Let's Sperg Two Retards Play Advance Wars An Interactive Lets Sperg - "It is Better to live one day a Chain Chomp, than a hundred a Goomba" - Generalissimo Mario Mario

[TheDarknessGrows]

This is awesome.

Also a sad reminder that I could be playing Rebootcamp RIGHT NOW. Goddammit.

 

[Neo-Holstien]

June 9th-15th 2002​

As Kefei marches on Whomp Fortress on June 8th and 9th, @FunPosting101 has his men hide in the bushes, waiting to strike their rockets, @Zaryiu2 and @BanquetMegaBowl set up a defensive line across the river, and @Randall Fragg and @AntiSchwuletteAktion receive the reinforcements.

Hyrule send two assaults' on the bridge while they move their artillery forward, playing dumb to Kefei's plans he foolishly leaves an opening while moving the second Rocket battery on the 11th.

The plan is sprung, by attacking them on two sides, Robert hopes to overwhelm his superior foe,

Kefei splitting his force in two strikes both Spurdo's men, and pounds Zarys across the bridge. Over unprotected Airways the Kefei the Gale pronounces..
"You will have to drag my corpse from this place before I surrender it"

With a strong push with the Tanks, we crush their Tank unit, and open a path clear through to the Rocket Artillery and the rear line, if we can push through to Whomp Fortress, they will have to either push suicide attacks, or pull out.

Spoiler: Gay Semantics

If we crush Kefei's Army here, We could have a force push on Links Army in 8-2 or even land a force in Hyrule to divert men from our country, Hyrule has more men than us by a lot, but only three armies (Link's, Robbie's, and Kefei's) are anything more then infantry and motorized at the moment.

Kefei as it seems is sending in the Triarii with a reserve force pulling up and plugging in the holes, things have just gotten a little more interesting as the 12th comes to a close
"men we are going to push through the ravine into Whomp Fortress, while the armor is pushing we need to set up the artillery on the beaches to block anymore Hylians from pouring across the northern bridge"
"When dhey bush, i wand you do bull bagg and led D dhem ged D real far from dheir nige warm ford, so when dhey go running home dhey will find dhad id has been redurned D do dhe righdful doadsdool"

After 48 hours of engagement things start to slow down on the 14th, but plans to move the rest of the assault across the bridge will commence the 15th, Spurdo and his surviving men are ordered to lay low as to few of them are combat ready to do much good at the moment.

With the army across the bridge and a new stock of men nearing the field the 15th draws to an end, with any luck Kefei will be out of 2-4 by the 29th.

thanks for the support thus far, and I hope to meet up with him for another round later this week.

 

[BanquetMegaBowl]

Soon me and my men will singlehandedly sit on our asses and collect a paycheck

 

[FunPosting101]

We will grush ouur enemies in dha name of teh Mushroom Ghingdom! Vorwards, my brave finnish meme baddalion! : DDDD

Do nod forgedd dhe energy drings and dhe vodga tho. : DDDD

Also don'd agtually attag jusd yed, led dem fall for dhe drap firsd. : DDDD

 

[Neo-Holstien]

June 16th-22nd 2002​

June 16th greets our weary men with some news, @FunPosting101 is recalled to serve on a different front assisting Noah in defending his castle and hopefully preventing an encirclement

Combat on the 16th sees our tank brigade get largely eaten up, the goal for this week is to either force Kefei to pull out of Whomp Fortress, or destroy his rocket artillery.

The 17th is where things heat up again, @Randall Fragg is forced to push his men through the slog of attacking Whomp fortress, @Zaryiu2 suggest having the anti-tank traverse the mountains to cut off reinforcements, Bob receives complaints from Claudia about the Motorized brigades behavior towards her and her maids, @AntiSchwuletteAktion is asked to please behave himself before this grows into an incident.

@BanquetMegaBowl is ordered on the 18th to prepare for combat, he and his men are going to be cutting off the rear, as the southern diversion largely comes to an end, the inability to push through to the ravine has frustrated our attempts at retaking the Fortress within this week.

