The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

Who are the top three strongest characters in the Kevin Gibes Inflated Universe (KGIU) canon?

  • Gash Coyote

    Votes: 102 4.5%
  • Rioley

    Votes: 277 12.3%
  • Penis

    Votes: 408 18.1%
  • Loathsome Dung Eater Jen

    Votes: 291 12.9%
  • Boner

    Votes: 294 13.0%
  • Kevin Gibes

    Votes: 671 29.7%
  • The Elusive Earl

    Votes: 701 31.0%
  • Landon Hiscock

    Votes: 262 11.6%
  • The Korps LARP Brigade

    Votes: 200 8.9%
  • Kiwifarms Militia

    Votes: 1,122 49.7%
  • Kindness

    Votes: 650 28.8%
  • Trans Cucumber The Child Abandoner

    Votes: 306 13.6%

  • Total voters
    2,258
Militant eco-warrior animal rights activist kiwi-farm subscribing lesbian ladies will occupy the tranch by force, cast the unlucky crew out to the barren alpaca fields as a sort of conscripted eunuch chain-gang, hand-tilling and restoring the dirt to pristine natural condition, forced to live simply in vegan yurts without their consumer habits, Twitter, and wasteful petrochemical fuelled lifestyle.
FTFY
 
Real talk: where will clan de Penny be after the tranch? Do you guys think everyone's going to let the triad and Jarrod hang out on the land until a mortgage company finally tells them to fuck off, Bonnie pussying out of his "TAKE THE RANCH BACK" plan? Will they then take over Penny's parent's house? Will they live like homeless bums? (Jarrod not withstanding) Will they take up an apartment somewhere? What's in store?

Kinda depends how they play it really. Being lazy ass troons I suspect they are going to quietly decamp in the night soon enough and use the resources to get a trailer/apartment somewhere or whatever. This assumes that their income and any on hand cash is derived from the drywalling/general handyman business they seem to be trying to run.

On the other hand if they play it smart they can gut the tranch, borrow against the business (with some hard gaslighting admittedly), sell everything that is not bolted down and take off with any worthwhile assets (the power tools are a favourite as well as obviously any and all on hand cash) to some new land and start over. They can absolutely walk away from this with at least 100k in their pockets if they do their research and make a small effort. That kind of cash is enough to set up a reasonable off grid, largely self sufficient homestead with no mortgage and bare minimum of bills which is a massive gain on their current position...which they will of course then utterly ruin but they could do it financially.

The third option is they keep riding their sinking ship to the bottom. Say what u like about Penny but dude has resilience and doesn't quit. He may well ride his fantasy down in flames but I don't think he is done with this idea no matter what happens.

The sign to look out for is Kevins toys being sold. When that happens they are moving very shortly afterwards.
 
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Penny lies about being "a farmer and rancher" for most of his life, plus some bonus whining about Christian nationalist sheeple. The irony of Penny calling other people dumb... :lol:
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Another funny picture where you can see the stark contrast in the land.
Also... where are the alpacas, Penny? 🤔 Could it be that you guys have been quietly "downsizing" the alpaca herd since they're so unprofitable, unlike the sheep & goats? Surely not!
View attachment 3540436View attachment 3540435
They will never admit that raising alpacas was a huge mistake. And of course, they'll especially never admit to the mass deaths.
Same energy.
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Serious question: Assuming they decided to just straight-up give the bank the middle finger and default on the mortgage, how long could they realistically keep squatting on the tranch before getting kicked out? Would the bank have much incentive to spend the money and effort trying to evict them from what is effectively a worthless tract of wasteland?
 
Real talk: where will clan de Penny be after the tranch? Do you guys think everyone's going to let the triad and Jarrod hang out on the land until a mortgage company finally tells them to fuck off, Bonnie pussying out of his "TAKE THE RANCH BACK" plan? Will they then take over Penny's parent's house? Will they live like homeless bums? (Jarrod not withstanding) Will they take up an apartment somewhere? What's in store?

They should've never moved to the Tranch. I bet if the gruesome threesome stayed at that smaller place, they could've lived happily ever after (until they had to build new places to store Kevie's Transformers).
 
