Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[r00]

He suffers from Ray Liotta Syndrome, otherwise known as James Woods Disease. Morbid obesity, too.

He looks like a foul mishmash of the corpse of Ray Liotta and a fatter Stewart Lee.

 

[Hot Dog]

What is going on with the side of his face?

View attachment 3609988

He has furrows that appear to possibly be surgical scars.

The picture sorta sucks, I'll enhance what I'm talking about:

View attachment 3610024

I'm certain they aren't artifacts. They sorta follow the facial vasculature, but that would be very unusual for someone his age and obesity. I've seen facial features like that on people 70+ that are somewhat thin. Also, notice those darker points along the lines? Those could easily be where surgical monofilament was tied/knotted. I've seen tracts like that on people that underwent facial reconstruction after an auto accident. In auto accidents that involve windshield/glass you can get strangely shaped injuries such as where glass was embedded or sliced the skin full thickness.

What does the rest of the hive mind think?

His brain is so big it is shattering his skull lol.

More likely years of perpetual beer bloat, not taking care of himself, and other shit has fucked up his skin. If he really was in a huge auto accident he would never shut up about his survival and how tough he is, since he literally has no accomplishments.

 

[Formerly Trucks]

I think the issue with his face here has a simple explanation, the lights the TV crew set up in his musty den are just amplifying his glazed ham-like properties. Exhibit A:


Perfect match.

 

[lemme ASS you a question]

What is going on with the side of his face?

View attachment 3609988

He has furrows that appear to possibly be surgical scars.

The picture sorta sucks, I'll enhance what I'm talking about:

View attachment 3610024

I'm certain they aren't artifacts. They sorta follow the facial vasculature, but that would be very unusual for someone his age and obesity. I've seen facial features like that on people 70+ that are somewhat thin. Also, notice those darker points along the lines? Those could easily be where surgical monofilament was tied/knotted. I've seen tracts like that on people that underwent facial reconstruction after an auto accident. In auto accidents that involve windshield/glass you can get strangely shaped injuries such as where glass was embedded or sliced the skin full thickness.

What does the rest of the hive mind think?

this is how he's been getting away with grinding the bodies of black children into pepperoni this entire time, nobody can catch him when he assumes a new identity every week and this is the first piece to solving his hate crimes thats been spanning for decades

 

[MuuMuu Bunnylips]

Couldn't happen to a better wad of lard.

 

[Johnny Anal Beads]

He looks like a foul mishmash of the corpse of Ray Liotta and a fatter Stewart Lee.

Or like Scottish actor Brian Cox if he had Vaseline smeared all over his face

 

[Ick]

lol I did a double take for this line. since when isn't he the self-described embattled defender of democracy? this is a weird lie for him. it's so off his usual brand.

It makes him look more like a sympathetic victim, plus a local news outlet isn't going to be so explicitly partisan on politics. "Boo hoo they have been trying to kill me because they're sociopathic norm macdonald fans" reads better than "they're fucking with me because I'm an abrasive condescending cunt to everyone who disagrees with me."

 

[FinnSven]

this is how he's been getting away with grinding the bodies of black children into pepperoni this entire time, nobody can catch him when he assumes a new identity every week and this is the first piece to solving his hate crimes thats been spanning for decades

I think it could have been improved tenfold if fat was asked to go into another room halfway through the interview to told you take a seat by Chris Hansen holding a curiously dark pepperoni.

 

[Manul Otocolobus]

I found a picture of the pepperoni Fat Rick made from those missing black children:

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

Ya know, seeing that footage of him getting cuffed actually makes me feel a little bad for him. The way the cops are group hugging him and grabbing ass and nuts makes me empathize a little. I mean, I laughed at the audio of his freakout, but given the context of getting woken up at 3 AM and getting dragged out and molested, I would likely have been screaming too. Why couldn't it have been started by the gunshot detector as originally theorized? It was funny then. Now that I know it's a swatting I can't even laugh at it. I swear, there always has to be "that guy" that ruins the party.

Honestly, I'm worried he'll turn into Chris-chan 2.0 and withdraw from the internet. Stories of an obese pig man hiding in the wilderness outside of Milwaukee, emerging only to prey upon terrified black children, makes for a great urban legend. It doesn't make for a great Kiwi Farms thread.

