Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

Sexy Senior Citizen said:
Honestly, I'm worried he'll turn into Chris-chan 2.0 and withdraw from the internet. Stories of an obese pig man hiding in the wilderness outside of Milwaukee, emerging only to prey upon terrified black children, makes for a great urban legend. It doesn't make for a great Kiwi Farms thread.

If he gets killed by the cops, it'd be an ironic death (a pig being killed by pigs; what a lark!), but it'd deny us content. I have no problem with Patrick suffering; he's a genuinely horrible human being who deserves every parody twitter account and act of trolling. I do have a problem with people deliberately sending the cops; American police aren't known for their restraint and a confrontation between the bloated belligerent and the cops can easily end with Patrick being killed. Give me top hats, puzzle pieces, and trash cans if you must, but I want Patrick to live; the longer he lives, the more content we get, and the more money Quasi gets. Patrick spending $100,000 of other people's money in a failed lawsuit is funny. Forcing a confrontation where he's likely to be shot is not.

The one corollary to this would be if, and only if, he put himself in that situation. If Patrick got blackout drunk at Hooligan's and did something so retarded the cops were called and he was shot in the ensuing confrontation (in Roblox), that'd be hilarious.
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It's crazy that wanting the most basic thing a farmer should want is cause for neg stickers. It's simple: if a cow is taken off the internet or killed, there's no more content. No more thread to laugh at. It's Lolcow 101, right up there with not poking the bear.
 
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SixPennyWalnut said:
Sorry if this has been addressed already but why does his head look like that? I mean genuinely, all jokes aside. What’s going on?

He looks incredibly unhealthy.
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Increasingly the medical profession is moving towards grouping most of the diseases of civilization that so clearly afflict Patrick into "Metabolic syndrome." He has an 'apple' body shape which isn't necessarily genetic, it's usually just an indicator that the body is disproportionately storing visceral (ie in the body cavity, filling in between the viscera) fat rather than subcutaneous (between the muscle and skin) fat. Interestingly, studies that separate these find that being slightly overweight is actually protective of overall health, is associated with reduced all cause mortality, provided that excess weight is subcutaneous fat and not visceral fat.

Visceral fat is typically generated in one of two ways, alcohol metabolism or fructose metabolism. The body processes these molecules in remarkably similar ways which is why kids and teens raised on sugary drinks and low fat (high sugar) processed foods are getting diseases that for all of history prior to the 20th century were limited to lifelong alcoholics, namely nonalcoholic fatty liver disease (NAFLD) and type 2 diabetes. Patrick actually doesn't show as much of his eating habits as he used to but based on those old posts I don't think he has an excessive sweet tooth so my guess is most of his is from excessive alcohol consumption, which is even worse since alcohol is also inherently toxic, especially when consumed in highly concentrated forms like hard liquor.

Frequent, excessive consumption of hard liquor damages basically all organs but is particularly hard on the liver and digestive systems. In many cases, alcohol sweats are the body trying to use a back door solution to get excess alcohol that the liver cannot metabolize out of the body before it kills you. Years of alcohol abuse will cause fatty liver and damage liver function to the point where alcohol sweats will be virtually constant as long as you keep drinking. This constant exposure to trace alcohol will also damage the skin resulting in the constantly inflamed pinkish-red hue. He also likely has prediabetes which can exacerbate the condition.

Patrick, I know you read this forum closely and frequently. If you care about continuing to be a non-present father to your daughter and terrible husband to your lesbian wife, you need to harshly cut back your drinking.
 
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I just watched his interview with the local news and he's positively glowing with joy at the prospect of any entity with any politically legitimized social power taking him seriously. What is it about the male children of female psychologists that renders them narcissistic? They're virtually all enthralled by the Peter Pan syndrome and incapable of committing themselves to any authentic work.
 
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The comparison photos of Pat a few years ago to now is kind of shocking. Alcohol and a shitty diet are obviously to blame for fatness and overall poor appearance but there is something else here too. I think his impotent raging and oinking, on top of publicly taking loss after loss, has him stressed out beyond belief.

It would be a little sad except for the fact that this fat faggot (with bitch tits) is entirely to blame for his own stresses in life. Literally put down the Microsoft Surface and walk out of hooligans so you can touch some grass you dumbass.
 
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RussianParasite said:
The comparison photos of Pat a few years ago to now is kind of shocking. Alcohol and a shitty diet are obviously to blame for fatness and overall poor appearance but there is something else here too.
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I think his mother is obviously to blame for using her psychology knowledge to instill in Patrick a sense of self esteem that goes well beyond sane.
 
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Rick, rare among lolcows, isn't actually lying when he talks about getting constantly harassed. It's common for cows to say that they're being persecuted daily, and the tell for some of them (besides the chronic lying that means you doubt everything they say) is that the moment they actually do receive any pushback or criticism, they gleefully post it online as if it's representative of a much larger whole.

But even with all the tweets, texts and so on that Rick actually does get every single day, he's still provably faked harassment. Most likely because him engaging with all of the messages makes him less sympathetic and more a fucking moron, and also the harassment hasn't reached nearly the degree of real life presence he needs pretend he has reason to fear for his life, and therefore it is a police issue.

Between that and his constant lying, it's possible he really did fake the message to the cops. Personally, I'm unsure, but he's given us and the rascals some good reasons to suspect it, because it really isn't out of the realm of possibility. And I do think he's far more likely to have done the second one, because he knew he wouldn't be home and he had just seen Luke 'Keffals' Roberts dealing with the Canadian police and netting much publicity, sympathy, and 100 grand for his troubles.

So yes, whoever did it, they're a fuckwit. But it could still be Rick, well-established fuckwit. Also, I really doubt he's part of any serial swatter considering he's not even a streamer. From what people have said, apparently a number of at least slightly right-wing streamers have been swatted recently, though I don't know if it was while they were live or not - but Luke and Rick don't fit in to that pattern.

In both cases though, getting on TV was itself a monkey's paw, because they both look hideous on-screen. It's just interesting to note the parallels, since they're likely the two biggest candidates for lolcow of the year with how frequently they fuck up.
 
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Force and Character said:
View attachment 3610823
You can't convince me that this isn't an edit, or a horrifically elaborate mask. This is not the face of a human being.
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it's definitely not normal; it's the product of very specific environmental factors. to achieve a face like this someone would need to

1. talk to TV news about killing his wife
2. be fat
 
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Chicago Worldcon September 1st-5th pig sighting opportunities finally dropped:
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Info is still partial because the trannies in charge are so incompetent they haven't published the schedule yet.

Imagine paying $240 to go listen to some inarticulate 42yo slob mumble about his favorite superheros or aliens from TV of the past 12 months. Reminder he does it for free and just LARPs as if it was a job of his to bestow people with his important opinions.

Other friends of the thread who will be in attendance include Paul Weimer, Eric Hildy and Filthy Pierre.
 
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