Aug 11 2022 - Case updated with "Waive right to indictment" and "transportation order" - Review scheduled for next year

[A-№1]

Electric vehicles still need maintenance and when they break down they are much more expensive than an old internal combustion powered engine. Finding tires and replacement parts for these things can be a hassle and if they die you are just out of luck.

Don't get me started on the whole internal combustion versus electric thing. Suffice to say I.C. engines require more ongoing maintenance, but you can basically keep them running forever if you know what you're doing. Electrics require a lot less ongoing maintenance (though not zero), but once they're fucked, they're basically fucked. It's a lot easier to patch up a fuel tank than resurrect an expired battery.

However Chris wouldn't bother maintaining either. He'd just trash any vehicle the moment it stops working, so an electric would probably last him longer.

First, I can totally see Chris getting the Tao Tao Pony just because it has the name "Pony."

That's basically what I was talking about. They've gone up in price. I remember when they (or similar anyways) could be had for less than $500.

As for electric mopeds, I am not quite sure. Even the top of the line moped the Vespa Elettrica has a top speed of 70 KPH (45 MPH) although this is far out of Chris' price range.

But we're talking about scooters, not mopeds. Chris isn't much on the pedaling.

IIRC the Elettrica is a 4kW machine, but has issues with battery life. I think Znen used to make a 500W electric that could do 20mph on the flat. I don't know if they're still making it or what it costs, but it also used to be below $500. Since Chris would be limited to 35mph without an endorsement, he'd be looking at the sub 1kW options anyways.

With all this being said, Chris would need to buy gloves, a motorcycle jacket, motorcycle (kevlar) jeans, and a helmet.

He would only get a helmet. This helmet. I doubt it's certified, but then he might write DOT on the back in crayon. Or simply not care.

Mopeds are just motorized bikes (the "ped" comes from "pedals").

I'm not talking about mopeds, though, but, while we're on the subject, they're a little bit more than just a motorized bicycle. They're more like scooters (or motorcycles depending on the frame) with pedals. A lot of them removed the pedals in the late 1970s (making then nopeds) when moped speed limits were imposed.

Regarding stroads, it's not so much a stroad issue, but a highway issue,

Regardless, rural Virginia is not pedestrian friendly, and vehicles that are too big to qualify for bike lanes but not beefy enough for the motor lanes have issues too.

Could Chris even manage riding a moped?

There's only one way to find out…

Place your bets!

Chris is never gonna ride a motorcycle or a moped or a bike because you can't transport large Lego sets home with them.

How large are these lego sets?

 

[Funeral for a Furry]

You guys all talking about Chris on a bike gives me visions of the ending if easy rider.
But with Angry Weens instead of Southerners .

 

[The Dude]

What the fuck is happening with cwc right now? Is he in prison still? group home confirmed? I'm ganna REEEE

He was never in prison. He was in county jail. There is a very big difference between the two.

 

[Male Idiot]

CHAMPION elektromos háromkerekű scooter időseknek és mozgáskorlátozottaknak

Luxusrobogó, amelyet idősek, mozgássérültek vagy mozgáskorlátozottak számára terveztek, hosszabb utakra és változatos terepekre is alkalmas.

unizdrav.hu

This is 2000 Usd. 15 mph max speed, around 30 miles range, 300 pounds manchild carrying capacity. 3 wheels for tard balance.

Theoretically Chris could have had it. Though I guess niggos/gyppos can easily pick such stuff up and haul it away in a truck.

 

[FamicomGorby]

Chris is never gonna ride a motorcycle or a moped or a bike because you can't transport large Lego sets home with them.

Maybe not the really big ones, but on a step through scooter he could jam the box in between his legs while riding.

For everything else there's lots of straps

Regardless, while I think a Sonichu scooter saga would be funny, I really doubt Chris would be able to ride any motorized two wheel vehicle without crashing or tipping over.

