Even the Back Rooms are having a hard time foisting up SCP-400#'s demands lately. That's fine though because auntie is here! It's her birthday so we're going to go LiveScream at the mall! Got to make sure we have all the Lush supplies necessary for when we move to the Scamsion which undoubtedly has multiple jetted tubs.
Auntie Rasta does not understand how this entire LiveScream thing works. Chantal is explaining that all of her fans come in and she says hello! They can hear her! They type back to her!
"I'm with my Aunt today for her birthday! Hearts in the chat for my aunt!"
"Yes, I'm with my Rasta Aunt!"
"Yes, definitely I'm Rasta". X for you AUNTIE.
The mortals are giving SCP-400# a wide berth. This is fine though, because we're going to do a Halloween Lush haul and
"Perhaps purchase something for when we move." Perhaps. If you 're all well behaved little mortals.
Rasta Auntie has never before heard of Lush, what a lovely surprise on her birthday.
Time to mindlessly consume!
"This is the one that I have!"
"Hold on I am going to put some of these on." Though nothing can truly cover the scent of absolute desperation that seeps from its pores, SCP-400# is not concerned with masking that odor. No, this is merely to accentuate the fine haze of stale marijuana, halitosis, and drip dried urine. One may suspect that a simple Eau de Toilette is not enough for the job.
Those people are fools.
"There we go you guys wanted me to get therapy."
"How about that?"
We are totally getting these candles! Chantal is trying to get herself a job at Lush and is taking us all on a riveting tour of one of the smallest Lush stores in North America. Those aisles were not designed with a woman of such girth in their midst. Rasta Auntie is nowhere to be heard.
A mortal has yet to appear with a basket, we've been left on a table.
"I just need to go get my wallet, my Aunt has it."
Chantal absolutely handed over her cash willingly to her Aunt. Who has left the store. She didn't go too far though, minders never do. Wranglers? Even less so.
"ReadysetRebeeze" Just a quickie! We're in public after all and have to pay for this Lush stuff! Our total today?
"$133.85." A paltry amount for any to spend in a Lush store, mortal or cryptid.
Auntie has a desire to go to her own store, somewhere she enjoys. She has a coupon for $11.. Chantal offers to pay the rest,
"It's your birthday!" Rasta Auntie is absolutely not interested in accepting anything from SCP-400#. A wise move. All things considered.
Auntie is going to Roots, she has foisted Chantal off to explore another store, alone.
"I want this." Uh...Ma'am?
This is exactly the kind of store you think it is.
"Should I try one hijab? You think?" He will never want you. "Oooh. I don't know how to wear these actually." Shocking.
"I don't really know how to wear hijab."
Time go to find Rasta Auntie.
She is indeed inside of Roots and refusing, still, to allow Chantal to spend absolutely one penny on her.
"Let me buy it for your birthday!"
"No." Auntie turns away.
"Yessss."
Persephone was doomed for the seeds of a pomegranate, who knows the toll one $8 sweater from a cheap fast fashion store will cost one? Rasta Auntie is not in the mood to find out. After three more attempts, SCP-400# flees the store. It must sit. This is so much physical activity.
"I got a Lord of Misrule perfume."
Time to reapply.
Look at all this stuff! Aren't you jealous!
We're not going to Montreal. We're going to Beeze at home.
Tony still not answering those texts? "For the night Beeze, I might have something that I am going to do tonight."
Oh shoot forgot to brush, better just scrape these off.
Chantal is totally going to get a job,
"I want to work at Lush. Even just to volunteer maybe." That's not how jobs work Chantal. "I think they're hiring now, can you guys tell them?"
We're back to fantasizing about a human male again. Who can get this ring fitted for a size 12 ring finger.
Chantal is totally going to post pictures of her lunch with Rasta Auntie on InstaGunt and then later she is going to tell us about this 35 year old guy who randomly messaged her today and totally wants her. If only Rasta Auntie wasn't minding her quite so closely. Time to go check out the market outside!
Hurple powers, activate!
