The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

Who are the top three strongest characters in the Kevin Gibes Inflated Universe (KGIU) canon?

  • Gash Coyote

    Votes: 102 4.5%
  • Rioley

    Votes: 277 12.3%
  • Penis

    Votes: 408 18.1%
  • Loathsome Dung Eater Jen

    Votes: 291 12.9%
  • Boner

    Votes: 294 13.0%
  • Kevin Gibes

    Votes: 671 29.7%
  • The Elusive Earl

    Votes: 701 31.0%
  • Landon Hiscock

    Votes: 262 11.6%
  • The Korps LARP Brigade

    Votes: 200 8.9%
  • Kiwifarms Militia

    Votes: 1,122 49.7%
  • Kindness

    Votes: 650 28.8%
  • Trans Cucumber The Child Abandoner

    Votes: 306 13.6%

  • Total voters
    2,258
Crosspost from Kevin thread, he's going to have a new stinkditch made from a literal cadaver
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Fedpost Jarrod doing what he does best
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I wonder what the Vegas odds are for "Zombie apocalypse starts at tranny commune"?

Also going to crosspost from Kevin's thread because the Tranch is committed to eliminating all the members of the Kiwi Farms:
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Kevin, how many times do we need to go over this with you? You are our entertainment, how we unwind from a long day. We don't want you dead anymore than you want Tig Notaro or what ever commie "comedian" it is you find funny. You're just like that to us, only actually amusing. We want you and your zombie-franken-not-a-real-pussy to live for a long time. You won't of course, because 41%, but we'll enjoy every second of your failed existence.
 
From what I’m seeing online? Not really. There’s just not much of a market for alpaca wool in the U.S. And nobody here consumes alpaca meat. As mentioned in the OP, alpaca farming appears to operate like a pyramid scheme.

If there’s any money to be made at all, it’s in selling the animals you raise to suckers like the ladies at the tranch. I believe alpacas are advertised as easy to care for and maintain. They don’t require as much land, feed, water, specialized equipment and expertise as, say, cattle.

The tranchers would probably have been better off raising goats or sheep. At least there’s a market for their milk and meat. But I think I remember reading in the Kevin Gibes thread that they don’t want to slaughter animals in order to turn a profit. And raising livestock for milk is extremely hard work.

Here’s an article describing how the bottom fell out of the U.S. alpaca market several years ago, if you’re interested. TLDR is: avoid alpacas if you want to make money on a small farm.
What now?
 
I wonder what the Vegas odds are for "Zombie apocalypse starts at tranny commune"?


Kevin, how many times do we need to go over this with you? You are our entertainment, how we unwind from a long day. We don't want you dead anymore than you want Tig Notaro or what ever commie "comedian" it is you find funny. You're just like that to us, only actually amusing. We want you and your zombie-franken-not-a-real-pussy to live for a long time. You won't of course, because 41%, but we'll enjoy every second of your failed existence.

Totally. Speaking for myself I want Kev to live a long, milk producing life tweeting every detail:). You cannot make up something this amusing.
 
I wonder what the Vegas odds are for "Zombie apocalypse starts at tranny commune"?


Kevin, how many times do we need to go over this with you? You are our entertainment, how we unwind from a long day. We don't want you dead anymore than you want Tig Notaro or what ever commie "comedian" it is you find funny. You're just like that to us, only actually amusing. We want you and your zombie-franken-not-a-real-pussy to live for a long time. You won't of course, because 41%, but we'll enjoy every second of your failed existence.
If it's a 41% chance he offs himself, that means there's a 59% chance he likes himself too much to kill himself. The odds are good that Kevin will be providing us laughs for a long time- unless his Frankenpussy kills him first.
 
If it's a 41% chance he offs himself, that means there's a 59% chance he likes himself too much to kill himself. The odds are good that Kevin will be providing us laughs for a long time- unless his Frankenpussy kills him first.
There’s also the fact that killing yourself is hard work.. I mean, they have guns, granted.. but even getting the stones up to pull a trigger is waaaay beyond Kevin.

100% he will die from simple something like a blood clot from amhoOOo👻oOl complications, as his body gets even more fucked.. maybe fittingly, about age 41.
 
