Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[LORD IMPERATOR]

This is why Luke hated the Empire but also didn't give a shit about them being evil, because Tatooine was a hellhole and it was better under Imperial rule than none at all. The problem comes when you want the freedom to live your life and make something of yourself like he did. That's what the Rebellion was fighting for.

That, and according to the cut content for ANH, the Empire was nationalizing industries and seizing financial assets in the core worlds, and they were going to do it to the Outer Rim. Which explains why peasant farmboys and nobles are fighting together against the Emperor. If there's anything that can unite low-class peasants with nobles who were born with a silver spoon in their mouths, it's the seizure of private property by government mandate.

Maybe the Empire has always been OTT evil in a relative sense but we just refuse to bring it up for some reason
Back in the 70s having such unambiguously evil bad guys was refreshing because of how many shades of grey movies coming out back then had.

Especially in the post-Vietnam era where the nation was full of people who questioned its identity. Star Wars was one of the few series that had just good guys on one side and bad guys on the other.

 

[XYZpdq Jr.]

The Empire did nothing wrong?

well...

 

[Ghostse]

Dave and his pet characters really need to fuck off. Taking into account just the PT you'd only think Obi Wan and Yoda were the only Jedi around which is consistent with the OT. Over time more and more of them started surviving and that's when it got dumb as hell. You don't even need Luke anymore. There is still ZERO reasons as to why Ahsoka couldn't have joined Luke or just taken on Sheev and Palpatine on her own.

I'm ok with Jedi surviving Order 66, and sort of meh-but-ok where you've got Jedi who went deep into outter rim to hide and thus didn't keep up on current events. (Hell, if they hadn't fucked up the sequels you could even have Jedi hiding out on far-flung systems in the Imperial Rump State having literally zero clue there had been a galactic civil war). I mean the EU had the surviving Jedi being hunted down and exterminated by Vader over the 20 years between 3 and 4, and that's fine.
Space Aladin's We-can't-space-time-anus-him-back-to-life was at least OK in this regards: Padawan who'd been on the run, hooks up with Rebellion. Hanging out with galactic scum and former separatists, maybe doesn't advertise cool force powers or background.

The dumb part is Jedi who survived 66 and coming out after the rebellion; what the fuck were you doing for 4 years? Obi at least had a mission.


[Screams about Ahsoka's death being absolutely and utter perfect and the space time anus for the 50th time]

 

[Mr. Zed da Robot Poon Fed]

View attachment 3831417
Here's the cast photo. A bunch of literal whos and Trinity from The Matrix (who looks good for her age imo). Too bad it's gonna completely eat shit when it comes out. Considering how diverse and inclusive it is they can blame its failure on the fans being racist sexists incels like they always do.

Also J.D. Dillard's Star Wars movie has been cancelled. I didn't even know it was greenlit in the first place.
View attachment 3831447
who the hell is this guy?

Lee Jung-Jae is the Squid Game guy. I managed to recognize him.

Everyone else besides him and Moss are a bunch of literally-whos.

And wow, another Star Wars movie cancelled. Shocking.

 

[Creep3r]

Lee Jung-Jae is the Squid Game guy. I managed to recognize him.

Everyone else besides him and Moss are a bunch of literally-whos.

And wow, another Star Wars movie cancelled. Shocking.

They've been cancelling and postponing projects left and right (games, movies, shows, etc) which I can only assume is due to Chapek's constant budget cuts, the disastrous Nielsen ratings results for the new shows and the slow disappearance of merch in stores (whose fucking bright idea was it to make a Mandalorian mascara and R2-D2 perfume the hot new SW products of the year? lmao). Its gotten to the point where they're now just dropping all these poorly announced spinoff films and are just looking for a director to kickstart a proper sequel-SEQUEL-trilogy to Ma-Rey-Sue and friends' adventure as if that would fix anything.

So, for the few multi-celled organisms who remember that the High Republic exists, that upcoming show set in that era (being heralded by Harvey Weinstein's assistant) has just announced its cast.

I can't post a pick thanks to TOR shenanigans, but if you squint, you can spot an actor from another sci-fi franchise that was recently revived to be ruined beyond repair.

Aside from the absolutely hilarious disaster that is the High Republic, there's also the recent disastrous failures of the Disney Wars Hotel. Its gotten so bad that not only is the cringy lounge act a bust but they've resorted to letting people enter the empty rooms for free just to raise traffic.

