- Joined
- Sep 28, 2019
Imagine.....
Location: A court in Lexington
The suit: Reid, Amber Lynn v City of Lexington
The claim: Allegations of neglect and gross mismanagement, personal injury
The time: At some point in he proceedings
The scene: Hamber waddles up to the stand, is sworn, plants her fat shelf ass in the chair as well as she can; since the chair has arms, she ends up teetering on the edge of the chair
City Attorney (CA): Now, Ms. Reid. You were walking the night of August 16, on the sidewalk, correct? A circuit that you have walked previously and are familiar with?
Hamber: Correct.
CA: The sidewalk itself is solid. No cracks, or bumps, it's even. I think we can all agree on that, yes?
Hamber: (pause) Yee-ees.
CA: OK, so you're walking, at night, on the sidewalk, and in your video, you say you were distracted (exhibit A, clip of Hamber saying she was), correct?
Hamber: I wasn't distracted.
CA: So you lied about that point in your video?
Hamber: Well...
CA: That's fine. Now, you're walking at night, on the sidewalk. In your video, and in your discussion, you were wearing sneakers, half a size too large. You were wearing those shoes, correct?
Hamber: Yes, but I fell and tore my ligaments...
CA: Don't worry, we have a physiology expert to talk about that as well as how your weight affected your fall. Now, you're walking at night, on the sidewalk, in shoes too large, and you were vlogging at the time, correct? I mean, we do have the video, after all. (Chuckles)
Hamber: Yes, but I was looking down and then up sporadically....
CA: Good. Now, Ms. Reid, do you wear corrective lenses?
Hamber: Wear what?
CA: Glasses, or contacts.
Hamber: Yes, I do.
CA: Which is it?
Hamber: Glasses.
CA: In your video, and throughout these proceedings, you are not wearing them.
Hamber: No, they're...
CA: Excuse me, Ms. Reid, that was not a question. We can see that you were not. So, to sum up, you were walking, at night, on a sidewalk without defect, in shoes a half size too large, vlogging by recording yourself, without wearing your glasses. Is that correct?
Hamber (seething): NO.
CA: No? Which part of that is untrue? I remind you that you're under oath, and we have the videos available to view, in the event you require a bit of a refresh of your memory.
Hamber: My foot got caught and I fell and I was debiat..debelti...really hurt!
CA: I'll take that as the statement being true. Thank you further questions.
(Cut to Hamber, red faced, heavily breathing. Pan to jury, looking on, many with disgust.)
Location: A court in Lexington
The suit: Reid, Amber Lynn v City of Lexington
The claim: Allegations of neglect and gross mismanagement, personal injury
The time: At some point in he proceedings
The scene: Hamber waddles up to the stand, is sworn, plants her fat shelf ass in the chair as well as she can; since the chair has arms, she ends up teetering on the edge of the chair
City Attorney (CA): Now, Ms. Reid. You were walking the night of August 16, on the sidewalk, correct? A circuit that you have walked previously and are familiar with?
Hamber: Correct.
CA: The sidewalk itself is solid. No cracks, or bumps, it's even. I think we can all agree on that, yes?
Hamber: (pause) Yee-ees.
CA: OK, so you're walking, at night, on the sidewalk, and in your video, you say you were distracted (exhibit A, clip of Hamber saying she was), correct?
Hamber: I wasn't distracted.
CA: So you lied about that point in your video?
Hamber: Well...
CA: That's fine. Now, you're walking at night, on the sidewalk. In your video, and in your discussion, you were wearing sneakers, half a size too large. You were wearing those shoes, correct?
Hamber: Yes, but I fell and tore my ligaments...
CA: Don't worry, we have a physiology expert to talk about that as well as how your weight affected your fall. Now, you're walking at night, on the sidewalk, in shoes too large, and you were vlogging at the time, correct? I mean, we do have the video, after all. (Chuckles)
Hamber: Yes, but I was looking down and then up sporadically....
CA: Good. Now, Ms. Reid, do you wear corrective lenses?
Hamber: Wear what?
CA: Glasses, or contacts.
Hamber: Yes, I do.
CA: Which is it?
Hamber: Glasses.
CA: In your video, and throughout these proceedings, you are not wearing them.
Hamber: No, they're...
CA: Excuse me, Ms. Reid, that was not a question. We can see that you were not. So, to sum up, you were walking, at night, on a sidewalk without defect, in shoes a half size too large, vlogging by recording yourself, without wearing your glasses. Is that correct?
Hamber (seething): NO.
CA: No? Which part of that is untrue? I remind you that you're under oath, and we have the videos available to view, in the event you require a bit of a refresh of your memory.
Hamber: My foot got caught and I fell and I was debiat..debelti...really hurt!
CA: I'll take that as the statement being true. Thank you further questions.
(Cut to Hamber, red faced, heavily breathing. Pan to jury, looking on, many with disgust.)