Weeb Slinger
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 4, 2019
Nic Rekieta is a growing enigma; a man of contradiction and mystery, neither one thing or another, as if his fate hangs on the toss of a coin with the profile of a retarded cow on one side, and on the obverse, a depiction of lady justice, blindfolded, holding aloft a pair of scales.
If the Internet is to be regarded as a trustworthy custodian of factual information, then he stands a clear 12 inches taller than his oinking nemesis, Ethan Ralph. Yet on camera he always gives off strong manlet vibes, as if his ascribed 6+ feet are a fabrication achieved by the clever placement of mirrors.
He is a Christian. In common with the Old Testament patriarchs, that he slavishly fanboys over like they are a K-pop group, he has begatten many offspring who will continue his legacy, whatever that may turn out to be.
Yet he voluntarily attends the modern day Gomorrah that is an anime convention, where minor female E-celebs, cosplaying as characters from degenerate Japanese cartoons, engage in the ritual trampling of the genitals that he used to achieve his feats of reproduction. There has to be some strongly worded warning against exactly this kind of behaviour in the Bible - not couched in modern terms obviously, but something about not consorting with costumed harlots less you be branded on both cheeks and your toes severed as penance and the wounds tarred with pitch.
I don't think Rekieta should be mutilated or deprived of his toes for straying from the righteous path, but there does need to be an intervention and it can't be left to those clowns PPP and Andy. They will bumble around like Laurel and Hardy and fuck it up.
I like to imagine that, when Archie was finally allowed to gather any remaining threads of dignity and shuffle off into the afterlife, he was met by that hooligan, Squirrel Nutkin, from the Beatrix Potter stories:
Archie: "Am I dead?"
Nutkin: "Yeah, since April. The good news is you never have to set foot in Rochford again, or prance around on TikTok, or do any of that nonsense. We keep things real out here. For a start, let's paddle over to that island and throw acorns at the owl who lives there until he loses his shit."
If the Internet is to be regarded as a trustworthy custodian of factual information, then he stands a clear 12 inches taller than his oinking nemesis, Ethan Ralph. Yet on camera he always gives off strong manlet vibes, as if his ascribed 6+ feet are a fabrication achieved by the clever placement of mirrors.
He is a Christian. In common with the Old Testament patriarchs, that he slavishly fanboys over like they are a K-pop group, he has begatten many offspring who will continue his legacy, whatever that may turn out to be.
Yet he voluntarily attends the modern day Gomorrah that is an anime convention, where minor female E-celebs, cosplaying as characters from degenerate Japanese cartoons, engage in the ritual trampling of the genitals that he used to achieve his feats of reproduction. There has to be some strongly worded warning against exactly this kind of behaviour in the Bible - not couched in modern terms obviously, but something about not consorting with costumed harlots less you be branded on both cheeks and your toes severed as penance and the wounds tarred with pitch.
I don't think Rekieta should be mutilated or deprived of his toes for straying from the righteous path, but there does need to be an intervention and it can't be left to those clowns PPP and Andy. They will bumble around like Laurel and Hardy and fuck it up.
I like to imagine that, when Archie was finally allowed to gather any remaining threads of dignity and shuffle off into the afterlife, he was met by that hooligan, Squirrel Nutkin, from the Beatrix Potter stories:
Archie: "Am I dead?"
Nutkin: "Yeah, since April. The good news is you never have to set foot in Rochford again, or prance around on TikTok, or do any of that nonsense. We keep things real out here. For a start, let's paddle over to that island and throw acorns at the owl who lives there until he loses his shit."