Disney Star Wars Hotel FAILURE Worse Than We Thought! | Cringe Galactic Starcruiser Is Nearly EMPTY!

Get an incredible new custom or prebuilt PC from META PCs, use the code RKOutpost for a discount! https://www.metapcs.com/ref/rkoutpost/Join my community on ...

www.youtube.com

Demand For Disney's Galactic Starcruiser Crashes

Is a change coming to Disney's Galactic Starcruiser?

insidethemagic.net

Disney World's Costly Galactic Starcruiser Now More Like a Prison Than a Hotel

A new comparison finds the $5,000 hotel is like a correctional facility.

insidethemagic.net

Disney's Fatal Mistake with the Galactic Starcruiser

Where did they go wrong?

insidethemagic.net

Disney Doesn't Want Lower Crowds.

Don't believe everything Disney tells you. If the company never misled, every menu item everywhere would actually be "yummy" or "tasty." Each new attraction would be the first-of-its-kind somehow. All upcharge experiences would be "magical"

www.disneytouristblog.com

Is Star Wars Now A Dead Brand?

After a plethora of failures from the recent Andor series, the major question on everyone's mind is whether or not Star Wars is a dead brand.

www.giantfreakinrobot.com

And this is without getting into detail about the other problems with Disney atm, such as the menus, financial issues, Bob Cheapskate's budget cuts and price hiking, the constantly failing and increasingly shrinking Disney Wars rides, Hasbro having to rely on the EU again to save their hides due to their Disney Wars Sequel toys, Disney+ toys and Nostalgia boomer toy lines failing to raise interest (especially after that failed Inquisitor lightsaber and shitty rancor crowdfunding experiments proved to be laughing stocks), the cancelled, games, Disney twitter imploding since Musk came along, the Marvel drama, former CEOs shit-talking Disney and Chapek, and so much more. Its been a good couple of months aside from all the troon attacks on KF.

Even disney wars redditfags are absolutely imploding, with even the most devout Disney drones and Filoni wolfaboos biting each others heads off.

r/PrequelMemes - The original meme isn't mine I just remastered it

41,976 votes and 1,440 comments so far on Reddit

www.reddit.com

(Good lord look at how they butchered r/prequelmemes into an unrecognizable mess of trannyfaggotry and disney memes not even relating to the prequels)

 

[Mississippi Motorboater]

Not wholly SW-related, but LucasFilm related regardless. I'm utterly flabbergasted by this announcement, it's beyond words.

​

They're trying to make a cinematic universe out of Indiana Jones of all things. To take the most mundane passing dialogue from the script of Raiders and make an entire TV series about it.

To say this misses the ENTIRE point of standalone pulp adventure stories that Indiana Jones is derived from would be a gross understatement. Long-form continuity nonsense about background elements or characters like this is the exact opposite of the storytelling conventions of the old action adventure serials and dime pulps. You had shows about The Shadow and The Green Hornet, not ones solely focused on their fucking drivers. You had books about Zorro, not the origin of his sword or whip. You had films and cartoons about the Phantom, not the origins of his fucking horse.

For God's sake, you retards, you can't spray your retarded Marvel Formula like a can of paint over every IP that exists, because they're not all conducive to that fucking storytelling template. I can't believe these people.

 

[LORD IMPERATOR]

Not wholly SW-related, but LucasFilm related regardless. I'm utterly flabbergasted by this announcement, it's beyond words.

​

They're trying to make a cinematic universe out of Indiana Jones of all things. To take the most mundane passing dialogue from the script of Raiders and make an entire TV series about it.

To say this misses the ENTIRE point of standalone pulp adventure stories that Indiana Jones is derived from would be a gross understatement. Long-form continuity nonsense about background elements or characters like this is the exact opposite of the storytelling conventions of the old action adventure serials and dime pulps. You had shows about The Shadow and The Green Hornet, not ones solely focused on their fucking drivers. You had books about Zorro, not the origin of his sword or whip. You had films and cartoons about the Phantom, not the origins of his fucking horse.

For God's sake, you retards, you can't spray your retarded Marvel Formula like a can of paint over every IP that exists, because they're not all conducive to that fucking storytelling template. I can't believe these people.

Welcome to the world of business. It's all about following trends that make money. Something makes big bank, and the other idiots follow it and try to make their own thing that's similar.

