I've thought a lot about what to say here. And the truth is, I really don't want to engage with Kiwi Farms, I am a transgender woman myself and I know that I will just be disrespected there. For every poster who wants to promise me a chance to share my story and be supported, to promises a "fair shake," there are two more who are just going to wax philosophical about how "troons" should die, and we are all pedos. I'm sure, even just from you posting these screenshots, people will be calling me a 'man' and 'boy' and 'fella.' I just want to note that I haven't done anything at all to hurt you folks, and that the stuff some of you say is really harmful and cruel. I'm a human, what difference does it make to you if I live as a woman or a man.
Anyway... For what it's worth, I have been completely legitimate and honest with my information about Keffals. We dated, I have the timeline documented somewhere, but off the top of my head I'm pretty sure it was from some time in 2012, to right before Xmas 2013 when she abruptly uninvited me to a family gathering at her home in London, and then dumped me-- I was literally standing in the bus station waiting to take transit to visit her hometown, when that dumping conversation happened over text. I was supposed to meet and spend time with her family that xmas (including her brother, mom, and her now-deceased father). I thought it was a positive next-step in our relationship. But then, she ended things.
Anyway... During our relationship, she would repeatedly travel from London to the GTA to visit me at my home. This went well for many months. She (going by "Kaylie" at this point) was a burgeoning local political activist in London at that time. She had earned a spot on some sort of local London Youth Advisory Council related to their city hall, and I encouraged and supported her in those endeavours, because I fell in love with her, and because I agreed with her political goals relating to human rights for transgender people. I should mention, at the time she was 19, and I was 29. That's a red flag in retrospect, I wouldn't conduct a relationship with an age-gap like that today. But this was nine years ago, I wasn't as wise, she was sexy and hot, and I made a big mistake. And believe me, I am apologetic about it. But it *was* legal, and I did conduct myself reasonably about it. So I'm willing to accept criticism about this aspect, but believe me, you can't possibly criticize me any harder than I've since criticized myself.
So. That being said... In chats we had, she talked about visiting BDSM clubs and having complicated sex relationships with people. I remember thinking, how can she be this connected and this much into kink communities? I was jealous, to be completely honest. During our relationship, she suggested and pushed me hard for kinkier and kinkier, more violent sex acts. Things I wasn't comfortable with. Sometimes I said 'no..' and sometimes I gave in. But it kept escalating. Bondage ("okay, cool.") Hold me down and be rough ("alright...") Choking ("okay, I guess we can try that.."). Cutting and knives and blood drawing ("no, that's a hard limit for me.."). I should note, that I was the top in these engagements, she was the bottom. So she was basically asking me to do harm and (in my view) abuse her physically, during our sex. The specific incident of consensual sex we had, that she later claims was a forcible rape, happened on Halloween 2013. There were drugs involved that time, for both of us... In retrospect, not a wise decision, but it remained consensual on both sides throughout. We had some mediocre sex, I could tell she wasn't into it (she had an upset look on her), I asked her if she wanted to stop, she nodded yes, and so we quit fucking and I cuddled her to sleep. End of Story.
She seemed fine the next day. In her police statements, she claimed that she never visited or saw me again after Halloween, but that was a lie... She came to visit me in November, and posed for photos smiling and hugging me at a work party of mine (proof that we submitted pre-trial), and we were indeed intimate on that occasion as well. Obviously, she hadn't yet fabricated the rape allegations in her mind yet in November 2013. The rape allegations didn't surface until later, in 2014, when I wouldn't give up control of the website code to her. We fought about it several times, mostly on the telephone (so no written records of those conversations exist, unfortunately). I was eventually arrested for the rape allegation in early 2015. My disgruntled ex-roommate also gave fabricated evidence in that investigation (this was in retaliation for my earlier evicting her). It took me months to get out from under it, eventually the evidence that came out failed to support her claims. Because I am innocent. And, there were suspicious incriminating emails involved in that case as well (weird emails, that seemed drug-induced, sent from her account asking the main detective about whether she should falsely accuse other people to get profit). She later claimed that some third party had hacked her account or gained access to her computers to send those messages.
Now, I wish I could share that specific evidence publicly, especially as it may relate to this 'swatting' case. But my lawyer said at the time that those emails were somehow protected evidence and he would not give me copies, so I don't have them. This false rape accusation blew up my life, ruined a lot of friendships I had, and relationships that I had going on at that time. And it was all driven by some petty revenge energy that she had, over my refusal to surrender my web development work to her for free after a bad breakup. I am a victim and a survivor of sexual assaults. I've been raped, I know what it feels like, and I would never, ever, rape a woman or anyone, under any circumstances. Just being accused of it, by someone I loved, shattered and devastated me. The arrest, and ensuing legal case, felt like being raped all over again. It monolopolized my life and my finances throughout the year 2015. Even now, it has set me back in my goal of buying a home and raising a family with my wife. And the fucked up thing is, after all that she's done to me, part of me still loves her. I have a failing, where I can't stop loving my exes. And in Kaylie's case, all I ever wanted from her was an apology and an acknowledgment how her actions were selfish, and harmed me.
She sicced police forces against me on a made-up story, **for personal gain.** That was the worst, most heart-breaking experience of my life. I know a lot of your forum folks think she's grooming kids, and has naked kid photos on her devices. I honestly never knew her to be like that, I honestly would be very surprised to find out that kind of stuff about her. And I hope that it's not true. But I do know what she did to me. A violent false-arrest? I know what that feels like, because Keffals did it to me. She sent police after me. She put me through the legal system, on a claim that I believe she knew was false. I would not wish that harm on my worst enemy-- And let me say again, I am opposed to swatting, I wish/hope that Keffals wasn't actually swatted, or that the swatter is caught. That being said, while I'm not proud about it, some part of me is now incredibly satisfied and fulfilled that **at least now she knows how it feels** to be arrested for a crime she didn't commit. To have her life under a microscope, because of some external bad actor casting shit in her direction. I don't approve of swatting, but after today, at least I know she knows how she made me feel when she did what she did. I think that's about all I have to say about this.