We finally reach the gates, it appears he has a reserve of Motorized Infantry, that frustrates things further.

Kefei brings up additional Tanks, we can deal with them using Artillery, but they will probably be used to clean up anti tank infantry.

We are pushed back into a defensive position, we continue to send infantry over the mountain

In the end we go no where, but I am going to push for another week, if that week bears no fruit, I will pull the men out. with the week out, Bob Senior and the Spoony Duke are also getting smacked around. The war is not looking good, but if we can hold them in the Mountainous north for another four months, the weather will make an supplying the front difficult. I hope to get the next part out sooner than this one

 

[AntiSchwuletteAktion]

Maybe this SHOULD become an incident.

 

[BanquetMegaBowl]

WOOOO SOME ACTION BABY
get the nukes out in case things go south

 

[Neo-Holstien]

June 23rd-29th 2002​

Alright, we are throwing literally everything at this, (@FunPosting101 your round will be the in next part). The plan is to draw out the Tank brigades to face the Sarasan Tank brigades while we push on the fortress.

While Kefei pushes @Zaryiu2 forces in the ravine, Sasara's Tank brigades make themselves known, but this has the unintended effect of having Kefei pull his men back despite the army being entirely in fields, we are marching up a Rocket Artillery battery of our own to inch it into range of the fortress while keeping it out of range of the other Rocket Artillery. At this time @BanquetMegaBowl is being pulled back to replace @AntiSchwuletteAktion as him and his men are being moved forward after incidents of his men misconduct with Claudia and her staff boils over.

And it begins, the Hylians have a light tank unit ambush. Sasara's counter attack and advance forward on the (probably) defense in depth. The plan is to just throw everything at the fortress, @Randall Fragg remembering his history lessions remember that it took eleven weeks for the Allies to capture this fortress in 1943, and it took them just sending over whelming numbers and just eating the casualties, having hoped to not have to be so barbaric with the men this battle has dragged out for over a month.

Over the course of the next 48 hours, the assault on Whomp Fortress actually leads Kefei to decide that a pull out is in order, He has light tanks attempt to hold Zarys advance while pulling his Southern flank North. Kefei under estimating the pushing power of the right flank gets his precious artillery nailed by the Tanks. This causes a general route to form in his ranks, the Light Tank and Tank units attempt a counter attack to allow the slower forces to properly retreat, but the bridge is largely cut off by Anti-Tank Infantry, on June 29th 2002, Whomp Fortress is recaptured by Robert Chipman II and his men in Army group 3.

Next time, Spurdo intervenes to save Prince Noah.

 

[Neo-Holstien]

June 23rd-29th 2002​

(If you enjoy the LP and have not signed up yet, its never to late to plop a character sheet in the thread)
Arriving on the scene late June 22nd, Noah as it seems is backed into a corner, with him retreating behind his palace guards, Link as it was is attacking five places at once, and our forces are admittedly spread a little thin, with Spurdo only bringing an armored brigade to the front. His plan is simple, rendezvous with the remnants of Army Group Reserve 1

Expecting very little in way of resistance, Sir Pipit attacks what he believes to be the last armor the national army will send his way, Spurdo burst this with his Tank units, losing two motorized units, Pipit pulls back his remaining forces for the time being, save a light tank unit that wipes out the reserve light tank unit.

Attacking on the bridge, probably in an attempt to capture the Prince before the Cavalry can arrive, the hasty attack just has the effect of taking out his tank brigade.