There’s also the fact that killing yourself is hard work.. I mean, they have guns, granted.. but even getting the stones up to pull a trigger is waaaay beyond Kevin.

100% he will die from simple something like a blood clot from amhoOOo👻oOl complications, as his body gets even more fucked.. maybe fittingly, about age 41.
You think?
My money is on the Tranch collapsing financially and Penny and J pull up stakes and leave, conveniently forgetting Kev and Jen to die of starvation. (Kev first since Jen will have a "food source" for a few days more)
 
The tranchers are going to have some new neighbours. According to the latest minutes of their HOA:

John Rice brought to the Board’s attention a matter that is currently drawing significant attention
within the community. Lots 343 and 344 were purchased in April with the intent to establish a
commercial enterprise of growing hemp and CBD production/extraction facility, along with an
800 square foot cabin. Currently there is a 30,000 square foot pad that has been cleared. The
landowners are attempting to obtain a water permit and then will need to obtain special use and
septic permits. Clearly the landowners intent is to build a commercial facility. The Custer
County Planning Department will determine whether the facility gets approved based on zoning
restrictions.
Lindon brought up his concerns about this commercial enterprise, which include (1) use of
water; (2) having a commercial operation within CRAMRA; (3) Custer County has already voted
no to permitting pot within the county; and (4) the disruption to the night skies that greenhouses
will cause.
Sarah McCormick also brought up her concerns about the wildlife in the area and the potential
for wildfires.
Duane Johnson brought up the possibility of the EPA needing to become involved, as well as the
Department of Wildlife. President Wonder will contact the CRAMRA lawyer to discuss.
A final point was brought up by John stating that this commercial enterprise could open up
opportunities for other to build greenhouses and other commercial enterprises.

Soon their visitors won't even have to travel to Denver to stock up on weed. There's a map on this site too, but the resolution's not good enough to read plot numbers.

 

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The disruption to the nightsky the greenhouses cause?

Are they fucking skyscrapers??


Also unrelated but has anyone noticed that Sky is still retweeting the Tranch account begging posts? He just did the plumbing one yesterday.
Can a greater mind than me explain why he would keep doing this when he's moved off ranch and isn't with Boner anymore?
My only guess is his name is on the property so he doesn't want to deal with the repercussions of gallons of Amhole juice and shit flooding the landscape.
 
Also unrelated but has anyone noticed that Sky is still retweeting the Tranch account begging posts? He just did the plumbing one yesterday.
Can a greater mind than me explain why he would keep doing this when he's moved off ranch and isn't with Boner anymore?
My only guess is his name is on the property so he doesn't want to deal with the repercussions of gallons of Amhole juice and shit flooding the landscape.
He's just a massive loser cuck. No need to overthink it.
 
The disruption to the nightsky the greenhouses cause?

Light pollution.
Weed green houses run lights 24/7 because cannabis doesn't need day/night or seasonal cycles, full tilt to get to market. Not sure if you'd do that with a legal grow field in Colorado though.
 
The disruption to the nightsky the greenhouses cause?

Are they fucking skyscrapers??
They are real fuckin' serious about dark skies in that area and having grow lights on all night would fuck that up.

Large swaths of that part of Colorado have very particular rules about outside lighting. Which I get. I wish I could see the stars where I live.


Edit:

Westcliffe is on their map and the woman Fedposter J got into it with is the tourism coordinator and that's one of the things she promotes.


Fuckin' ninjas coming at me out of the dark!
 
They are real fuckin' serious about dark skies in that area and having grow lights on all night would fuck that up.

Large swaths of that part of Colorado have very particular rules about outside lighting. Which I get. I wish I could see the stars where I live.


Edit:

Westcliffe is on their map and the woman Fedposter J got into it with is the tourism coordinator and that's one of the things she promotes.


Fuckin' ninjas coming at me out of the dark!
they're getting the light pollution control right, that state. it's ugly to see a city sky.
 
The disruption to the nightsky the greenhouses cause?

Are they fucking skyscrapers??