If he gets killed by the cops, it'd be an ironic death (a pig being killed by pigs; what a lark!), but it'd deny us content. I have no problem with Patrick suffering; he's a genuinely horrible human being who deserves every parody twitter account and act of trolling. I do have a problem with people deliberately sending the cops; American police aren't known for their restraint and a confrontation between the bloated belligerent and the cops can easily end with Patrick being killed. Give me top hats, puzzle pieces, and trash cans if you must, but I want Patrick to live; the longer he lives, the more content we get, and the more money Quasi gets. Patrick spending $100,000 of other people's money in a failed lawsuit is funny. Forcing a confrontation where he's likely to be shot is not.

The one corollary to this would be if, and only if, he put himself in that situation. If Patrick got blackout drunk at Hooligan's and did something so retarded the cops were called and he was shot in the ensuing confrontation (in Roblox), that'd be hilarious.

 

[RembrandtCourage]

American police aren't known for their restraint and a confrontation between the bloated belligerent and the cops can easily end with Patrick being killed.

No it won't. You're forgetting two important factors. One being that fatrick is a coward and two being that he's white. He's guaranteed to be safe even when he's squealing at maximum whine. Now if it were one of his pepperoni victims you were talking about then I'd agree, but even then that isn't too likely. That ishowspeed black dude was swatted recently and he's a total autist and he was alright. Police are a little more wise to swatting than before, though I fully agree it's a dumb as shit thing to do. I just want that lien to build and his ex-wife to raise those kids happy and healthy and away from their deadbeat pepperoni pig genetics father.

 

[r00]

What is going on with the side of his face?

View attachment 3609988

He has furrows that appear to possibly be surgical scars.

The picture sorta sucks, I'll enhance what I'm talking about:

View attachment 3610024

I'm certain they aren't artifacts. They sorta follow the facial vasculature, but that would be very unusual for someone his age and obesity. I've seen facial features like that on people 70+ that are somewhat thin. Also, notice those darker points along the lines? Those could easily be where surgical monofilament was tied/knotted. I've seen tracts like that on people that underwent facial reconstruction after an auto accident. In auto accidents that involve windshield/glass you can get strangely shaped injuries such as where glass was embedded or sliced the skin full thickness.

What does the rest of the hive mind think?

Those are battle scars, accumulated over the course of many a bar room brawl, little one. Im sorry you are so stupid, I cant help you.

 

[FinnSven]

Honestly, I'm worried he'll turn into Chris-chan 2.0 and withdraw from the internet. Stories of an obese pig man hiding in the wilderness outside of Milwaukee, emerging only to prey upon terrified black children, makes for a great urban legend. It doesn't make for a great Kiwi Farms thread.

If he gets killed by the cops, it'd be an ironic death (a pig being killed by pigs; what a lark!), but it'd deny us content. I have no problem with Patrick suffering; he's a genuinely horrible human being who deserves every parody twitter account and act of trolling. I do have a problem with people deliberately sending the cops; American police aren't known for their restraint and a confrontation between the bloated belligerent and the cops can easily end with Patrick being killed. Give me top hats, puzzle pieces, and trash cans if you must, but I want Patrick to live; the longer he lives, the more content we get, and the more money Quasi gets. Patrick spending $100,000 of other people's money in a failed lawsuit is funny. Forcing a confrontation where he's likely to be shot is not.

The one corollary to this would be if, and only if, he put himself in that situation. If Patrick got blackout drunk at Hooligan's and did something so retarded the cops were called and he was shot in the ensuing confrontation (in Roblox), that'd be hilarious.

I agree it would be hilarious if his Roblox avatar was only shot and injured.

Even if boasting about being shot and surviving will make him all the more insufferable.

 

[Johnny Anal Beads]

Why is he so fat, though? I'm thinking it's the obesity; it's gotta be the obesity.

 

[MilkThePig]

Why is he so fat, though? I'm thinking it's the obesity; it's gotta be the obesity.

Rick's fat cells are multiplying at an exponential rate. In fact, leading scientists believe he will cover 60% of the earth's surface by 2030.

"This man poses a a greater threat to the planet than global warming and nuclear weapons combined" one biologist was quoted as saying.

Awful man. Sweaty too.

 

[Piggy Higuera]

Whoa, that side of his face makes him look like The Hound from Game of Thrones. The Round.

