- Joined
- Jul 22, 2015
What happens to me? Shall the government of Kangaroo Island come down upon my head? Or will I be murdered by troons and Abos?
ITT I predict your thought crimes
- Thread starter TurdFondler
- Start date
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2019
- Joined
- Oct 17, 2017
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2019
- Joined
- Jul 22, 2021
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2020
Years of party politics, bribery and selling out loved ones finally pays off. You manage to procure a one way ticket to the last remaining superpower, India. At the border you pass through a scanner operated by a female security guard (male). The computer analyzes your brainwaves and realizes you don't actually like girldick. You are shot in the back of the head.
You gag on your lunch time bowl of cricket meal and you do not apologize afterwards. You are crucified, St. Peter style, in front of the Amazon fulfillment center and your last memories consist of everyone you've ever known and loved spitting on your face.
Because of a bit flip error your pod temperature control unit does not shut off for the night. You accidentally enjoy a night of peaceful rest. The pod computer alerts the local Bourgeoisie Prevention Task Force of your climate theft. A Greta Thunberg replicant rips you limb from limb.
you manage to sire a son, healthy with only a hint of scoliosis. You buy him a bean skin and aspartame popsicle, and tell him that when you were his age they made popsicles from fruit juice. The next day CPS takes your child and you're forced to work as an indentured servant for an aboriginee family as reparations for spreading colonialist propaganda
You come down with a terrible fever the day of the mandatory Pride Parade. Sweating and shaky, you fail to muster enough enthusiasm to cheer as the NAMBLA float drives by. As a result, you forfeit your social credit privileges entirely. The Office of Diversity & Inclusion beats you with a rubber hose and dumps you in a gutter. You're eventually rendered into cooking oil.
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2020
Because of the rolling brownouts the bus you're on is stuck in High Efficiency mode, only slightly outpacing a brisk walk. Because of its low batteries, the armor plates cannot deploy and the bus driver refuses to drive through the Diversity District without them. You complain this would never happen if you still had a car. The other passengers push you out of the bus and into the favelas. Your face is found stitched to a soccer ball the next day.
A group of diverse youth with promising futures break into your home. You help them carry out your belongings. They break your legs anyway. When the police ask for a report you politely decline and say you'd prefer not to press charges. After closing the door you sigh loud enough for them to hear. Your face is broadcast globally during the 6 o'clock Racist Review. You don't survive the lynch mob.
You left your phone at home when you went out for dinner. After eating you were unable to post a review or even share the experience to social media. You are charged with antisocial behaviour and conspiracy. You agree to undergo a lobotomy in order to serve a deferred sentence.
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2022
- Joined
- Oct 17, 2017
- Joined
- Jan 25, 2022
I've just committed an enormous genocide against every tranny with my thoughts. They are now dead and their blood is on my hands. If only i could control these psychic powers . . .
- Joined
- Feb 21, 2020
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2020
Failing to adhere to proscribed small talk rules. You did not even try to memorise the talking points from last night's Political Comedy Hour. Your citizenship is forfeit and transferred to an undocumented migrant. Stateless, and legally no longer human you are used for vaccine testing.
Struggling to open a bottle of Soylent you accidentally splatter some on the refrigerator news screen while Emperor Bezos is giving his daily address. Having defiled an image of the world leader (pbuh) you are taken into custody and your hands will be cut off in public during the lunar new years celebration.
You miss ten cents on your tax return. The mail doesn't come to your pod complex after the last three postmen were murdered, you've lost your passport and can't leave your Tranquility & Productivity sector to get new ones. Twenty IRS agents break into your pod at 2 am and arrest you on charges of treason and sedition, as you've stolen from the state. A wheelchair bound agent bumps into the point man, causing his gun to go off. The newspapers print that you died in a firefight after attacking an officer.
You find a single potato in the root cellar of an abandoned home while foraging for maggots. Instead of turning it over to the local Nutrition Council you decide to eat it. Upon returning home your toilet's BM analysis unit notifies the council of your crimes. You are strung up in the town square and starved to death.
You react with slight disapproval (the recordings show a twitch of your brow) upon learning your son has been selected as a Catboy Catamite at Lord Keffal's ranch. You are completely purged from the annals of history, your family reassigned to others and your body incinerated in a blast furnace.
You fail to reciprocate when a woman (male) brushes up against you on the subway. The conductor shackles you into the last car. You're sent to an analysis center for deep brain waveform testing. It's found you're a complete sexual deviant with proclivities for fatphobia, homophobia, transphobia and heterosexuality. You're thrown into a trash compactor.
- Joined
- Apr 8, 2017
SpeedBaller
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2019
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2020
It rained for the first time in years last night. You smell an unusual freshness in the air on your walk to work. You see a tiny seedling poking through cracked concrete. You stop, ever so briefly, to admire it. Your retinal sensors report the stolen time to Musk's Skyhook lair. A high altitude drone fires a laser into your skull destroying your long term memories. You smell burnt toast.
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2020
After the cleaning bot shattered your legs, you were presented with a seven figure bill, itemized, covering the robot's repairs. Desperate, and feeling hopeless you step in front of a speeding truck. The automated semi manages to stop well before hitting you and you're arrested and thrown in debtors prison. Weekly stem cell injections keep you young and healthy for the next two hundred years. You become the most prolific manufacturer of license plates in history.
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2020
Midway through reading your new (party approved) favorite dystopian Young Adult series, the author makes a faux pas at a book signing. You hear rumors of misgendering. Their books are immediately banned. Still emotionally invested in the series, you trade a daily food ration for crypto and buy the series on the dark web. The whole thing is a honeypot. You are burned alongside the books.