Also unrelated but has anyone noticed that Sky is still retweeting the Tranch account begging posts? He just did the plumbing one yesterday.
Can a greater mind than me explain why he would keep doing this when he's moved off ranch and isn't with Boner anymore?
My only guess is his name is on the property so he doesn't want to deal with the repercussions of gallons of Amhole juice and shit flooding the landscape.

Grow ops put out a huge amount of light. And it's in spectra that is even more intrusive than most residential light. It's been an issue in other towns and rural areas.

This is light pollution from a grow op near the small town of Snowflake, Arizona:
60e8bb2e-6162-4eb4-8f75-bcaffa36bc66-snowflake_az - Copy.jpg

And this is a tomato farm in Sweden:
36141058-8990531-TOMATO_SOURCE_The_night_sky_can_be_seen_lit_up_from_the_radiatin-a-49_1606406...jpg
 
If it's a 41% chance he offs himself, that means there's a 59% chance he likes himself too much to kill himself. The odds are good that Kevin will be providing us laughs for a long time- unless his Frankenpussy kills him first.
He keeps living as Kevin until his Amhole totally consumes him. He'll then become a being simply known to mortals as Amsingularity.
 
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Jesus christ I didn't they were that obnoxious. And there's no statutes that disallow it? Madness.
Some places do have regulations, others don't. Some make them too late and have to grandfather in abominations like these. It varies from county to county. The Dark Sky project cited earlier is a good place to learn about those regulations.

On another note, there are other issues with a grow op in Southern Colorado. One is water usage. While not as bad as tomatoes or almonds, cannabis does take a good amount of water to grow. And that water, full of nitrogen & phosphate fertilizer has to go into the local sewage system or worse into a septic system. It costs a lot of money for waste water plants to remove that fertilizer. And any runoff sitting in a septic system is waiting for a flood to get into the local creeks and rivers where it causes algal blooms and fish die off.

As we've seen with the alpacas, the environment out there is very dry. They'd likely be taking from groundwater which could cause issues for nearby farms & ranches. Add to that fishing tourism is big money in Colorado, even in the drier southern portion, so any fish die off from improperly treated water runoff could really hurt the local tourism industry.

Then there are issues with local power grid handling the extraordinary energy requirements, the fact it's not even legal in that county, and a constant stream of low paid workers needing to be housed. These are issues that have caused problems in more developed areas than that very rural county. Most grow ops fail, out in California it's something like 80% and in the US total it's 37%. Mostly because idiots think it's easy money (it's not) and go rent or buy land in places that can't support the op. This sounds like bad deal for the locals.
 
Some places do have regulations, others don't. Some make them too late and have to grandfather in abominations like these. It varies from county to county. The Dark Sky project cited earlier is a good place to learn about those regulations.

On another note, there are other issues with a grow op in Southern Colorado. One is water usage. While not as bad as tomatoes or almonds, cannabis does take a good amount of water to grow. And that water, full of nitrogen & phosphate fertilizer has to go into the local sewage system or worse into a septic system. It costs a lot of money for waste water plants to remove that fertilizer. And any runoff sitting in a septic system is waiting for a flood to get into the local creeks and rivers where it causes algal blooms and fish die off.

As we've seen with the alpacas, the environment out there is very dry. They'd likely be taking from groundwater which could cause issues for nearby farms & ranches. Add to that fishing tourism is big money in Colorado, even in the drier southern portion, so any fish die off from improperly treated water runoff could really hurt the local tourism industry.

Then there are issues with local power grid handling the extraordinary energy requirements, the fact it's not even legal in that county, and a constant stream of low paid workers needing to be housed. These are issues that have caused problems in more developed areas than that very rural county. Most grow ops fail, out in California it's something like 80% and in the US total it's 37%. Mostly because idiots think it's easy money (it's not) and go rent or buy land in places that can't support the op. This sounds like bad deal for the locals.
can't they just- PUT A DAMN CEILING ON IT? maybe a retractable shade at night to keep that in? that's obnoxious.

this plus alpacashwitz in the same town, no good
 

@The Elusive Earl Congratulations on starting up a propane supply company! I especially admire how quickly you sicced your goons on them.

The Tranch almost assuredly just didn't pay the bill for several months, so this spin is just fantastic. The whinging about them being allegedly armed is even more delicious. My sides and irony meter both are in orbit right now
 
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