This has already been made, but here's a more comprehensive as well as archive-heavy post:
Ralph, lying to the internet (for no reason) about how he wants to visit his son,

"Zzzzandah!"
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Ralph

, then, begins to reminisce about how Sandra (who is burning in a hell hotter than waiting for dialysis on a particular summer day) read books to him as a child.
No, I'm not kidding. I thought at first it was a post tangential to how he wanted to read books to his children (because in the previous post, he said, "in the books"), but it seems to be an entirely different train of thought fueled by a late-night maker's mark, in preparation for his traffic-violation arraignment tomorrow

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@theralph: your good friend
@GaryGrey, suggests to read these books to your bastard children!
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