He struggles with a car, people who have seen him drive say he's completely erratic and distracted constantly which is pretty obvious from the list of accidents he's caused on the cwcki

• • On an unknown occasion (possibly the July 2005 crash), Chris claimed in a Mumble chat that he had an accident because his "mind got distracted by being its own calculator".
  • On 22 June 2005, during his encounter with the management of the Charlottesville Wal-Mart, Chris "nearly backed up onto" the store's manager towards the end of their argument. Given the way Chris describes the event (and his general unreliability as a witness), it's hard to say whether the near miss was intentional or accidental.
  • About a month later, on 25 July 2005, Chris caused a minor fender-bender when he rear-ended a car he was following too closely. He was found to be at fault in the accident and ordered to pay $86 in fines and court costs.
  • During his famous run-in with Michael Snyder on 4 June 2010, Chris attempted to flee the parking lot of The GAMe PLACe in his car, but wound up boxed-in by Snyder and a couple of nearby police officers. Snyder claimed that Chris had intentionally tried to run him over with his car, an accusation that Chris loudly denied. Also likely is that Chris, due to his poor coordination skills and admitted intoxication, nearly ran him over by accident in a blind panic.
  • During the 28 October 2011 incident, Chris and Barb attempted to escape the GAMe PLACe parking lot. While doing so, they hit Snyder twice with their car, resulting in unspecified injuries. Both Chris and Barb received a felony failure to stop charge as a result. During their sentencing, Chris was ordered to pay Snyder's medical bills from the incident.
  • In September 2013, Chris caused another fender-bender:
• 
  

  God is giving me the Middle Finger yet again! I backed up and scratched a car in El Agave Lot! And she's a damn Smoker! Now the damn Jerkop is giving me a hard time, because I am screaming up at Freaking Emanuel God! I want God to just kill me Now if he is going to keep giving me middle fingers and a damned difficult life!!![29]

  • In August 2019, Chris backed up into a truck while he was "thinking about the next stop in [his] set of errands". He then left the scene and the Albemarle police tracked him down at his home for his insurance info.[12]
  • On 28 March 2021, Chris backed up into a big rig trailer, causing a smashed rear window and dented door frame to his vehicle.[14]
  • On 23 November 2021, Barb failed to yield the right-of-way[30] in an accident with a tractor trailer, totaling her Dodge Caravan.[31][32]

Though to be fair at least half of these are caused by Chris not looking when backing up, which is a non-issue while on a scooter since they can't reverse.

Getting distracted constantly while thinking about Sonichu or something while riding a scooter/moped is basically a recipe for Chris dying in a horrible collision, or at the very least getting horrible road rash cause ya know he's never gonna wear protective gear.

 

[ObservingTheMadness]

Now it's time for the Mental Ward Saga!!

 

[ANobody]

He was never in prison. He was in county jail. There is a very big difference between the two.

Ive seriously lost count how many times people have had to make that correction. Im imagining the average KF user is a goldsfish with one of those IR keyboards

 

[Hogar Grupal]

It's a real shame no authorities bothered with that house and their pets. They should have been taken away.

Like with the video of Bob confronting Chris about taking the footage of 14 BLC off the internet, lest the county forces them out, I'm surprised weens haven't called the police/animal shelters and say "animal abuse" or "neglect." It only took until last year for the pets to be taken, and it wasn't for that reason.

 

[Osama Bin Laden]

Every single time. Chris was also unintentionally genius by trooning out as he’a essentially untouchable as a retarded transgender person.

His only remaining weakness is that he’s a white redneck but since we’re talking about him and transportation maybe he can get himself in a wreck and become physically disabled.

Upon which he will ascend to his true Teflon Goddess-form as disability trumps white privilege in most peoples’ eyes.

if kingcobrajfs ever arrested, wonder if there’s some autistic energy swap him and chris could do so josh never gets arrested or unless autistic people just automatically get it once they are born

 

[Ass Johnson]

Ive seriously lost count how many times people have had to make that correction. Im imagining the average KF user is a goldsfish with one of those IR keyboards

I just use the term "confinement" now. Either he is free to leave his current location, or he isn't. Survey says he's not going to be able to walk free for a good long while, regardless of what facility type he's in.

 

[TruthSeekingDaimon]

If that's true then why are there still entire communities of autistic incels? Is it because like Chris they want perfect 10 porn stars that don't have a single touch of the tism themselves?