Also, whatever brothaman who said TV's Frank was spot-on. He aged really badly too; it must be something that being obsessed with hateful politics does to ya.

 

[artilleryfroth]

Whoa, that side of his face makes him look like The Hound from Game of Thrones. The Round.

Also, whatever brothaman who said TV's Frank was spot-on. He aged really badly too; it must be something that being obsessed with hateful politics does to ya.

“The Round”. I raise my glass to you, good sir. I nearly inhaled my drink.

 

[FinnSven]

Those are battle scars, accumulated over the course of many a bar room brawl, little one. Im sorry you are so stupid, I cant help you.

Just out of interest, how common are bar room brawls in Fat's town and area?

Fights in pubs and nightclubs are really rare here in Scandinavia.
There are occasional shirt pulls and guys getting grabby with women, but fist fights like in the movies literally never happen.

In London, some of the shithole pubs there would be a punch up, but 99.9% of the time this was just two guys hitting each other until a bouncer, bartender or the guys own friends separated them and dragged one or both out.
It might have been more violent in other parts, I can only talk with experience of the north and north east of London.

In the north of England however, I saw a good few near whole pub fights, with people throwing glasses and ashtrays, using furniture and pool cues as weapons. Twice actually I saw two different guys, I think trying to end the fighting, jump onto a table and do a Bruce Lee style kata display. The first one got smacked by a chair, the second had a nice big old chunky glass ashtray thrown at his head.

Security would vary in how they handled it, one occasion the bouncers sprayed all of the combatants with fire extinguishers which shocked them into stopping, another, as there were only two guys on, they just let the 20-30 people have at it until the cops arrived.

One thing for certain though, whoever started it got banned for life. Including scumbags and local hoods who were known for being dangerous and from shithole housing estates.
Many were known members of football hooligan crews/firms/gangs.
Now contrary to American depiction of such people, most of them avoid starting fights like this when its not a pre arranged fight between clubs and they certainly are not like a mafia or biker gang, in which if you touch one, you will later receive a kicking from the others.
They kind of view non hooligan rucks as that guy's own shit to sort out.
That said, normally a few of the crew will be tight, having been friends from schooldays, so even if the wider firm doesn't care, the closer friends will lend a hand, especially if the victim tries to come back with some pals.
But the sort who was already a veteran of arrest and charges rarely fucking cared about more arrests or charges.

These people were often in and out of prison and barely fucking cared about doing more time.
That is one downside to shorter sentences.

The bouncers generally just preferred to phone the cops if such people showed up rather than handle them.
It's not cowardice. Their job is to keep the patrons and staff safe. If the simplest way to do that is refuse entry and call the police to support them, then so be it.

Anyway, as I can only guess that if Fat's area is like this, then I can guess that the people involved are the same kind of thug and dirty fighter.
If Fat thinks he could go toe to toe with the kind of person who even if not fitter, is certainly more crazy and thinks nothing of pushing a glass into a gobby red face, and on a regular basis, then that is the best fiction he has written so far.

 

[Zbk3VmLfujjzjxBd43tL]

What is going on with the side of his face?

View attachment 3609988

He has furrows that appear to possibly be surgical scars.

The picture sorta sucks, I'll enhance what I'm talking about:

View attachment 3610024

I'm certain they aren't artifacts. They sorta follow the facial vasculature, but that would be very unusual for someone his age and obesity. I've seen facial features like that on people 70+ that are somewhat thin. Also, notice those darker points along the lines? Those could easily be where surgical monofilament was tied/knotted. I've seen tracts like that on people that underwent facial reconstruction after an auto accident. In auto accidents that involve windshield/glass you can get strangely shaped injuries such as where glass was embedded or sliced the skin full thickness.

What does the rest of the hive mind think?

In the past I've speculated Pat has a body like a sausage casing that is strained by maintaining a vaguely human shape against all that's fat bulging out. What we are seeing here is the result of that fat breaking free from its fleshy prison and distorting his body even further.

Whatever the case, we can all agree Pat is uniquely fat. He's no ordinary deathfat or hamplanet, that's for sure.

 

[0 0]

Credit to Serious Business:

View attachment 3609991

This is great yet so close to perfection. I don't know if the creator of this reads this thread, but you should've dubbed over the first instance of Pat talking because the audio quality doesn't match up with the edited lines afterwards. Do that and this edit would fool anybody.