Even Star Wars had this when ANH hit theaters and became a big success. Many movies then tried to copy its formula and aesthetics, to mixed success.

 

[Adamska]

Not wholly SW-related, but LucasFilm related regardless. I'm utterly flabbergasted by this announcement, it's beyond words.

​

They're trying to make a cinematic universe out of Indiana Jones of all things. To take the most mundane passing dialogue from the script of Raiders and make an entire TV series about it.

To say this misses the ENTIRE point of standalone pulp adventure stories that Indiana Jones is derived from would be a gross understatement. Long-form continuity nonsense about background elements or characters like this is the exact opposite of the storytelling conventions of the old action adventure serials and dime pulps. You had shows about The Shadow and The Green Hornet, not ones solely focused on their fucking drivers. You had books about Zorro, not the origin of his sword or whip. You had films and cartoons about the Phantom, not the origins of his fucking horse.

For God's sake, you retards, you can't spray your retarded Marvel Formula like a can of paint over every IP that exists, because they're not all conducive to that fucking storytelling template. I can't believe these people.

This is the type of pitch that used to be made fun of openly as a jest, because it's so brain dead that the Hollyweird of 40 years ago would've fired you for being dumb enough to pitch it. The level of incompetence at full display for the modern hacks and dying geezers running the shitshow.

They know they want to make money on Indy, but are too chickenshit to try again by getting someone to impersonate Harrison since Solo flopped. Ignore they casted the worst of the actors for that role and Kathy's hideous ineptitude at running the project.

Not that I'd expect any quality from anything the Rat shits out these days.

 

[Sneed F91]

Welcome to the world of business. It's all about following trends that make money. Something makes big bank, and the other idiots follow it and try to make their own thing that's similar.

But that's the thing though. Indy 5 hasn't even come out yet. It could make money, but it could also underperform compared to whatever expectations they have like Soylo did.

there's also the recent disastrous failures of the Disney Wars Hotel.

...They made a Star Wars hotel?

because it's so brain dead that the Hollyweird of 40 years ago would've fired you for being dumb enough to pitch it.

You seriously underestimate how retarded Hollywood has always been. Think about how many classic movies almost didn't get made just because the execs in charge didn't understand them.

 

[XYZpdq Jr.]

...They made a Star Wars hotel?

indeed, with all the larping spastics you'd try to avoid at cons, but now you're paying thousands of dollars for it!

 

[Uranus Pink]

You had films and cartoons about the Phantom, not the origins of his fucking horse.

Funny you mentioned the Phantom as it done a similar JoJo family shtick decades before JoJo Bizarre Adventure was created. Which makes the quoted example even more tardastic and highly probable Hollywood will do it.

 

[Involuntary Celebrity]

Yeah pretend you wouldn't like to lay a girl down on the chessboard inside a millennium falcon

To say this misses the ENTIRE point of standalone pulp adventure stories that Indiana Jones is derived from would be a gross understatement.

I dunno, that shit doesn't feel that removed from those trashy wank serialised jungle man and pirate man strips with too many fucking words (all italics) that have been running in newspapers since I was a kid and don't feel like they've finished a single storyline since then, or as far as I would know, since the 1920s. Not that I would know.

I just mean it's not that far from here to there, so it could work. I have no expectation that this is what they're trying to do or that it will work, though. Indiana Jones without Indiana Jones sounds like an impressively stupid idea.

 

[Mississippi Motorboater]

I dunno, that shit doesn't feel that removed from those trashy wank serialised jungle man and pirate man strips with too many fucking words (all italics) that have been running in newspapers since I was a kid and don't feel like they've finished a single storyline since then, or as far as I would know, since the 1920s. Not that I would know.

That's just it. Pulps didn't rely on long-form "storylines". They're episodic and unrelated to each other by design, for ease of consumption. Most of them were bite-sized tales by design, ones that wouldn't exceed the length of their dimestore page binding, before moving onto the next adventure, of which you wouldn't need prior knowledge of the last book to read and enjoy.

You wouldn't need to read about Conan's exploits in Tower of the Elephant to enjoy Red Nails. Likewise, you didn't need to read the first of Walter Gibson's Shadow novels to enjoy the 283rd one (yes, he wrote that many). Each storyline was started, finished, and unrelated to the next one.