Serious question: Assuming they decided to just straight-up give the bank the middle finger and default on the mortgage, how long could they realistically keep squatting on the tranch before getting kicked out? Would the bank have much incentive to spend the money and effort trying to evict them from what is effectively a worthless tract of wasteland?
No need to evict. Earl should buy it on the cheap and start dumping his reactors toxic waste on it.
 
They should've never moved to the Tranch. I bet if the gruesome threesome stayed at that smaller place, they could've lived happily ever after (until they had to build new places to store Kevie's Transformers).

Oh yeah spot on. Expansion with uncertain business partners and a foolish move into a poorly understood environment and business model was such a terrible move their case makes for a great example of what not to do.
 
Trannies love pulling out the white supremacy card. If they actually interacted with nonwhite people they’d know that black people and Hispanics think trannies are dangerous, unsightly abominations too.

Instead of waving his limp HRT dick around, Jared should explain how a permaculture expert destroyed his (rented) land.
 
For anyone unaware, this is referring to the Ana Mardoll drama. I did a write-up here if anyone's interested.
The tl;dr is that a semi-notable Twitter SJW was outed as having worked for Lockheed Martin for 15 years, and this kicked off a shitstorm on Twitter.
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Jen also weighed in via retweets:
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Kevin had a lot to say about it:
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/kevin...treb-the-green-salamander.65259/post-12595618
Then he briefly locked his account due to pushback from other twitter troons:
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/kevin...treb-the-green-salamander.65259/post-12599980
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/kevin...treb-the-green-salamander.65259/post-12600897
 
How do you get "fucked over" by MEPS due to being on meds? MEPS is just the all day physical you have to do before they let you join. I don't know if he means they found out he was prescribed meds the day of and told him he was ineligible, he failed some test due to being on the meds, or failed the drug test. Any military kiwis have any idea what the fuck he means?
 
Kiwi Farms restoration project? We buy the land and then rehabilitate it, one shitpost at a time?
If I had Bezos money I'd buy the land and also that other dome house they were LARPing about taking over. Hire the people who turned the desert around Dubai into lush golf courses, experts from Kew Gardens and the Eden Project and curatorial staff from the Victoria & Albert Museum.

Dig the entire area down to substratum and fill in with rich forest humus. Set up the other dome house as a visitor information centre. Build elaborate greenhouses on one part of the land to grow fruit and vegetables that can't be grown in Colorado, and use water capture methods to get as much water as possible. Plant orchards and vegetable beds outside. Farmers markets for all the locals to sell their stuff can be held once a month, and any unsold produce is donated to the Custer County Community Sharing Center Food Pantry. Maybe some wind turbines and solar panels to sell energy back to the local community, plus a little restaurant that only uses local produce.

Land that isn't being used productively would be used to grow vast arrays of native plants and wildflowers. The alpaca death pit would be treated like the London Mithræum - glassed over so people could walk above it and look down at the alpaca skeletons. Little plaques would talk through the history of how it came to be. You wouldn't be allowed to conserve the main Tranch house as-is - too much of a health hazard - but instead it would serve as a museum with curated exhibitions of all the stuff that was no doubt abandoned when the Tranchers fled (some of Kevvie's Transformers, the melted oven, Jarrod's attempt at building a shower, the dead owl that Kindness found and is no doubt still rotting in some corner) with audiovisual displays showcasing some of the best (worst) content the Tranch produced. I'd even offer Ash money he couldn't refuse to give me all the unreleased documentary footage. Locals would be hired as Museum staff and tour guides. Maybe even a couple of historical re-enactors to larp as the Tranchers.

And in one corner of the plot, a paddock/petting zoo of healthy, well fed crias. Artisans would have a little shop where they sell hand crafted alpaca wool products from the sustainable herd of alpacas. Maybe I'd even start up their failed recycling project on the side.

Net result: the Tranch is terraformed into lush productive land and is beloved by locals. Maybe I'd even let Jarrod work there (under supervision) if he agreed to detransition.

