Containment What If?

What if Chris got thrown inside a tv?
You'll only get it if you've played Persona 4
 
What if Chris actually were a woman? Would he be ugly, or pretty?
 
If this has been 'what if'ed somewhere else or even here forgive me but:

What if Barb is already dead?

Would Chris lie and still collect her checks? Is she sitting in the rocker decomposing and he just hasn't noticed? What if?
 
What if Chris was on the Starship Enterprise?
They'd feed them to the Borg, which would then all fucking die due to his autism crashing their hive mind (in fact, somewhere in Star Trek they discovered a geometric form, that when viewed by a Borg, would kill them all, but didn't use it, cause the Borg are a cool enemy. That's why Batman doesn't kill the Joker: He's too much of a cool enemy).
 
What if Chris somehow manages to unleash the Flood (from Halo) on Earth?
 
What if Chris started an odd jobs service?
He's already got an odd job crossdressing and being one of the most visible LOLs, but if he were to start an odd jobs service, he would not get hired and he would go back to the drawing board...I can't see a 6 foot something autistic male raking leaves in front of a family home in Virginia
 
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