Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Fatal Walter]

Oh right, it was probably a site. Or just social media.

Edit: We've just gotta hope it wasn't some teenage girl off the street he gave booze to like in Cyril's story.

 

[BPD Gunt Rider]

I'm sickened that my tax dollars pay for this retard to prolong his useless, pathetic life. It's truly amazing that people say "healthcare is a human right" when we have people like Lucas who are literally a net negative for society. Some people just aren't meant to be kept alive. Not suggesting anyone kills him, but why bother taking care of someone who doesn't take care of himself or anyone else?

US social security just sucks. Once you get in the system with the right mental conditions like Lucas, you're quickly given up on and just take your monthly checks for the rest of your life. Meanwhile, there's an endless list of people that really could use the financial help and would make a better life from it, and they'll never get it. I guess it's that way with most government spending though, if the public could see where the money really goes, we'd see revolts.

 

[mothman96]

Lucas claims he lost his virginity at 27. That’s 2006.

I take that claim like I take his claim of having had 8 girlfriends. I say his only sexual experience has been with Suzanne. He was about 31 when he started his relationship with Suzanne.

 

[Zaz]

Were hookup apps even really a thing yet when his old ass was 27?

Hookups have always been a thing.

 

[VoidFace]

Hookups have always been a thing.

But were hookup apps? That was the question.

 

[Jeep1971]

But were hookup apps? That was the question.

Probably those "chat party lines" people used pre-internet. You talked to random local people and could make a date. Very sketchy and catfished.

 

[AmpleApricots]

none of you ever seen "to catch a predator"? It was all aol and whatever chatrooms in the 00s.

If lucas is going into renal failure his time really is limited. Kind of a sad ending, he'll not board up for a last insane stand in the flatbill and bible factory, he'll probably just one day stop posting and then somebody will find an obituary. Most depressing thing is it didn't have to be this way. He isn't even old, really. To be sick and eventually die over something so entirely avoidable as being overweight. Nigga, just stop eating. Problem solved.

 

[37yearolddickrightnow]

The interesting part is that the timeline doesn't add up for him to have lost his virginity to Suzanne. He was in his early 30s with her. Probably just means he hooked up with someone from an app. He did lay out his entire sad sexual history in a goldaor stream for some reason but I definitely don't remember most of it. Aside from him counting a relationship he had for like a week in the 6th grade.

The only plausible one he mentioned (besides Suzanne) was a Plenty of Fish hookup with an extremely obese woman in the mid aughts. So theoretically, this could be the instance of him losing his virginity at 27.

 

[WonderWino]

So, if his kidneys are fucked I wonder how long it'll be before he starts demanding a kidney from his parents or brothers, hurling all kinds of insults at them if they don't. I can't see him taking a refusal that would end with his death lightly and without at least one angry video or post about it. I mean this is the guy who posted publicly about being in his 30s and pissed off his parents were cheaping out on his christmas and birthday gifts

That said, I hope its in video form so someone can make a 'I need a kidney right now right now right now right now' video

 

[WhiskerBiscuit]

The only plausible one he mentioned (besides Suzanne) was a Plenty of Fish hookup with an extremely obese woman in the mid aughts. So theoretically, this could be the instance of him losing his virginity at 27.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

View attachment 3668984

"Fizzled" is a funny way to say "she ran away screaming".

 

[Club Sandwich]

that deranged selfie in his profile is certainly something, isn't it?

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

that deranged selfie in his profile is certainly something, isn't it?

Thats like a professional-quality photo, by Lucas standards:

1. Shirt on
2. Doesn't appear to be in porta potty
3. Food not hanging out of mouth
4. Isn't gesticulating wildly
5. Or grimacing as if in mid-stroke

 

[Twrx]

I don't know if it's laughable that he remembers the exact date, or pitiful. Bet that's exactly where and why he has the demand that a woman have no kids. Really shows just how gigantic of a liar he is. He has repeatedly stated he has never once been with a woman younger than him. Yeah, water is wet, the sky is blue, Lucas lies, but I love when he exposes his own lies.