And then I'd send my promotional video to Penny.
Real talk: where will clan de Penny be after the tranch? Do you guys think everyone's going to let the triad and Jarrod hang out on the land until a mortgage company finally tells them to fuck off, Bonnie pussying out of his "TAKE THE RANCH BACK" plan? Will they then take over Penny's parent's house? Will they live like homeless bums? (Jarrod not withstanding) Will they take up an apartment somewhere? What's in store?
I've often wondered this. When the wheels come off Penny is going to have to deal with having nowhere to live while ostensibly being on the hook for Jen and Kevin. As before, Jen will be fine as long as you drop him off at a sewage treatment works but Kevin is a liability and will have the mother of all meltdowns if they're housing insecure and consequently he has to abandon the plastic hoard (since they wouldn't be able to afford a moving truck or storage unit).
 
How do you get "fucked over" by MEPS due to being on meds? MEPS is just the all day physical you have to do before they let you join. I don't know if he means they found out he was prescribed meds the day of and told him he was ineligible, he failed some test due to being on the meds, or failed the drug test. Any military kiwis have any idea what the fuck he means?
It's simple. ADHD itself isn't a disqualifier, but ADHD severe enough to require medication to manage it is. He went in there, the doctor said "Do you take any medications?", he said his ADHD med, bam, disqualified.

MEPS doesn't fuck around.
 

lol. Remember, when a Troon is caught lying and being a bully, the important thing is to believe the troon, forgive them, and then give that troon (and all other troons) money. This is how they'll learn to be better people.

For anyone unaware, this is referring to the Ana Mardoll drama. I did a write-up here if anyone's interested.

Kevin had a lot to say about it:
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/kevin...treb-the-green-salamander.65259/post-12595618
Then he briefly locked his account due to pushback from other twitter troons:
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/kevin...treb-the-green-salamander.65259/post-12599980
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/kevin...treb-the-green-salamander.65259/post-12600897

LOL, yeah. Because you guys are doing a bang-up job of policing your own.
Unlike the troon collective, KWF is just collecting and preserving evidence that people can view and form their own conclusions about.
You don't need to read our misgendering hateful posts to see the info dumps.

How do you get "fucked over" by MEPS due to being on meds? MEPS is just the all day physical you have to do before they let you join. I don't know if he means they found out he was prescribed meds the day of and told him he was ineligible, he failed some test due to being on the meds, or failed the drug test. Any military kiwis have any idea what the fuck he means?

Trying to keep this short and have failed: MEPS is more than just the all day physical, it is the board of doctors & administrators who make sure you aren't completely brokedick (and before Obama ruined everything, made sure you weren't a fag could avoid sucking dick in public for at least a couple years) and makes a determination on if you are fit for the military branch you have signed up for, and if so, if they have job that you're interested.
MEPS asks a battery of questions, looks at your ASVAB, and includes you talking to a placement councilor.

If we want to giver him benefit of the doubt, he might be bitching about being fucked over by MEPS for a few reasons.
Depending on when you go, who interviews you, the questions you give, how behind on recruitment they are, and your mental and physical fitness, if you are marginal you may get approved on Tuesday but would have been rejected Wednesday, and might get an enlistment bonus on friday. This is because the openings for units is managed and projected by some DoD system - its based on what's available and what's projected to be available because they have to count on people failing out, retiring, or getting too hurt to work for the army.
In the 90s, in the post cold-war contraction it was a little more straightforward - you either met requirements or they turned you out. This had started to shift in the late nineties as they needed more skilled jobs and not just dumb grunts and the vietnam-era guys were aging out, and then the war on terror happened and that shifted 'waivers' into high gear - i.e. previously any contact with Weed would get you DQ'd instantly, but during the surge you could get a waiver for minor possession counts as a juvie. You could have a waiver and still be rejected - but if you could get a recruiter to send you back you might end up getting a ship date if you had a good ASVAB score and were going in for a hard-to-fill MOS. The recruiters at my recruitment station were working on a couple waivers for GEDs, weed, bad finances, and theft.

I knew two guys with waivers from bootcamp. The company that started after us had one guy who was over recruitment age but had written his senator - the guy took a really indepth physical, got pronounced healthy enough for military service, so based on this and political pressure, the army accepted him (there was something else going on with his enlistment, but I have forgotten it). The other guy was finishing off some kind of pills for something or another - something you're expected to fully recover from, I have completely forgotten now - and he was allowed to get a ship date & inprocess, I think he had like 3 days of pills left and DS held them for him and made him go to sick call for like week after they were finished.
edit: Actually, a third. One guy had a financial waiver because he got a credit card when he was 18 and was stupid.

