a kiwi and opens with:

“alright mr. ian brandon anderson i understand in your naivety you have raped your mother and seem to think your innocent. a mr. michael snyder has came all the way from israel with irrefutable evidence of this.”

If I win Lotto I will pay for Mike the Kike, Slaweel and a German warfare bitch to join me in the front row of the public gallery, along with any other dramatis personae of this Greek VA tragedy.

 

[TheBridgeburner]

The question might've been asked already but I was too tired last night to do it myself, if the charge right now is limited to "Incest w/ parent/child", does that mean he isn't charged with rape?

 

[ShitInMyMouth]

You're honestly in as good a position as anyone else on this thread because this is not how anyone with a legal education here predicted this.

This shit is fucked up. Your guess is as good as anyone's.

My honest bet is the system really doesn’t want to touch this shitshow and was hoping it would quietly sort itself out (with Chris killing himself or getting himself killed.)