The MCU isn't a cancerous boil simply because it's a neverending slew of stories---it's because it's a neverending slew of obnoxious, continuity-reliant dreck hobbling on Easter Eggs, cameos, and shared universe convolution instead of substance. Which is the polar opposite of pulp's monster-of-the-week shenanigans.

Or in the case of Indiana Jones, artifact-of-the-week.

 

[Involuntary Celebrity]

It's also not a dime novel, though. And never was. It's a movie(s), and wasn't a purist adaptation of the format in the first place but a property influenced by a bunch of stuff.
So messing with the formula is okay. Although I think the right way to continue (and recover) at this point would be to revisit its roots, there's root-adjacent ideas that could impart the right vibe to the modern format too which are more compatible.

In principle. I'm not arguing for this pitch; it'll probably be shit.

 

[Screamer_2]

Not wholly SW-related, but LucasFilm related regardless. I'm utterly flabbergasted by this announcement, it's beyond words.

​

They're trying to make a cinematic universe out of Indiana Jones of all things. To take the most mundane passing dialogue from the script of Raiders and make an entire TV series about it.

To say this misses the ENTIRE point of standalone pulp adventure stories that Indiana Jones is derived from would be a gross understatement. Long-form continuity nonsense about background elements or characters like this is the exact opposite of the storytelling conventions of the old action adventure serials and dime pulps. You had shows about The Shadow and The Green Hornet, not ones solely focused on their fucking drivers. You had books about Zorro, not the origin of his sword or whip. You had films and cartoons about the Phantom, not the origins of his fucking horse.

For God's sake, you retards, you can't spray your retarded Marvel Formula like a can of paint over every IP that exists, because they're not all conducive to that fucking storytelling template. I can't believe these people.

So not an Indiana Jones series?

So let's think about the ways they will use this to destroy the legacy of Indiana Jones. Ignoring, for now, the supposed retarded plotline of the new film, which is so dumb it simultaneously has to be fake and also 100% probably what they would do.

It will ignore the flashbacks in Last Crusade and the Young Indy series. It will transfer elements of Indy onto Abner. Making Indy someone who is aping his much cooler professor and less of an individual. He'll also have a hat and a whip. He may be half-black.

Marion will probably be the main character. A young and plucky kid on expeditions with her father. She'll be tough and smart despite her young age. Let's cast the young Leia in the role.

It'll follow their journey for the ark and other treasure-hunting expeditions along the way. Got to really emphasise Indy was riding on someone else's coat tails in finding the ark.

It will bring in a student named Henry who will be in his mid-20s. Of course, this will be Indy, but they'll hope the normies don't remember that so they can have a reveal.

It will then focus on Indy at 27 romancing a 15-year-old Marion. Which ends up destroying his relationship with Abner. It will really highlight how much Indy was in the wrong and basically raped her.

Honestly, some variation of a young Marion leading into a young Indy and her has to be what this is right?

 

[Sneed F91]

The MCU isn't a cancerous boil simply because it's a neverending slew of stories---it's because it's a neverending slew of obnoxious, continuity-reliant dreck hobbling on Easter Eggs, cameos, and shared universe convolution instead of substance.

The MCU has a serialized television structure that also takes the worst parts of long running cape comic books (retcons, inconsistent writing, issues worth of story you have to keep up with in order for it to make sense) and does them in a theatrical format. The worst part is the imitators trying and failing to do the MCU formula without knowing that the only reason it works is because it's the least bad at it.

Although I think the right way to continue (and recover) at this point would be to revisit its roots, there's root-adjacent ideas that could impart the right vibe to the modern format too.

At this point Indiana Jones, like Star Wars, is so far removed from its initial inspiration (1940s film serials) and beyond played out that it's not worth touching anymore. And we all know damn well at this point it's not gonna have any of the pulpy qualities that made it what it was in the first place because of modern sensibilities. Considering Harrison Ford's age Indy 5 is gonna have to take place in the late 60s/early 70s, which is almost a decade before the release of Raiders of the Lost Ark, which says a lot.

Also taking into account Kenedyfilm's track record with SW spinoff films, I doubt this show will even happen. At least Blandor and Acolyte have the Star Wars setting to fall back on. The Ravenwood spinoff shit has nothing.

It will then focus on Indy at 27 romancing a 15-year-old Marion. Which ends up destroying his relationship with Abner. It will really highlight how much Indy was in the wrong and basically raped her.