Well yeah autist troonfags hate to be around other autist troonfags. Because they are insufferable and cant take care of themselves, let alone other autists. So they chase normal people to leech off from.

Anyway since Chris is getting transferred to a tard facility, soon they will realize Chris is basically impossible to fix, not the troon stuff but the autism. There is nothing 'wrong' with Chris, as in if you give him food and some place to sleep and some form of activity he just survives. He does not turn violent(he is a coward), self harm(the type that causes visible injuries and kills you) etc. Of course he would come up with some new gimmick to cope like the jesus crap.

He is going to be put in with some other 'slow in the minds' so his reaction is going to be top grade entertainment. The question is whether we will get letters or some equivalent information from his tard home or not.

And I doubt Christory will end with a whimper. Chris is a unique tard who is just adaptable enough to live in modern society, but not intelligent enough to live the way he wants. He is very suggestible and gullible when he is alone, as all the trolls and Isabella proved. I still dont know if he sincerely believes that he is god or not, but it is clear his hubris and ego are always in control of him. Since he will be kept away from Barb, who knows what crime he gets trolled into doing later on.

 

[Brotlov]

So... do we have any actual idea what is happening or are we still writing fanfics.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

Also Chris views riding as more work than walking. Because reasons. We all know how he feels about work.

It's one of the reasons why Chris has the most skinniest legs I've ever seen on a person. I think the more time passes, the more Chris's legs get weak and become atrophied.

Chris rode a bike at one point, but gave up fairly quickly after he fell and skinned his knee.

Talk about not getting back on the bike once you fall off. It's funny that Chris puts most of his effort in trying to get a girlfriend that turns out to be a troll, and later engages with them, but can't use a bike again because he hurt himself. It's like the bike hit Chris or something.

 

[The Dude]

Ive seriously lost count how many times people have had to make that correction. Im imagining the average KF user is a goldsfish with one of those IR keyboards

That's disrespectful to the intelligence of goldfish. We just have a bunch of lazy faggots and entitled Johnny-come-lately types these days who can't be bothered to actually read threads and familiarize themselves with a simple FAQ.

 

[Shovel Mech Pilot]

Why are people assuming that they want to put Chris in a group home? If it's because of the "transport order", those are usually used (in my state) to bring inmates from jail to the courthouse for their hearing if it's going to be in person and not virtual. They can't just cart inmates around whenever they feel like it, they need an order from the court to move them.

 

[LiquidKid]

Ive seriously lost count how many times people have had to make that correction. Im imagining the average KF user is a goldsfish with one of those IR keyboards

I blame it on pop culture using jail and prison interchangeably for decades and the fact that the average person will never have any encounter will law enforcement.
That and it’s literally called “The Prison Saga.” That has definitely confused at least a few people

 

[The Dude]

Why are people assuming that they want to put Chris in a group home? If it's because of the "transport order", those are usually used (in my state) to bring inmates from jail to the courthouse for their hearing if it's going to be in person and not virtual. They can't just cart inmates around whenever they feel like it, they need an order from the court to move them.

Because people have no actual idea what's really going on and they're trying to make guesses based on the minimal info available. Kengle made a post claiming Chris was going to a group home, but he likely knows as much as we do.

 

[El Goblina]

they're trying to make guesses based on the minimal info available

And the people who guess correctly get bragging rights.

 

[Second-Hand Boat Supplies]

Why are people assuming that they want to put Chris in a group home? If it's because of the "transport order", those are usually used (in my state) to bring inmates from jail to the courthouse for their hearing if it's going to be in person and not virtual. They can't just cart inmates around whenever they feel like it, they need an order from the court to move them.

It’s more about the autism deferral motion which is a new thing in Virginia so there isn’t much precedence to prevent speculation. It makes sense though. That deferral path probably lets them impose more restrictions than they could otherwise without conviction.

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

Chris is never gonna ride a motorcycle or a moped or a bike because you can't transport large Lego sets home with them.

Hobo Chris is gonna walk around the streets with a shopping cart full of ponies and will document his daily street experiences from his cell phone using Mcdonald's wifi