Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[WonderWino]

Damn I just checked his fb - he has 72 slices of American "cheese"

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I think it goes without saying what he's going to do with those 72 slices of cheese

 

[Al from Dadeville]

I think it goes without saying what he's going to do with those 72 slices of cheese

That's the atheist version of 72 virgins, you get it if you die of complications from type 2 diabetes

 

[Da Dude123]

Damn I just checked his fb - he has 72 slices of American "cheese"

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He posted a while back how he did not like yellow cheese anymore. Now he is buying huge amounts of American cheese and using it on almost everything. 20 lbs of meat is a lot for one person. But everyone is probably right, Lucas will make short work of it and will be moooing for Doordash donations.

 

[Jeremiah the Bullfrog]

IWho the fuck buys 72 slices of American cheese. Just like Phil, Lucas is addicted to shitty cheese. But he hasn't posted a ridiculous amount of pictures of himself at some random store holding cheese.

There's a reason they sell them in that size. A: They keep forever and B: If you have kids you can make a lot of cheap meals for them (it's actually pretty good melted in with rice and grilled cheese is always a classic) C: If you're training a dog, dogs love them as rewards and frankly it's cheaper than doggie treats (though it can give them diarrhea if you overdo it). Hell, I'll occasionally eat a slice as a snack.

Same with the meat. I buy my a flank (is that the right word) of NY Strip, butcher it myself and come out 15 -20 NY Strip Steaks and 5 or so lbs of Hamburger meat (after I feed the scrap through the food processor). It's actually pretty economical (especially when you vacuum seal what you aren't cooking in the next day or two).

Lucas ain't doing any of this. He's decided that he likes meat and cheese and is buying way more of it than he'll eat (or more likely that he will eat but more than he should).

He's trying to make some autistic version of pot roast but is either too stupid or too proud (probably a combination of the two) to read a fucking recipe book. So this all makes perfect sense in his head (just not to anyone else).

 

[Twrx]

There's a reason they sell them in that size. A: They keep forever and B: If you have kids you can make a lot of cheap meals for them (it's actually pretty good melted in with rice and grilled cheese is always a classic) C: If you're training a dog, dogs love them as rewards and frankly it's cheaper than doggie treats (though it can give them diarrhea if you overdo it). Hell, I'll occasionally eat a slice as a snack.

Same with the meat. I buy my a flank (is that the right word) of NY Strip, butcher it myself and come out 15 -20 NY Strip Steaks and 5 or so lbs of Hamburger meat (after I feed the scrap through the food processor). It's actually pretty economical (especially when you vacuum seal what you aren't cooking in the next day or two).

Lucas ain't doing any of this. He's decided that he likes meat and cheese and is buying way more of it than he'll eat (or more likely that he will eat but more than he should).

He's trying to make some autistic version of pot roast but is either too stupid or too proud (probably a combination of the two) to read a fucking recipe book. So this all makes perfect sense in his head (just not to anyone else).

I didn't consider that, had no idea about use in dog training. Learn something new every day.

 

[Jeremiah the Bullfrog]

I didn't consider that, had no idea about use in dog training. Learn something new every day.

Another thing, if you ever need to give a dog a pill, crunch cheese up around it. They'll swallow it whole.

 

[WonderWino]

Another thing, if you ever need to give a dog a pill, crunch cheese up around it. They'll swallow it whole.

Indeed, it works really well. Though on that note I think its a good idea to reiterate its better to use cheese slices rather than artificial cheese spreads like cheese wiz for doing that. Some shitty knockoffs of it uses sweeteners which are very toxic to dogs. Same thing with some kinds of peanut butter

Another suggestion that works well for giving medications to old or sick dogs is crushing the medication into a small cup of thick bone broth made from marrow bones and let the dog drink the broth. It works rather well as most dogs love a little rich fatty soup and the fat masks the taste of the medication well

 

[Spunt]

I'm sure an all-meat-and-cheese diet will do wonders for him. What the hell even happens when a non-compliant diabetic on regular dialysis goes into ketosis anyway? Will he turn inside-out? We must know, for science.

 

[GoutfootHorseface]

Another thing, if you ever need to give a dog a pill, crunch cheese up around it. They'll swallow it whole.

Sounds like a solid plan for Lucas’s tard wrangler to get him back on his meds.

Even the most aged and decrepit pooch could outsmart old Pukas.

 

[Vi0l3t]

Wern blows through a months food benefits in under a week.

 

[WonderWino]

I'm sure an all-meat-and-cheese diet will do wonders for him. What the hell even happens when a non-compliant diabetic on regular dialysis goes into ketosis anyway? Will he turn inside-out? We must know, for science.

At the very least he should be limiting his protein intake, as should anyone once they've been on dialysis. No way they didn't tell him this. But of course lucas being lucas never listens even when its in his best interest to do so

Sounds like a solid plan for Lucas’s tard wrangler to get him back on his meds.

Even the most aged and decrepit pooch could outsmart old Pukas.

