- Joined
- Jul 17, 2019
I've seen speculation that Elliot is currently DFEing posts relating to his recent deplatforming campaign due either to a reprimand from his employer or complaints they've been receiving from their customers. Because I love shitting all over alleged rapist Elliot William Fong, this seems like the perfect opportunity to do a bit of a deep dive into Honeycomb itself, it's product and how it all fits into the current marketplace.
So what is Honeycomb? Let's let Honeycomb CEO Christine Yen tell us all about it in her blogpost concerning Honeycomb's Series C funding (A):
Observabilty. Honeycomb "coined the term" according to Christine, so she's basically saying Honeycomb created not only a new industry but an entire concept. Wow. That's impressive.
It's also a fucking lie, but hey, don't just take Google's word on this. Let's ask every trannies favorite repository for verified facts: Wikipedia.
(Wikipedia/Archive)
I'll save you the trouble of reading the above article and the one related to software observability (A); Honeycomb isn't mentioned anywhere. Christine might be retarded. She looks relatively normal, but I'd be mentally handicapped if I had to work with trannies and danger hairs as well.
Maybe she was hired for her looks so let's focus on other individuals who obviously weren't. Three of them co-authored a ebook.
(Book info page/Archive)
This is from the book description:
Funnily enough, if we go back to Christine's blogpost, we find something very similar.
So there's an emphasis on observability versus monitoring. Honeycomb's CTO Charity Majors even made a different blogpost concerning the very nature of observability. I highly recommend reading it if you want to listen to an aging, blue-haired dyke rant like a 17 year old yelling fuck you dad they're not the same thing (A).
ETA: "At least once," she says. That's a laugh. I guess she forgot she was trying to project confidence in her product when she penned this long, lengthy, self-titled manifesto filled with gibberish and insecurity issues (A).
Point is, these people can't stop emphasizing observability. It's just above and beyond monitoring and telemetry and whatever. You don't want that shit. It's garbage, according to Honeycomb. Personally, I don't know shit about how true that is, but that's why I do searches like this:
Let's skip past the Gigamon sponsored ad. The relevant stuff is just below it.
You're probably noticing these results are very similar. This is just two of I can't even count how many. Let's check out the Dynatrace (A) blog link.
(Dynatrace blog/Archive)
The post is an elaborate breakdown of observability and monitoring, their meanings, their differences and their applications. It's basically a giant ad saying yeah Dynatrace knows there's a difference, but, unlike Honeycomb, they don't make you choose one over the other. They offer both, together, in a package along with other tools they offer as their service.
Again, this blog-format ad isn't unique. Aside from The New Stack's Thundra offering in the screen cap, there's also StrongDM's Datadog, IBM's Instana and the list goes on from there. None of them are an either/or thing; unlike Honeycomb, they've got all your bases covered.
I'm sure Elliot or Chastity would say I'm wrong, that their observabilty is somehow better, but is it really? If you scroll all the way to the bottom of Honeycomb's main page, there's an automated scrolling list of what I'm assuming are all their customers. I only counted 14 total. These other companies have numbers that make 14 look shameful. That leads me to believe that, despite them preaching the contrary, Honeycomb is offering an inferior service that most potential customers will avoid because they can find better, less limited, more robust options elsewhere quite easily.
Synopsis: Honeycomb is shit. Their employees hype up a shit product that will see shit profit because their service offerings are absolute shit.
Bonus: Honeycomb's idea of important press releases mostly consist of bragging about how they won awards for their observabilty garbage.
(Press release/Archive)
They're so proud that they even link to the award page itself!
(DevOps 2021/Archive)
No, you don't have Elliot Fong eye cancer. The page is broken as shit. I searched Honeycomb amongst the garbage and their name does show up so I'm willing to believe they won. Two points to note though:
(DevOps 2020/Archive)
(DevOps Dozen/Archive)
ETA Bonus 2: Holy shit, I almost forgot something incredibly interesting. When I saw Honeycomb only listed 14 customers on their site, I tried searching elsewhere, looking for customer reviews. This turned up:
I was glancing through it to verify it was talking about Honeycomb.io. It is. You can look through the customer list and you'll see many of the same ones as listed on Honeycomb's site. However, you'll also find some that weren't listed. Take a fucking look at who's at the bottom.
(FeaturedCustomers/Archive)
Fucking hCaptcha. Anyone else remember a certain dickless ghoul name-dropping hCaptcha in the last couple of months oh yeah that fucking nigger Lucas Roberts.
(Tweet/Archive)
Boy, what a coincidence! Wonder why Lucas knew to specifically mention hCaptcha? Couldn't possibly be because he was told to do so by a shovel-faced chink in a private Signal chat who abused his company's connections in an attempt to censor the internet, could it?
gg Gong Gong.