It also helps if you want to do something the military is hard up for. If not, MEPS will work with your recruiter to fuck with you if you let them.
Your recruiter will send you to MEPS saying "Oh yes, the army has MOS 69X - Daily Blow Job recipient & massage quality control inspector, who ensures that the asian massage parlors around the base are maintaining services to acceptable Government standards. Its a good job, my buddy has that, he's stationed in hawaii and loves it" and they'll send you to the ASVAB testing center, then to a hotel for the night. (You can do these on different days, but standard is to get you in one go). Then they send you to the MEPS center at like 4am. You are made to wait, fill out forms, endure the same talks over and over by military and civilian personnel, spend most of the day in your underwear being poked and prodded by doctors - or WAITING to be poked and prodded by doctors - with nothing to occupy you: No cellphone, no gameboy, no TV, no radio, no book, no notepad & pencil, no ability to go walk around, nothing.
The result of this is - provided you haven't been DQed by this point - by one o'clock you are exhausted and hungry because its lunch time and they won't feed you until you talk to the placement guys.
Finally its your turn to talk to the placement guys: They inform you there are no opening for 69Xs.
Here you have two choices:
First, you can say 'Oh damn, well, I'll try next time' and walk out. In like 6 months you can go through the entire bored in your underwear process all over again to see if there's a 69X opening.
Second, you can listen to the lies - which sound pretty convincing at this point because you want them to be true - that you can enlist as a 69B Jizz Mopper, go through basic training, and then when a 69X slot opens up you can apply for an MOS transfer.
So he may have been told about some coushy MOS and - big surprise - no ship dates for it.

The tl;dr is that if you are a medication you can't go without for 9 weeks, you probably aren't going to make it in. Bootcamp takes everything civilian from you and slowly replaces it with things from the government/PX, and if you can't survive without your meds that'll be a problem. In the days of the Iraq War surge where they were really hard up, there was some flex where they would ship you out to pre-Bootcamp holding if you were taking some medications that didn't have a refill on it (denoting a temporary condition.) but ADHD was not one of those.

Assuming this is true and not troon lies, he may have been prescribed an approved medicine (one you can get from an army doc without negatively impacting your service) that can treat multiple conditions - but because he said it was for ADHD, he's fucked. He also might have had a medication that he knew people in the military were taking, but without understanding that it makes you ineligible for reenlistment*, which would also fuck you for enlistment. I am not fully to speed on the current enlistment requirements, but given the number of people being diagnosed with ADHD its also possible you could be allowed to take an ADHD medication, but only upto a certain dose and his dose was in excess of that (i.e. denoting a disqualifying level that they couldn't just have him quit for Bootcamp and then re-prescribe when he got to his unit).
He may have also tried to enlist for some cushy gig like the Band (there were a few other 'unicorn' MOSes, I have forgotten about them, the Service Band was a big one) and been told there were no openings. I don't know if I believe that, because I'm pretty sure anyone stupid enough to be talked into inverting their own cock would have been talked into an 11-series enlistment as they are about equivilent.

I also know, that unless he was in during the 'fuck you' nineties, he could have gone to a doctor and gotten the doctor to issue a "This condition is mild and shouldn't impair military service" letter unless he was a complete mutant.

* unless you were important and hard to replace, then you'd get a waiver.

tl;dr tl;dr:
Water is wet, Troons lie, This Troon probably really fucked up.
 
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Serious question: Assuming they decided to just straight-up give the bank the middle finger and default on the mortgage, how long could they realistically keep squatting on the tranch before getting kicked out? Would the bank have much incentive to spend the money and effort trying to evict them from what is effectively a worthless tract of wasteland?
My experience has been that evictions are pretty slow on marginal land. I know a few hundred acre commune that's technically the bank's since the official Tenants in Common died about a decade ago and there's been no movement on that front. I would assume there's an element of pragmatism to it, can they actually expect to recoup any of their loss by taking possession of and auctioning the place?
 
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