The funny thing is it would probably work pretty well to trick him into taking his meds. Lucas doesn't pay attention to much once he perks up and hears the word food. Whereas some dogs are more clever than him and will spit the pill out if they're the stubborn type. Imagine being outsmarted by a dog at 42 years old

Though I suppose it shouldn't be that surprising. Most dogs are far better housebroken than he is and don't piss in sinks. Lucas on the other hand has a history of shitting and pissing himself and shitting on bushes like a dirty old dog that never got trained right

 

[Jeep1971]

Wern blows through a months food benefits in under a week.

Well I guess he figures if he can't have Kilnkerdagger he can still eat steak like a true Prince of the Elkdom.

At the very least he should be limiting his protein intake, as should anyone once they've been on dialysis. No way they didn't tell him this. But of course lucas being lucas never listens even when its in his best interest to do so


The funny thing is it would probably work pretty well to trick him into taking his meds. Lucas doesn't pay attention to much once he perks up and hears the word food. Whereas some dogs are more clever than him and will spit the pill out if they're the stubborn type. Imagine being outsmarted by a dog at 42 years old

Though I suppose it shouldn't be that surprising. Most dogs are far better housebroken than he is and don't piss in sinks. Lucas on the other hand has a history of shitting and pissing himself and shitting on bushes like a dirty old dog that never got trained right

I cannot imagine the stench of any seafood stew he makes because he does not clean up. Nobody wants to smell that and what if his roomie is allergic to shellfish?

Spoiler: Slight PL

I am highly allergic to shellfish... When my partner steams shrimp or similar shit, I have to leave the kitchen and the fan has to be going because the steam can trigger asthma. Just touching it raw or cooked gives me hives. I cringe at how cross contaminated his kitchen area must be. It might be safe for his mrsa ass but his roomie could get sick.

 

[Twrx]

I cannot imagine the stench of any seafood stew he makes because he does not clean up. Nobody wants to smell that and what if his roomie is allergic to shellfish?

Spoiler: Slight PL

I am highly allergic to shellfish... When my partner steams shrimp or similar shit, I have to leave the kitchen and the fan has to be going because the steam can trigger asthma. Just touching it raw or cooked gives me hives. I cringe at how cross contaminated his kitchen area must be. It might be safe for his mrsa ass but his roomie could get sick.

You're making the mistake in thinking Lucas gives a shit about anyone's well-being. Every single person on the planet is a fallout NPC to him.

 

[Krathnami]

This picture is from ~2018 but its my all-time favorite Wern photo. I count 12 blocks of cheese on top of the gallon bucket of cheese balls. The latest grocery haul seems relatively normal, I can't wait to see how he desecrates 20 pounds of meat

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There’s no doubt in my mind that he went through all that cheese within the span of a couple days.

 

[Al from Dadeville]

Yep, I buy this because I have a very elderly dog that will spit out pills if I stuff them in a piece of hotdog weenie. American cheese is sticky so my dog will always eat the pill. I guess the State of Washington hasn't figured out this one neat trick(™) that schizos don't want you to know

 

[AnOminous]

Yep, I buy this because I have a very elderly dog that will spit out pills if I stuff them in a piece of hotdog weenie. American cheese is sticky so my dog will always eat the pill. I guess the State of Washington hasn't figured out this one neat trick(™) that schizos don't want you to know

They have long-acting injectables that last as long as a month or more. I don't know if they're too expensive or what, but they'd seem to be the perfect thing for non-compliant schizos on tard bucks. Every month they get the shot or they don't get the tard bucks.

 

[Da Dude123]

Tubby is back to his cross contamination again. I am hoping that is a cutting board. But as has been stated, he probably did not clean it up after. Salmonella city. And for sure, he should not have raw chicken with everything else. But Lucas is a plenty good cook!

 

[WonderWino]

Tubby is back to his cross contamination again. I am hoping that is a cutting board. But as has been stated, he probably did not clean it up after. Salmonella city. And for sure, he should not have raw chicken with everything else. But Lucas is a plenty good cook!

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Here we go with the salmonella again. As usual lucas doesn't understand the basics of food safety. I fully expect him to claim what hes doing there is plenty good because 'i'm cooking it for a long time' no matter how many times people tell him its about temperature not time cooking. Hopefully he doesn't offer some of that to his roommate and end up poisoning him. I wouldn't wish salmonella on anybody

and of course he just dump the carrots in whole because he's too lazy to slice them up properly

 

[Twrx]

Tubby is back to his cross contamination again. I am hoping that is a cutting board. But as has been stated, he probably did not clean it up after. Salmonella city. And for sure, he should not have raw chicken with everything else. But Lucas is a plenty good cook!

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How has Darwin not claimed his ass yet. Dudes a fucking cockroach.

 

[wenttobermuda]

When news of Lucas’s new accommodations broke, I looked forward to more Chef Wern. Purchasing a $100 box of beef promises a return to form. But something is missing.

Lucas's cooking is interesting when presented as evidence of his suitability as a mate. E.G: hey baby zoom, get a load of these cheesey cukes. Now let me impregnate you. Otherwise, he is just a gross man making gross food.

I hope Lucas does something interesting with the beef.