 

[mothman96]

View attachment 3668984

IF (a big IF) he met a woman via POF the "relationship" fizzled once she got to talk to him IRL and found him to be completely psycho. As @GleamingTheQ-Bert already said - she ran away screaming. I still say the only sex he's had is with Suzanne.

 

[Da Dude123]

If lucas is going into renal failure his time really is limited. Kind of a sad ending, he'll not board up for a last insane stand in the flatbill and bible factory, he'll probably just one day stop posting and then somebody will find an obituary.

Bold of you to assume there will be an obituary. Not sure anyone in Lucas's family cares enough about him to write an obituary. His mom may make a pitty post on FB, but that is about it.

 

[WonderWino]

Bold of you to assume there will be an obituary. Not sure anyone in Lucas's family cares enough about him to write an obituary. His mom may make a pitty post on FB, but that is about it.

Not so much because any of them actually give a shit about him, but assuming myrna hasn't gone full pants shitting dementia patient by then I suspect she'll ensure he gets an obituary. Mostly so that she can use it to paint him as some kind of lifelong victim who was ill and harassed all his life for it or something to that effect, so that she can point to it and play victim one last time to all her wine mom friends

Lucas better hope this is the case, because i'm sure he wouldn't want the kind of obituary a sofalaw or kiwi would write for him, calling him out for the predator he is as the official public record of what people will see if they happen across his name on the internet

That said, the only way lucas is ever going back to school or getting touched by a woman is if his body gets donated to a medical school for teaching purposes. Imagine the rage ghost lucas would have watching a group of medical students getting a lecture from their instructor about MRSA, the dangers of obesity and letting diabetes go untreated like lucas did, as they prepare to do an autopsy and examine his insides for the damage all those things did to him that killed him decades early. With his hobo life and horrifying diet I don't even want to think about what his insides would look like. I can just imagine one of the students asking why the body smells so horrifying and getting told its not decomposition causing that cause he already reeked of unwashed hobo before he died

and of course, medical students being medical students, one of the zoomer bae students is bound to steal a kidney for a prank, drawing ghost lucas to follow her home, calling out every night who has my kidney? whoooooo hassss myyyyy kidneyyyyy???? socialist in name only bigot stealing my kidney! I want my kidney and taking the form of an obese shadow in the corner of her room in the middle of the night, watching her sleep as he tried to do so often in life

 

[The I Scream Man]

I’ll bet a prime roast with a delightful herb butter and all the fixins, along with some tasteful side dishes, that Myrna will try her best to point the finger at us when he dies

Just feels like something she’d do for maximum pity points

 

[WonderWino]

I’ll bet a prime roast with a delightful herb butter and all the fixins, along with some tasteful side dishes, that Myrna will try her best to point the finger at us when he dies

Just feels like something she’d do for maximum pity points

Yeah that wouldn't surprise me. Though it'll show just how much of a sped she is if she does. kf didn't give him the beetus, make him morbidly obese or make him homeless or make him ignore his health until it came back and bit him in the ass. She enabled that fate far more than any of us did, and its not like she offered to welcome him home when he was a hobo freezing on the street or living in shelters. She can't blame anybody else without acknowledging that she didn't do anything to help him either

But of course she'll ignore that, ignore anyone who points it out or just like lucas, block them and play victim . But in the end, fate has already punished her: she will end up a delusional, hallucinating, pants shitting spastic in the next few years, not all that different from lucas himself. Perhaps in a mexican nursing home no less. I wonder what lucas thinks of this and if he secretly chalks it up to short telomeres and that myrna wasn't 16 when she had him or some such shit

 

[mothman96]

I don't think Myrna told the vet the truth about what happened. She fell on her 7lb dog and squashed the poor pup. The vet tried to stand, feed etc? I'd say if the vet knew she had fallen on and squashed the pup, the 1st course of action would have been to check for internal injuries (x-rays etc). Poor pup.