Pushing foward, Pipits left flank collapses, continuing to push on the bridge, Noah's men repel another offensive,

Finally achieving that desired break through, Noah has his men retreat into defensive positions. Spurdo in the mean time cleans up the remaining forces on the mainland, Pipit finds himself in a bind, he can either try to pull out and attempt a break through of Spurdo's forces, or push forward and try to use Noah as a hostage

In the end an agreement was made between Pipit and Spurdo
"I have your Prince with in striking range, if you advance onto that bridge he will perish"
"In dhis gginggdom of ours, where dhe men are gghain gghombs and women are blumb, we have no issue widh dhe surrender of a life, any life. You are surrounded : DD : dd and no gghangge of survival if you addagggg bringge noah dhe sboon"
"Maybe we can work out a less bloody affair then, we will stop fighting, in exchange for being allowed safe passage back to the front"
"I would of my own aggord simbly addagg you and led D who ever dies die, bud bringess beagh would brefer dhad her nebhew lives in dhis world, radher dhan dhe golden mushroom in dhe sgy"
thus Prince Noah was preserved, and the kindness shown by Kefei back in May is repaid.

Kefei pulls out of 2-4 having tied up a third of the united army in terms of equipment for nearly a month, Link reengages with Bob and Daniel of Army group 1 in 8-2 and once again has no conclusive winner, although thousands are left dead, and finally Robbie splits his army into three groups and has them attack three positions, with 8-4 being attacked a week early to draw forces, as well as being the only county that held out upon the second week spring. With June coming to a close Generalissimo Mario opts to follow through with the Reunification with Sasaraland, and opts to sell the strait port of Del Plato to the near by Pirate Republic in exchange for weapons and gear, Hyrule reacts by declaring war on the Space Pirate homeland and increasing the wars scale (it had become clear that France was going to just crush us with peer numbers, so we had the situation rebalanced by adding a third corrupt shithole for France to smack about)

Spoiler: Rankings

(BrGen)Banq:02/25
(MajorGen)Bob II:00/30
(Col)Zary II:16/20
(Col)Aktion:17/20
(BrGen)Fun:06/25
RNJesus fucking hates @Zaryiu2 for some reason, @BanquetMegaBowl and @FunPosting101 rolled spectacular as always, @AntiSchwuletteAktion I opted to give a political tension debuff for honking the princess, and @Randall Fragg has matched his father in rank

 

[FunPosting101]

Dhe Dice godds are wid us today! : DDDD

 

[Blackhole]

Is it too late to claim a spot? I wanna be motorized division.

 

[Neo-Holstien]

Is it too late to claim a spot? I wanna be motorized division.

your in

 

[Blackhole]

your in

Wonderful! I can finally fulfill my dreams of commiting warcrimes in a humvee.

 

[BONE_Buddy]

I have no idea what I am looking at, but it looks autistic.

Put me in where I would best fit.

 

[Kramer on the phone]

so are you just letting two computers fight? why is everyone on one team?

 

[Tisiphone]

You guys suck at actual strategy games. That stuff is in Nintendo's opinion for kids and they are right, but our worthless elites trained by Ivy League institutions no less, can't even play checkers. I mean of course Xi Jinping and Putin will checkmate these fucking morons. Our leaders are worthless idealogues or predatory whores.

 

[Neo-Holstien]

so are you just letting two computers fight? why is everyone on one team?

me and friends get together like DnD and play it with a GM
@Tisiphone I have no eye for tactics, I do a lot better in games like Rome Total war because I can usually out maneuver or produce my enemies on anything harder than Medium.

 

[Blackhole]

You guys suck at actual strategy games. That stuff is in Nintendo's opinion for kids and they are right, but our worthless elites trained by Ivy League institutions no less, can't even play checkers. I mean of course Xi Jinping and Putin will checkmate these fucking morons. Our leaders are worthless idealogues or predatory whores.

I wish this board had access to the political sperging sticker.

 

[Kramer on the phone]

me and friends get together like DnD and play it with a GM
@Tisiphone I have no eye for tactics, I do a lot better in games like Rome Total war because I can usually out maneuver or produce my enemies on anything harder than Medium.

oh ok, thats probably why you aren't that good at wars. its even worse because the format is bad for this day to day basis. 99% of the fun of Wars was the factories and city capturing and then the duel fronts of the 3rd game and the powerups.

 

[BanquetMegaBowl]

Good to see that im not dead yet