Making Indy a pedo was probably the weirdest thing Lucas and Spielberg ever came up with

 

[Uranus Pink]

The MCU isn't a cancerous boil simply because it's a neverending slew of stories---it's because it's a neverending slew of obnoxious, continuity-reliant dreck hobbling on Easter Eggs, cameos, and shared universe convolution instead of substance.

And you missed the single biggest FU to comic book readers and that is "status quo is GOD!" And status quo must be adhered to at all time.

 

[Involuntary Celebrity]

At this point Indiana Jones, like Star Wars, is so far removed from its initial inspiration (1940s film serials) and beyond played out that it's not worth touching anymore.

lol try and stop them
I think the real problem is that the audience is distantly removed from the cinematic/narrative languages it was referencing. Like he was playing off shit that played off that shit as much as he was playing off the shit, and the "root" shit we're talking about didn't hatch from the earth fully-formed either.
Even if you perfectly recreated 19XX [GENRE] (which Indy wasn't doing), who would enjoy it? Huge nerd fotieboos and fucking nobody else because entertainment is in a constant cycle of vampirising its influences, which is why zoomers can't enjoy Seinfeld and I usually can't enjoy any movie that I saw the Simpsons parody of first.

So while I still think going back would probably be the right way forward it'd still be a process of interpretation and application to modern creative language (let's skip the argument about how dire a state that's in) and iterating it into at least a grain of novelty so that anybody could possibly give a fuck.

I still think stories about an asshole dodging elaborate traps they find in a secret tunnel under Angkor Wat or whatever are cool, and my taste is immaculate, so it's possible.
The challenge is in remembering that Indiana Jones 2 showed us pictures we didn't see in Indiana Jones 1, and that you have to do that while you're making Indiana Jones 10 for an audience whose 1940s is the 1980s. So actual talent, basically. It will piss off someone no matter what.

 

[BONE_Buddy]

And you missed the single biggest FU to comic book readers and that is "status quo is GOD!" And status quo must be adhered to at all time.

Yes, I remember Spiderman: One More Day, why do you ask?

For some reason, I like character development that isn't reset every five to ten years. It's why I got repulsed by the Superhero comics pretty early on. Telling literally the same story over and over again isn't a strictly Hollywood phenomenon after all.

 

[Creep3r]

Also taking into account Kenedyfilm's track record with SW spinoff films, I doubt this show will even happen. At least Blandor and Acolyte have the Star Wars setting to fall back on. The Ravenwood spinoff shit has nothing.

I personally expect this Indy project to either be canned before it ever sees the light or for it to look like shoddy shit when it comes out. Hell the only reason Anbor even looks like a high budget product is because production for it started when Iger was still around throwing disney money into the fire haphazardly and approving high budgets without much thought (this was the same man who wasted billions on a messy park expansion handled by idiots and thought that simply posting about it on twitter would be the only advertisement it needed).

With Bob Cheapskate on the scene, expect any of his productions for future milked-to-death Disney+ shows to look cheaper and goofier as time goes on.

So not an Indiana Jones series?

So let's think about the ways they will use this to destroy the legacy of Indiana Jones. Ignoring, for now, the supposed retarded plotline of the new film, which is so dumb it simultaneously has to be fake and also 100% probably what they would do.

It will ignore the flashbacks in Last Crusade and the Young Indy series. It will transfer elements of Indy onto Abner. Making Indy someone who is aping his much cooler professor and less of an individual. He'll also have a hat and a whip. He may be half-black.

Marion will probably be the main character. A young and plucky kid on expeditions with her father. She'll be tough and smart despite her young age. Let's cast the young Leia in the role.

It'll follow their journey for the ark and other treasure-hunting expeditions along the way. Got to really emphasise Indy was riding on someone else's coat tails in finding the ark.

It will bring in a student named Henry who will be in his mid-20s. Of course, this will be Indy, but they'll hope the normies don't remember that so they can have a reveal.

It will then focus on Indy at 27 romancing a 15-year-old Marion. Which ends up destroying his relationship with Abner. It will really highlight how much Indy was in the wrong and basically raped her.

Honestly, some variation of a young Marion leading into a young Indy and her has to be what this is right?

My bet's on them making him black and gay/bi just so they can do a lot of guilt tripping about how evil the western world was to minorities back then and show off how progressive Indy was by hero-worshiping this queer man of color (while Indy is paradoxically presented as a scumbag when compared to him).