So what is Honeycomb? Let's let Honeycomb CEO Christine Yen tell us all about it in her blogpost concerning Honeycomb's Series C funding (A):
Observabilty. Honeycomb "coined the term" according to Christine, so she's basically saying Honeycomb created not only a new industry but an entire concept. Wow. That's impressive.
It's also a fucking lie, but hey, don't just take Google's word on this. Let's ask every trannies favorite repository for verified facts: Wikipedia.
(Wikipedia/Archive)
I'll save you the trouble of reading the above article and the one related to software observability (A); Honeycomb isn't mentioned anywhere. Christine might be retarded. She looks relatively normal, but I'd be mentally handicapped if I had to work with trannies and danger hairs as well.
Maybe she was hired for her looks so let's focus on other individuals who obviously weren't. Three of them co-authored a ebook.
(Book info page/Archive)
This is from the book description:
Funnily enough, if we go back to Christine's blogpost, we find something very similar.
So there's an emphasis on observability versus monitoring. Honeycomb's CTO Charity Majors even made a different blogpost concerning the very nature of observability. I highly recommend reading it if you want to listen to an aging, blue-haired dyke rant like a 17 year old yelling fuck you dad they're not the same thing (A).
ETA: "At least once," she says. That's a laugh. I guess she forgot she was trying to project confidence in her product when she penned this long, lengthy, self-titled manifesto filled with gibberish and insecurity issues (A).
Point is, these people can't stop emphasizing observability. It's just above and beyond monitoring and telemetry and whatever. You don't want that shit. It's garbage, according to Honeycomb. Personally, I don't know shit about how true that is, but that's why I do searches like this:
Let's skip past the Gigamon sponsored ad. The relevant stuff is just below it.
You're probably noticing these results are very similar. This is just two of I can't even count how many. Let's check out the Dynatrace (A) blog link.
(Dynatrace blog/Archive)
The post is an elaborate breakdown of observability and monitoring, their meanings, their differences and their applications. It's basically a giant ad saying yeah Dynatrace knows there's a difference, but, unlike Honeycomb, they don't make you choose one over the other. They offer both, together, in a package along with other tools they offer as their service.
Again, this blog-format ad isn't unique. Aside from The New Stack's Thundra offering in the screen cap, there's also StrongDM's Datadog, IBM's Instana and the list goes on from there. None of them are an either/or thing; unlike Honeycomb, they've got all your bases covered.
I'm sure Elliot or Chastity would say I'm wrong, that their observabilty is somehow better, but is it really? If you scroll all the way to the bottom of Honeycomb's main page, there's an automated scrolling list of what I'm assuming are all their customers. I only counted 14 total. These other companies have numbers that make 14 look shameful. That leads me to believe that, despite them preaching the contrary, Honeycomb is offering an inferior service that most potential customers will avoid because they can find better, less limited, more robust options elsewhere quite easily.
Synopsis: Honeycomb is shit. Their employees hype up a shit product that will see shit profit because their service offerings are absolute shit.
Bonus: Honeycomb's idea of important press releases mostly consist of bragging about how they won awards for their observabilty garbage.
(Press release/Archive)
They're so proud that they even link to the award page itself!
(DevOps 2021/Archive)
No, you don't have Elliot Fong eye cancer. The page is broken as shit. I searched Honeycomb amongst the garbage and their name does show up so I'm willing to believe they won. Two points to note though:
- Honeycomb's press release reads like this award is finally acknowledging the importance of observability, that it's recognizing them as industry vanguards. It isn't. Other fuckers won the exact same category the previous year.
- You can nominate yourself for $250. Splunk probably didn't feel like buying it again, and nobody else probably gave two shits. Congrats, you purchased a participation trophy no one will care about.
(DevOps 2020/Archive)
(DevOps Dozen/Archive)
ETA Bonus 2: Holy shit, I almost forgot something incredibly interesting. When I saw Honeycomb only listed 14 customers on their site, I tried searching elsewhere, looking for customer reviews. This turned up:
I was glancing through it to verify it was talking about Honeycomb.io. It is. You can look through the customer list and you'll see many of the same ones as listed on Honeycomb's site. However, you'll also find some that weren't listed. Take a fucking look at who's at the bottom.
(FeaturedCustomers/Archive)
Fucking hCaptcha. Anyone else remember a certain dickless ghoul name-dropping hCaptcha in the last couple of months oh yeah that fucking nigger Lucas Roberts.
(Tweet/Archive)
Boy, what a coincidence! Wonder why Lucas knew to specifically mention hCaptcha? Couldn't possibly be because he was told to do so by a shovel-faced chink in a private Signal chat who abused his company's connections in an attempt to censor the internet, could it?
gg Gong Gong.
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